4 Ways to Talk Like a Leader
Many of the frustrations and pains you experience are caused by something stupid you said.
Thoughtless words cause more trouble than they’re worth. But skillful leaders exercise verbal control.
4 ways to talk like a leader
You can talk your way into better leadership. Yes, leaders deliver results. But often, the thing that holds leaders back is lack of verbal control.
#1. Only open your mouth to make things better.
Other than eating, the only reason to open your mouth is to make something better.
Seven questions to ask yourself before opening your mouth:
- Is it useful?
- Is it truthful?
- Is it on topic?
- Is it forward-facing?
- Is it solution oriented?
- Is it sincere or manipulative and leading?
- Have others contributed to the conversation or are you hogging the floor?
Words are rudders.
Individuals and teams move in the direction of their conversations.
(After composing the above list, I realized that I’m talking too much.)
#2. Be more excited to listen than to speak.
“There is a difference between listening and waiting for your turn to speak.” Simon Sinek
The least utilized tool of leadership is listening. Try asking two questions before making one comment.
#3. Don’t express all your feelings.
Leaders exercise emotional control. Losing your cool, for example, is seldom a wise option. Two year-olds give full vent to their emotions.
Mature leaders act with others in mind. Reserve venting for your counselor or therapist.
#4. Test your knowledge.
You earn respect when you ask questions and test assumptions before giving opinions and making decisions.
It’s challenging to test your assumptions when you’ve already made up your mind.
Once you’ve made up your mind, the conversation is over unless you’re open to change.
“Listening is being able to be changed by the other person.” Alan Alda
What suggestions do you have for talking like a leader?
Good evening,
Talk like a leader? This is one of those “topics” that should fall under, “Man, know thyself.” Knowing what to say, how to say it, or when to verbalize something is something that eventually comes with time. I do not believe this is something that can be taught. It is something that will naturally flow from someone who has developed, grown and evolved into an astute leader.
Thanks ZK. Your comment hints at the importance and power of emotional intelligence and that’s something we can all learn.
#5 listen carefully to the response and know when to make amends.
Thanks Anne-Marie. Sometimes I think a quick mind is a curse. You don’t take time to listen and reflect. You just know and then spew a response.
It reminds me of a Quote by Maya Angelou “people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
Thanks Gerry. Love that quote.
The word Listen and the word Silent have the same letters
This is very timely for me! I spend a lot of time speaking in front of people. A good 50% of the time I feel I say 1 sentence more than I should have. I understand this about myself and try to control it. I appreciate your leadership meditation for this morning! A leader can have the perfect vision for his/her organization but, if it can’t be effectively communicated, you are left with little to no action. Thanks Dan!!!
Thanks Dan! A timely reminder. I have too often been guilty of allowing my tongue to run away from me. I have heard and read most of these points before (I even preached on a loose tongue from James 3 on Sunday morning!) but the way you express them is memorable. I particularly like “Only open your mouth to make things better” – I’ve not thought of it that way before. I think I may now be speaking less! Rob | http://www.equippinghispeople.com