How to Be Competent at Being Incompetent
Guess what insecure leaders do when one of their weaknesses comes to light? They immediate explain why it isn’t a weakness and how it’s not that bad. I see it all the time.
It’s hard to acknowledge what you can’t do well when you live in a world that expects you to be good at nearly everything. To make matters worse, pressuring someone to acknowledge a weakness is almost always a losing situation.
Reaching your best:
You’ll never reach your best until you courageously acknowledge your worst. Sweeping your frailties, failures, and weaknesses under the carpet – pretending your competent when you aren’t – stops learning, hinders development, and stymies growth. Worse yet, you become the bottleneck that hinders rather than maximizes organizational success.
If leaders are learners then leaders must become those who know less. Lack precedes learning. The more you need to learn the more lack you must acknowledge. Don’t be surprised if it seems you lack more than anyone. The higher you go the less you’ll know.
6 ways to be competent at incompetence:
Incompetence never inspires. You can, however, be competent when it comes to weaknesses.
- Acknowledge limitations and weaknesses to individuals and teams but never dwell on what you don’t do well. Maintain optimism.
- Always live in solutions (inspired by Bob Burg). Dwelling on what you don’t do well demoralizes and eventually defeats.
- Learn enough to be able to recognize and evaluate experts.
- Rely on trusted advisors.
- Retain responsibility even while leveraging wisdom from others.
- Celebrate learning by sharing what you’ve learned.
Side benefit:
Learning organizations are led by learning leaders.
Leaders who optimistically, willingly, and sometimes publicly, express their lack give everyone in their organization permission to become learners. Faking invites fakery; transparency invites transparency. Learning invites learning.
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It’s dangerous to let your weaknesses out. How can leaders navigate this challenging territory?
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Very true of leaders and most importantly of everyone else as well. You can’t fix an issue with the same thinking that helped create. the issue
Great article, as always, Pastor Dan. And, thank you for your very kind mention! What a nice surprise!
“Learning organizations are led by learning leaders”
I love this, and I agree with it… but help me define what a learning leader looks like. For instance, how can you tell if a leader who is pursuing a doctorate in leadership truly a learning leader?
Hi Matt,
Great question.
Not only do learned lack, they listen. After listening learners adapt where it’s appropriate.
Know it all’s aren’t learners.
I like getting around people who enjoy exploring ideas. They are able to hold two or more contrasting and or conflicting ideas in their mind. They suspend judgement.
Learners invite people to challenge their ideas as they pursue new insights.
What do you think?
Best,
Dan
Learners invite people to challenge their ideas as they pursue new insights.
That right there is gold.
‘It’s dangerous to let your weaknesses out. How can leaders navigate this challenging territory?’
That’s an excellent question, Dan. Even further, how can ANYONE navigate this challenging territory?
In a picture perfect world, it would be safe for people to be real, open, and transparent with others at all times. Everyone would have our best interests at heart etc. Unfortunately, we don’t live in that world.
We live in a world where it’s a risk to expose weakness. Not just for leaders. For anyone.
Real life contains many shades of grey. For the sake of time, I’m going to be intentionally black and white.
If you have ever exposed a weakness to someone in the past, (I have), the result depends on the nature of the person you are exposing it to. If you are exposing your weakness to someone who cares about you and has your best interests at heart, then you are in good company. It is more then likely safe to share. Unfortunately not everyone we encounter falls into this ‘kindness’ group.
The other kind of person is the type that I like to refer to as one with a military mindset. They don’t want to know your weaknesses in order to help you overcome it, provide support, etc. They want to know your weaknesses so they can target it to take advantage, manipulate, or hurt you in some way.
We still live in a world where many people fall into this latter group. And many countries. (Thank goodness I’ve read the Art of War by Sun Tzu so at least I am now more aware of how someone would go about it! (joke)
In a nutshell, I’d say it really requires a combination of discernment and ultimately, risk. Unless you KNOW the person or group of people well, it is always a risk to expose weakness. Yet, it’s only in exposing weakness and being real and transparent that allows for the greatest level of authenticity, connection, love…all that GOOD stuff that I’d say most humans really WANT in life…even underneath all of our misguided/ignorant attempt to meet in the more violent and cruel ways.
I’d also say that it’s not always necessary to expose everything to everyone. The older I get, the more I lean towards ultimate transparency with those I”m closest to and know the best. And/or when it’s absolutely necessary beyond that. (to those my weakness impacts directly in some way)
It is also good to have at least one accountability partner that you can be totally real about anything and everything. This requires the greatest amount of trust.
Trial and error is part of it. As well as risk. It ultimately depends on how vulnerable we can risk/stand to be moment to moment. Day to day. Perhaps the more we take the risk to do it, the more we give others permission to do it.
PS: For context and clarity, I’m only referring to weaknesses that aren’t against the law. If the weakness is a ‘crime’. That’s a whole other matter and I imagine, a whole new layer of ‘bondage’ that would hinder someone’s ability to expose their weakness.
I just spent the weekend in my self imposed cave of shame, dwelling on mistakes and weakness. How do you acknowledge without dwelling?
Very helpful post. Thank you.
Dear Dan,
The line impressed me “Faking invites fakery; transparency invites transparency and Learning invites learning. It is so true and applies to any place, person, situations and organization. We can differentiate between leaders and fakers by accepting and explaining. Leaders accept what they don’t have, fakers explain to protect their realities and blame others for their failures, if exposed. I agree that to become competent we need to accept our incompetencies. Then we need to make committed effort to enhance our competences and reduce incompetencies. I strongly believe that incompetent can be competent by (FDP) focus, determination and practice. This is key to become learner and competent.
I think when you are surrounded by fakers, letting your weaknesses out may be bane. The reason is simple, fakers are interested in your weaknesses. But when you are surrounded by genuine and authentic leaders, it is boon to accept realities. So, leaders should monitor the environment where they work. If they fall under second category of situation, they should let their weaknesses out otherwise they need to be careful.
Samantha hit on the one thing I questioned in your post. Revealing a weakness needs to be done in a context of trust, and that goes for everyone.
Of course, the context of trust can come from self – which is where self-awareness starts.
Good post!
When you want to give objective, supportive and developmental feedback, it’s also vital – yes, even as a leader – to take it yourself.
The challenge is to take that feedback and NOT make excuses, give reasons etc., in the moment, but just to say thank you to the person giving you feedback and reflect, both on their courage and generosity, as well as what you need to do differently.
In my experience, leadership arrogance tends to get in the way of this, whioch them preculdes their own development and damages the relationship.
Martin Haworth
Dear Dan,
Quite an interesting post with good learning how best to succeed despite not knowing fully. Hiring experts and seeking their help/advice, trusting own people who know more and working on collective wisdom [core team] to arrive at a critical decision are the sure ways to overcome weaknesses. At times, learning from your own competitors by showing your ignorance and an urge to know & learn from their experience also prove to be beneficial rather than hitting into dark.
You have shared 6 good practical tips to overcome weaknesses with a powerful conclusion. It’s not only learning but all progressive and profitable organizations are led by learning leaders who are honest and trustworthy.
One other thing, Dan, that can help folks recognize that having, showing and dealing with weaknesses is ok – knowing that your strengths can hurt you as much as your weaknesses. Your strengths can become knee-jerk responses, prevent you from doing new things, put you on auto-pilot or make you appear arrogant. http://stratecutionstories.wordpress.com/2012/03/15/beware-of-your-strengths-how-your-strengths-can-hurt-you-as-much-as-your-weaknesses/
mb
http://stratecutionstories.wordpress.com
This is why I read your blog. I “learn” something each and every time.
I like number six in the list. “Celebrate learning by sharing what you’ve learned”. In my opinion, this is the most precious gift one can share with others…knowledge.
“The higher you go the less you’ll know.”
“Learning organizations are led by learning leaders.”
Two great quotes I’m adding to my quote bank (i.e. my reminder bank)