The most important leadership quality of all
The most active Leadership Freak discussions occurred around an interview with John Spence and the subsequent review of his book “Awesomely Simple.” Our discussion regarding the top three leadership qualities every leader should have resulted in Doc analyzing the conversation and sending a graph of the top vote getters.
Surprisingly, we left out the most important leadership quality of all, Believing You Matter
Leaders believe they can make a difference. Some people feel pushed around by circumstances. They feel circumstances are changing them. On the other hand, leaders have the sense that they can change circumstances. It’s the difference between feeling acted upon versus acting upon. Scholars call it Locus of Control.
“It is not a question of ‘Will I make a difference?’ Rather, it’s ‘What difference will I make?”
(Kouzes/Posner, The Truth about Leadership)
The conundrum of leadership
Once you’ve decided you matter, the next things leaders do is make others feel they matter. This is what I call the conundrum of leadership. You matter so that you can make others matter.
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Leadership begins with the conviction you can change something. In addition, all leadership development begins with helping others see they can make a difference.
The belief that you matter is the
most important leadership quality of all.
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I can think of a specific time when I came to believe I could, that I must, change things. It began with changing me and moved to changing the organization I lead.
Can you recall a moment when you came to believe that you could change something? Was that the genesis of your leadership?
What do you think? Is the belief that you matter the most important leadership quality of all? Does all leadership begin there?
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Community note: Thanks to Bob Sutton, author of Good Boss, Bad Boss for stopping in yesterday to leave a brief comment. In the near future, I’ll be posting an interview with Dr. Sutton followed by a review of his new book.
One of the most important differences a leader can make is raising the confidence of his or her people that they can make, and are making, a difference.
Joe,
Bingo…
Thanks
Locus of control is right on Dan. A bit ironic that a leader is the person who believes s/he can change conditions (aka they have a sense of power and control) yet if s/he operates from the “control” position, failure often results.
Simple yet great outreach to emerging leaders — understand the internal genesis of your strength and then build it from the outside in (the people).
The ever present frustrating challenge of many a leader.
Kate
Kate,
I see you appreciate the conundrum of leadership. If we aren’t careful we become like black holes thinking everything revolves around us. If we aren’t careful we suck the light from everything around us. Personally, I find the need to control runs deep. Perhaps seeing the need to control is the first step in sharing control with another qualified person.
As always, I’m delighted you stop in..
Best to you,
Dan
Kate is a featured blogger on Leadership Freak. I’m thankful she frequently shares her thoughts and insights. Her bio and contact information is at: http://leadershipfreak.wordpress.com/kate-nasser
I have an opportunity every day to evoke the belief in Job Seekers that they matter (which they do).
In response, I developed a training program for Job Seekers (avail on my linkedin profile http://linkedin.com/in/themiracleworker) and I am creating a TV show (http://srkinc.com/treatment.pdf) to show the world just how valuable Job Seekers are.
I did this not because I matter but because they matter. All they need is self discovery and permission.
Alan,
Thank you for stopping in to share you insights and links. I’ve come to believe that a fundamental function of all leaders is letting others know they matter. Go gettem!
All the best,
Dan
The belief that you can make a difference – or the vision of what that difference may be is an important component – but the difference between dreamers and leaders is that leaders ACT on those beliefs and begin the process of ACTually making a difference. It is through ACTion that we inspire others to come with us on the journey and along the way develop them so that they too can believe and act on those beliefs.
Now to your question. I am not sure of the first time I belived and acted to change something – but here is an early one. At the ripe old age of 12 I set out to change a HUGE injustice. Our local movie theater had half price tickets for “children” 11 and under. But at 12 we could not see the “PG” movies without our parents coming too!. We just had to pay more to see “kids” movies. To me, at the time, that was just no right. The solution was to gather all the local kids my age together, draft a petition, and make an appointment with the manager to explain our position. We all showed up that Saturday – about 50 of us from the local grammer school, a carefully worded hand written petition in hand to state our case signed by all of the kids in the 5th and 6th grade from our local school. (Our parents stayed in the parking lot.) The action got results. The theatre changed the price rule to age 13 – when we could see those PG movies alone and added a student rate from 13-18 for the others. We may not have changed the world but we all learned a lesson. Hold firm to your beliefs – create a plan – act on it together. When you do, you can make a difference. We may not have changed the world – but we did change the price of a movie ticket. 🙂
“You matter” indeed, Dan. I couldn’t agree more.
For me personally, the point of true leadership discovery was the point of self-awareness, self-management and the ability to lead myself in most if not all contexts (personally and professionally, although in today’s world, there is limited distinction, only integration).
You can’t lead others unless you can lead yourself, which is why you must matter.
Dan – Dan Pink calls it “having a purpose,” one of 3 key motivations in his book “Drive.” When you serve a higher purpose, of course you matter. Without a purpose, how can you matter?
Dear Dan,
Absolutely Yes. I believe that belief is the greatest leadership quality. At least I have shaped my life on the my belief. Belief aligns your goal with your heart and when you are aligned with your goal, even circustances will favor you. I do believe that cicumstances can delay your progress but They can not stop you if you are committed and determined. So, determination, dedication and devotion reinforce your belief. Single identity, trasparancy, honesty make your belief real and visible. If you are not trasparent and honest, your belief will be imaginary and will not turn into reality.
If I recall my past academic journey. There were talented and brilliant students with me who could reach much more higher than they are now, but I think, apart from circumstances, they might not have belief in their capabilities and potentials. What prevented them ? I think it could be feeling of security and complacency in their job. When we want to be secured, we do not try new and that attitude makes all the difference. Eventually Complacency brings adamancy and adamancy breeds fear and when you are fearful you need external support. So the best to change fear into confidence is to fight fear with action. Confidence fosters belief. So, leader has to fight fear to bring confidence and then to reinforce his belief.
‘I agree that it is the belief that matters the most for a true leader. Whether it is personal or professional journey, belief makes all the difference.
Dan,
In regards to Locus of control and conundrum of leadership.
Locus of control; A leader who can quickly analyze a situation and minimize the impact if it is bad has not really changed things just reduced the impact. However the same leader will learn a valuable lesson from the situation and have learned the early warning signs to know how to change things so there is not a repeat performance. Also a leader is aware of their environment when they enter a new situation, i.e. starting at a new company, and after studying the environment will see a need for change. How they present and execute that change will tell if it will be accepted.
Conundrum;
As I have said before a leaders success is based on the success of their people. Like it has been state din other comments here a leader must boost the confidence of the people they lead in order for them to see their potential and improve.
It is a leaders humility that should keep their ego under control. This way you do not find yourself in a situation of do as I say not as I do. I believe there is a line in the first Spiderman movie that says, “with power comes great responsibility”. I believe the intention of that line is remember what your original insight was so that you do not get larger than it. Maybe leaders need a reality checker to let them know when they are starting to waiver.
What do you think? Is the belief that you matter the most important leadership quality of all? Does all leadership begin there?
I don’t think I would say that all leadership begins “there.” I have had leaders who probably struggled mightily with self worth and “mattering” to themselves but who led definitively. Conversely, plenty of people thing they matter A LOT to themselves, but don’t effectively lead.
Having been moved from the responsibility of supervising 7 people to a position where I supervise no one, I struggle with this question a lot currently. Judging by how people respond to my writing and some of my efforts outside of the business arena, I am hopeful that it is possible to lead (in addition to pure supervision) by word, message, and example.
I think you’ve touched on something fundamental here, Dan – as usual. I believe it’s in learning to lead ourselves first that we find the tools to lead others.
Thanks for sharing!
I think you’ve overstated the case. I agree that a leader BELIEVES change can happen… but I don’t think a leader NECESSARILY recognizes his or her leadership role or ability. There is at least one moment in the lives of most leaders when they glance over their shoulders and take pause: There are followers back there, and what’s that about? Some effective leaders never even have that moment; they simply lead, oblivious to the fact.
Those who don’t know they matter may be most effective at empowering others. Those others simply throw in shoulder-to-shoulder with such a leader and get things done.
Most important leadership hmmmm? I think caring is probably for me the most critical. If you are all caring all else will fall in place. You will contribute, collaborate, consider, complement, be content, give contentment, show camaraderie, show consolation, inspire creativity, walk the credo, show confluence, join congregation, dispel conflict, clear confusion, have courage, cheerfuIl, congruent, complete,clear, and competent; I probably Could go on but I will let Doc do that. Seriously I truly believe CARING should be the ultimate sine qua non of all leaders. We can train and educate all of the tangible metric qualities but how do you teach someone to care? I don’t think you can nor would I want to persuade anyone to. It is either ingrained in your DNA or you just don’t have it and without true leadership will always elude you. AD
Indeed!
How can you lead if you don’t have belief in yourself that you can lead?
How can I drive the bus if I don’t believe that I am a good driver?
It all starts with the self, and projects outwards from there.
chairs
mg
INSPIRATION!
🙂
Wow, excellent and thought provoking post, Dan. You nailed the conundrum – it is fine line between believing “you matter” and believing that “you matter more than…”
Steve,
Thanks for leaving your first comment. You encourage me. Couldn’t agree more…its easy for confidence to become arrogance.
Best to you,
Dan
Hi Mr. Rockwell,
I am one of the leaders in a relatively new company in Manila. Yesterday, one of the writers in our company blog, in her research for an article she’s writing about our 4th year anniversary, asked me: “As a pioneer, what do you love most about our company?” I thought about my answer, and realized that my love for the company, especially for the people I lead, is hard to contain in a few words. Finally, I answered: I love this company mostly because here, I matter – and everyday I get the chance to make others feel that they matter, too.
Then I logged on to twitter and read this post. Being new at leadership, I am not yet completely confident about my skills. I am often amazed and enlightened by the insights I find and learn from here. Lots of times, I read something that reinforces what I know and feel about leadership only from instinct…like this post. Reading this has raised my confidence level several notches.
So thank you, sir. I appreciate you and your posts.
Sincerely,
Anna