Isolated Leadership: Dangers and Solutions
Isolated leaders inevitably run down, grow ineffective, and become irrelevant. Closed systems die slow deaths.
Don’t wait for the energy fairy. She ain’t coming.
What happens when you place a frog in water that’s slowly being heated? They don’t jump out, they die.
The increasing heat of leadership subtly cooks isolated leaders.
Isolation feels safe but it kills.
You’re isolated and running down if you feel:
- Disconnected.
- Distrustful.
- Unsupported.
- Misunderstood.
- Constantly guarded.
Warning: Leaders frequently lean toward isolation.
In his new book, “Boundaries for Leaders,” Dr. Henry Cloud says:
“Set boundaries on your tendency to be a ‘closed system,’ and open yourself to outside inputs that bring you energy and guidance.”
Solitude isn’t a leadership strategy.
Open yourself to influence, input, and support from outside your organization. Closed systems inevitably die. Dr. Cloud says the benefits of outside input includes:
- Insight into new models of leading.
- Motivation and development.
- Help overcoming obstacles.
- Support through valleys.
- Protection from worst instincts.
“Leaders need outside voices to provide emotional and functional support…” Dr. Cloud.
You need reminders to get out of yourself and the organization you lead. Dr. Cloud suggests:
- Know your personal kookiness. You aren’t perfectly rational 100% of the time.
- Get coaching.
- Join a leadership group.
- Take courses and attend conferences.
- Seek and listen to feedback. “To be the best you can be, you must develop a hunger for feedback…”
A note on kooky:
Acknowledging idiosyncrasies frees; hiding them confines.
All leaders have “special” built in over-reactions, biases in perception, and instinctual responses that don’t work. Acknowledging “special qualities” opens and strengthens leadership.
How can leaders overcome the tendency to isolate?
What behaviors help leaders connect?
Like much of the rest of life Dan, choosing to isolate oneself is a choice, actually a series of choices. And the more you isolate yourself, the easier it becomes to shut people out. And sooner or later they will stop caring about your isolation.
The best way to overcome this tendency is to work at it consciously, to share. Share information, highs and lows, ideas and pondering s. learn to share your heart, of course with some discretion. And remember that sharing is a two-way street. Allow others to share what’s inside of them as well.
When people can see you through all if the smoke and mirrors, they are much more willing to follow your lead.
Thanks Martina.
You remind me of the danger of one negative choice leading to another… I’ve found it true in my life. I find isolation happens through neglect If I don’t intentionally pay attention to my tendency to isolate.
Three very important keys of being the most effective leader are:
1. Leaders are the most effective when they always investing in strengths.
2. Leaders are the most effective who surround themselves with the right people and maximize their team.
3. Leaders are the most effective who understand their followers needs.
When Leaders or anyone are without an awareness of their strengths, it’s almost impossible for them to lead effectively.
We all lead in very different ways,based on our talents and our limitations. Serious problems occur when we think we need to be exactly like the leaders we admire. Doing so takes us out of our natural element and practically eliminates our chances of success.
At times I am not confident in my leadership. I have tried to hide but it does lead to being isolated and not improving leadership
Hi Dan ,
Shared once with you before, if we were supposed to be here alone we would be!
The wonder of life is to discover the wonder of one another.
Connect and share your goodness! It’s there deep inside, just look!
Have a great day dear friend!
Off to Connect and share my goodness! How bout you?
Shifterp(Scott ) Out!
Thank you Scott.
Repeated ideas aid memory!
Lol I do tend to repeat what I find works over and over and over!!!
One of those things is I share with people This is a Great blog and I start every day soaking it in! Over and over and over!!!!
Thank you Dan you have truly helped me.
Much respect.
SP Out!
Very well stated. We’d be wise to apply. Keep up the good work.
Thanks Lucy.
Dear Dan,
I agree with you. Leaders tend to isolate. More they reach up in hierarchy, more they tend to isolate people under. Since there are few people at the top and the responsibility is different, they generally feel to isolate people. And people below also tend to isolate them in routine matter. Leaders can overcome such tendency by remaining connecting with the people. The major problem why leaders or other people get disconnected is the perception of power. Lower level people or employees feel powerless and leaders are perceived powerful. And this feeling makes the difference. So, leaders need to create a feeling of equality, caring and approachable. Leaders should create a feeling that employees are not fearful from leaders.
Leaders on the other hands, should be humble and encourage more interaction with the people. They should come out of their cabin and make effective communication. Generally, lack of interaction, communication and interaction by leaders is perceived negatively. People perceived leaders biased. So, communication and visibility is the key.
Thank you Ajay.
Here’s my golden take away: Power Isolates. … powerful!
Your comment is very much enlightening, it gives me the answer to he question that I had posted for Dan. Thank you!
Reblogged this on maturitas cafe and commented:
I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to share this post with you. It combines two of my all-time favorites – Henry Cloud and Dan Rockwell – experts and amazing encouragers in the areas of life and leadership. If you don’t already, you will want to check out Dan’s blog, “Leadership Freak” and follow him on Twitter… and you will want to listen in on Henry’s free live call today or read some of his great books. I have review some of them already in my posts. These guys are the real deal!
You rock Terry. Thanks
You only get out of life and leadership what you put into it.
If you give yourself unconditionally you shall reap the harvest. If you chose to apply yourself occasionally you’re doomed for mediocre results and most likely failure. Remember you make your own choice and live your own live until you become a Leader and realize how we affect others:-)
Thanks Tim… love that last phrase… “until…” 🙂
Thanks for this message. It will help me get from feeling stuck to doing something about my feelings of being disconnected and guarded at work – to this degree for the first time in my long career. This morning I am feeling like I have the power and ability to do something about it. Sometimes we need a nudge.
Thank you Debra.
Truth… sometimes we all need nudges. I find one of the challenges is looking outside my organization and/or current set of connections to find disinterested parties. Best wishes
Henry, I absolutely loved Boundaries & Necessary Endings. Thank you for those! I’m looking forward to reading B. F. L. now. This is spot on about Isolation & Solitude. Sadly, I lived that. Gladly, I’ve been delivered from the Closed System. My 180 was the work of God and through the aid of everything listed in this post. This information could shave years and tons of pain off of a leaders path. Thank you for that!
Thanks Cabinet.
It’s the truth man… learn this early and you’ll spend less time spinning your wheels. Good call.
“Solitude isn’t a leadership strategy” sums it up for me. When times are tough, it’s easy to focus inward. I do this occasionally, but perhaps more worrying, I see this more and more from those I look to for leadership. Waking yourself takes awareness, waking others you look too takes courage.
How do you best do this? How far is too far?
Dave
Thanks Dave.
Your questions address the issue of how hard can we push an issue that someone doesn’t want to hear. The answer is, how much are you willing to risk?
Other alternatives include modeling the behavior yourself and then demonstrating the benefits….
Inviting an isolated leader to lunch with you and another trusted adviser and open up… Work on an issue together. Perhaps the transparency will encourage them.. of course it could terrify them.
Truth is, I’ve seen leaders absolutely refuse to open up. We can’t make them.
What do you think?
I encourage my clients to schedule 30 minutes/day (or more) to ‘walk the floor’ to connect with their team members (and/or call their virtual team members) and ‘do lunch’ once a week with a peer.
Thanks SJ.
Great advice…simple, actionable, and measurable. Love it.
Thanks Dan.
Introverted leaders like myself, need to hear the verbs in your message: connect, join, seek, listen, support, motivate.
Thank you Duane.
You gotta love and hate those verbs! 🙂
Coaching others helps alleviate isolation, glimpse other’s perspectives, and connect with them. Thanks for the thought provoking post.
Thank you J.
Personally, I find I can hide when coaching others…it’s when I’m being coached the isolation has to end, unless I choose to lie.
Great post!!
Rejecting isolationism and building a cooperative, connective leadership style produces long-term results. Everyone benefits from a teamwork leadership style that provides listening ears and honest sharing.
Hi Dan, did you think that leaders have a tendency to isolate? Is it part of their personality traits just like their ‘special’ built-in over-reactions? Btw, thank you for this wonderful post!
Hi Louise,
I write from my own perspective, experience, and reading. In this case, I think the tendency to isolate is pervasive. How much so, I couldn’t say exactly. I think the challenges of leadership are predominantly people challenges. After awhile, leaders prefer isolation to dealing with people challenges. What do you think?
Absolutly! challenges, people, workload can become overwhelming even for great leaders. That is when one’s need good supportive coach, assistant, family. Thank you again!
Great post. I think the close cousin of isolation is defensiveness. If a leader is isolated, it’s easy to develop a filter that translates outside input as an attack or criticism, which then triggers defensive response. And most of us know how nonconstructive THAT can be. It spirals down from defensiveness to anger to backfiring attacks, which further pushes people away. Now the isolation is complete…initiated from the leader, and punctuated by the led.
In my experience, it’s leaders that have more responsibility than they can handle that become isolated. They can’t be in all places at all times, and with the help of technology, attempt to lead from behind their laptop. As a result, they cannot possibly see from the perspective in which they need to see. Small, important details are left out because it’s too much information to be placed in the email traffic. Isolation is inevitable. I think it’s important for companies to take responsibility for who they are placing in positions of great responsibility, to make sure they can handle it, and to make sure the position isn’t too much for even the best leaders.
This is an important lesson for me because I thrive on quiet, reflective time. It’s easy, though, to sink into isolation when you’re seeking reflection. Thanks for the warning, Dan.
Great post. This seems to be a “blindside” area, aka lack of awaerness. Thanks for shining a light on this topic -very relevant to leaders!
I think the isolation can also lead to burnout, because of the lack of camaraderie, opportunity to bounce ideas off other leaders, etc.
Thanks for the reminder, Dan. One of the things I have come to realize about leadership, is that it is not a position, its action. You cannot be an effective leader if “action” is not taken and you isolate yourself from others. Bulding relationships and trust are two of the things that are vital for me as a leader. Sometimes when I am feeling down, I close my office door and wallow in my own self-pity. This doesn’t help me or my team. I appreciate your words of advice and look forward to hearing more in the future.
Great points! Love the blog.
I can’t imagine an isolated life. One where we’re not able to gain love, knowledge and understanding from others. I cherish the lessons of those that have walked the “minefield” before me. Those that have poured wisdom into my walk. If those people had isolated themselves, I would have missed out. I hope I can pay that forward.
Hmmm. I think of this in terms of communication. An isolated leader is not communicating with his or her organization. Most likely he or she is a lot of transmit and little receive. Make sure you spend more time on your receiver than your transmitter and that will do a lot to negate isolation. Wr Vince
So true. Too many leaders believe they have to know it al. And asking for help is a sign of weakness. What a shame.
We are social animals by nature. So to isolate oneself almost has a compounded negative effect. It’s important to have a support network — even more than one. Family, faith-centered, business associates, avocations, philanthropic groups are all examples where a person can build support networks that allow us to “get away” from the isolating tendencies of leadership.
Years ago, having one of my business ventures fail big-time, was a tremendously isolating experience. It was all on me. What kept me going through it all was my connection with and support of my nuclear family and my faith family.
This also applies to up and coming leaders. You are told that you are a lead on a project and get told you are a up and comer with lots of promise. Then you feel that you are alienated since above wants result without having to help and below wonders why woul they help you succeed.
You pull back and end up being alone and so not like to take on future leadership roles
Great post! As a Christian campus minster at a major private university, so often I feel extremely isolated. I work for a bunch of churches but not in one. I work at the University but not employed by it. I work with students but I’m not one of them. Everything I do is leading something. There are other campus ministers around but not near. Recently (in the last two months) I’ve made significant changes to break down some of the isolation. Hopefully, desire and practice because reality. Thanks for the post.
This post really opened my eyes, as it defined a path I feel I am on. Too often I feel that I need to shelter my staff, to let them do their work, which results in not sharing enough and not having open ended discovery type conversations with them. On the flip side I often feel that I shouldn’t be “bothering” my supervisor with things that I think I should be expected to know.
In a corporate culture that is changing and promoting openness and transparency I need to improve or risk falling out of line and becoming irrelevant.
Thank you for this.
Dear Dan,
An interesting post with good insight. It provides an insight into the symptoms of isolation and what happens once you are dragged in. I fully agree that a true leader always stay connected with people, enthuse them with his own example and update himself with continuous learning.
Dear Dr. Asher,
I appreciate your comment. Great leaders become role model for others to follow. And this makes them great. They become example before they influence. Actually their achievement and behaviour becomes spark and initiate to inspire others.
Regards
Ajay
Overcome the tendency to isolate? – Accept it is lonely at the top and you don’t have the answers to everything – not even half of it!
What behaviors help leaders connect? Accepting when they are wrong and when others are too. Acting like a human being not like a superhuman!
Richard
Do you feel there is a difference in a leaders tendency to isolate based on whether they work as a leader from above versus a servant leader?
My gut feel is that a servant leader will be automatically less isolated. It is hard to serve people when not interacting with them. As a servant leader you are forced into interaction to know what the people you lead (serve) need/want. Leading from above you don’t necessarily need to interact as much as you are more likely to push what people need/want down in a proactive matter versus reacting to the need/want from below.
Sometimes the solution is low tech — it’s about how you physically position yourself among your coworkers. Desk/office placement — your body language when you are around them. Worth considering. Great post.
Thank you, Dan, for sharing. And thank you to Dr Cloud for the live webcast! This post made me realize I’m on the right track to being/maintaining my leadership. Thank you for sharing. Many of your posts help me make sure I stay on the right path!
Thank you! I am young in leadership and want to grow in order to be someone who emulates servanthood in my leadership. Thank you for encouraging us to not run from our idiosyncrasies! And most important being open to feedback. Having people who keep me away from isolation is important to keep in mind. As a leader, I need to create a safe environment where people can speak truth to me and we can grow together in a way that builds trust and relationships to move the organization forward!
Great talk with Dr. Cloud today. Thanks for hosting this!
Great call – leaves me wanting to read the book!
Terrific webcast with Dr. Cloud today. Look forward to reading the book.
The comments on solitude and isolation are so true. We have to open up and get out of our own way sometimes. It can get hard to see the picture when we are in the frame. That feedback from others can really help us get better results and improve.
Thank you so much for your time. I enjoyed the points you made and I know they will be useful in our business.
Dr. Cloud did it again. The discussion of Problems versus Patterns was extremely helpful to me today. Patterns will destroy you. Sobering.
Hi Dan and Dr. Cloud,
This was a great webcast. I really appreciated the insight with “Problem” and “Pattern”.
I can see this in my current organization and how we need to change.
Thanks,
YIC,
Pastor Darian L. Hybl
Thanks so much for the free webcast today with Dr. Cloud. I enjoyed it very much and got some great takeaway thoughts. Major changes coming our way at work and Dr. Cloud’s input is greatly appreciated.
Thank you for a great presentation. I really appreciate your time.
What a great encouragement this podcast was to me today! Thank you for hosting and I will look forward to next week –
This confirms that I need to get some coaching!
Wonderful discussion with Dr. Cloud! Thank you for sharing such great info! Blessings!
Solitude is not a Leadership Strategy!!! So true, but many times leaders get caught up in getting done what needs to be done that they lose sight of how important it is to have that input and energy from others. Thanks for sharing this valuable information and for hosted Dr. Cloud’s call today!
Dan,
Thank you for hosing this webinar with Dr. Cloud. I really found it an eyeopener and especially the couple of questions that were asked at the end. Setting boundaries is a challange for some especially when you haven’t been taught that it really is ok, to set them. Motivating and building your team takes a technique and thanks to Dr. Cloud and you, this gave me a start to know where I am and where I want to be. Good leaders really do work hard, as the last note that was said, I am confident with more webinars and your blog posts, that you are indeed assisting many people in their development of becoming leaders and enhancing those talents. Splendid hour and keep up the great work you are doing. I definitely appreciate it!
LaKenya Moore
This conference was definitely worth the hour! I will plan to be listening out for upcoming events. Thanks so much for sharing this valuable information.
Thanks for making this webcast available, it was all good information. I am starting my own homebased business and isolation is a big problem, I am working at connecting so this was really important for me to hear today! I look forward to the simulcast with Dr. Cloud next week.
DItto the comments on the great webcast with Dr. Cloud. He is so relatable! Also, re: today’s blog post – this resonated with me right now, as I strive towards authenticity in professional and personal life – kookiness and all! Authentic = credible. They know when it isn’t!
Isolation definitely kills a leader. As a Pastor I have found isolation creeping in both with staff leadership and in reaching the culture. It’s easy to spend time with church people and miss the mission. Being intentional is being a leader because it’s too comfortable to stay put while the water gets hotter. Thanks for the post and phone call.
Dan, I enjoyed the event with Dr. Cloud. I have read several of his other books, and always get inspired. Thanks for the opportunity to listen to the event.
Martha Lancaster
Really enjoyed the webcast took 3 pages of notes. Was a good very informative. The Problem vs Patterns was very insiteful and has made me start to look back at my own leadership style to locate the patterns to start to break them. Thanks for all you do Dan and for having Dr. Cloud on
How can leaders overcome the tendency to isolate?
In a nutshell: BE LOVE TO OTHERS. Love communicated leads to respect and trust. BEING involved WITH others opens the doors to everything meaningful. That’s not something you get by hiding out in a corner office.
Emotionally, isolation only makes you continents apart.
What behaviors help leaders connect? Be compassionate, caring, and considerate for everyone in every area of your life. Showing empathy demonstrates a level of understanding people won’t get from you if you’re isolated.
I’m going to use this diagnostic with new teams I am forming.
You’re isolated and running down if you feel:
Disconnected.
Distrustful.
Unsupported.
Misunderstood.
Constantly guarded.
AND I’m going to keep it as a visible reminder for me…while I’m busy forming teams.
Thanks so much for sharing this post. I missed today’s event, but I hope to make it tomorrow. I agree, but didn’t realize it, that leaders lean toward isolation. I can definitely see that in me. It is a slippery slope, because I often assume I am alone on an island and there isn’t another human who relates. I recognize how dangerous a life of solitude as a leader can be. I recently hired an executive coach, who has really pushed me and been quite an encouragement for my leadership journey. I also plan to seek and listen to feedback and input from others.
Thanks!
I enjoyed the webcast today. Problems vs Patterns… I want to know more. I’m hoping to be selected for the book giveaway. Unfortunately, I cannot afford my own copy at this time. If not now, I’ll get one later down the road.
Thank you for the call today with Dr. Cloud! It was timely, thought-provoking and refreshing. I’m so grateful for leaders like you and Dr. Cloud who are part of the community of “outside input” mentioned today. It is so necessary to keep us challenged and growing! After this morning’s call, I’m still taking off the blinders to see the patterns in the organization I lead. 🙂 Thank you both for sharing truth that brings freedom!
I loved the image of the frogs in warming water. I have found that isolation happens slowly over time. All of a sudden you look up and realize that you are all by yourself! I am posting the “verbs” on my desk to remind me to connect, join, seek, listen, support, motivate.
Loved the conversation with Dr. Cloud today! Thanks so much! I have much to chew on – especially related to problems versus patterns. It’s obvious there are a few patterns in my leadership and my personal life that need addressed!
I am glad to be learning these principles now, but I can’t imagine how my ministry and leadership would be different today if I had drawn boundaries when I started 5 years ago. Definitely looking forward to reading this book!
Thanks so much Dan, for hosting the online seminar with Dr. Cloud. It was excellent, and I highly recommend the Thursday encore to those who did not attend.
What a great post! Isolation can often see a much needed respite, but comes at great expense. Still, when the going is going rough there is a tendency to want to withdraw and recoup…however, in the long run it can be misunderstood and has disastrous results which may take much longer to heal. Bravo on this reminder that leadership carries the responsibility of not only authority, but of setting the tone and course of an organization. Can’t do that when you go off on your own island!
Reblogged this on Leader Impact and commented:
I will be on this conference call with Dr. Henry Cloud and Dan Rockwell. I think you can still get signed up for free tomorrow (Thursday, April 11, 2013) at 1:00 pm (EDT). Boundaries for Leaders! Sounds like a great topic!
Oh wow! What a clear reminder to stay accountable to others.
Building a team of trusted leaders around you that you can be accountable to.
Ha, the greatest danger of isolation is you start believing your own thoughts.
How dangerous it can be sometimes when we have a conversation in our minds justifying our own actions.
Great leaders include others in there lifes to stay great.
I appreciated your post as well as the online seminar with Dr. Cloud today! Of special interest to me were comments about the importance of relationships and having an openness to outside influences as a leader.
Seems most appropriate and accurate describing leadership isolation and burnout that I’ve seen and experienced
Ok
Sent from my iPod
I registered for the webinar yesterday because I was so convicted not to ignore the offer any longer!!!
I have been on a year long ‘sabbatical’ as I jokingly have been calling it; some may call it isolating. Recently I overheard a friend refer to me as being ‘burnt-out’. Not me – that was shocking to overhear, less swallow.
It was confirmed to me this morning that I have created patterns in my life that I haven’t addressed properly. Thanks to you and Dr. Cloud I will highlight that confirmation along with other wisdom you shared to make the changes I need in order to get back to a level of optimum performance!! This seminar was exactly what I needed when I needed it!!
well said, i agree with you. One who tend to isolate not at all a leader…
I have enjoyed Henry Cloud’s books for years and Necessary Endings was instrumental to helping me to act differently in a destructive relationship. Listened via audio yesterday and as always gained insight to help me in business and life in general.
The root cause of isolation is pride. Leaders who isolate themselves are too proud to admit that their little mess is not working. It takes constant self-awareness, courage and HUMILITY to seek advice, get feedback, admit to someone that you are struggling. Leaders who try to maintain the facade that they have it all together will ultimately be isolated. Isolated leaders often suffer from shame. They are ashamed of their issues, again pride blocking them from the help that they need. A whole or healthy leader has integrity (which is not hiding, isolating, being gaurded and distrustful). Integrity is taken from root word integer which means whole. An isolated leader is fractured and broken and will pass that on to their followers/team/staff.
I would probably say that leaders should create the relationship beyond employee and employer. You get isolated when you fear to get hurt or offended by your team mates. I suggest connecting with them and have conversations with them even if they are trivial. That is what my boss does and it makes me feel I can connect with him…
Thanks for sharing through a webinar as well as your post. I’ve invited a couple other individuals to attend today’s webinar with Dr Cloud. This was helpful in all I do, but especially insightful for the leadership roles I play as a volunteer in the nonprofit world. I liked the 3 P’s and looking forward to reading Boundaries for Leaders book.
I just started receiving coaching last month and although I’m still a little apprehensive about the process see the validity and look forward to the progress and growth that will come. I want to be a better leader and need outside feedback to help me identify my own blind spots. Love this blog. Thank you.
I am reading “Living Your Strengths” by Albert L. Winseman D. Min., Ph.D. Donald O. Clifton, & Curt Liesveld M. Div. These authors clearly illustrate the western cultural tendency to find our weaknesses and strengthen them rather than finding our strengths and maximizing them. In doing this, we all spend our time working on ourselves (to become fully self-sufficient) and neglect our strengths. We lose the value of our own strengths and the value of the strengths of others who are also “working on their weaknesses”.
We were created to be champions at what God gifted us to do well and to rely on others with strengths in our weak areas. We are all parts of one body, dependent upon each other for balance. When we isolate ourselves, we sink in the abyss of our own weaknesses. Isolation brings disease and death. Staying connected with those who compliment our strengths and weaknesses brings health to our work and our lives.
Good stuff, as always, Dan. Keep it up!
I’m interested to learn more about this, connecting is one of those things that’s uncomfortable for me, but I see the benefits of it in my own relationships – thanks for devoting time to this topic to bring attention to yet another one of those common sense topics.
This little quote is blowing my mind: In, “Boundaries for Leaders,” Dr. Henry Cloud explains how successful leaders see repeated problems as the problem. “Problems aren’t the issue. Problems are the work.” The problem is repeated problems – patterns.
Setting limits is a great concept and establishing boudaries is so vital. Necessary Endings is a great book! Thank you.
I acknowledge my kookiness! Thank you, Dan!
Often leaders, and everyone, gets a “short-timers mentality” when they are close to retiring or leaving the company. How do they get past that or how can I help them get past that?
More great concepts from Dr. Cloud! I have appreciated his books for years. The directives to get out of pessimism and only control what I have control of to drive results will be huge for my team!
Loved the call today!! I find that most leaders are looking toward the goal , get frustrated with the worker and are not looking toward how to motivate encourage and get someone motivated to use their gifts and abilities toward the results! Thanks so much….
“Isolation feels safe but it kills” – If I had to pick the one action that has made the most improvement in my leadership abilities and in my life it would be the inclusion of community. It has made all the difference.
Thank you for hosting the webinar today. Great stuff from Dr. Cloud!
Enjoyed the simulcast today. Even though I do not have a large team, I learned much. Need to put boundaries on negative thinking and bad patterns and focus on what is important!
Thank you Dan and Henry!
Always worth my time investment to hear a word from Dr. Cloud! Practical action points and take aways that will enhance my leadership development personally and professionally! My Team will gain the most from this as I attend, inhibit and create/maintain that working memory as I lead them to our best year ever! THANKS! Looking forward to the simulacast on the 17th…I should have my free copy of Boundaries for Leaders by then! From one Leadership Freak to another!
Great interview. Thank you for taking the time to interview and ask Dr. Cloud some questions. Very informative and helpful. This book looks like it will be as good or better than Necessary Endings.
The days I keep track of the things I CAN do, rather than what I can’t, are the days I get results!
I found the webinar with Dr. Cloud to be very helpful. Thinking about the 4 parts of an effective leadership dies, but also how people can do the same things, but yet get different results because of some of the boundaries they hold. I also loved how “pessimism is the circuit breaker on action” and the need to change the thinking paradigm.
Hi Dan, the information shared was life changing….I saw flaws that I hadn’t recognized within myself that has the ability to destroy everything we are trying to accomplish. I often wondered why 2 people can be getting that same information or doing the same thing and 1 successfully completes their goal while the other struggles. God Bless you in everything you set forth to do. Thanks again for the wealth of information being shared.
Great advice both here and in Dr. Cloud’s webinar. I continually look for ways to be a better leader and create an atmosphere that will improve and encourage my team’s success. I especially liked Dr. Cloud’s comments regarding “Pessimistic and Powerless” & how to turn that around. As you stated, leadership requires “Clarity and Courage”! Thank you.
I appreciate the emphasis on coaching. I never believed that coaching was important until I got my first coach. It was amazing how many habits and opportunities I was was missing. I just needed someone to nudge me in the right direction.
I was thoroughly impressed with the webcast with Dr. Cloud today. I learned many things that I can use in pretty much every area of my life both personally and professionally. I especially appreciated how down to earth Dr. Cloud was in his analogies and stories and especially connected with the one about going to a surgeon that had not read an anatomy book. I will be chewing on all the nuggets of information I got out of this call and passing them along to others for many years to come. Thank you so much for making this available! I look forward to future webcasts!
Thanks for more exposure to great ideas- I am learning that isolation does not make and effective life after years of practicing it as a way of self defense. I need to keep hearing the message that it is essential to get in community.
Great post, and enjoyed today’s webinar too! Isolation is totally a state of mind. I’ve been a team leader in large, medium and startup companies, where you would assume that being surrounded by others makes you feel less alone. But, in the earlier days of my leadership roles, I existed as a ‘closed system’ and kept some of my deepest worries and concerns to myself. A recipe for self-destruction and burnout!
These days, although I work solo on my leadership and innovation practice, I take active and consistent steps to get coached and join leadership mastermind groups. It’s done wonders for my psyche and keeps the negative self-talk at bay.
Thanks Dan and Henry for getting the word out on this vital component of modern (self-)leadership!
(PS: Pick me, pick me for your giveaway :))
This was absolutely refreshing!! It is so empowering and crucial to be inspired and challenged to become the best person we can be! Thank you!!
When a leader becomes isolated then his/her span of influence decreases. John Maxwell has stated that “leadership is influence,” so being isolated is not leading. While we all need the quiet time to think and regroup as leaders we have to be open to new ideas from other leaders inside and outside our organization as well as other organizations. I believe connection occurs by spending time with other leaders at meetings, seminars, small groups, etc. A leader must be intentional about connecting with others and seek out those opportunities for growth.
Joining Dr. Cloud & Townsend’s coaching and finding & hiring several top coaches aligned with their great ideas to help us implement what they have taught us, has improved our performance by 10,000% in some markets, while also releasing power and energy in our companies to do more in one day than we had done in 5 months! Thank you for teaching us how to honor Christ in Business.
I too have been reading about focusing on strengths. The bottom can be a painful place when feedback is dedicated mostly to addressing weaknesses. This can make it challenging to see or feel your fit in the organization, especially at a time when the organization is struggling with its own identity (downsizing). With that challenge comes sensitivity, reflection, and introspection. I’ve seen many of my very talented peers become isolated and eventually leave. Identifying and understanding my strengths has helped me to understand and accept my weaknesses. But, most important to my mental health and ability to remain dedicated, this understanding has helped me to continually seek out my path for growth and the confidence to connect with others. In doing so, I have uncovered new resources and avenues of support I could have only dreamed of before.
It seems that I am always drifting toward isolation as a leader and your post reminds me that I must be intentional about not becoming a closed system.
Great post! Isolated leadership truly isn’t healthy, isn’t productive. I found your description to be thought provoking and interesting … more than what a short little blog entry might suggest. Thank you!! I am anxious to learn much more about Boundaries for Leaders. This is coming out just as I plan to move back into leadership and people management … what great timing! I am ready to let go of the old ways inorder to embrace what really works!
Enjoyed the webcast today with examples of real life stories applying the principles described in Dr. Cloud’s book. Great stuff!
Dr McClouds material has changed my life, both positively & professionally. The power of connection I believe is the key to so much in life. thank you for this post.
Enjoyed the webcast with Dr. Cloud. Very informative as usual. I am looking forward to reading “Boundaries for Leaders”.
What about the leader who discovers that over time, they are becoming more introverted, i.e. they draw energy from solitude. From a distance, it seems easy for extraverted leaders to be connected and elicit feedback. It takes a lot of energy for the introvert to lead and then connect as well.
Thanks for the great call. Now to get the book.
My husband is a public health educator and I am a pastor, the idea of thinking of leadership development consisting of 4 food groups really resonated with both of us! We both “preach” the importance of “feeding” our minds, bodies and spirits with good, positive and healthy things and resisting the negative things. Relationships – learning from the experts, finding a mentor/coach are building blocks for leadership skills, our spiritual health and our physical health. Learning is certainly a key and I loved how Dr. Cloud stated that if we are too busy to learn we aren’t structuring our time effectively. Making the time to meditate, to read and reflect are essential as is experience. The analogy of the medical student having head knowledge of how to operate but no experience operating is one that will stay with me. As I mentor others, I need to give them the opportunity to exercise the skills they are learning. As one of my mentors told me – the only way I was ever going to be a better preacher, was to just write sermons and preach more often. And obviously to stay on track with all 3 of these, we need a structured plan – otherwise it is too easy to let the urgent unimportant takes over our lives and/or simply neglect the work that it will take to “feed” on these 4 foods.
The part of the interview that helped me the most was when Dr. Cloud stated that boundaries are needed when the demands on a system are stronger than our internal system can handle. Wow! That put things in perspective for me. The analogy of the door on a house keeping you safe until a thief knocks it down and you need to install a stonger boundary – like an alarm system makes so much sense.
Thank you for the practical thoughts and insights! I can’t wait for the simulcast and look forward to reading your books!
The story of the frog is one I use in my risk management consulting practice. The inability to recognize the time to take action happens to all of us. A risk management discipline should require the identification of objective criteria alerting the need to take action – defined long before objectivity has left the room.
Thanks for taking the time to work through some technical issues with the conference call last week and putting together a second round of calls so that we could gain the insight that you and Dr. Cloud shared with us.
It was inspiring and I am looking forward to applying the relevant strategies in our organizaiton.
Would love to have access to this package!
I just started receiving coaching last month and although I’m still a little apprehensive about the process see the validity and look forward to the progress and growth that will come. I want to be a better leader and need outside feedback to help me identify my own blind spots. Love this blog. Thank you.
I would like to view his webcast. How can I access it?
Good article. Respect each other’s “kookiness”!
It takes a lot of energy to lead and then connect as well.