Face-draggers Anonymous
Mom used to say, “Stand up straight Danny.” Danny’s my given name and when I go home they still call me that.
Mom lives in Florida now and I have a problem. When I walk and think, I lower my head. Perhaps walking and thinking at the same time is dangerous but I like living on the edge. 😉
Then it hits me. My head is hanging down and I’m walking like the hunch back of Notre Dame. Sorry Mom.
Frankly, I’m lucky I’m tall. If I was short, I’d be a stumbling face-dragger, tripping over my own chin.
The cares of life, urgent needs, and deadlines weigh people down. We say things like, “Carrying a burden.” Or, “You look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders.” Beyond that, we constantly talk to ourselves with an inner voice that isn’t always affirming.
Here’s the profound lesson of the day.
Hold your head up.
Your breathing changes and you’ll feel better if you simply hold your head up. Now don’t get all cocky and hold your nose in the air. Just lift your eyes from the ground, raise your head, and breathe. It’s funny how a little change makes a big difference.
Advanced users might try throwing their shoulders back to enhance the effect. Just don’t make it too complicated. 😉
Seriously, I find holding my head up, lifts my attitude, relaxes my breathing, and helps me get back in the moment.
*****
What simple, little things can leaders do to make their day better?
Hi Dan,
You are very correct in what you say, but there’s nothing new under the sun – as the ancient Chinese well knew. Posture is very important for our well being and key element of Tai Chi… (For example see: http://www.posturepage.com/taichi/index.html). For me, success in business or life in general starts with ourselves and where better to start than with our posture? It’s so easy to change and as you say can make a big difference…
Have a great day,
Mimi
Mimi,
While writing this I thought of my Buddhist friends and yoga practitioners. As you indicate, they’ve been breathing and standing tall for centuries. 🙂
I’m thankful you joined the conversation.
Cheers,
Dan
Simple but so true. I have caught myself doing that very thing and wondering why. Habit I guess, but I realized after reading the article that it is probably my inner self that needs adjustment also!
Good Article, Dan!
Max,
Your short comment goes a long way. Thanks for sharing.
Best,
Dan
Hi Dan
Your posture will make those around you feel better too! If everyone is slumping around an office, makes for a depressing scene.
Steve
That’s a great point, Steve. Amazing how posture can make another’s day better.
Thanks Scott … I realized a few days ago that I was walking down a hallway with my head down. And I thought to myself about what message that was sending to my co-workers. So I picked my head up. It seems that Dan was reading my mind as he posted this the very next day!
Steve,
Good seeing you again Steve.
Wonderful addition to a simple point. Who would have thought that standing tall could effect others.
Don’t stay away so long next time… 🙂
Best,
Dan
Haha, you got it Dan! Rest assured, I’m reading if not always commenting. Great stuff.
Ahhhhh, that was refreshing!
I say, drink water! It gives you clarity. It is refreshing and can help to refresh you and your thoughts. It hydrates your body and that makes you look better and feel better. If you drink plenty of it, it will help keep your body cleansed and your breath fresher and people are more likely to pay attention to your powerful words and not your powerful breath! 🙂
Candice,
Oh yeah, another simple activity that makes a big difference, drink water. If overcoming bad breath isn’t a motivator, I don’t know what is.
A side benefit is you’ll have to get up more frequently to empty your bladder and getting up for a short walk makes a positive difference too.
Regards,
Dan
Hi Dan,
I find that when I lift my head and walk facing the world I make eye contact easier also. Making eye contact with people seems to make the experience more memorable and I find that I am able to remember either the conversation or more shockingly the persons name!
Mike
Mike,
Yet another benefit to lifting your head! And I was afraid I’d be laughed out of the blogosphere for such a frivolous post.
Hope to see more of you…
Cheers,
Dan
Dan (or should I say Danny?) 😉 – as I read your post I sat up straighter and looked up. I immediately felt more hopeful about the day in general. It’s an uncanny thing!
Scott,
Regarding “Danny.” When I went away to college the first time I thought I had to be a man so I told everyone I was Dan. And i became Dan. Today, many years later, Danny is just fine with me. I’ve gotten over trying to seem older…. I’m in the trying to seem younger mode now!
I’ve found the same thing… the world seems different when I lift my head. Uncanny…
Honored by your participation,
Dan
Dan,
Today you are tapping the personal side of my life — that actually connected into the professional side.
Personal: My serious “hobby” is Latin dancing. I study, compete, and practice practice practice, etc…. The effect of looking up rather than at the floor changes not only my body position and ability to do the more advanced moves — it transforms what the viewers see. (It also has health benefits in later in life if you aren’t hunched over.)
Professional: Body position (head up, shoulders back and down) — affects the view others have of us. It was confirmed one day when a speaker, sitting in one of my keynotes, came up at the end and said:
“Can you teach me to stand and move the way you do?” I was so unaware of what I had done yet the question made me realize that I was using what my dance teacher ( and your mom) said.
So leaders, head up and shoulders back and down — helps your teams to see a relaxed confident and **approachable leader who can perhaps teach them how to breathe and enjoy the dance of life. 🙂
Kate
Kate,
You really bring home the effect posture has on others. While writing this post I was thinking only of personal benefits. YOu and others opened my eyes to the “others” benefit of lifting your head.
Leaders must always be concerned about others. If they see us “face-dragging” they may think we are depressed or worried when all we are doing is thinking something over.
Let us know when the next competition is and the LF community will have to reserve a section. 🙂
Cheers,
Dan
Kate (the Latin dancer) is a featured contributor on Leadership Freak. Read her bio at http://leadershipfreak.wordpress.com/kate-nasser
What simple, little things can leaders do to make their day better?
My first thought in response to your question Dan was chocolate, but I digress….
I recently arranged for a handful of other women in business and me to meet over a meal with a business/marketing coach every 6 weeks or so, to help support each other and add more direction to our business endeavors. Our backgrounds are varied: musician, editor, artist, life coach, author, counselor, acupuncturist. Oh and me. Some are new; some have been at it a long time. We may not share the same expertise, but we share a kindred spirit. This itself, along with our discussions, has been very rewarding.
However, there is something Judith (our coach) gave us recently that for me was simply GOLD. “An hour a day, YOU FIRST.” Whatever it is that feeds your soul (even if it means getting up an hour earlier to do it) – an hour a day before you start anything else – put you first. Like our artist who also works at the courthouse – an hour a day she’s to paint first (or something else that gives her joy if she wants), before she heads off to do everything else.
Like putting on that proverbial airline oxygen mask, when you take care of yourself you’re no longer a half-empty vessel with less to give (or a casualty to others). Just like eating a meal, fulfill your needs before you start your day so you have what you need to face the challenges and be there for others the rest of the day.
Anyway, it was something I needed to hear as a mom, as a designer and as a leader.
Have a great day everyone!
~ Julia
Julia,
Your comment lifts me and I’m sure other readers. You serve, lead, and take care of others. Give yourself permission to fuel your own fire.
I’m thankful you stopped in to add value. Thanks for being a regular.
Cheers,
DAn
Dan,
Slouching is one of those non verbal queues that tell people a lot about you. Sitting or standing up straight tells other people if you are confident, specifically. It’s easy to forget this very powerful trait.
-Matt
Matt,
Again, along with others, you remind me of the power of posture to impact others.
Thank you sir.
I’m so glad to see you coming back to share insights and leave a word of encouragement.
Cheers,
Dan
This is excellent, and well said with story introduction. I recently read a memoir (not positive whose – need to verify) – where person was being counselled and told walked with head down, try looking up suggested. She had an instant mood lift!
I discovered I often do as well, when walking outside trying to make sure I don’t trip over a bump or obstacle – but it does make me more cheerful when I relax and look up.
Similarly I discovered during a short time in my life, while being a leader of a large number of people, that the team was uncharacteristically sullen each morning as I arrived. In my one on one meetings I discovered it was due to me coming in each morning – head down and looking worried. They thought for sure it was either something they had done, or there was bad news coming (layoffs). It was neither, but due to issues on my home-front at the time being dragged in with me each morning. What I was experiencing was the same shadow effect I had observed with my own children on days I felt bad – our own moods are displayed back to us. By checking our bad mood, and holding our head up high, we not only might feel happier ourselves, but also others around us feel cheerful back at us
Thanks for the reminder!
Darleen,
I always love it when people leave personal stories. Yours reminds everyone that the actions of leaders are interpreted and magnified by others. Man, that is useful!
You added value to an already valuable discussion.
Thank you,
Dan
Dear Dan,
I agree that deadlines and urgency make people down. It forces people to work harder to meet needs. Some people enjoy it. Doing things before time encourages morale and makes people more organised. And there are many things leaders can do to make their day better. I think the first and foremost thing is be right, appear right and do right. Even if you are wrong, appear right. So, it is a emotional control of feelings. Try to make your feelings better. Feeling good even in worst situation can make day better. I have a formula that I practice. Work for the best, ready to face the worst. That means, do not compare your effort with wished result. Believe on efforts and take into account circumstances. If outcome is ok , it is fine. If it is not, try harder but do not be disappointed.
I think the biggest morale motivator is our belief. When we lose it, our effort disperses. When we win it, everything integrates. So, in any situation, we should not lose heart .
Dear Ajay,
Thanks for sharing your insights. As usual you give me something to think about.
Today, I’m taking this: “Work for the best, ready to face the worst.”
Thanks for being part of the community,
Best,
Dan
Ajay is a featured contributor on Leadership Freak. Read his bio at: http:leadershipfreak.wordpress.com/ajay-gupt
Love the idea! A couple ways I’ve found to bring positivity into the day:
PHYSICAL:
Keep the chin up, and draw back the shoulders, as if you’re trying to pinch a pencil between your shoulderblades – while holding this position, take a slow breath in and out…now relax (it feels good!).
MENTAL:
Take a moment to say to yourself, “I choose to be positive today (or ‘right now’, or ‘in this meeting’, etc.).” It sounds a little cheesy, but taking that moment to consciously choose an attitude can make such a huge difference.
Tim,
Your suggestions help us get over unconsciously drifting through the day. Sometimes being intentional about simple things makes a difference.
Your suggestion doesn’t sound cheesy to me…Once in awhile say the good word to yourself.
Ooopps I just drop the pencil from between my shoulder blades. 🙂
I’m always glad to see you in the comment stream.
Happy Thursday,
DAn
That was a perfect graphic for today’s post, Dan!
The post brought to mind the advice runners get – make sure you are looking straight ahead – at where you want to be, rather than down at where you are. This is, of course, a piece of advice that holds true for other sports-related interests, such as gazing toward where you want your bowling ball to end up. I have read many good blogs about running and looking straight ahead, blogs which then extrapolate to the value of “looking ahead” in life.
I think this example could be extrapolated to leadership, too – instead of getting stuck in “why did my employee ask me so many questions?” be glad they are inquisitive and look ahead to the day when your answers will help them and your organization fulfill your vision.
Dear Dan,
Good theme and a powerful conclusion! Holding your head up will always give you the added confidence, courage and a winner’s attitude to beat competition and stay ahead with a positive mind-set.
The crux of all personality development and confidence building activities is to hold the head up and win over others. I may add that living a truthful life with values can further boost inner strengths and the same gets reflected in your gestures and body language.
All good leaders and CEOs should remain ethical in their practices and and show humility to keep their head up all the time. It’s a matter of following the right path and living with a pride.
Dear Dr, Mrunal Asher,
Excellent points. All your suggestions and thought are extremely relevant. Holding head up increases confidence, courage and attitude. I also agree that truthful life and values are foundation of all successful leaders. Stronger the foundation, stronger the personality and vice versa.
Values are somethings that are ingrained and it is the time and capacity that provide opportunity to exercise those values.
Warm Regards
Ajay
Ajay- Thanks for your encouraging remarks. While reading this meaningful post, I got reminded of Swami Vivekanand and his life-sketch. He always held high esteem with his head up with high values, knowledge and the wisdom he shared with the world. He in himself was a great philosopher and courageous to wake up the spirit of youth for inspiring them to achieve the highest goals in life with self-confidence.
I suggest that LF Community Members read any of Swami Vivekanand’s books to learn on India’s Great Leaders other than Mahatma Gandhi or his biography to get truly benefited.
Dear Dr. Mrunal Asher,
Thank you. I am follower of Swami Vivekananda and believe in his ideology. He was the person of great vision and philosophy.
We are proud of Swami Vivekananda. His speech in U.S was appreciated and applauded by Respective Americans. It is truly honor for us.
Regards
Ajay
Such a simple thing. I remember this lesson from riding horses – when you straighten and hold up your head, and breathe more easily, it visibly relaxed your horse. Perhaps doing so relaxes those who surround you, also.
I laughed when I read this Dan…I too walk with my head down and do it because I go into a zone when I walk and need to watch where I go as I don’t want to trip! Periodically I get a wake up call about how the ‘head down’ could appear and thanks for the reminder.
Re: simple little things for leaders to keep heads up: My favorite ideas are about bringing laughter and humor into our lives every day….in whatever ways people do that. I love http://www.storypeople.com and some of my clients also subscribe. They send out a great quote each day. There are other clever sites that send quotes or other things that happen to lighten things up in the simplest way.
My dad always said, “Sit up straight. Stand up straight. Be proud of yourself.” When there’s creeping self-doubt in my way, dad’s advice still helps. ~Dawn
Dan –
Be sure to send a copy of this one to your Mother; she will be proud to know that you’re sharing her pearls of wisdom with others.
Be proud and stand tall, afterall…you’re her son and she thinks you’re perfect! (can you tell I’m a mom?)
~Crystal
Crystal – I know being a mom informs so much of how I relate in the workplace – it has certainly made me look at how I communicate. Thanks for bringing that to light here in the Leadership Freak community!