But They’re Never Satisfied
People who want things just-so drive others crazy. Things seldom measure up.
Media Man:
There’s a media guy on our team who wants things done a certain way. He’s fanatical. On mornings when I’m giving presentations, I set my laptop on a small table, attach the cables, test the connection, and walk away. But that’s not good enough for “Media Man.”
When I return to the table, “Media Man” has adjusted the location of the cables. He’s always tweaking. It’s not bad when he tweaks my work. But, it’s awkward when he tweaks a teammate’s.
Just-So Man:
I held a team-formation meeting last week. The new team consists of easy going members, except one.
“Just-So Man” sat to my left. He’s tenacious about getting certain things right.
Frustrations between “Just-So Man” and easy going members will probably flare sooner or later. He’ll be frustrated about something and the rest of the team won’t.
Passionate people frustrate others.
Leader’s choice
How you deal with people like “Media Man” and “Just-So Man” determine organizational direction.
Not-good-enough creates tension. Others say, “For goodness sake! Can’t they let it go?” But…
Silence passion; embrace mediocrity.
- Respect and fuel passion even if it creates discomfort. The path to excellence is uncomfortable.
- Watch for tipping points when obsession becomes obstacle. Passionate people lose sight of the big picture. Step in, if necessary, and tell them to let it go.
- Shine lights on passionate people in public. Don’t hide tensions between those who are obsessed and those who aren’t. Honor passion and explore potential tensions.
- Ask teams to establish communication systems that mitigate tensions while fueling passions at the same time.
Passionate people take organizations further. But, they’re harder to manage. They don’t go along. And that’s just what you want, usually.
How can teams succeed when one member is fanatical in some area?
How can leaders fuel passions and avoid destructive disruption?
I’d want media man behind my presentation. You only have to have one go South due to technical difficulties before you realize how important that is. Just saying… there’s sometimes value in a bit of obession to detail. I hear you though, it’s a tricky balance so they don’t slow down the team or make others crazy. The best “media men and women” recognize their obsession and handle it quietly 😉
Thanks Karin,
I’m with you. I want someone who is obsessed behind me. But, I don’t have to work with them.
Your hint at people skills shouldn’t be missed. The more passionate I become, the less able I am to see myself. The challenge isn’t just “media man” and “just so man” it’s me, too!
“Respect and fuel passion even if it creates discomfort. The path to excellence is uncomfortable.” Love that one. I think it’s going on the board!
How true…if the old saying holds true that sometimes you have to break an egg to make an omelett, then sometimes the leader has to inject that tension into the mix to move things forward.
Thanks Colby,
I like that idea too. But it’s awkward. Sometimes it seems easier to just cool the passions. But, it seems like cooling the passions is the path to average rather than exceptional.
Great stuff today Dan big props!!
One of most famous AA stories in Big Book, Dr, Alcoholic, Addict…. Dr Paul….acceptance is the answer to all my problems. He also wrote I think his last letter that said one could take a stance as an “Interested Observer”.
Basically, if I change the way I see things, I experience these things differently.
He said he found he did not have to get emotionally entangled in for lack of a better word, “stuff”.
I have found I am only upset when I am upsetable!!! No exceptions.
If I do not want to be upset remove the “upset” button in me and POOF, I am not able to be upset! No more upset-able!!
Great reminder today Dan that my emotional state is exclusively an inside job.
Good day!!!
Shifterp back to Now!! Let others make their contribution.
Thanks Scott,
I really like: “if I change the way I see things, I experience these things differently.”
A good reminder of why a team is better than one. Thanks Dan.
Thanks Patrick!
Dear Dan,
Two category of people actually complement each other. They are in fact integral part of the organization. And both play an important role based on type of environment and culture. For example in marketing related job, media man is more preferred. Since, it is more related to creating impression and drawing the attention of others, it is needed to do show it off. There are other profession which do not draw any attention, may not need more media man. Similarly just so man make different kind of impact based on their role and nature. Some people are more easy going than others. Some people are more conscious about the way things appear to them.
And when one member is fanatical in some area, I do not find any serious problem here if project is related to creating impression or creativity. But when project is related to some innovation or scientific research, then other members may mentor fanatical person to understand and accept change that is needed.
I believe influencing through action, behavior and character is important to infuse passion and to avoid destruction.
Thanks Ajay,
Great insight. When a project is in the sweetspot of someone who is passionate we should listen to their voice with greater interest.
I enjoy how you are coming at this.
Sometimes these individuals have a minor degree of mental health problems and being particular about certain elements of their job reduces their anxieties and stresses.
Understanding we all encompass a continuum of mental health makes it easier to tolerate these individuals when we remember how “enthusiastic” we are about certain things… We all want to feel important and vital. How generous can we be to permit them that feeling? It can be our gift to that person.
Thanks Mary,
As I read your comment, I thought about my own craziness! 🙂
For any team to flourish they need both passionate people and those who just work the 9-5. Passionate people generate breakthroughs, they improve processes and they identify opportunities. The 9-5 crowd will work through the tedious tasks until they reach a point in their career where they become passionate about something. Both sides are necessary because if everyone is a passionate type A, you better be the greatest facilitator of all time to keep them from killing each other.
Thanks Dan,
In the big scheme of things we’re talking diversity and the acceptance of varying levels of passion. It’s an important issue that requires wisdom to navigate.
One thing is sure, if you expect everyone to have the same level of passion you’re going to be disappointed. And as you suggest, everyone has a passion or will probably find one at some time.
It is difficult for some team members to understand the difference between excellence and perfection. When the medium becomes more important than the message, you have reached the tipping point. I worked with a fellow awhile back who insisted that everything the company sent out was absolutely perfect. This included documents as mundane as a Statement of Work. They had to be perfect, not excellent. Every Friday afternoon (late) it was the same drill. The team would be hammering on a document that already had been excellent on Tuesday, editing all the soul out of it in pursuit of perfection. Obviously this stressed the team. More important, though, because our SOWs always just squeaked in ahead of the deadline, we started to get a reputation for poor time management. At the end of the day, the documents were going to people who merely wanted the information they contained. The medium had become more important than the message.
Thanks bimuse,
Powerful and important addition. Perfection is the enemy of progress. The inability to let something go is a real issue. Great add!
I am married to one of those media man types, You are right it is very challenging dealing with him whew!. But, like some here commented he is the one you want around when you need something done because of his attention to detail. It seems like when he compromises for those are driven crazy things go wrong.
Grrr so I just take a big breath and pay attention, (not easy) Because I am the opposite. I have to say that he needs me though because he really wants to see the other side. I bring balance, to a otherwise craziness.
Love this and all the great comments.
Thanks have a great day
Kymee ;o)
Thanks Kymee,
I appreciate you sharing your personal story. Your comment takes me well beyond this conversation to the place where celebrating differences is important even necessary for organizations to achieve exceptional.
“The path to excellence is uncomfortable.” That is a great thing to remember. We had a speaker this Sunday who said; “Most preachers comfort the afflicted, I have come to afflict the comfortable.”
Comfort does breed mediocrity, and it would be good for all team members to be reminded of that. Maybe just knowing that passion is encouraged and beneficial would help the “go-with-the-flow” team members to accept, or at least understand, the value of the “media guy” in the group.
I am passionate but also believe that valuing diversity in approaches is important. I work with someone who must have it all her way. When she fails to perform (up to her own standards in terms of her contribution to others) she simply shrugs- it is we who must measure up in our contribution to her. It doesn’t work well as we are all constantly feeling frustrated and undervalued. We are equals yet feel we are dancing to her tune. We have all proven our worth. Enough auditioning!
I’m all for supporting the needs of all different styles and teach DiSC Behavioral Styles skills so members of teams can see each other’s strengths, weaknesses and learn to stretch a bit in their acceptance of the differences…or even in their own skill set. Rather than squash the passion, they might learn to value it because it is NOT their own strength. Soon team members can actually turn to each other for the strengths of each other!
I love this this one. I have seen the great benefits of passion and how destructive it can be if the person cannot control their words and actions. I had a Director once that worked for me that was passionate about his ideas only and wouldn’t listen to others ideas regardless of the source. I had many complaints about this person and when confronted he used, “Is it wrong to care and have passion for my work”? I told him it’s not wrong but your presentation and communication with your peers seems to cause you to only care about your work and not the work of others. This person was the Director of Marketing, a servant organization within our company. He was self-serving as a manager and not serving others that his department was suppose to support. I had to let him go and moved his next level Manager into his role, She was wonderful. All he had ever told me about her was he didn’t think she was going to make it with the company, but he was the one who left and she is still a top performer.
Dan your right, they are harder to manage but sometimes you have to find out quickly how much damage they are causing below the surface and that is not always easy. Morale of this is: Passion uncontrolled can cause much seen and unseen damage to an organization, observe and evaluate quickly.
Reblogged this on Movers, Shakers, Leadership Makers.
I think there is a difference between “just so” and passion:
Passion is about the goal to achieve, and is, in my opinion, open to different approaches.
“Just so” is about setting rules, and not accepting other’s ideas.
To give an example from the kitchen: I’m passionate about baking. Often, I’ll try a recipe several times, tweaking ingredients and amounts until it is perfect. But then, I also experiment – adding new flavors, and from experience I usually get a great, novel result. My brother, on the other hand, is a “just so” person. When I bake something for him, I DON’T experiment – because even an added pinch of cinnamon will ruin the result for him.
So, in my opinion: passion is great, but “just so” is very limiting – and the very important (and difficult) task for the leader is to distinguish the one from the other!