For whiners only
About 6 months ago I had great fun getting a few things off my chest. Many readers had fun adding their own irritations to the list. I’m declaring this “Whining Wednesday,” again. I’m going to share something that ticks me off. I’m not really looking for solutions. I’m just whining.
It really ticks me off when those going nowhere criticize those working to go somewhere. Who do they think they are? How can they give themselves permission to be arm chair quarterbacks? Honestly, when I listen to the visionless criticize vision; I want to ask them, “Where are you going in life?” I want to ask, “What happens to me if I listen to you?” I want to say, “Where are you taking your circle of friends?” Or, “Who are you lifting higher?”
I’m not thinking about individuals grappling with finding vision. I’m thinking about short-sighted folks who yank the rug out from under you while you’re striving to be long-sighted.
Hey, this feels good. I’m on a roll! Here are a couple more things that tick me off!
It really ticks me off when people say they’ll do something and don’t do it. Sadly, I’m guilty of this one too. When I over commit or let someone down, I’m ticked at myself.
It really ticks me off when people pretend they can do something when they know they can’t.
I’m interested in what ticks you off. What’s the burr under your saddle, stone in your shoe, or tack in your chair? Feel free to post under a false name.
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What’s one of your leadership frustrations?
On the other hand, how do leaders tick you off?
Here’s a challenge for those rejecting today’s “gripe mode.” Turn the gripes you read into something positive.
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If you liked this post, check out:
Things that tick leaders off!
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My apologies for publishing Wednesday mornings post on Tuesday night. I hit the wrong button and kaboom.
Maybe it’s poetic justice. I’m whining…now you can whine.
Best to everyone.
I was wondering why one of your posts showed up in the evening! But I won’t whine about getting it early.
It really ticks me off when know-nothings try to write authoritatively about subjects they know nothing about. You ever read some of the comments circulating about the evils of an independent Fed and the glories of the gold standard? Folks who have never read history and think the 19th century was the high point of civilization. Grrrrr…watch out, my blood pressure’s about to blow…
thats the spirit Mark!
It really ticks me off when people hit a certain age they feel they have the right to say anything to anybody, no matter who they hurt. They say they are only trying to help but eventually they really cross the line. Before they point a finger at someone else, they should remember how many are pointing back at themselves.
Ka Pow Amy!!
It really ticks me off when people don’t hold their promised deadlines. When they just walk into the statusmeeting saying “We will be late…”. No alternative solution, no resquest for more resources, money, whatever … No scope changes … They just don’t care about the people waiting for the delivery. Arrrgh!
Ulrika, ugh… nicely said.
Allow me to counter with one of my own IRTMOs.
It really ticks me off when leaders set deadlines without any consideration or compassion for those whose deadlines they are setting. I’ve been in situations where it doesn’t matter why I’m behind schedule, I just am and I’d better get back on track or else! That’s even when the schedule was made ignoring my input entirely, or when the whole scope of the work changed and I wasn’t allowed to update the schedule or anything. The changes were made without any notification or anything else, but I’d better work “16 hours a day, 7 days a week” (and that was the actual comment in one case) with no overtime compensation of any sort, even though the scope of the work changed from a simple copy-and-adjust to a complete rewrite.
Joe, I love your acronym IRTMO. That has real potential. Thanks for jumping in.
And Dan, thanks for the inspiration … I have used “Whining-meetings” a couple of times as a way to help people free themselves of “what really ticks them off” in that period. It’s helpful to clean up a bit sometimes, when it is said in public, the whining often becomes less important, and at the end the team get’s a new start. I did forget about the “Whining-meetings” though, and this blog came as a good reminder with perfect timing. Thanks a lot! Whining meeting next!
Ulrika,
Now thats an interesting and terrifying idea… 🙂
Cheers,
Dan
Great idea! It creates an atmosphere of trust and openness, allowing people to be who they really are!
Keep it up! Your teams no doubt love you for it!
I like it Ulrika, a more ‘formalized’ whining meeting.
Bring in cheese and crackers (to go with the whine) and really dig into it. What fun! Having the permission to whine may be very freeing.
It would be a challenge to not drift into fixes for the whines at the end…have to think on that. Maybe a squirt gun and if anyone starts to ‘fix’, then they get squirted.
Squirt gun??? Now there’s potential!!
Bureaucracy ticks me off when you have to go through layers of approvals with each having their moments of attention (from the initiator) with their ‘no, it cant be done’ moments.
Balu, ooooo, good one!
Dear Dan,
Yes, we come across people in all facets of our routine life who try to show off even when they don’t have much knowledge on the subject matter. Whenever anyone is hospitalised, realtives and friends always go on an advisory mode as if they are better than the treating doctors. People in authority at times misuse their powers and take decisions without having sufficient knowledge or consulting others are better informed.
It ticks me off when one is singled out for speaking truth and giving the reality based facts and are not heard or given an appropriate attention.
Dr. Asher, know-it-alls … ding ding! Thats a good one… Then your second one goes hand in hand… I’m having fun reading these.
It really ticks me off when people drip feed me the truth. Rather than admit that there is something seriously wrong, they try to cover it up and only reveal the truth bit by bit as their story falls apart.
Accept responsibility. Tell me the full scale of the problem and then we can do something about it.
Dear Reflections…these comments just get better and better… thanks for “whining”
Thanks Dan for giving us this opportunity 🙂
It ticks me off when you help someone with new perspective, new way of seeing things and opportunity of acting, and they reflect silently “is it possible we have been years doing the wrong thing?” and then they tell you “you brought nothing to the table”, i understand their need to overcome their negative view of themselves when remembering how many opportunities and resources they lost by simply not seeing things in different perspective …but it really ticks me off!
Huda, I have to tell you there is some perverse sense of fun in reading all these complaints. Maybe it’s fun because I don’t have to solve them… thanks for sharing your irritation.. 🙂
Interesting post Dan to say the least. 10 years ago I would have provided a nice laundry list of pet peeves and all those things that would make me really P.O. That was 10 years ago which seems like an eternity. Sometimes it takes some personal cataclysmic event to make one re-focus on what truly matters, like losing a child or being told you have the big “C.” Do things happen daily that irritate me, absolutely. It is just that when I give it serious thought most of the time I can usually look within myself and ask myself “what should I have done or said differently or how did I go wrong?” I just finished reading QBQ by John Miller and it sort of opened my eyes even further. It would take almost a nuclear event to get me P.O. These days instead I take the opportunity to provide feedback when I can or model different behaviors when possible but most of the time I spend trying to learn from it all and grow a little more each day and as repeated in QBQ take personal accountability. I know this was a griping session so if anything I am whining about myself. That is truly the only person I can change anyway. I appreciate the opportunity to vent. You all have a great day, regards Al
Al, you are the voice of reason. I’ll be reading and reviewing QBQ soon. It looks like it’s a good thing I got this Whining Wednesday out of my system before I read it. Regards, Dan
It really annoys me when people add unnecessary drama to a situation.
Greg, thanks for bringing that one up… me too… Just chill!
All those charming comments from people who think they know how you should do your job…when they just don’t know how to do your job. How did our uninformed opinions come to matter so much.
I also despise my own whining. Ha!
I despise my own whining… 🙂 … Love that.
It really ticks me off when people whine and cry (literally) about how they can’t do something, when I know they are perfectly capable of doing what they say they can’t. It soon develops into a tactic for manipulating others to do their work for them. Sometimes I have to bite my tongue to keep from saying “All right already, just do it!”
And, it bothers me when people commit, but never follow through – even late. I don’t have a problem with late as long as it happens – because I know that people have many opportunities to be spread thin these days.
Thanks – timely. Needed to get both those things said. They were weighing down my soul. Now, off to an awesome and wonderful day!
Nicely said. I’ve seen the “I can’t do it” strategy. I had someone tell me that when they don’t want to do something they just start asking questions until the person gives up and does it without them.
You are a great whiner. 😉
What a great concept – gripe, get it off your chest and get on with things
It really ticks me off when people not only accept but applaud mediocrity – what ever happened to having bold expectations for yourself and your kids!
Valerie, Love your gripe… felt good for me to read it.
I’m really challenged by this one. Thanks for posting it. I find “perfection” to be tyrannical. Somewhere there is a tipping point in either direction. Thank you.
Maybe the anti-Collins is now publishing, ‘Good to Average’
Let’s see, a leadership frustration I have experienced is when someone does fulfill “the letter of the law” but completely fails to solve a problem because they don’t think through consequences. In our oversight of a Third Party Adminstrator, we see that all the time. Due to an administrative timing issue, sometimes children are sent to enrollees as insured after the first of the month. That creates a period of about five days at the beginning of the month where the child is technically covered but can’t, for instance, pick up a prescription at the pharmacy b/c their coverage can’t be verified — or worse — can’t easily get into the doctor when they have a fever of 103. Although it is getting better, there have been SO many opportunities for representatives to explain all of that to parents, and to initiate the procedure (and there is one!) to advise the plan that the child IS covered, and to provide some peace of mind to the families. So disconnected to Vision/Mission/Values. What is it that prevents/disincentivizes them from taking that next step?
Paula, now you’re talking a serious complaint…this one didn’t make me smile. I’m glad you joined in. Dan
Okay, Dear LF, you gave us license to whine. Here are two.
1) Irritating laughs. Sounds so minor, right? How could a bit of laughter darken the workday. Trust me, it can – when it is high pitched, nervous, incessant laughter in a relatively tight (and not soundproof) space, it can and it does.
2) “Mandatory Fun” When leadership schedules “employee bonding” on work hours. There are times when this is appropriate, but if leadership doesn’t communicate well in advance — and staff have set up meetings with multiple parties — then have to cancel for the “mandatory fun” — part of the goal of creating good vibes among the staff (not to mention keeping the office covered) — is lost.
Wow, LF Community, I feel better now. Thanks, Dan, for this opportunity – which by the way might get you a few more votes in the “best blog” competition!!
Hey… you’ve taking whining to a new level… thanks… Probably whiners will vote for me… hmmm ??
Micromanagers
Micromanagement is the SCIENCE of looking at what people do not do and BEING STARVED of people skills to have the VISION that people really need.
Steve, this one goes in “book” as a keeper. Thanks for sharing being so much on the mark. Regards, Al
IRTMO (thanks Joe) when people hit the ‘send’ button before they mean to…sorry Dan, just had to!
Worse may be when people do not respond to emails when it is clear they have read them and there are time constraints involved. Their sense of urgency isn’t my sense of urgency. So it goes, I kill em with kindness when they do respond.
BTW, thanks to Dr. Al for the voice of reason in all this…but I still wanna whine! 😉
This thread has a ‘misery loves company’ feel to it. I too smiled at many of the whines, found common brothers and sisters in pain. Thanks all.
Hey Doc, someone needs to hit your send button! 😉
It really ticks me off when you’re working for a company and they want you to come in on time but don’t want you to leave on time. What the heck man, I got here when you wanted me to, why the heck can’t I leave when you have me scheduled to. That really sucks. I have other things to do!
Alyx, Thanks for jumping into the “stream.” Hope it helps
Know it alls. There are few people in this world I would view as broad based experts – most of us are not. When one is in a leadership position (or just starting out) it is important to listen, learn and appropriately value the expertise of others.
Ok, love the profile pic! looking great. Or perhaps I should complain about it?
It’s Movember. Grow a “mo” in support of Men’s Health Awareness.
I have to jump in. It ticks me off when people who do an exceptional job (sometimes the work of more than 1 person) and get treated like crap (i.e. overtime that was promised cut, hourly wage cut, more responsibilities heaped on top of more responsibilities with no compensation and a simple, “Be happy you have a job” attitude is portrayed by “those in charge”). THEN, the head of the organization, as long as he “runs the numbers” is allowed to take time off to play golf, vacation, whatever and abuse his comp time and depends on the “underlings” to carry the workload. Corporate is oblivious and just plain does not care, as long as the facility is turning a profit. Thanks for letting me rant!
Rick, you aren’t the first to point to injustice and a desire for reciprocity. Is it ok to say “cheers” on a complaining post?
It ticks me off when people say that your to old for student ministry when you are over 40!!!
what ever happened to older is wiser… :-}
Wow, lots of comments!
I’ll agree 100% with yours Dan, and add a similar one of my own.
I really don’t like when people say something can’t be done, simply because THEY haven’t figured out how to do it yet (and don’t seem interested in learning how either).
Tim,
I’m glad you dropped in… We are on the same page with that one. Trouble is, sometimes I’m the one saying it can’t be done… OUCH!
Best,
Dan
Ditto the micromanager…Not many things in life are more frustrating than to be hired for your “expertise” and then have someone micromanage every decision. Save a lot of money and hire a virtual assistant instead…
Another peeve of poor leadership…consistently assigning work totally unrelated to job duties and then critizing for poor outcomes of primary tasks. “Hey, I need that powerpoint on donuts by Friday…and don’t forget the invitations for Dan’s retirement…by the way, our fundraising numbers are way down, why aren’t you out visiting more donors?”
Whining can be fun…One of my great joys in my career was working at an organization where my sister also worked. We commuted in together and would often ask each other, “If you could say anything to anyone in the office, what would you say?” Boy, that was therapeutic…therapeutic indeed! (We were just glad the corporate vehicle wasn’t bugged).
it really ticks me off.. when I am being managed by someone who doesn’t know what I do. When I am giving goals or advice by others above me who do not understand the service that my dept provides. If they have the time to give advice and set goals they should have the time to watch and learn what my dept does.
thx Chrissy! good whine.