Don’t Crumble From Within
He told me he’s doing things differently today. Twenty-five years ago he aggressively drove people to perform. Today he holds his tongue more, instructs and corrects less, observes longer, and judges more slowly.
The less he does the more he gets done.
The sooner you step back the sooner others step in.
Today he keeps his businesses focused on relationships with customers, being honest, and adding value. He spends more time driving the big picture. Additionally, he makes more money.
The Lid:
John Maxwell’s first law of the 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership is the Law of the Lid. The Lid is the limit of your leadership abilities.
Working harder only works for the short-term.
Furthermore, long term success is contingent on who you are. More importantly, it’s contingent on who you are becoming. Hesselbein’s statement, “Leadership is a matter of how to be not how to do,” continues ringing true.
Short-term success
You can apply leadership behaviors, techniques, and strategies to your current situation and enjoy short-term success. However, if visible behaviors don’t express invisible realities, you’ll eventually crumble from within. You may be on the short-term track if:
- You’re stressed about the opinions of others
- You’re working to please people
- You’re angry that others don’t appreciate you enough
- You’re manipulating
Long-term success
- Put yourself first so you can put others first.
- Grow others by growing yourself.
- Expand your influence by letting others influence you.
- Know less so you can know more.
My business friend is doing things differently today because he’s different. When you grow, your success grows.
Strategies and techniques matter. However, long-term success depends on personal growth and self-expression. Growing you – enables higher leadership-effectiveness.
Why don’t leaders invest in their own growth?
How can leaders grow themselves?
The good point is that the more you do something the better you get at that, and that’s natural. Additionally, I believe leading is part teaching too, and if you don’t give others the chance to express themselves your leadership will eventually be futile.
Long ago I did an assessment of strengths and weaknesses, which I revisit a couple times a year. From that I plan for three things: Improve my strengths from good to great; work on weakneses that are character flaws; look for partners to overcome weaknesses that aren’t character flaws. This is in keeping with Maxwell’s thought that we should work on strengths, not weakneses. One of my weaknesses: executing these plans poorly because all my juice goes to other people.
Outstanding list Greg! The double win would be, related to your third element to find partners doing the same three things that you are!
I like this post, but how do I help someone grow, who does not realize that he/she needs to grow, and whenever I make a comment, it is thought of as I am in a bad mood?
This is an unsolicited opinion, given in a situation where I don’t have any context (i.e., are you this person’s supervisor, etc.?). But whatever the dynamics are, something isn’t working with how the interaction is repeating itself. I think it might be helpful to share with the individual – “When I give you feedback, you respond back that I must be in a bad mood. How can we have more effective conversations?” If they don’t “realize they need to grow,” continuing to tell them how to grow is going to be met with deaf ears. Good luck!
All I can say Chris is…presentation, presentation, presentation. While what you say is important, it may be more important in how you say it…and when.
Otherwise, Paula put a general framework around your question, which does beg more questions before one can offer an observation.
This article reminds me of how important it is to take care of yourself first…as women (and mothers), we are always making sure everyone else is taken care of…the house, the husband, kids, dogs etc…However, we forget to spend time taking care of ourselves
Why don’t leaders invest in their own growth?
How can leaders grow themselves?
One thing that keeps leaders from investing in their own growth is the personal vulnerability required in almost any growth-inducing activity. It’s hard for many leaders to “let go” of their “in control” persona even if it’s causing them ulcers, other physical ailments, and damaged personal relationships. It is the “stepping back” you refer to that is so challenging.
When my son and I went ziplining recently, I must have really glossed over the word “rappel” on the brochure/website. After the fun of ziplining we came upon the 40 foot rappel. Even though we were securely clipped on to a safety line and the “rappel” was very supported, the point where you have to step off of the ledge, backwards, knowing you are 40 feet off the ground, is NOT easy. I can imagine many leaders feel the same way at the point where they can choose to step back in order for others to “step in.”
Congrats Paula! Have ziplined, but rappeled a couple of times and that first trusting lean out does fit the analogy well! That is a great mental image of what leaders need to do.
Dan,
We live in such an instant society that too many people do exactly what you said: “if visible behaviors don’t express invisible realities, you’ll eventually crumble from within”
Your 4 points were right on the mark, especially growing ourself. We have so much more to give if we’re full ourselves.
Connie
Instead of “driving the big picture” maybe it could be mapping the big picture Dan, as that ‘new’ old leader lets others drive because he let go.
Why don’t leaders self-invest…doubt that it is a Puritan work ethic, but there might be a little of that. Likely, how the leader got to leader was one process that somehow got stuck in ‘lather, rinse, repeat’ because it sort of worked okay for a long time. Even with a long range vision, they don’t see that their role can evolve.
As far as how to grow, commit/lock in time for it. Have a level of commitment equal to (or exceeding) what they expect of others. Probably should be exceeding. Verbalize it to others, that you want to value growth/learning highly and seek suggestions from those you lead. Ask those you serve, how you can learn more…and keep asking because the first few times people will look at you like you are from another planet.
By putting yourself first you build your own confidence and self-belief. This in turn enables you to develop greater confidence in those around you. By automatically valuing the opinions of others above your own, you are putting the cart before the horse.
Dear Dan,
I absolutely agree that one should not be disturbed or perturbed by others comment, criticism or manipulation once you have long term goal. So, when we have long term goals, we have to face circumstances that will stop or prevent you. I think why leaders do not invest in their own growth because they compare with external factors. It means they measure their success in terms of monetary achievement, market share and comparatively better result. As long as we are driven by external factors, we compromise so many things to achieve that goals. But when we compare our inner strenght in term of development, then usually we see long term goals. It means meaning of success for short term and long term goal to leaders is different. And that meaning of success makes all the focus changed.
The simple way, how leaders can grow themselves is to increase their values by looking inward, focus on means to achieve outcomes, respect people, create trust, be the person of integrity.
You need to become change first the change you want to see in others.
If I could write as well as Dan Rockwell, then I would say what is in this blog. Growing others is about growing yourself. I too often see leaders who want to invest in others without investing in themselves. That success is short term. It takes courage and time to grow, but it beats remaining stagnant. Thanks, Dan, nice work.
Jim
It is always amazing, that smart people begin articles with the word, “Don’t.”
Everybody knows that the way our brain works is to Do the very thing you say “Don’t” to.
“Johnny, don’t run into the street.”
Guess how Johnny’s brain works?
Yep. “Johnny, do run into the street, don’t.”
Tom
Wonderful example Tom…too funny and too true!
Your article touches some good points. Your question though about “Why don’t leaders invest in their own growth?” is simply answered true leaders do. I really relate with the statement that “Know less so you can know more” is so true or stated in other places as exchange your “I know” to what else can I know and you will find how many new things you can learn. I do know that what your article reminded me most of was that I have to stop worrying about how much others appreciate me and remember really why I do it – it is for God’s glory and not my own. Thanks for taking the time to remind us of this truths.
The short term success points are food for thought and I hope the caution is clear enough for all to pick up. They are heavily centered around the Ego and easy to miss when you are in that “victim mode”. We never stop learning so in theory we should continually grow. It is when we think we have it all figured out that we can become self centered and implode!
As I read your post, the instructions that you are given on an airplane before take-off came to mind, “…put the oxygen mask on yourself first, before helping others.” You are completely useless to the ones around you if you can’t breathe yourself! The same is true with leadership. It is impossible for you to lead, coach, or help others to grow if you are not investing in yourself.
Why don’t leaders invest in their own growth? Fear and ignorance.
Fear: Some leaders mistake their call to leadership as a bestowment of the title of “Expert”. While for some this may be the case, even experts continue to educate themselves and are driven by a thirst for knowledge. There are leaders who FEAR that they will lose credibility of they acknowledge that they don’t know everything. As an employer, I not only hire you for who you are, but for what you can become. Stagnant leadership means stagnant organizational growth.
Ignorance: I have come to realize that some people do and say things because they simply don’t know any better. We live with the philosophy “if it’s not broke, don’t fix it.” IGNORANCE. To be an effective leader you must position yourself to grow, expand and shape shift. If you are the same leader today as you were a year ago, you are doing something wrong. Or as this post suggests: you are doing nothing at all. You must grow to lead.
Great post as usual.