People that know me best compliment me least and people that know me least compliment me most.
Some compliments aren’t sincere. They’re flattery. A compliment is flattery when it’s designed to manipulate us. Flattery puffs us up so others can bring us down and elevate themselves.
It’s strange thinking that my long-term friends might complement me as profusely as new acquaintances. Long-termers know my unattractive side. They’ve seen me lose my temper or forget to follow through. It’s easy to compliment someone we don’t know when their warts and weaknesses haven’t emerged.
Putting our best foot forward is probably a good thing. It gives us a chance to create bonds before we push each other away. But persistently putting our best foot forward hinders vibrant life-sustaining connections.
Letting others see our frailties:
Some people dare us to like them by spot-lighting their weaknesses. Don’t dare people to like you. Don’t ask them to prove your worth before they know you. Give them a chance; give yourself a chance.
I believe our frailties and failures make us. Share weaknesses that are becoming strengths. On the other hand, frailties that currently defeat us are best shared with people that know and love us.
Share the process of growth that began with inability and ends with ability. We encourage others when we don’t wallow but emerge.
If you don’t share your frailties, you end up empty and even more frail and so do those around you.
How and when do you share your frailties and failures?