Growing Powder
Our three grandchildren. Asher, Abram, and Dahlia.
Wide-eyed, our two oldest grandchildren hung on every word as I explained the mysterious power of “growing powder.” I explained that I just found the last little bit of the powerful powder my own dad used on me when I was only five years old. (It’s no coincidence that our grandchildren are five and four). Excitedly I told them the mystical powder helped me grow tall. I explained that my dad applied some to the top of my head, my big toe and finally, a dash on my tongue. At last I asked, “Would you like me to put ‘growing powder’ on you?”
Moments later I was bench-marking their height with a pencil on the inside of a door jamb. We headed for the sunroom anticipating the magical application. They were excited but not frivolous, solemn but not sober. Daliah concentrated as the ritual commenced with her younger brother. I applied the white “growing powder” while quietly making it clear that it didn’t take much.
After application, Asher (4 yrs) stood tall against the door-jamb where his original mark waited for comparison. I carefully made the mark and announced, “Yup, it worked!” Asher joyfully spun to see he’d grown a full ½ inch.
Daliah (5 yrs) struggled to maintained her poise as the final swipe of the effective powder landed on her taste buds. I asked, “What does it taste like?” “Peppermint,” she replied quizzically. A taste quite like powdered antacid. Sure enough, upon inspection “growing powder” caused Daliah to sprout like her brother.
I wish Personal growth was as easy as applying “growing powder” but it never is. I think the context of personal growth is tension. We grow when we are stretched. If you’d like to grow, step into a situation you aren’t fully equipped to handle.
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Note: Honestly, my dad never applied growing powder to me. However, the rest of the growing powder story is true. Well, they may not have grown a full ½ inch. Furthermore, we soon discovered that “growing powdered” had enabled both Daliah and Asher to jump higher and run faster.
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What facilitates personal growth? What suggestions can you offer a person who wants to grow their leadership skills?
*****
Leadership Freak
Dan Rockwell
Great words of wisdom. I have found that all the other worldly distractions prevent many from personal growth be it in their personal life or professional life. I strongly recommend reading leadership based books that are fun and simple to understand. There are so many books out there and years ago I began a library of books for management personnel to be able to read without having to purchase them hoping to encourage future development. The other group of books in the library are books written by coaches, Joe Torre, Phil Jackson, Don Shula, etc who inspire and build winning teams by their coaching styles or in our terms management methods. Lets face it they have a tough job coaching many athletes with big ego’s who make alot of money. Just like the story of the growing powder you have to want to run faster and want to jump higher in order to grow in your leadership skills.
By the way Dan – beautiful grandchildren.
Diane,
Thanks for stopping in. I know you are a long time reader and I think this is your first comment. I appreciate it.
Providing reading resources is a great idea and I love how you’ve purchased a set of books on the coaching theme.
I love how you left a golden nugget near the end or your comment. If you are going to grow YOU HAVE TO WANT IT.
Best to you,
Dan
PS… they are adorable 🙂 and thanks for saying so.
I see growing powder as inculcating values. We learn from what we see and do. So the basic learning starts from our parents and surroundings and when we become adult and more aware, we learn from situations, circumstances and friends. In fact, these values make our character and shape our future. We learn from each person, places, and experiences. Learning is a journey and never ending process. But basic learnings have more impact on life and they are ingrained. Other values are learned through exposure, education and experience.
A person learns more in adversities, situations and odd circumstances. It is almost impossible to learn leadership skills through education, discussion or teaching. Leadership skills is an experience and unless you sense it, you cant learn it. So person with a lot of support may not learn leadership. However, person with lack of support may likely to learn leadership more than the person having all support. You cant learn how to swim unless you try it and do it. Similarly you can t feel the pain of cancer patients unless you pass some times and sense their pain. So, sensitivity is essential and the most important quality to become a leader.
Ajay,
You continue to pack value for the community into your comments. Thanks!
Very interesting how you suggest that too much support may hinder our growth. Over protection is a subtle form of rejection. When we over protect others the message is, “you aren’t capable.”
Thank you for giving back,
Dan
Dear Dan,
Following a tradition of ‘growing powder’ and showing the way of growth to a new generation with the needed encouragement coupled with fun is thought provoking idea for leaders to follow. It’s a matter of pride to take adequate care of our own siblings and showing them the road of triumph and success.
One can really experience the joy of seeing them growing with intimacy and a bonding of faith and family spirit to lay a strong foundation.
An innovative writing style that inspires the readers to have an insight of relating simple things of life to a professional learning. The leaders owe the responsibility of brining up the team with love and affection.
Dr. Asher,
Your last line really impacted me. “bring up the team with love and affection.” There is a growing body of leadership material supporting your encouragement.
“The Radical Leap” by Steve Farber is a great read that fits along these lines. http://www.amazon.com/Radical-Leap-Personal-Extreme-Leadership/dp/1427797927/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1276020593&sr=1-1
As always, you have my best regards,
Dan
Your grandchildren are ADORABLE. I am a little too entrenched in my personal war against tension at work right now to have perspective on this. HOWEVER, I believe the experiences I am having now are part of my life for a reason (that I’m sure is related to personal growth). The “growing powder” I am applying involves doing things that tap most closely to my strongest skills (writing, editing) and the things that simply make me happy (filmmaking support, acting, reading, exercising). I hope that down the road I learn that this combination (tension + small infusions of happiness “stuff”) makes me do the equivalent of what you grandchild did — say “oh my gosh I DID grow!”
Paula,
Thanks for the good word.
You remind me of Campbell’s expression, “Follow your bliss.”
I always enjoy your visits. Thanks
Dan
Dan I love this post and you have lovely grandchildren. I see three leaders there already! 🙂 I also have set aside a sort of Library of sorts that is open to all the physicians serving on the different committees of our organization. We are also using the Advisory Board and have about 30 individuals enrolled in their leadership academy which has a curriculum which runs over a 2 year span with 4-6 hour conferences once a quarter. So far the first two sessions have been excellent including the last one which was on Financials. The AB is focused on healthcare so this might not apply to everyone. I have been pleasantly surprised at the interest and attendance. I like the growing powder analogy and agree with the post above regarding sensitivity however I believe that the trait that has gotten our team more traction has been authenticity. People can see from across the room when leaders are moving their lips but their body motion tells a different story. I read recently and I forget where that there are over 6000 different body motions that can say who and what you really are. Perhaps the community out there has more information regarding how body motion speaks to our colleagues.
Al,
Thanks for bringing authenticity to the mix. It may be an over used term but without authenticity we’ll struggle with success and meaning.
I’ve read that something between 80 and 90 percent of communication is nonverbal.
Best to you,
Dan
In the Spring 2010 issue of The American Scholar, William Deresiewicz’s speech to the plebe class of West Point last October is provided. It is titled “Solitude and Leadership.” I found it to be enormously thought provoking. Deresiewicz delves into an aspect of leadership I do not recall reading in any of the so-called hundreds of leadership books I have read over the years. The subtitle of his speech is “If you want others to follow, learn to be alone with your thoughts.”
You can access the speech here: http://www.theamericanscholar.org/solitude-and-leadership/
Enjoy
Jim,
Thank you for bringing Deresiewicz’s speech to the conversation. I am familiar with the speech and I think there may be another link or two within LF blogs to his powerful ideas.
The part of his speech that really shakes me focuses on the problem of conformists being promoted within organizations. Deresiewicz believes mid and upper management, and corporate offices have people in them who know how to play the game. They have grown in game playing but not in the ability to think for themselves. They are mediocre. Frankly, rereading his indictment still challenges me.
Thanks again for brining this valuable speech to the LF conversation.
ANNOUNCEMENT: I have begun creating a featured contributor page for the LF blog. It isn’t complete. However, Jim is the first to send me his info and I’ve posted his picture and short bio at: http://leadershipfreak.wordpress.com/featured-contributors/
More featured contributors are in the pipeline.
Regards,
Dan
Dan,
I loved Deresiewicz’s term for kids entering ivy league colleges as “trained hoop jumpers.” I see this in my practice all the time.
Jim
What a great story! I think that sometimes the simple magic of someone ‘giving’ you a little bit of growing power (influence, listening, supporting your ideas) makes you grow as a leader as you strive to live up to your new good name… 🙂
Anna,
Thanks for the good word.
Your comment makes me smile. It’s so simple to throw a little “growing powder” on someone.
Best,
Dan
Great story Dan.
To grow ones skills one has to apply themselves. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for theory and classroom learning (I’m studying an MBA part-time) but the real opportunity to grow comes when you’re thrown in the deep end.
If I may indulge you in a wee story: when I was a kid, I wanted to learn how to ride a bicycle. So for my 5th birthday my dad got me a bike and took me to the nearest park, with a big steep grassy hill. I jumped on the bike and he pushed me down the hill. I was going fine until the gound flattened out. “Pedal son, pedal!” I heard him say, but as I slowed down I fell off. As I lay there on the soft grass, I looked back up to the top of the hill where i could see my father running towards me. I was amazed how far I travelled. I’d actually riden a bike…sort of!
So we picked up the bike, walked back to the top of the hill and I tried it again. This time success. I pedaled. And that’s how I learnt how to ride a bike.
It’s the same with leadership skills. You need to apply yourself. Just do it. You’ll either ‘pedal’ or you’ll fall off. Either way you’ll learn. The important thing is that if you DO fall off, reflect on how far you’ve come and learn from your mistake. This, I believe is a formula for both leadership AND personal growth.
Mark,
Love your story and I think your lesson is spot on. Books and education are essential but “real” growth happens when we put our feet on the pedals.
“Either way, you learn”
Thanks for adding value,
Dan
Hellol Dan,
First and foremost I believe that you must recognize that leadership requires that you be in service to the led. If you try to lead without service you won’t have many followers that are not compelled to follow. Next you must study great leaders through reading…if you aren’t focused on what has made other great leaders great you soon lose focus. Finally I believe that to properly lead you must visualize your end goals then share those goals with everyone so that they can visualize their part in the end goal. Get these things right and you are well on your way to being successful.
Kevin
Kevin,
Thanks for coming by and leaving what I believe is your first comment. I appreciate it. I can tell you have an organized mind with an ability to communicate clearly. Thank you for joining the conversation.
I hope to see you again soon,
Dan
Hi Dan
of course you know I love this post. It speaks volumes of you and your values – and they sure look like future leaders to me. I truly appreciate the other posts too, what a valuable community you are assembling. a reference I would like to point people to is Max More – http://www.maxmore.com/optimism.htm – i found this hugely rewarding in respect of proactively engaging our ‘optimist’ (whihic is what I see your growing powder as) – i see it as a pre-requisite to leadership (I have a post scheduled for next week on this).
Also I have found blogging provides another sort of growing powder – there are not many occupations your future generations can follow your thoughts/values in, but blogging, as you do, fits the bill. This realisation so affected me I have another blog running at a more personal level on my thoughts/feelings about family and food/cooking – and I’m loving that.
thankyou again, you warm the day for many of us I am sure. Richard
Richard,
Always a delight seeing you have stopped in. I love reading your insightful comments.
Thanks for the link you left. I didn’t have time to read the article you suggest. However I did read some of it. Don’t complain popped out at me. I’m taking that bit of advise to heart today.
You didn’t leave a link to your personal blog? I love how your website is shaping up. It looks great. http://croadworks.com/
I’m with you, blogging is personally beneficial and an opportunity to add value to others. (sprinkle growing powder)
Best to you ,
Dan