Seize Your Most Powerful Leadership Moment
The most powerful leadership moment occurs when someone is vulnerable.
Leadership is influence.
Vulnerability is the channel of influence.
Image source
Vulnerability is the moment when others are crushed, lifted, inspired, or demotivated. Additionally, the more authority you have the greater your opportunity to use or abuse vulnerability.
Vulnerability is the greatest gift leaders receive.
When:
Vulnerable moments happen when others…
- Are excited over results that you believe could be better.
- Take initiative in the “wrong” area.
- Disagree with you.
- Are disrespected by high performers.
- Share personal frustrations.
- Speak from incomplete information.
- Call you out when you dropped the ball.
Bonus: Vulnerable moments happen when others reveal insecurities and fears.
Manipulation is the only option
where vulnerability doesn’t exist.
Wise leaders respect and protect vulnerability.
How:
- Explore intent. Look beyond externals and ask what’s important. Bring out the real person. Respect sincerity.
- Separate affirmations from corrections. Affirmations followed by corrections negate affirmations.
- Express belief when challenging. It’s easy to point out short falls. Powerful influence includes believing in them more than they believe in themselves.
- Honor and affirm the courage of transparency. “Thanks for saying what you really think. Keep it up.”
- Be vulnerable yourself.
Bonus: Thank, don’t excuse when you receive negative feedback.
Vulnerability or fear:
Leaders destroy positive influence when others feel the need to protect themselves. Relationships without vulnerability are driven by self-protective fear.
Respect includes voluntary vulnerability; fear expels it.
Connections of influence are built on the strength of vulnerability. Wise leaders make vulnerability safe.
How can leaders create environments where vulnerability is safe?
Vulnerability is such an important two way channel. Great examples.
Thanks Karin…I see and respect your vulnerability.
Hi Dan,
I just wanted to let you know that although I am not in Business nor planning on entering Business, I have benefited a lot from your blog. Your insights and advice have helped me improve my personal relationships as well as my performance as a student.
Thank you!
Mona, So kind of you to share an encouraging word. Best wishes with your studies.
The best way to create that environment is to clearly define the word “vulnerability” and associate it with the strength necessary to conquer the inevitable challenges, rather than a debilitating condition that must be hidden and overcompensated for at every turn. What is rewarded will be repeated.
Andy, I love the concept of directly defining that link.
Thanks Andy!
So… vulnerability = bringing our true selves to the world with kindness. ????
I’m going to ask my friends on facebook for their definitions of vulnerability: http://on.fb.me/ZFY8ud
I believe Inspiration is the channel to Leadership.
To “breathe life into is where ITS at”! Just opening the door is not taking action to walk through it? Right? Feet don’t lie, flapping gums have that capacity.
Trust grows from connecting Why’s and when trust is there I have found people feel comfortable keeping it real with me and me with them.
For me Inspiration happens when I have my own house in order and I am totally open to and available follow my Higher Powers will Serving others. Good attracts good! Law of Attraction, google it! And another thing, it is not the Law of Promotion, ah-hah moment for anyone? Anyone, Anyone, Bueller!!!!!!!!!!!!
When that is understood, people know it is a safe place to open up and be vulnerable. Just can’t get the cart before the horse. Well actually you can but how well you thinking that is gonna work?
First things first, discover and connect with Why. Kinda sorta like trying to bake a cake before mixing all the ingredients together. What is gonna happen if I just throw all the ingredients into the cake pan before cracking ther eggs, taking the flour out of the package?
Well I am gonna end up with some toasty ingredients but that don’t make a cake. Gotta mix up those ingredients starting at the beginning, First Things First, WHY!
Also for me, just my opinion, Wisdom, self knowledge means NOTHING! A person can be VERY WISE and act not on what they are so smarty pants aware of.
Congruent Leaders now THAT’s the ticket! Congruent Leaders practice what comes out of their pie-hole.
Self knowledge, any knowledge without congruent(matching) actions……..nothing, anyone hear the crickets?
Thanks Dan for giving me another chance to get the ole thinker into gear before heading out to FLOURISH!!!!!!!!!!!
Good Day!
I Concur wit my bad-self!!!!!!!! Ok really with my good self but you know what I mean!!!!!!!
Shifterp Out!
Vulnerability is good after all. I have always thought of it as a negative thing. Thanks Dan
people we work with need to be assured that we take their concerns seriously – if we don’t do this, then they will be reluctant to work with us or trust us.
We can’t just brush over them, we need to make sure we have addressed their fears.
Vulnerability can lead to incredibly meaningful, strong connections with everyone in our relationship spectrum. And these amazing opportunities for influence often start in small, unexpected ways — so you have to be alert for them (maybe that’s the “gift” part that you talk about, Dan).
For people to be vulnerable with you, you have to have proven your worthiness to be trusted with pieces of their lives that don’t get shared with just any ol’ passerby. I consider it a high honor when people feel I am trustworthy enough for them to be comfortable in being vulnerable around me. And it needs to be a two-way process for it to have lasting value.
When vulnerability is shared honestly, and in BOTH directions, amazing results occur. Relationships are stronger and a true sence of trust is built, “espre-de’corp” if you will. Great leaders, organizations, & teams are ‘now’ on they’re way to creating a real sence of community. When your people realize you don’t exspect perfection of yourself or of them, they approach problem solving fearlessly. They begin to gain the sence that no matter how big the challenge, or how sensitive the issue, something bad can be turned into something good. Without a real sence of community all the talent and skills your organization and teams possess often go un-tapped. “Thanks Dan, as always I feel ‘alil’ wiser for the wisdom you’ved shared”!!!
Ditto.
Yo Sarge. Check out Barry Wehmiller CEO bob chapman Ted talk on YouTube
Now THAT is a company that gets it
Let me know what you think if the video
I want to go to Barry Wehmiller university
SP
Thank you Scott, I’ll do just that.
Dan, vulnerability is a huge challenge in most organizations – it’s the “holding back” and “withholding” quotient. And unfortunately perception and reality have the same impact here.
I’ve been working on a product that gives Permission to individuals to speak about what is really going on – i.e. being vulnerable. Now for a bit of self promotion around something I’m passionate about.
The product is called Praise or Concern and is available at BIZgames.biz It is truly a tool that stimulates authentic conversation to show up at the table.
It is when you are vulnerable that you’re most impressionable or maleable. As a leader you must jump on these opportunities, in a positive way. This is how you create lifetime assets (not short term employees). Great article!
Vulnerability is good thing for leaders because it creates that humanistic element in you. Also it helps someone to be more vigilant of their surroundings and punctilious in how they do things. Vulnerability creates a room for improvement and bolsters one’s weaknesses.
Had a fantastic lesson today.
I do really believe in Covey’s 7 habits and i am trying to learn about leadership, day by day.
One of my peers, in my weekly one on one gave my a “situation”. As so often it had nothing to do with the project or question, but everytinhg with the people, involved.
We were talking about the perspectives, “the end in mind”, …. lots’s of nice idea’s. Then I realised it was all about the relation. It was about being open, about being so open to even be vulnerable.
It is my firm believe that a good leader is vulnerable.
To be vulnerable doesn’t mean to be weak, one can be vulnerable and strong, I think leaders shoud.
Honored you shared your journey. Thank you