10 Ways to Become a Contrarian Leader
Nice leaders finish last, if nice means agreeable. If all you do is agree, go home. You aren’t contributing.
“There is a condition afflicting organizations that often goes undiagnosed because it is perceived as benign. In truth, it is corrosive.
I call it the ‘the disease of niceness.’” John Baldoni in, “The Leaders Pocket Guide.”
Nice leaders:
- Wrongly believe “getting along” is the goal. “Can’t we all get along?” is great if you love mediocrity.
- Can’t tolerate conflict. If you can’t tolerate conflict, you can’t lead. Successful leaders thrive in tense situations.
- Need to be liked.
Substantive contribution demands disagreement.
Contrarian leaders:
- Believe getting it done is the goal.
- Think tension and conflict are tools not distractions.
- Instigate conflict rather hiding from it. They stir the pot.
The scale:
On the scale of “nice to contrarian,” most of you fall on the nice side. You’ll get along just fine in many organizations. But, you’ll never be an exceptional leader if all you do is agree.
Exceptional leaders cross the line
from agreeable to contrarian.
10 ways to become contrarian:
- Keep smiling, for goodness sake.
- Reject the idea that anger and contrarian are the same thing. Don’t let anger be your only motivation to address tough issues.
- Ask tough questions and make challenging statements without threatening.
- Embrace politeness, always. (Thanks for this one John Baldoni.)
- Watch your body language. Maintain welcoming eye contact and open postures.
- Convince everyone you support them. Agree, affirm, and support, a lot. Contrarian leaders finish last, if contrarian means constant disagreement.
- Keep listening. Contrarian doesn’t mean “my way or the highway.”
- Practice clarity and mutual accountability. Have others hold you accountable to the same degree you hold them. Contrarian isn’t about being aloof or superior.
- Always show respect.
- Maintain optimism. Contrary isn’t negative.
Note: I”m not encouraging bullying. Bullies aren’t leaders.
How can you move toward contrarian leadership, today?
This is such a good one. The tricky part can be to “keep smiling” on the inside when you are getting ticked off…. but sometimes… a good mad… delivered well and calmly can lead to remarkable results.
“a good mad” KaChing!
Great post Dan, I especially like the last sentence, “Contrary isn’t negative.” I would suggest that to be great contrarian Leaders there must be significant trust amongst the team. Without trust, it’s hard, if not impossible, to have positive tension and conflict as tools; issues will become personalized and achieving the outcome is lost. Your 10 ways to become contrarian will help build trust, particularly number 8. Thanks!! Don
Great add Don… Be contrarian all you want but apart from trust it won’t matter much… probably it will do more damage than good.
Thanks – that was my word for the day. I did not know the name; but have practiced the concept. It is saying “yes” to the person, while saying “yes, and what more”, or “what if…” to the idea or path being followed.
Love your questions…. yes and… what more or what if… questions contrarians ask.
i spent way too much time as an “I want to be liked” leader and not really leading. I have few years left to make a difference (I am 60) and want to use what is remaining to do so. Sign me up as contrarian.
I’m thinking your richest contribution is in front of you! Thank you for sharing yourself. I should have added transparency to my list of 10. 🙂
Sounds like Dan has started a new self-help group, CO…a 10 step program, Contrarians Onymous…
Dan, I’ve heard this before, however not so well put or explained. I was hoping someone I respect (you) would address this. I’m still struggling with really agreeing with & embracing this idea. I will read more about this idea. The last person that put this forward couldn’t back it up, so thank you for the additional reference.
Thanks for the good word and best wishes in your future reading…feel free to let me know what you learn about effective contrarianism.
I disagree, Dan. In this post you are stating the problems with being nice and by definition are suggesting the opposite is needed. To me, that sends the wrong signal. I believe leaders are passionate about their vision and its this passion that shows through when you’re being nice or being a contrarian. We have enough “not nice” leaders around. We don’t need to encourage any more.
Thanks for being a contrarian!
Vision driven contrarianism is the only way to go. Vision explains and guides behaviors. Contrarian for the sake of contrarian is futile.
You express one concern I had in writing this. It’s the problem of mean or bullying leaders. An important point in this conversation.
My take on Leadership Freak readers is many if not most of them fall on the too nice side of leadership and could use some encouragement to become more contrarian … in a nice way of course.
Thanks for making me laugh 🙂 I particularly like your number 1) keep smiling! I completely agree… disagreeing needs to be learned and practiced the right way. How do you want to become an out-of-the box thinker if you only agree with others…
🙂 … Many of us need to frown to disagree… I’ve met a few people who were really great at being nice while disagreeing… I find it very effective. There’s less baggage. Cheers
😉 I really prefer constructive feedback so that I can learn something from it instead of somebody who is alwyas agreeing with me. After an animated discussion or brainstorming, I like to finish by asking: ‘So, on a scale of 1 to 10 where ten is you feel great and 1 is your questions haven’t been addressed and you are no further down the road, where are you now’? Normally people should be at least at an 8, otherwise you as a leader did not do your job…
I think I’ve made great strides over the last several years at becoming a contrarian leader. In the past I used to use anger as a motivation to address issues. Now I use concern, and betterment of the organization to address issues.
Beautifully put! Thank you.
I’m not sure I like the term “contrarian” but I like the ideas. It may be better offered as a useful stance rather than a core belief. I’ve seen people who think their job is to stir the pot when a good leader would see that it doesn’t need to be stirred. Or to hold their ground no matter what even if its ground that should be surrendered. I agree with your 10 steps and the comments that suggest the core of contrarianism is at its core a strong vision and commitment to getting things done for the benefit of all. Maybe step 11 is to be clear, constructive, and committed to what you are advocating. That keeps you steady and consistent in your contribution, and sets a good example for the other contrarians on the team who may think differently than you do. We don’t want people who resist in the name of contrarianism without the 10 steps to think that they are doing right. I like step 3 – asking tough questions without threatening. Good post.
I see you are being a bit of a contrarian, like others today.
Don’t stir for the sake of stirring … frankly, too much stirring spoils the stew..
I always appreciate your insights. Thanks for contributing.
Maintain unconditional positive regard while starting to clean up after (and consistently pointing out) the immutable elephant(s) in the room. Emphasis on ‘starting’ as it is a group project…. 😉
Short but powerful… we’re just getting started.
Dan:
Your comments blend well with Peter Block’s book “Stewardship”.
The key to resolving the “nice/contrarian” dichotomy is not to try to be nice or to be contrarian, but to authentically practice stewardship, looking out for the good of the organization we serve. Good stewardship requires leaders who are contrarian enough to drive forwards towards necessary change, to reject mediocrity and complacency, to challenge people. They must not be personally offended if people resist or take offence, and be willing to apologize or change course as required for the organization’s good.
Bullying is wrong, as you pointed out. Being contrarian to preserve an aura of authority is also wrong. Being “nice” to maintain peace is also wrong. However, doing right for the good of those with whom we are entrusted is right.
This is akin to good parenting, being loving and kind while shaping our children’s future for their own good; to being a doctor, insisting on an unpleasant treatment for the patient’s good; or leading a responsible government that governs for the people’s good, rather than for the gain of the person in power.
Leadership is not a position, but a responsibility. It is not glory or domination, but service. A true leader who cares for and loves those he/she leads will often question his motives and methods, doing the best he/she can, and learning from others how to do better. Being contrarian is part of the toolbox of a steward leader. It is not a goal per se.
Marc:
KaPow! You sure said a lot.
“Leadership is not a position but a responsibility.” That’s uncomfortably true.
I hadn’t thought of the stewardship context for this post but it most certainly brings a great perspective …thanks for adding it.
Here’s a link to Stewardship on Amazon.
This also blends well with Stephen Sample’s “Contrarian’s Guide to Leadership” – he also provides 10 methods to move towards contrarian views on leadership.
Thanks for pointing out an added resource. For those interested here is the link on Amazon to the Contrarians Guide to Leadership.
Todays’ post sort of reminds me of last week’s leadfromwithin chat where we were discussing neutral leaders. Right off the bat it was clear we were entering the discussion with clearly different ideas of what ‘neutral’ meant when it came to leadership. On the one hand, neutral can be very negative if the leader is worried about what people think and is trying to be ‘nice’. Along the lines of what your post is introducing here.
That said, from my perspective, I’m thinking that perhaps it’s not that we should try to BECOME contrarian leaders. Simply for the sake of shaking things up or even to challenge ourselves to step AWAY from the need to please and be ‘nice’ because we fear conflict. It’s far better and more natural when ‘the act of being contrary’ simply stems from who we are in the moment. One person is offering their perspective. Another person listens and sees from their perspective and is able to offer their own to make a more well-rounded picture. Some people simply argue for the SAKE of argument and that’s usually not very helpful.
When people are being more TRUE to who they are, then we are more capable of sharing our perspectives and accepting perspectives of others, even if we disagree.
So in my heart and mind, the goal is not that we should TRY to become more contrary. It’s simply making room for speaking our truths in the moment. It may be just the sort of perspective and truth that is needed to break stalemates, create more possibilities for solutions, etc.
Hope that makes sense.
Thanks for sharing your ideas Dan. 🙂
PS: I did want to add an exception to what I said. At certain times within groups and business, some creative thinking techniques will intentionally call for people to play the devil’s advocate for the purpose of shifting perspectives, gleaning new ideas and solutions, etc. An example of this can be seen in the utilization of the black hat in Edward de Bono’s Six Thinking Hats techniques.
Gordon Gekko once said that “…it’s not the popular guys that get the job done”. How true. It takes courage and boldness to cut through all the crap and politics, in order to find and solve the real issue.