The Power of Accidents
***Danger! This post is 400 words. Danger***
Incompetence makes you push challenges away. Inadequacy causes you to pull back. “Not good enough” (perfectionism) is the reason you don’t start.
I’ve been putting off this post for a few days because I feel incompetent and inadequate to write it. I can’t write it good enough.
Radical Change:
Life radically changed on Nov. 20, 2011 when I lay bleeding, bruised, and broken in dried leaves after a car accident. I don’t remember what happened to cause the accident but I remember what the accident caused.
People rose up in support of my family and me. This inadequate note is for my online friends; people I’ve never met face to face who reached out to us with generous compassion.
A Trio:
A trio of people led the way, Becky Robinson, Jesse Lyn Stoner, and Lolly Daskal. The first phone message I heard was from Becky, “Are you ok? We care for you. What can we do?” There were more conversations, cards, and emails from them and many others.
Others:
Mike Henry Sr. and the Lead Change Group joined Lolly, Jesse, and Becky by providing a channel for financial contributions to cover uninsured costs.
Jesse, Lolly, and Becky posted articles, along with many others. Contributions ranging from $5.00 to $5,000 started coming in, nearly $20,000 in all. It’s overwhelming. Many of you leveraged your influence on our behalf. People from around the world participated. I wish I could list everyone.
It’s 6:50 a.m. The sun is peaking over the cold mountains in central Pennsylvania. Once again, I’m warmed and teary eyed thinking about the outpouring of love and support that fills our hearts.
Impact:
You change me. You’re teaching me about compassion, initiative, and doing what you can to make a difference. Great stories make us great; this is a story I’ll tell my grandchildren.
I feel honored and I honor you. I’m privileged to receive your love.
Thank you.
Update:
I’m getting better; still using a walker and wheelchair. But, I’m improving. Indications are a full recovery is possible. They tell me it takes about six months. Two down; four to go. The words are patience and obedience (do everything the doctors say).
There’s a bit more information on my accident on this article I wrote from a hospital bed: “The Reason I haven’t Posted in a Week.” (warning: it’s poorly written)
Keep your chin up ….. we all still here in the invisible atmosphere, hope that is crystal clear 😉
Thank you Imelda. It is crystal clear. What a joy.
Hi Dan
Wishing you a fast and full recovery. My prayers would be with you.
God Bless.
Shakti
Thank you Shakti. I’m thankful for your prayers.
Dan, my grandpa said that it’s in the hard times you find out how well you lived. He often pointed out that bitter, mean people suffer alone, but that good people in trouble draw a crowd.
The response to your accident is a testament to how selflessly you’ve provided value to all of us. A little money and some heart-felt well-wishes don’t seem like much in comparison. From where I stand, the books are far from balanced, my friend, and the debt is on our side.
Greg,
I guess we’ll have to try and out-do each other with gratitude.
Your comment is eloquent and humbling.
Thank you for all you do for me and the LF community.
Gratefully,
Dan
To quote the famous Blog Bard, D. Rockwell..
Ka-Ching Greg!
Hang tough, Dan. Thanks for continuing to share your journey and your learnings with us.
Chris
Hi Alexander,
Thank you for taking a moment to encourage me. You matter.
Cheers,
Dan
Get well soon Dan. Stay strong.
Thank you Niaz! Best wishes, Dan
You enrich our lives in more ways than you know, Dan. Hang tough!
Martina
And you enrich me Marina…best success in all your endeavors. Dan
Good luck to you. I will share that 21 years ago something happened to me that I thought was the worst thing that could happen – I had a child who would never be able to fend for herself. I thought that child would be an anchor for the rest of my life. And, turns out, she is. She anchors me in every positive way. She is the singular best thing that God has given me.
I hope your trauma turns out as well.
Katrina
ohhhh, I just love that 😉 beautiful ….. the love for someone special does have a way of doing that to a person ….. we only ever get what we can effectively learn, grow from and share …..
Very cool Katrina, our kids teach us to re-appreciate so much and speaking of kiddos, just yesterday saw a brief youtube video on Carly Fleischmann. Dan is all about shifting perspectives, this will do that…
Thanks for the video Doc. Awesome!
Video leaves me speechless and in awe. We really don’t appreciate how blessed we are.
You are a blessing to me and us. I continue to pray for your wonderous recovery!
Marcye
Hi Marcye,
Thank you for your prayers. You are a blessing to me.
Cheers,
Dan
It’s when we share our story that depth and breadth is added to our words. Knowing this history (I’m fairly new to this community and was unaware of this moment for you) brings an even greater respect to your leadership and investment here in cyberspace. As you know it is often our hardest and most painful moments that create some of the deepest lessons. I’m believing with others here and with you for great things to arise from your perseverance and full recovery. Thanks for your honesty and investment (even if it is 400 words). I also will be in prayer for you. God’s Speed, Dave
Hi Dave,
You are so right. Success solidifies who we are. Adversity and failure changes us.
Thank you for your kind words, prayers, and participation in LF. Who knows what good may come.
Best,
Dan
Speedy recovery to you!
Thank you Karen.
Dan you are inspirational in your own hours of need. I hope your mending continues speedily along.
Lucille, Thanks for taking a moment to encourage me. Cheers, Dan
Dan –
The qualities of humility and authentic gratitude are in short supply in our leaders today. Thanks for showing us what they look like in real time.
Very best wishes to you. Have courage!
M
Michael,
You comment hit me like a ton of bricks. Very powerful and kind.
Thank you,
Dan
I’m mortified that I somehow missed this news, but as of this moment, my thoughts and prayers are with you too! You’re such an inspirational man. Thank you for sharing your wisdom!
Catherine,
Thanks for caring and taking a moment to let me know.
Best to you,
Dan
Reblogged this on Attendance Please and commented:
This will teach me to read the blogs I follow more closely. Not only is this guy cool, he’s cool from a wheel chair! Hope he keeps up the good work…awesome kid image too 🙂
Thanks Kate. Now if I can just get “awesome” walking on two feet! Cheers, Dan
Dan,
“YOU MATTER” that is the message I say to people every day.
I believe we each have to walk our talk and if I am going to tell people they matter. I have to show them by my actions that they matter.
When we say….. YOU MATTER it means…
YOU MATTER is showing support.
YOU MATTER means using your influence to help others
YOU MATTER is making a difference in a quiet way for someone who needs you.
YOU MATTER is getting a community (twitter) to come together for a man who matters to us.
Dan, YOU MATTER to me and to so many.
A special thanks to Jesse, Mike and Becky what they did is beyond miraculous. They were gracious, thoughtful, and beautiful beyond any words can express.
The goal was set and the dedication was profound.
Speedy Recovery….my friend……. one step at a time…You matter!
Lolly Daskal
Lead From WIthin
Hi Lolly,
You matter when you make others matter. 🙂
I’ve learned from you. Been challenged by you. And now, I’m the recipient of your compassion. Thank you.
You are a force to be reckoned with.
I love how mission pulled Jesse, Becky, and you together to make a difference.
You have my heartfelt thanks for giving your energy and using your influence to enhance my well being.
You know how to lead from within,
Dan
Dan,
Although I’ve never met you personally and I’ve only known you through your blogs for a few short months, I feel as if I’ve known you for years.
Your generosity to share the knowledge you gain is inspiring and contagious and like many of your other readers and supporters, I also think you inspire, direct, and challenge us to be more.
Keep up the great work you do and remember charity is another word for LOVE.
I wish you a speedy recovery and also have you and your family in my prayers.
Thanks for your prayers “ten.”
Your comment reflects my personal dream.
I had a coaching session with my coach, Bob Hancox today. During the session I clarified my own dream for myself.
I dream that when people see me they will think that’s the guy that helped make my life better.
I appreciate your encouragement,
Dan
Becky, Lolly, & Jesse are powerful people individually – together, they are a tidal wave of love & grace for those they love!
I’m so grateful for your steady healing, my man.
Cheers!
C.
Chris,
You totally rock. I love your wisdom. Thanks for providing a guest post while I was running at 1/2 speed.
And you are right. Becky, Lolly, and Jesse know how to make things happen.
You have my appreciation,
Dan
Sounds like you will physically heal in good form and having friends and family has, and will, continue to be part of your overall recovery. In this you are indeed fortunate. Being a relative newbie to your blog I’ve not been as immersed in your posts as the others here, but I am a fellow human being (last I checked) and I’ve been down a similar emotional road following an accident. In my case my slight of attention resulted in the death of a close relative (I sincerely hope your accident didn’t involve the injury or death of others). Likely you have already felt, or will feel, certain emotional changes as a result of your experience… especially if you’ve had a relatively traumatic physical recovery, which it sounds like you’ve had. You are also fortunate in that you can express yourself in written form very effectively… and your blog topic of leadership and self-improvement will also feed your own recovery to press on.
As I said, it sounds like your healing is well under way, albeit perhaps a slow process. I hope your recovery is 100% and any physical pain is minimal. But I also wish you well as you emotionally adapt to the experience. Sometimes life tosses us some crap that we can turn into something positive; a new outlook on life and living, or a new perspective on everything around you. Embrace that as it will be a part of you for the rest of your life. Let it be part of the words you say and write. Most of all, communicate to someone how you feel as you transition to a “new” normalcy in life.
Ok.. enough of the “wise & sage” stuff. From one human being to another who had a similar bump in the road.. hang in there… the rest of your life is ahead of you. I wish you well.
Doug,
Thank you for sharing your story. It’s powerful. I’ve been thankful over and over that I was the only one involved in the crash. No other cars and no other people.
I crashed on a beautiful Sunday morning driving on a road I drove every day…
You are right. There is an emotional side to this, both for me and my family. We find that feelings continue to bubble up. Sometimes fears emerge from no where. Other times, my wife and I tear up because we still have each other.
Then of course there are the emotions connected with all the encouragement I feel from my online friends.
You honor me with your story. You have my best wishes.
Thank you,
Dan
Dan, thanks for being who you are.
Jim
PS: Remember, learn to love your therapist. Your recovery will be much faster.
Hi Jim,
I think “learn” is the operative word. 🙂
Thank you for being one of the long-term readers and commenters on Leadership Freak.
Hope you are well,
Dan
Dan,
You know what I appreciate most about this post? It shows that when love is poured on you and received, it fills you to overflowing…and it flows right back outward. Such a beautiful cycle this is.
I know I’m grateful for our leadership community and all who contribute to it in so many ways. You’re an important part of that, and I’m glad you had the opportunity to see, and perhaps more fully understand, how important and appreciated your voice is.
Mike Henry started something amazing, didn’t he? Becky, Jesse and Lolly – thank you for leading this effort for Dan as well.
Follow doctor’s orders, Dan, and keep the recovery moving quickly, my friend.
Erin
Erin,
I was a six month baby to blogging when I talked to Mike Henry the summer of 2010. He is a generous, passionate soul. Thanks for giving him a shout out.
Isn’t it exciting that we can fuel each others fires…that fueling others is part of adding logs to our own fire. (not selfishly of course)
Thank you for taking time to leave a comment. I respect what you are doing for others.
Thank you for your kindness,
Dan
Dan –
I don’t know how I missed hearing about your accident! I just saw Becky’s post linking to this article and am just incredulous that I didn’t know what you’ve been going through.
The whole VIBCO team and the Lean Nation are sending you thoughts, prayers, and well-wishes for a smooth and speedy recovery… we want to help… what do you need???
Best,
Linda
Hi Linda,
So great to see you here. Lean Nation rocks!
Hmmm, what do I need… a pink Cadillac? Oh, that’s Mary Kay.
What I need is patience.
Thanks for taking a moment to say high and offer encouragement. I appreciate it. Hope to see you at World Business Forum in NYC this year.
Best,
Dan
You receive in your life what you give out. Look what you’ve been giving out! Heartwarming comments from you and your friends. Speedy recovery Dan.
Chistinapd,
Actually, I think I’m receiving way more than I’ve given out.. 🙂 Thank you for a kind word. It matters.
Cheers,
Dan
What if there are no such thing as accidents? What if I don’t believe I accidentally stumbled upon your blog just a few weeks before your accident? What if I don’t believe your accident was, well, accidental? What if your wisdom, your strength, your leadership was meant to inspire enough people to make this story truly phenomenal?
I believe we live in a time and space with the tools we have for a purpose that is anything but accidental. You are an inspiration…you were before your accident, but even more powerfully since. Gratitude travels in circles, and I am grateful to have been even a small part of sharing your story…retelling it continues to give strength to those who need it.
Accidents only have positive power, when the right people are involved. What a testament to you that you have attracted so many powerfully positive people into your life. It’s absolutely no accident!
MMF
Megan,
I don’t believe in accidents. I do believe life has purpose. Thanks for eloquently reminding all of us… You write so well.
Thank you for being part of the LF community…. for sharing your insights…encouraging others…and coming back day after day.
Thank you for your kindness,
Dan
Humility is beautiful. I respect you. Thank you!
Wow..simple and powerful. Thank you!
Dan
Glad to hear that you are mending, although i know it’s got to be slower than you would like.
Had to smile at your last line – I read that post and many others by you over the years and have yet to see anything that remotely resembles “poorly written”.
Heal quickly and completely ~ glad you are still on the planet.
John
Hi John,
I’m definitely glad to be on the planet! 🙂
Thank you for being a long time reader and encourager.
Re: slower than you would like… Yup! But, I’m thankful I am able to make progress.
Thank you for your kind words.
Best to you,
Dan
I look forward everyday to your post. I look forward to reading what your experience has taught you. Thanks for the wisdom you pass on to us. May your recovery come quick!
Best regards – Jorge
Jorge,
You life me…thank you. And thank you for your well-wishes.
Success to you,
Dan
Dear Dan,
I wish your early recovery. May God heal your pain and bring back pleasure and happiness in your life. Pain is the part of life, we should bear it happily. These moments actually realise many things that we perhaps had never thought about. We also become more humble and down to earth. So, I believe, When God bless us with happiness, we should be grateful, and when he bless us with sorrow or pain, we should again grateful.
I firmly believe that we can make ideas, make effort but there are many things that we can not control in our lives. I seems that destiny is decided. However, I believe that well wishes and blessing always work.
I have my well wishes for you.
Dear Ajay,
You philosopher you…. gratitude makes life rich. I’m grateful for you so you are making me rich. 🙂
Thanks for all you do for me and the LF community.
Best,
Dan
So glad you are doing better! Believing with you for a full recovery! Give us an update on your future needs. Want to contribute on some level. U have contributed to ALL of US!
Pastor Tom
Thomas,
I’m learning that people care, that they rise up without being asked, that I have a responsibility to honor their compassion. Your comment reminds me of what I am learning.
I’ll definitely keep everyone updated on the major milestones.
Thank you for you kindness,
Best,
Dan
Hi, Dan. No words of wisdom – just a question. Can we still contribute towards the medical expenses?
Hi Deidre,
You are very kind to offer. If you’d like to participate, send me an email and I’ll send you my address. dan (at) leadershipfreak.com
Please understand that I work from home and don’t want to publicize my address.
You have my best wishes,
Dan
I am just getting to know you Dan and so enjoying your posts! And it seems you are not named Rockwell for nothing. You are a rock for so many who all want to see you well again!(corny perhaps, but words can be powerful) Healing karma your way:)
Hi Helen,
I hadn’t thought of my name as indicating anything solid. I thought of it as creating a hole in the ground lined with rocks.. 🙂
Thanks for lifting me.
Best to you,
Dan
Dan,
You are amazing! Keep doing what you are doing, it is inspiring so many people.
Thank You!
A good word is a good thing. Thank you Jenny.
Dan,
Thank you for sharing your story! Stay strong and keep moving forward! Your accident is facilitating significant, powerful, amazing, transformational events in not only your life but facilitating change for others as well. No, your life will never be the same as before the accident! Your life can now expand beyond previous limitations because your brain and life experience has expanded and can now exceed previous expectations!
It was amazing to read the outpoaring of unconditional love and support for you since your post yesterday! It was an honor to witness!
God speed on your recovery!
The best is yet to come!
Beth Taylor
Hi Beth,
You are right on. My life has changed and continues to change…in some cases, I don’t even notice but others do… 🙂
I’m with you, the story of people reaching out is fantastic. I wish I could find words to express how I feel.
Thanks for helping me say thank you..
Best,
Dan
And you change us, Dan, by sharing of who you are. Heal quickly, but not so quickly that you miss all of those wonderful things we learn in adversity…the most important likely being how we are cared for and loved. It is overwhelming and humbling. Sounds like you are learning those lessons!
Best…Jim
Jim,
I sense the wisdom of experience behind your words.
Letting people serve me and receiving love was the first hurtle I encountered. I’m comfortable giving love.
Once in awhile, to remind myself and show appreciation to others I say, “I love being loved” 🙂
You have my regards,
Dan
Hi Dan,
Best of luck! Have been reading your blog for a long time and greatly benefitted. It energizes the entire day.
Dan, It has meant a lot to me to be able to help. The privilege of helping a friend is a gift that goes both ways. Lolly, Becky and I set up a structure and put out messages, but the community that formed and the support that arose was amazing. What was accomplished is a tribute to you and all of those who respect and care about you, and speaks volumes to the power of social media to do good. Blessings. Jesse
Wishing you fast and full recovery, Dan
Keep going with the flow, Dan. Kick back and relax, keep appreciating and enjoy the journey! You’ll be completely healed in no time. I appreciate you and all of your wise words.