Six Secrets to the Power of Seeing
My friends complain, “I waved but you didn’t wave back.” Or, “I spoke but you didn’t hear me.”
Ever walk down the hall and not make eye contact with employees?
If you’re oblivious, you’re oblivious.
Second-rate leaders sink into their own world, ignore environments, get lost in thought, and neglect personal contact.
First-rate leaders hold up their heads, rise above environments, and see people. Leaders step into the world of others.
You can’t lead what you don’t see.
Six reasons leaders close their eyes:
- Need to have answers but fear they won’t.
- Too busy.
- Don’t care.
- Devalue others.
- Minimize their own importance.
- Lack social skill, including small talk.
Six powerful messages of seeing:
- Interest. What’s seen matters.
- Value. Those ignored don’t matter.
- Openness. Eye contact invites.
- Priority. You look at what’s important now. See people.
- Confidence. Fear lowers eyes.
- Focus. Circumstances bully distracted leaders.
Bonus: Seeing indicates willingness to act. Have you ever walked by a homeless person without making eye contact?
Three big payoffs:
- Performance needs an audience.
- Connection builds relationships.
- Support requires knowledge.
Tips:
- Schedule private think time.
- Make eye contact and smile even if you can’t stop and talk.
- Invite hallway interrupters to walk with you to your next appointment.
- Keep intention top of mind. “I stopped in to let you know you’re work is important. We can’t solve this issue now. Let’s meet later.”
- Refer. Say, “This is important to me. Mary is on top of this. Let’s call her in.”
- Follow-up.
See reader insights on Facebook, “People need to be watched because _______.”
Today’s challenge: Hold your head up and see.
Why do leaders bury their heads in the sand?
How has seeing or being seen helped you?
I think a lot of well meaning leaders are sticking their head in the sand because they are looking too far into the future. That is an important leadership skill. But, you have to be present today. Look ahead, and look around – Andy Stanley quote.
Dan, – I wrote on this last week. http://toddliles.com/the-leaders-problem-with-being-too-focused-on-the-future.html
I hope you don’t mind me sharing. I find it great to have such mental alignment with you and the readers of your blog.
Hi Todd, Interesting addition to the conversation. I’m a huge fan of looking ahead but see your important point… Well said.
Thanks for extending the conversation with some of your own work.
Dear Dan,
Power of seeing determine leadership. I can see two kind of leadership here. First who keep their head ups and are concerned and second who keep their heads down and not concerned about others. First category of leadership comes from respect, second category of leadership comes out of fear. First is sign of courage, other is sign of arrogance. I have good experience in reading such gesture and studying such behaviors. One strong reason why leaders bury their heads in the sand is their incompetency. And this competency make them fearful. They want to create space just to hide their weaknesses. They are in constant state of fear. And arrogance is the way to put cover on their weaknesses.
It does not mean being incompetent is bad or weak. It more depends upon your belief about it. There are people who accept it and that is why they have scope to improve and get respected everywhere.
So, both leaders are outcomes of their belief. Those who raise their heads are not always competent but they are concerned about others. They are not generally position centric but those who hide their weakness are concerned about safeguarding their position. Therefore, good leaders should have strong ability to see who falls under which category.
Love your focus on belief in your comment.
It’s a powerful insight to see that belief impacts the way we view situations that stretch us. Or, how we view ourselves and others when we don’t know something.
Very useful… thank you
In my experience, this is a big deal. Its also the look on your face as you walk down the hall. I have learned that when my head is full and busy, my face may not appear welcoming. I make a more deliberate effort at all this when my brain is extra full.
I’m with you Karin. I can’t think and smile at the same time. 🙁
Hi Dan, interesting and different post this morning.
Sometimes we are deep in thought and don’t realize someone is watching and “seeing” what we think is unnoticed. The truth is Leaders are always on stage, and their performance is always being assessed even when the moment seems private to us. As long as you are out and about you are representing your organization and yourself. There is no such thing as Leaders “letting” their hair down because in truth their coiffure is always on display. People watching is a favorite sport of those who follow leaders. Chance meetings should always be on a leader’s agenda. They may be unexpected for the watcher but not for the cognizant, savvy, and seasoned leader. Nothing is happenstance in a leader’s world. The only coincidence that favors the leader is the one that never occurs.. “Chance” blankets those that gamble and the prudent leader’s credo leaves no room for speculation. The sacrifice of scrutiny is the price for leadership and the servant leader’s expose underpins decorum. The constant surveillance sharpens the will to succeed and the courage to look back and smile. There may be no quarter allowed but the rewards can be infinite. Cheers, 🙂
Just finished reading Love Works by Joel Manby. He would say if you walk down a hallway and do not notice or recognize your colleagues then you are not leading with love. I may sometimes be in another world (especially on a sunday morning), I try really hard not to ignore or miss people.
Looking is not the same as seeing and hearing is not the same as listening. By taking the time to truly see and listen, we become better, stronger leaders. Great post. Thank you.
Dan, really good stuff. My friend, Richard Smith (SearcherSeeker) talks often about being awake and aware. It is amazing when I examine my own life how often I’m not fully awake and aware. Ugh! As a leader, it is even more important to ‘see’ …to be more fully aware of what’s going on with us and our affect on others, on circumstances, and awake to all that is around us, particularly people. It is the foundation of all we do.
Dan, as always, there is much to think about in your post and in the comments from others. I would caution people however not to be to quick to evaluate someone’s leadership ability by how they are seen walking down a hall.
As an introvert, I am keenly aware of our cultural bias toward extroversion. Quiet doesn’t necessarily mean oblivious as you describe it. Gregarious doesn’t necessarily mean engaged. Sometimes that quiet walk down the hall is the first moment in hours that the introvert has had to reflect and recharge their batteries before stepping into the next meeting where he/she is expected to become an extrovert again.
Very interesting article. I was thinking the same thing about introversion as I read the article. Another thought that crossed my mind was mental health. Perhaps the leader, rather than being arrogant or self-absorbed, is suffering from depression or anxiety and needs support? Can we call a leader great and allow them space to be human rather than needing them to be “on” at all times?
Dan:
This one is brilliant — classic Dan Rockwell.
Best wishes for the great season of Christmas!
John
Great post Dan.
Reminds me of a time many years ago when I joined a brand new company that was just setting up.
My line manager would visit our office most days to see how we were getting on, and I thought he was doing a good job of taking a genuine interest in our progress (which indeed he was).
But soon, members of my team began criticising him (to me) because he never acknowledged them when he came in.
After hearing of this I immediately noticed it too and brought it to his attention.
He gave me some blase excuses about having a lot on his mind. I stuck at him though over a few weeks because I could see it was important to the team. Soon he started making more effort to recognise and acknowledge the team.
It wan’t that he wasn’t confident, didn’t care, was introverted, lacked social skills, he just believed (in italics) he was so busy he had to be thinking about the last conversation he’d had or his next task/meeting.
We were young and inexperienced then and we learned quickly. He in fact became an excellent leader as he (and our company) matured.
The good thing was how quickly the team responded positively to his improved “Seeing”.
Having learned this lesson myself, your blog rings so resoundingly true. I especially like your Tips.
Best wishes for Christmas and the New Year 🙂
Great post, Dan. Staying connected with the here and now is so important and easy to lose. I didn’t see the term in the comments, but we used to call that “management by walking around.” As a leader you want to be available and observant, but maybe not always. You wisely bring out the balance needed. I think part of allowing for an introverted personality (I’m one) is to talk with people about it. They should know that sometimes you are working stuff out. Make it OK and not threatening. Plan time to be heads up, observant, and available. Plan time to be alone. And when walking between the two if you forget to pay attention, if your team knows who you are, they will be OK with it. Make it OK to interrupt you. Lots of your comments apply to the time in between and how to make the most of it and send the right message.
I learned this several years ago when I served as a Church Business Administrator. Part of my duties were to oversee the operations end of Sunday services. I would get so caught up in the task of m job, I forgot about connecting with the people. It is impossible to lead if you do not connect with others. Leadership is about relationships. I have had to learn to be proactive and intentional to slow down and connect.
This is cute! =)