Letting People Go with Transparency and Dignity
Never make enemies of people you “let go,” if you can help it.
“Every person who leaves goes on to represent your company. They can bad-mouth or praise.” Jack Welch
One wise business owner told me, “Sometimes I’m closer to people after I fire them than before.”
Turning bad to good:
- Never humiliate. Ask, “Is this how I’d like to be treated if I was let go?”
- Generous severance.
- Placement. Explore their strengths and help them find another position.
- Encourage. Being let go can be traumatic; express compassion.
- Stay in touch. The silent treatment costs you more than continued contact. Send emails, birthday cards, call to see how things are. Treating people like lepers makes your organization look like a leper colony.
Crimes, ethics, and other sticky situations:
Letting someone go for dishonesty is different from letting them go for poor performance. Ethics violations are quicker and easier, performance issues are long painful affairs.
Tell your organization the reasons. Here’s why:
- If you don’t tell your organization, they’ll make things up.
- Uncertainty and speculation drain energy and stall momentum.
- Enforcing high standards lifts everyone’s game; it makes you better. When they realize “John” was let go for lying to customers, you reinforce honesty.
The way you fire says more about you than the way you hire. Always act in the best interests of your organization and those you let go.
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How can leaders improve the firing process?
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I think the most telling statement is that how we dismiss people, says a lot about us. It also likely reflects how we tend to treat and value people in general.
It is so important as managers and leaders to project the behavior we want to see in others. If we have integrity, then so should the people we work with every day.
If we want respect, then we need to show it to others, all the time and in every situation.
Martina
@martinamcgowan
Hi Martina,
Here’s another question to ask. “Do you want me to treat you the way you’re treating me?” It’s not a perfect question but hopefully it points back to do what’s best for everyone, even if it means you let someone go.
Thank you for jump starting today’s conversation and caring enough to share your thoughts.
Best regards,
Dan
In addtion to the firing issue, I think we reveal our authentic selves in the way we act when a valued employee accepts another position. That can also feel like quite a rejection in the reverse fashion.
However, we have to want for people what they want for themselves. I have many valued, long term relationships, with people who left to go on to accept what they perceived to be better positions for themselves. That only happens if you can handle your own sense of rejection with grace and care for others as much as your organization.
Dauna Easley
Great point, Dauna. I lose a lot of plant workers to other departments in the company, and it can be hard not to see it as betrayal. You’re exactly right that that is a self-centered feeling, and leaders have to want what’s best for their people.
Thanks for the reminder Dauna. I always told my staff that we were training/preparing people for their next job. Whether that job was with us in another capacity, or they went somewhere else, by having their best interest at heart we served our needs and created an ambassador for our company when they left.
Dauna,
You make me think of two important terms, betrayal and bitterness.
The situation you describe is emotion packed. The danger of emotion is it can motivate short sighted behaviors.
If we aren’t careful we get the idea that it’s better to NOT develop people.
Thank yo for sharing your insights. You bring a lot to the conversation.
Best,
Dan
Dear Dan,
I will share one incidence where the person hired twenty days back was asked to put up his paper. The way he was asked was shocking and dramatic. One morning, his boss rebuked with all allegations, and told harshly to put up paper immediately. When employee inquired about the reason, he said: the things are not in his hand. Now the question comes about moral trauma cased to sacked employee. He will also carry the image that can potentially damage the reputation of the organization. in such cases, who suffers? the person who fires, who is fired or the organization. I think it is the organization that suffers. so, organization should create a mechanism where people are explained the condition where they are fired or retrenched.
Leaders can improve firing process by two ways. First they should make their recruitment mechanism so effective that people are not excess, even in case of unforeseen circumstances. Even if they are excess, they should be engaged somewhere perhaps on lower cost for time being. the other way is to provide them time and resources to find place somewhere. You need to concern about the person laid off.
But there are circumstances when people on the top fire others to keep their position safe. If this is the case, time will fire them. So, intention to fire employees plays great role either to build or destroy the organization.
Dear Ajay,
Thanks for a powerful and sad story.
You bring up the nasty issue of upper level people sacrificing others to protect their turf. I’ve seen plenty of that and I bet other readers have.
I know a business man who sat down with the team to discuss cut backs. He asked them how they wanted to deal with it. Lay the low man off or everyone take a cut. They opted for everyone to take a cut. Transparency and candor worked for him.
Thank you for dropping in everyday to offer helpful insights. I appreciate it.
Best,
Dan
No match to a practical experience, fire if duties are not full filled,
the employer have no problem.
Hired not required leads to fire, mismanagement of hr.
Thanks for joining in… I hope you come back again.. cheers, Dan
When you fire people, you can’t be courteous. There is no need of remaining too humble with poor performers.People generally leave in bitterness and there is no way one can keep them happy
Remaining transparent and having a dialogue protecting the individual well-being and remaining empathetic are good ways to protect the organization’s long-term interest.However,this has to be done by a neutral person like Department Head but certainly not an immediate boss or HR person.
Showing last minute courtesy will not heal the wounds of conflicts that usually happen and damage the working spirit.
Dr. Asher,
They say genius is the ability to think otherwise. In this case you think other wise from me. I respect your genius.
I’m thankful you share your thoughts and perspective.
Respectfully,
Dan
Dr Mrunal-
Interesting. I don’t think we are talking about “last minute” courtesy. If there hasn’t been courtesy and mutual respect in the relationship up until this point, it would be useless and senseless to try to gloss over things over with false humility and friendliness.
People are unhappy when they leave usually. But there is a difference between being unhappy and being vengeful.
Poor performers cannot and should not be excused. There must be systems in place to evaluate people and show them where they are lacking, what is expected of them for imrpovement, the tools to improve, and by what date.
If someone is a poor performer they should be aware of it long before the hammer drops for the last time.
But we still don’t have to leave people stripped naked in public of all their dignity when it is time to let them go.
Just a thought.
I agree and appreciate your view points as expressed in the end.
Employee must be ready to be fired and accept the rule Boss is always right.
In my 30 years professional carrier i was never fired, On joining any organisation i use to inform after achieving your target i will leave, as there would be nothing much for me to do.
So people who are fired must not be full filling their part-___
Or the employer have financial problem.
Never go where you are not required /
Dear Brahaman,
I liked your statement with a modification, ‘Never stay where you are not required/respected’. You shall realize this and at times get early signals despite your remaining good and performing well. The best thing would be to leave the organization once dissatisfied and the work environment becomes non- conducive.
Definitely time to go when you aren’t respected. Don’t wait to get fired. Thanks for extending the conversation. Best, Dan
I’m not sure that the boss is always right at all. They may have the power to make such decisions and that doesn’t mean they are right always.
Well said. Practical things are much different. Wise thinking and advice are all good if you want to save your job and you adopt to a compromised behavior while dealing with incompetent, insecure or unreasonable boss.
Otherwise, your self-respect and the inner heart will always find it difficult to adjust with an unreasonable boss. You will become just a yes-man if you follow the belief that the boss is always right. The statement is more in a lighter sense.
If the Boss can afford the losses by applying Boss is always right policy ,let him be happy , at the end he is the losser,
He will be no boss in short time, I have practically experienced three bosses like that, Joint corporations exists no more because of boss is always right policy.
Regards
WAD.S.G
Consultant P&D.
Good morning Dan. This for me is a touchy subject. We go through great lengths during the hiring process to try to “get it right.” We have an intense “on-boarding” process. We assign both a department mentor and non-department “liaison” and do 3,6,12, month evaluations. We have three different “layers” of interviewers starting with a robust screening process by our full time recruiter. I am detailing the process so you can understand why when we have to let someone go I consider it to be a failure of both parties: the individual hired and the organization. We also have a review by all interviewers after someone is let go to examine and analyze our process and are constantly tweaking it. We don’t like the word “fired” and truthfully we have never technically fired anyone because we sit down with the candidate and offer them an opportunity to resign which uniformly they all do. When asked why a person is no longer with the organization we always say that either it was for family and personal reasons or that the cultural fit was not right for either party. Dr. Cosgrove CEO of the Cleveland Clinic always says and I believe him that we can train skills, even model values, but attitude is personal and intimate to the person and the most important determinant for a cultural fit. Our attrition rate is less than 2% but it has taken us many years to fine tune our process. We usually part on good terms so much so that it is not uncommon for us to be listed as a reference to be called upon by a prospective employer. Just because a person does not fit with one’s organization does not mean he/she would not do great elsewhere. Of course the essential attributes which apply to all walks of life such as honesty, trustworthiness etc are usually not in question. As I recently read, “attitude and work ethic will always trump lazy and unscrupulous talent.” We believe that everyone that makes it through our “door” comes with the sincere intent of staying for life and becoming an “owner” and not just a “renter.” Cheers 🙂
Al, I agree that in most cases when an employee doesn’t work out, some and often most of the failure lies with the organization, usually with his supervisor and manager. Even terminations for cause are usually good people caught in a weak moment or whose judgment lapses under pressure. In those cases, there are usually things a good boss could have done to know what was going on with the employee, and to help honest people stay honest.
Al,
KaPow…KaChing. I absolutely love your comment. You give a lesson to anyone about an organizations approach to people.
Frankly, as the months and years have passed, I’ve come to look forward to your insights and wisdom.
Your comment is one for the books.
I’m thankful for you,
Dan
An incredibly refreshing viewpoint and reflective of the culture you have been building. I am often asked to coach ‘bad’ or ineffective managers, and it’s a tough job trying to help the organization see and take responsibility for their part, which is usually tied to their process for assessing fit and a paucity of effective communication that deals with honest and direct expectations, clear feedback and constructive coaching / mentoring with targets. Whether it’s hiring, promotion or a lateral move, success is very much tied to the insightful processes and deep understanding of obligation that you describe on the part of the organization. Thank you for articulating this.
thank you all for your kind words of encouragement. We are constantly learning and trying to do better and participating in the LF community creates a platform of growth and provides diversity and innovative ideas with a wealth of information. 🙂
Your posts are valuable tools – great !
Thank you
It costs you nothing to treat people courteously, no matter their behavior or your feelings for them. There is something in every individual worthy of respect, and there are pragmatic reasons for being respectful as well.
I recently had two individuals I had fired seek me out and thank me – both contacted me around Christmas. One thanked me for getting his attention when he was heading down a self-destructive path (he was involved with the wife of a co-worker, using his work e-mail.) The other, who was fired for cheating the time clock, thanked me for treating him respectfully. When we announced his departure, we emphasized the contributions he had made over the years and asked people to remember him for those instead of the mistake he made at the end.
Key in both cases: We focused at the time strictly on their actions and the outcomes, comparing them to written policies and not personal value judgments. Not one comment was made about their character or them personally.
Good reasons to do it that way: The young man who was involved with a co-worker’s wife married the daughter of a friend. And I talk to the other man’s wife regularly – she runs the distribution center of our biggest customer. In both cases, the people I fired are in a position to impact my reputation with people I care about.
Greg, your last statement is the most powerful, and worth remembering. “…the people I fired are in a position to impact my reputation with people I care about.” So true. Also appreciated the distinction between actions/outcomes and not their personal value. I think it is easy to blur the lines when we take personally whatever the other party has done/not done. Everyone has value. It just may not be in what they are doing or where.
Greg,
Jim rightly points out your last statement. I love your first statement. What do we accomplish by stripping people of dignity, destroying relationships, and using authority when humanity works.
Your advise to focus on actions balances an emotional situation. Love it!
I’m so impressed with your insights. Thank you for sharing your story. You make us better.
Thankfully,
Dan
The importance of the topic of this post became very real for me in the last year. We chose to let go of an employee who had worked for us for more the eight years without ever receiving a promotion. We came to the conclusion that the employee was not ever going to improve beyond the current level. The problem was that we know the employee really liked working for us and was unlikely to leave on their own. At that point we made the decision to terminate the employee for the benefit of everyone involved.
During the meeting the employee was told that due the length of service and the loyalty shown the employee would not be escorted from the building. We also let the employee know that we would not prohibit the employee from saying to goodbye or speaking to other employees. The employee waited until all the other company members left for the day before removing their personal effects. That employee then came to my office and thanked me.
That former employee now works for a regulatory agency that has a great deal of impact on the daily lives of many of my customers. The former employee was hired because of the training received from us. The former employee and I have a good relationship because of the way we chose to terminate the employee/employer relationship. Be careful how you treat those leaving because you never know when they will impact your business again.
Bonnie,
If this isn’t a lesson in the importance of transparency and dignity, I don’t know what is.
It’s my hope that young and emerging leaders read your story and realize how everyone is helped when we consistently seek whats best for others and the organization.
You are such a great addition to the family of contributors that return day after day.
Thank you kindly,
Dan
Very interesting – and true – post! I once heard the same message at a big marketing presentation about customer service, and couldn’t agree more! Regardless of the circumstance, one should always treat others with respect and courteous behaviour. Human nature suggests that we will warn others of our bad experiences more than share our good. Look at TripAdvisor for an example – every year I have a work conference at the Chateau Montebello (Quebec) and I can’t wait – it is my favourite meeting and destination. This year, out of curiosity, I looked them up, and the reports were not good!!! Why – only the disgruntled took the time to complain. Sad really – I will have to wait til November, but I will gladly book myself back in to the conference – can’t wait for the weekend meeting at the Chateau! Why would it be any different when someone is laid off from a company – they too may now be disgruntled, especially if not handled with respect and dignity!
it seems there may be a distinction between being let go and being fired. Termination generically often covers both.
Being let go can cover a gamut, from poor performance, to poor supervision, to poor organizational resource planning/allocation, to poor economic situation and/or poor training-Al called it failure of both parties, makes a lot of sense. When you look at direct and indirect costs of termination and replacement hiring/training, each position can be in the tens of thousands of dollars and more if there are litigious issues added in the mix.
Being fired often more succinctly refers to performance issues (not always). There can be secondary contributory issues such as training not sticking, unnecessary personal drama, etc.
My two take aways from the comments here are:
1) No matter how the ending occurs, be specific and consistently take the high road.
2) To paraphrase the Dolores O’Riordan song, Accept Things, “the people you meet on the way up, are the people you meet on the way down”. Once connected, always connected and you have a partial role in the color of the past/future connection.
Hi Doc,
Thanks for the O’Riordan quote. It’s so true. You never know who or what is around the corner. It’s a small world and it’s shrinking all the time.
It’s not unusual for me to make direct statements concerning broad topics. I think it opens the door for conversation.
I’m thankful you step in to bring specificity.
As always, you have my best,
Dan
I recently had an experience on the “firing” side of things. I work for a large agency as a temporary employee & had applied & been offered a full time job. Two days before my 3 month probation ended I was terminated! I thought I was going into a meeting to review my probation experience and get a raise, instead I was met by my supervisor & a person from personnel with a letter. When I read the letter they had prepared I was totally dumbfounded – they were saying things about me so far from the truth I actually asked them if this was a joke! But they were serious – they had pulled one-time incidences & recorded them as a pattern of behaviour; they lied when they said they had brought these behaviours to my attention & I had not made the necessary adjustments. During the whole 3 months I worked there I maybe had 4 conversations with my supervisor (she worked on a different floor from me) & all our conversations were casual, as we passed each other in a hallway. During my termination meeting, when I tried to discuss the points they were making in their letter, I was told “This is not a discussion, the decision has already been made.” When I left the meeting, there was an empty box on my desk to pack up my personal belongings, all other employees had been moved into a meeting room where I could not talk to anyone & another supervisor was standing near my desk to supervise my departure.
This has left a very bitter taste in my mouth & a letter on my file I don’t deserve. I cannot use these people as a reference. I had worked for the company for over a year prior to accepting this full time position. At the end of each temporary assignment a review was conducted with my supervisor & all my previous reviews had been excellent! Since everything they put in my termination letter was so untrue, I’m also left with questions about why I was terminated – how do I explain this to future potential employers when I don’t understand it myself? And of course it has left a very bitter taste in my mouth about my previous employer. But by far the worst of it is the doubt is has put in my mind about my capabilities!
Just forget. Leave a reference of this company. It could be a temporary bad phase of your career. Probably, you are destined to a much better organization where you will be valued.
I blame the immediate boss who undermined you and your capabilities. The true reason of your removal could be something else like ‘you are overqualified’, ‘have posed a threat as a substitute to the boss in near future’ or ‘a sweet revenge for your smartness’.
Move forward and keep confidence to make a steady progress while climbing up a career ladder.
I agree with Dr. Asher. I had a similar experience with an employer a few years ago. When I read your post my heart started to beat faster because it happened exactly the way you describe. I believe that my termination was due to all the things that Dr. Asher mentions, overqualified, a threat to the boss, and smarter…although I never acted in one of those ways intentionally. Moving forward was necessary and in the end I have overcome that bad experience. However, because of the way it was handled by my boss and the HR department, I have not been able to say many positive things about this company when asked. Companies really do need to be concerned about their reputation when handling terminations. One or two poorly executed terminations is all it takes to tarnish the reputation of a company.
Thanks for sharing your views based on own experience. In my professional career of 24 years, I have found only two good bosses who remained appreciative for the good work done and were caring type. In a mediocre organization or a semi-professional firm you shall find more of conflicts and performance appraisal remains as no good tool for recognizing and rewarding people. More of subjective elements do play their role.
I strongly feel getting a right good boss is really difficult. Good performers leave the organization or some get fired mainly because the bad bosses. Simply forget such incidences with adaptability till the time your self-respect is not getting hurt.
I was a recruiter/account executive for six years, placing people in contract positions. In that role, I learned some very important lessons about firing people. The most important was this: That firing people is one of those skills at which one gets better with practice, but it’s not something anyone wants to get practice in.
I also learned the importance of recognizing the difference between terminating someone for misconduct vs. poor performance. Sometimes a placement just wasn’t a good fit, and I had to take responsibility for my role in that and be transparent about that, too.
More than anything, if I approached the situation as a learning opportunity for the employee and myself and treated them with dignity and respect, it usually turned out well – or even better than expected. Sometimes I was able to place the person again, sometimes I had to choose not to – and to explain to them why. These aren’t easy conversations, but they are important ones.
Great distinction between misconduct and poor performance, because they are percieved by co-workers differently, and they require a different response.
One further distinction: you can coach/discipline through some kinds of misconduct (e.g. disrespect) and keep the employee. But some kinds (violence, theft) require you to act decisively on the first occurence. In my company those are specifically listed in the employee handbook as cause for immediate termination.
Either way, you can take care of it without demeaning the individual.
Enlightening Susan – thanks for that share.
Martin
Dan, I think a lot of people never realize how much it means to be recognized as another human being, even if you are firing them. It can make all the difference in the world to them and then how they explain you to the next employer they have if you treat them with respect and grant them dignity in the face of life’s trials.
Thank you for reminding us all that we all want that little extra attention once in a while to remind us we are not outcasts, just not the proper fit anymore.
For me – and I have let go in a variety of circumstances, from redundancy to dismissal for theft, poor performance and more, there are two key issues here.
Firstly, build great relationships with ALL your people all the time. This is a balance between friendliness and professionalism that is difficult to get right. When you do this, taking tough decisions becomes understood and mutual.
Secondly, be courteous (there may be different set of cultural issues at play here, but there is NEVER any excuse for a lack of courtesy) and respectful of the individual. They are good people! It might be that there is absolutely no fault on their part for them having to go. There may be! It might be that their ‘fit’ isn’t right here – and the are still a valuable person in a different place.
In the case of dismissal for misbehavior, there is still the need to act professionally and with respect. For me, this was all about me and the organization I represented. Maltreating anyone is not good and if anyone needs a bottom line reason, they will tell their friends and family in such cases, who may well be your customer the next day.
Finally, where losing someone is a performance issue, remember that most people, if you’ve done your job right, will not find there underperformance a shock. you will have been talking with them frequently and not simply an once-a-year performance discussion (we ARE better than that, now aren’t we?). Letting them go, or relinquish responsibilities that they are not fit for is often a release for them as long as you work together to maintain their dignity and work to minimize financial loss if they are staying with you in a different role (note I say minimize, not take nothing away from them). You are actually helping them out of a stressful spot and they will thank you for being stro0ng enough to help them with that.
It’s never much fun to do as a manager, yet it need not be a bad thing, for any of the parties concerned, if you do your own job properly (and not just the letting go process, it starts way before that).
Martin