How to be a SAGE without being a Snob
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You can’t be great if you don’t grow.
Growth requires learning.
We learn and grow in relationship.
Helping others learn moves them toward their greatness.
Learning is pivotal to greatness.
“Mentoring is the act of, ‘Helping others learn.’” Chip Bell and Marshall Goldsmith in, Managers as Mentors.
Danger zone:
Chip and Marshall explain pitfalls for mentors:
- “I can help.” Eager mentors are interventionists. But growth is a function of struggle. “Here’s a test; if you ask the protégé, ‘May I help?’ and she says no, how do you feel?”
- “I know best.” Proud mentors use protégés to feed their egos. “If your protégé comes to you and says that he found someone else who might be more helpful as a mentor, how do you feel?” (Mild and momentary disappointment is normal.)
- “You need me.” All mentor-protégé relationships begin with need. Growth is moving through need to strength.
Mentoring partnerships focus on, “learner discovery and independence, in a climate that reduces boundaries and encourages risk.”
Becoming a “S.A.G.E.” mentor (from Managers as Mentors):
- “Surrendering – leveling the learning field.” Power over creates anxiety in. Growth requires freedom and courage. Successful mentors, “Pull power and authority out of the relationship.”
- “Accepting – creating a safe haven for risk taking.” Mentors bring in. “Accepting is the act of inclusion.”
- “Gifting – the core contribution of the mentor…” Mentoring is a no strings relationship, freely pouring from one cup to another. Generosity is too weak a word for mentors, they gift.
- “Extending – nurturing protégé independence.” Successful mentors push relationships beyond expected boundaries with the goal of creating an independent self-directed learner.
“Mentoring is an honor. Except for love, there is no greater gift one can give another than the gift of growth,” Chip Bell and Marshall Goldsmith in Managers as Mentors.
What makes mentor-protégé relationships go bad?
What behaviors do successful mentors exhibit?
Helping others grow, helps us grow – clearly a win-win philosophy!
As leaders we have a sacred obligation and duty to help those who work for us to grow.
The most effective mentors are servant leaders (they serve those they lead), instead of serving their own egos. Great post. Thanks!
Thought stimulating post, thank you. “Not self seeking” plays strong as a background principle.. …Not so easy in a culture that reinforces “Watch out for #1”
Watching out for #1 makes us #2 🙂 Thanks Ken
As the years go by I find that the equation Performance = Potential – Interference is useful in so many aspect of life. What Marshall does so well with leaders is identify the interference that gets in the way of being great: knowing best, helping too much and being needed are all such interferences. (I sadly don’t know Chip’s work – ….yet)
It’s not what we need to add – it’s what we need to let go of. Growing is often an act of taking away, not layering on.
Thanks for a wonderful observation. Love your equation!
It’s not mine! It comes from Timothy Gallwey, author of the Inner Game of… books
Mentoring is a two-way obligation and requires accountability on both parties
Selfless service – time old saying – the more one gives; the more one receives.
I completely agree. Mentors are supposed to help and nuture their mentees by leveraging their skills and history, not by imposing their ethos, ethics and opinions. As a mentor to young offenders, you have to gain trust first and foremost.
Great post!
It is important that mentors see, support and help nurture the aspirations of the protege, rather than projecting onto the protege their own aspirations. This is something the mentor needs to be mindful of. Their own projections or needs, even when subconscious, can derail the value of the mentoring on the protege’s development.
This, I believe, is equally important, but not often enough considered in k-8 education. Where children are often seen as vessels to be filled with knowledge, rather than emerging individuals with aspirations, passions, interests, aptitudes waiting to be recognized and cultivated.
Indeed business and schools would benefit from mentorship mindsets and from the kind of SAGES you describe!!
Thanks for sharing
Mentees should make listening first priority! When getting a feedback, try not to respond with, “Yes, I already knew that.” Mentors may test how mentees response to feedback along the way and the better they are receiving it, the more will get it.
What makes mentor-protégé relationships go bad?
When the pedestal that the mentor is placed on crumbles and the protege is left in the disappointing realization that the mentor was only a leader on paper, with more hot air than substance. There is knowledge to learn from that situation too, but one has to get past the frustration of wanting to be the best and not becoming another “invisible employee.” Growth is there but it is stunted growth. Good mentors are hard to come by and should be cherished by the organization.
Good post. I’ll take a stab at answering the two questions:
1) Mentor-protege relationships go bad when egotism and/or pride get in the way from either side. The focus of the relationship must be the accomplishment of a common goal with shared values, nothing else. A good mentor is also a good learner, and will learn from the relationship while coaching the mentee. A good mentee will be active, not passive.
2) Successful mentors are humble, competent, transparent, willing to ask forgiveness. They lead by example, tolerate but do not ignore faults, seek to help the mentee become self-sufficient, continuously model and teach stewardship of organizational goals, lifelong learners.
Great article. I particularly liked number four “extending”. I have been mentoring a long time principal for this past year and one thing I’ve gained tremendously from, has been the mentor’s drive to create my independence. In other words, set your wings and fly. I heard it once phrased as, “the purpose of a teacher is to make themselves obsolete as quickly as possible”.
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Only until you see your relationships less as a transaction and more of moral obligation to “tell your story” will this mentoring culture flourish. Too many times, management (and subordinates) see the mentoring opportunity as a way to “check the box” for their required performance elements rather than what it is truly designed to accomplish- that is, a connection between employees that fortifies engagement, and encourages healthy competition.
It comes down to being Serving Leader … being more interested in the success of the individual/organization than in your own success. It’s teaching by asking questions, providing course corrections before sailing outside the buoys while at the same time not making every decision.
It isn’t necessarily a grey beard thing. It can be seen on playgrounds, office spaces, classrooms, and dining room tables.
Ah! So very primal and basic, yet some miss this entirely. I have been “mentored” by some that want me to bring every single move and every shred of an idea to them before moving. This they say because they do not want me to “jump into a black hole”. My greatest growth has occurred while scrambling to climb out of a black hole. I strive to always place this as a priority while mentoring others. Give them direction and then get out of their way. Be ready to support and guide them through the struggles, and let them succeed. Mentoring is absolutely an honor for me.
Well once again the Wisdom of AA seems to provide an answer to the question! Imagine that, or not!!!!!!!!!!!!
Funny thing about the way God set up AA. We can only keep it if we give it away. In the Big Book it says when the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically.
Since this is a program for living and learning how to accept and live life on lifes terms it kinda sorta can apply to ones work life too!!!!! It is all about getting along with God’s other kids in some sort of way ain’t it? Ain’t it?
Just mention that lest anyone be confused we are spiritual beings having a human experience and all solutions are spiritual in nature.
Now we have context!!!!! hehe
So my Higher Power set this AA thingy up whereby the ONLY way I get to keep what I have is I HAVE to give it away. That is my command Oh Captain! Give away what was so freely given to me. Anyone but me see how brilliant that is? Got to give it away to keep it, ain’t that something?
The THINGY is it is not my business who takes it. That is my Higher Powers dealio. I follow the command given to me and leave the results up to HP. Just do the next right thing in front of my incredibly cute face is all. Keep it simple and see how that works out for you!!!!!!!
Then my humaness kicks in, part of which is my king-size ego and I get to thinking the person I think ought to smell what the rock is cooking don’t seem to be getting it! That is when the not working partought to kick in and let me know what happens when I concern myself with stuff that is none of my biz-ness. Just do the next right thing and leave the results to………………..
SO WHAT, follow the command given to me and leave the results up to you know who.
Anyway, just what is working for me 29 years and counting daily. Winning!
Not saying it will work for you. Saying if what you are thinking, doing and saying is working KEEP IT UP! If not maybe you might be willing to try something else is all.
Have a great one Dan, I am!
The Dude Abides!
I Concur!
Shifterp OUT!
Scott, I read you every day (my daily “info-tainment”) – today, you have articulated what I have felt for some time is the ultimate paradox and what the Christian faith (for me) is all about – dying in order to live, give it away and you get it, forgive and you will be forgiven. And by all means, LOVE! That indeed is the command!! Carry on, Dude!
Thank you Cathy, Bless you and may we both skip down the road to happy destiny with a song in our heart and a twinkle in our eyes.
You made my heart swell with such kind words. If I helped in some way to have you feel your faith deeper, helped you feel your each-ness in the all-ness of God nothing else I did today was more important.
If you ever get the chance check out The Rabbis Gift Know it will warm your heart.
Know I got to this late but hope you get to read this.
SP OUT!
As my old mentor used to say, “A teacher doesn’t necessarily express an opinion, s/he merely shows a way.” Ego involvement doesn’t allow for effective mentoring.
Amen!
One of the greatest “gifts” my mentors have given me over the years (and there are many!!) is not giving me the answers to all my questions, but rather asking me questions back which help me find the answers. That is true learning. I totally agree with the comment that “mentoring is an honor.” I’ve been privileged to be a mentor to a few individuals over my career and find it a rewarding experience and one that I take very seriously. There’s few things better than seeing someone you’ve had the opportunity to mentor grow and become a success.
Great read! Loved the line that mentors must “Pull power and authority out of the relationship.” So many times mentors forget to do this and it makes it so much harder to have a proper mentor relationship if there is power and authority over someone. Mentors have to be willing to allow their protégés to be challenged and make mistakes without fear.
Thank you for the daily inspiration! I’d add that leaders need to “see” people and be genuinly interested in others. Then, in the relationship that forms, open themselves up to share their gifts of knowledge and experience while also learning from the other. Every good teacher is also a student.
use caution when promoting inclusion. i have seen this distract from direction. inclusion is very helpful when used as input and feedback to assess current direction and develop future direction just dont allow it to create so much smoke that you cant find the fire.
I love the introduction paragraph – particularly the last line “Helping others learn moves them toward their greatness.” It seems that it is too easy to forget why I went into leadership (or became a mentor) in the first place. My job is to make YOU successful. I think I learned that back in my first leadership class but often forget it along the way. If I am in this job for any other reason I will not be as effective as I should.
Thanks for reminding me of this every day.
Love it, Dan! Mentors are so important at every stage, but especially at this point in my life it has been a huge boon to have wise counsel. I find it offline, but it’s helpful to have such open access to great leadership thinkers in the blogosphere.
WE need a SAGE at every stage!
I like how you said that the only gift greater than mentorship is love…because sometimes love is what fuels the mentoring relationship, or love eventually comes out of it. I am a fan of Wooden’s leadership style and the role love plays in it. Today’s post really expanded on that for me.I also see so many parallels to parenting in mentoring, not to refer to the mentee as a child, but that same thoughtful loving approach when developing them. Lastly, my favorite part about mentoring and being mentored is the moment when you step back and realize that is what is going on – Mentoring should happen naturally, and sometimes unbeknowest to the parties! I hate the term “mentoring moment” If you have to call it that, is it really? Thanks! Love this blog!
Good mentors know what their proteges need per time, and offer it without causing tension.
Any man who has a great mentor will end up great himself.
I’ve always felt that, as a leader, my greatest responsibility was to help the people on my team take the next step in their careers. I can point to specific people who took me under their wings, and it’s a priviledge to be able to do the same for others. If you’re not willing to do that, you’re in the wrong role.
Mentor also ask more questions than they offer answers. Questions allow the person to find the answers within first. Even answers are followed by questions such as: in what ways might that advance your goals? How can you use this information in ways that are specific to your needs? How can you build on and improve on this idea?
Great thoughts. I think a key attribute to mentors is humility. If you truly are a mentor it is because others have built into you. You can only give what you have been given. We must remember where we came from.
True Mentor – A guide – showing a path – indicating the obstacles and still allows you to swim your way in the ocean to success. He is like Lord Krishna to Arjun – in Bhagwad Gita,
The “presence” alone of a sage mentor automatically gives the mentee permission to grow.
I’ve had the honor to have many great mentors that have unselfishly poured from their cup to mine. The best thing I can do for them is pay it forward and do the same for others. I am all about getting people where they need to be in this life.
Mentoring is SO much like parenting – the two are almost completely the same. Lifting up my children, then gifting them everything I have so they can succeed and outshine me, is the model I try to use for mentoring my people in the workplace.
I am fairly new to mentoring – and will be doing more andere of it as my practice grows. This has been very helpful and I sightful!
Mentoring is a true win-win situation, but without following these steps it could be disastrous.
Thank you for the advice!
Love how the advice, readings, and tips can all be used in my field of work, which is athletics. Always looking for ways to get better and serve the student-athlete better and this helps. Keep up the great work.
Looking forward to reading this book as I’ve recently started to mentor a young man who is struggling to re-acclimate to being in the States after 18 months as an overseas missionary.
When a leader stops learning, they stop leading!
Mentor relationships can go bad if one party is doing it out of some perceived obligation.
Successful mentors share their mistakes and experiences to help you during your periods of growth. They don’t claim to know it all but are willing to learn with along the way.
Learning is pivotal to greatness is so true. “Leaders” who don’t read and don’t learn are doomed to be managers at best.
I so needed this! My tendency is to just “jump in and do it for them,” rather than taking the time to teach.
As a sales rep for a commercial furniture company that subsidized in the educational industry with school desks, chairs, and other educational linked furniture, I did well then real well the 2nd year in. In the 3rd year I was offered a promotion as director of sales for most of Florida. This position required me to hire sales reps, train them, and manage the territory from the balcony.
My concern was the fear of failing to feel the rush of why I am in sales. The feeling of accomplishment by helping another person or business.this was always the driving factor for me, not the commissions. With the move up, the people I would be speaking to were top level managers that would open doors for my salespeople to get in and do their job. I feared not having that feeling of directly working and helping that person who needed something.
What ended up happening was the most eye opening experience fir me and my career in sales. By coaching, training, and helping my salespeople I.Was living through them vicariously. Not only was I reading out and helping more customers through them, the feeling of pride of helping the salespeople themselves grow was a sweet success for me.
To be a mentor you have care, really care about the person before anything else. By you helping them succeed YOU are succeeding.
What makes mentor-protégé relationships go bad? I’m not sure they “go bad,” I suspect the bad ones were never good to start with. Perhaps the relationship was forced upon them in a formal program where pairs were simply matched up, or perhaps a mentee looking to check a career-advancement box did not come to the mentoring table with the correct perspective.
What behaviors do successful mentors exhibit? I agree with other commenters that having a servant-leader style seems to work well. Related to this, I think also letting the mentee “drive” the relationship (frequency of interactions, depth of guidance) is best. I also have found myself realizing that for the few people I have mentored, I learn from them as well; so recognizing the value of the relationship in both directions is important.
Interested in your comment, Lori, as we are just kicking off a mentoring program with a professional organization of which I am a member. This post was very timely, and I intend to take many of these comments to heart as we proceed – why do it if it’s destined for failure? Thanks to Dan and to all who have elaborated.
Loved the SAGE acronym .. Looks like another winner for Mr Goldsmith!
Managing is about what you can control, mentoring is about what you can unleash.
Well said.
The Greatest Sage of all time told those he was mentoring, “Go therefore and make disciples (mentor others), “showing them how to do what I showed you how to do” (my paraphrase).
I wish it were the norm rather than the exception for His followers to be doing that today.
I see two common areas where the mentoring relationship goes bad. First, if either/both don’t have specific and realistic expectations and goals regarding the relationship. Second, if the mentoring relationship doesn’t come to a conclusion (that doesn’t mean there isn’t still a relationship between the individuals, just that it changes once the goals have been achieved.)
Your still talking…. I’m just listening.
Observations…. Mentor ships are sailing… and on the rise.
On “gifting”
We need to see where we can help best and most when jumping in or just observing a protégés actions. Thinking of that protege’s growth while gifting our values and keen observations
This article hits on the most important issue of today,
How to be responsible leaders ( mentors )
In a time when we need great leaders most.
Thank you!
I have personally mentored many others. If you truly want to help others, it can make a huge difference in both of your lives.
Beginning the mentor/protege relationship is like dating or a courtship. You have to establish that and have a connection before you can move forward.
Also, having been on both sides, I personally reap just as much benefit (if not more) from being a mentor. Learning and personal growth abounds from that role.
Lots of great thoughts here, bit the pitfall of being an interventionist rang loudly for me.
Over and over again, as a leader and as a parent, I’ve seen the strategic value of not stepping in to insert my ‘help’ when the experience itself might do a much more thorough job.
‘Growth is a function of struggle’ – absolutely. The strength and balance required to walk are only developed through the process of falling down and getting back up. If parents intervened every time their toddler’s balance teetered, they’d never learn to stand alone.
Mentoring goes bad when either the mentor or the mentee put the other on a pedestal. Mentoring requires feet on the ground, and every mentor needs to be “afraid of heights.”
Successful mentors are still mentees – I can only lead to the extent that I am willingly following.
Purpling is an act of grace, a feature found in most grandmothers. “Grace” is the word we use to characterize athletes who perform effortlessly, manners that reveal refinement, and people who exude class. However, the most profound definition of grace is “undeserved love.” It means pure affection—that is, affinity without reason or expectation. Mentors eager to purple are mentors with grace. Some religions use the word “agape” to capture this charitable attitude. Agape is adoration and affection given even when unmerited.
We need to be very careful of how we respond to different situations. Last night I ran into a situation where the person needed help, but until they ‘ask for it’, they will be stuck where they are in their life.
Mentors that impacted me the most were there after I failed. They gently helped me understand the reasons I failed, and how I could do better the next time. Their sage advice has stayed with me for years.
Good timing… I have just begun a Mentor/Mentee relationship. Thanks for the new perspective on possible pitfalls. Thx, Dan.
Good stuff!
In today’s environment of extensive social media use, it is easier to share best practices among work groups and sing the praises of your mentees when they do great work. Public approval and appreciation are both powerful learning reinforcement tools for the workforce’s newest generation.
Love the line…”Mentoring is a no strings relationship, freely pouring from one cup to another.” As I mentor young leaders, Christ often humbles me with this reminder, “are you letting me fill your own cup”?
Great stuff. Why is there such resistance to the mentor ship/coaching leadership styles in the work force? I hear it all the time, “that’s a weak leader”. I don’t follow the link at all. If I am helping to develop and grow the group I am responsible for, it’s a good thing. Thanks Dan!
My thought is weak leaders say coaching and mentoring is weak.
Each of us grows when we help another grow. It’s that simple. 🙂 Thanks for the post today!
Mentoring is more than just providing answers to a protege’s questions. It’s giving them the freedom to explore ideas and meeting them on the same level to discuss and debate those ideas. It’s also acceptance when their ideas diverge from your own. Mentoring is not about creating a “mini me.” If that’s what you are hoping for, you’ve got more pride involved than you do a sincere interest in your protege’s growth.
It’s creating a balance in the relationship where you can both challenge each other to become better leaders and stronger learners.
Mentoring is one of the great ways to strength the evolution of the human race. It is ‘giving away’, ‘giving back’, ‘paying forward’ whatever term you would like to use – helping others become more of who they were created to be. Everyone wins. I tell young people to find a place in their lives for those older, sometimes much older. It is a way to accelerate their learning and their rate of growth. It takes courage to grow up and be who you are.
Best…Jim
This post provides a valuable reminder about mentorship being completely focused on the person we are serving. The beauty of mentorship is: As we serve others in their growth, we grow. Thank you, Dan! – John
Another great post, Dan. What makes mentor-protégé relationships go bad?
Sometimes the protegé just isn’t ready to move forward. Other times you see a mentor pushing too hard or fast. The more the relationship resembles a monologue, the less likely it is to become a successful transfer of leadership.
What behaviors do successful mentors exhibit?
Great question. I think the ability to resist controlling others (especially when they resist progress) is important. Additionally, we must always consider when to revise or improvise our strategy when it’s “not working”.
Great post and great discussion. I know most folks consider mentoring a one on one phenomenon. The truth is that “collective mentoring” can be a powerful tool when used in conjunction with everyone’s needs. Sometimes it is a group of 3 or 4 willing to participate to enhance each others growth and development. In today’s world seeking answers is more effective when plurality speaks. The diversity inherent in “collective mentoring” often leads to spurts of rapid growth and motivation. We yield and serve and gain more with others who share a common purpose. The experience is different but so are the outcomes. Next time a mentoring relationship appears consider the value of a team and leverage each contribution and multiply your success.
While I read almost every post I generally don’t comment as I am still working my way into leadership as opposed to being there already. I am in the position of finding a good mentor instead of letting go of a successful mentee.
Dear Dan,
I think mentor protege relationship is based on acceptance and patience. Mentor has to have patience while guiding protege whereas protege has to accept the guidance. When protege starts feeling that he knows what mentor is teaching or he knows more than the mentor, then relationship start souring. The relationship between mentor and protege is pure and not transactional. In fact, the relationship is transformational and not based on any tangible rewards. Relationship is based on mutual trust and the moment expectation supersedes trust, relationship starts turning bad. And that is why successful mentors exhibit protege concerned behavior. Mentors are careful about exhibiting any behaviour that attacks and questions trust.
When the master is no longer the student; the student is no longer the master.
Hi Dan,
I’m a big fan of Mentoring – I believe there are times when one may not even realize they are mentoring or being mentored. A formal engagement is nice, but not always necessary.
Just last week I introduced a co-worker as my former mentor and he was very surprised. Guess he didn’t realize I was siphoning every bit I could from his knowledge…
I love that you include questions to help encourage further conversation:
What behaviors do successful mentors exhibit?
I agree 100% with all of the S.A.G.E, but truly believe PATIENCE is missing from the list.:) Sometimes mentoring is a tough job and hurdles need to be overcome, patience is not only a trait for great leaders, it is a trait for great mentors as well.
Sandy
I am currently reading this book and plan to blog about it tomorrow night. One of my favorite lines ties into your pointing out how “I can help” is a “danger zone” component. It is “every knock’s a boost,” something Mark Tercek with The Nature Conservancy said. It’s true!
Mentoring, done well, is truly an art form. This post provides some great suggestions to help each of us do this better.
When I read this ““Mentoring is an honor. Except for love, there is no greater gift one can give another than the gift of growth,” Chip Bell and Marshall Goldsmith in Managers as Mentors.” I was moved – I have had many people say to me, “you have been such a good mentor to me” – this post showed me how powerful that can be!
I just became a mentor through our church mentoring program, so I was excited to read your prospective. I love the S-A-G-E principles, and see their counterparts in scripture. Thanks for a positive, thought-gripping post.
Accepting is a powerful position to stand in and a powerfully empowering action to those around you. It creates space for others to breathe, come alive and to thrive.
I read this recently, and I think it is perfect for this discussion. “Leaders should mentor another person with the goal of intentionally making that person better than themselves.” You cannot do that if you let ego get in the way. Mentoring is a selfless act. It ishould be all about the other person.
Good Stuff. Thank you
This was a great post. I am in the middle of mentoring a new leader right now and this helped me to make sure that I was applying the proper perspective. Thank you!
Take care,
Mike
Great post. Mentoring relationships are powerful for both sides – learning is constant. Something that I heard recently that really resinated with me involved the role of ‘coach’, another responsibility of a mentor. ‘Coaches are to prepare their team to take the field…remember, coaches aren’t allowed to take the field, so be sure your team is ready to ‘play the game’ with you on the sideline.’ So often it’s easier to jump in and just take care of a task/situation, but it’s our job to truly develop other’s to ‘take the field’.
Effective mentors get out of their own way and truly listen to what’s needed from them. Then let their valuable experience and wisdom speak naturally from the heart – not let the notion of “saying the right thing” mess it all up.
Thank you for putting a positive connotation back into the word ‘sage’. I really found this acronym helpful.
The author’s quote at the bottom, about Love is the key for me.
I think one of the biggest problems in mentor-protege relationships is a lack of clarity and accountability around expectations. Both parties need to be on the same page concerning how the relationship is supposed to work and what it is supposed to lead toward. So often assumptions are made, and this can lead to disappointment or frustration on either part.
Reblogged this on Leader Impact and commented:
Great, practical thoughts from the Leadership Freak on learning and leaving a legacy…
Love this idea of mentorship as fluid. Thanks!
Great Post. Mentorship can be easily overlooked as a priority in todays competitive circumstances. Very important topic.
Interesting post, I’m searching for a mentor. Looking from a mentors perspective may give new insight in what to look for
There are people who call themself “coachs” or “mentors” but they do not know the meaning of it. They are too naive or at least they don’t realize the impact that they could do in some people’s lifes. Whether you are a coach or a mentor, you have to keep in mind that this is an exchange of IDEAS between you and your protege. Experiences not only comes from you but from the other persons too.
As a Catholic priest, a GenXer now leading dozens of Millenials, I find this very helpful! It’s a good reminder about the kind of leadership that will bring the most fruit in my work, knowing that a lot of those that I lead look for a mentoring relationship to equip them instead of my GenX attitude of self-help. Thanks for the post!
Thank you for the clarity around the power differential in mentor/mentee relationships.
Thank you particularly for addressing the power differential in mentor/mentee relationships.
I find that a mentor/mentee relationship goes bad when they continue because they are accustomed to meeting. I love it when my mentees “graduate” and we just meet a few times a year to catch up.
Thanks for the post — these daily tidbits help remind me about what is important.
I was really needing to read 10 Steps to Solve Tension Between Team Mates and then I saw this article and I knew I had to read it. Thank you so much for you clear advice in an understandable format! Very applicable!!
Good post, I am a mentor to a sales person. It is hard for me to watch the struggle in front of clients. I have had a sucessful career and I love sales. I am getting better at being a second chair. Millenials have a tough time with adversity (in my experiance). Instead of persevering they give up….
I have found that when people know the heart of the leader and know he or she only wants the best for them they are more likely to allow that leader to mentor them. I have been a mentor and coach to several bivocational pastors, and it has been a joy to see them grow personally and ministerially.
When people are confident their leaders have their best interest at heart, servant leadership occurs naturally because the leader is supporting his people from below rather than lording it over them from above. It frees people to grow and succeed.
i used this post for leadership training on our ship.
-navy chief
Fantastic. Best wishes on your leadership journey.
As leaders we have a sacred obligation and duty to help those who work for us to grow.
The relationship goes bad when the mentor pushes the “gift” onto someone who doesn’t want it. Successful mentors start with the felt-needs of the protege.
So many managers feel they have the right and only way to approach a problem. Then they only teach that way with little or no explanation for why this is the right way. Not mentoring but giving proceedure. Mentoring is teaching the reasons why!
Would love to have the book. Looks awesome!
“Mentoring is an honor” – just seems to sum it up nicely.
Mentoring is an honor and a privledge few have the opportunity to participate in……learning is a gift we all should embrace.
Mentoring is giving of oneself to others. It is time-consuming, but very worthwhile. As instructional leaders, we need to nurture our mentors. They are priceless.
Definitely a two-way street! I would love to read the book to get deeper insights and improve my own mentoring abilities.
Great thoughts!
Thanks, I need to remember to forget what I want to do and remember what I want to be.
Good insights. Reminds me of great work on mentoring called “Connecting” by Bobbie Clinton
Absolutely nice! Being yourself is the best way to gain influence!
I would not have broken out of my shell to enter the ring of a greater me, a better leader for my team, if it were not for the leader you have described. From the first meeting with him it was apparent that he had an agenda not to be the expert but to be a mentor who inspired others to find their own strengths. He perched me on the edge of the nest and is daring me to take the first leap into leadership. I am immeasurably grateful to have such a mentor.
Dan,
May I use parts of your post for a mentoring session being set up for the Toronto Chapter Real Estate Institute of Canada? What recognition do you need for permission to quote your posting? The subject material is excellent as are the comments from other readers. Eugene Korneluk CPM®
Hi Eugene, feel free. Just let folks know where you got it. It’s a pleasure to serve.