Why Young Leaders Drive Old Leaders Crazy
Young leaders are full of piss and vinegar because they haven’t failed enough. Old leaders look down their noses and think, “You’ll smarten up after you get knocked down a few times.”
Old leaders feel superior to young leaders because young leaders haven’t paid their dues. Young leaders devalue the value of experience when they think, “Paying your dues is over-rated.”
Political capital:
Young leaders don’t appreciate what old leaders put on the line to support them. When young leaders screw up, they don’t realize they diminish the prestige of those who selected them.
Young leaders who walk away when things get hard weaken old leaders who are gutting it out.
10 Tips for young leaders:
- Make everyone around you look good. Nothing good comes from pointing out the bad in others when you’re a young leader.
- Celebrate and thank more. One strength of young leaders is dissatisfaction. But, when dissatisfaction turns negative, influence declines.
- Slow down when you feel barriers lifting. Enthusiasm and good ideas don’t lower resistance – connection does. People won’t see how smart you are when they’re protecting themselves from you.
- Use personal rather than accusatory language. “Our slow progress makes me feel trapped,” is better than, “You aren’t moving fast enough.”
- Respect and answer the fears of old leaders. You scare old leaders when you don’t appreciate their fears.
- Channel passion, enthusiasm, and excitement into focus and resolve. Calm determination has more power than vein popping enthusiasm.
- Tease out the suggestions of experienced leaders. Say something like, “So, if we go the way you suggest, the next steps are…” Old leaders love to be taken seriously.
- Don’t pressure people to get on your team. Get on theirs.
- Say what you want. “How can I gain respect?” “Will you help me gain a voice?”
- Honor experience.
How can young leaders gain a place at the table?
The other side of the coin: Looking Down on Young Leaders
The concept of Political Capital is important. It would be cool if you could expand on that one day.
Thanks MJ. I think those who have earned political capital over time appreciate the pain of losing it. Perhaps one day something will come out.
I gave a talk to some really young leaders (second graders) yesterday at my son’s school. I asked them to imagine they were creating the ideal candidate to be a child advisor on President Obama’s cabinet…. We created a picture of what we would want that child to think, feel, and do. Some of the feelings were both “mad” and “happy.” Loved it. We need young and old leaders to be both “mad” about what is wrong and “happy” and energized to change it.
Thanks Karin. You remind me that ideas are most useful when they can be understood by children.
All great points; number 2 especially hit home. When I started out I definitely fought the negativity bug that was born out of dissatisfaction and frustration. Great post as always!
Great post Dan! Good job of seeing from both sides of the table.
Thanks Reggie.
I celebrated 20 years with the same company last week. I think you have hit something that has always bothered me about how people view older and younger people in general. Education can be bought, but experience can only be earned. Drive and energy are not age dependent as evidenced by my 91 year old grandfather who still commands my utmost respect in all matters.
We can’t discount anybody because they are too young and inexperienced, they certainly know something we don’t and are not afraid to try where we failed. Technology is changing our world, they might succeed. We also can’t discount the experienced person. They know why it failed last time, which is all you need to know to overcome it this time.
Respect.
Thanks Scott. I’m a huge fan of integrating young leaders. But, we might as well get the issues out on the table.
Congrats on 20 years!
The article takes the position that ALL young leaders are disrespectful to old leaders and inexperienced. I have observed young leaders in the past and am a young leader myself. I often find that old leaders put up a wall to young leaders before young leaders even have the opportunity to gain their respect.
Old leaders are finding it difficult to keep up with todays technology and shift in leadership approach. Old leaders feel young leaders are threatening to their job security, and “the way we’ve always done things”. Where they should embrace the young leader and learn from them so they can keep up with the shifts. The old leader who uses the young leader to their advantage and learns from them can also then help mold the young leader. Each party needs to embrace an approach of learning from each other.
If I can offer any suggestions to the young leaders out there it is to try not to give up on the older leaders, even if they are doing their best to avoid you. You can learn from them, but you are also able to still teach an old dog new tricks. Older leaders are some of the most loyal people out there. If I can teach an older leader and get them just as strong as a young leader plus have their loyality – it is a huge win!
Young leaders can’t be cocky, but in order to survive with the old leaders they need to be assertive and on top of their game to earn their respect. If you don’t have the knowledge, the tact, and the strength – they wont get on board with you. You need to be prepared to work hard to earn their respect, they wont make it very easy for you – but thats part of the challenge good young leaders should always embrace.
Thanks Nicole. You’re nailing important issues in this conversation.
I did not intend to leave the impression that all young leaders are disrespectful.
Best thing for old Leaders to do is not let their minds grow old and stale!!!!
What used to work is useless when Paradigms shift.
We are going to have 3 billion new people on the Internet in the next 3 to 5 years.
A tribesman in Africa has access to more info right now than Pres. Clinton did 15 years ago!!!!
Times they are a changing. Get with the program or get left behind.
Basically everything you thought you knew about Leadership is trash. It is failing 80% of the people!!! If it were correctly called a dis-ease like it is it would be seen as an epidemic!!!!!!!!
Burn all your old books, if your Mentor don’t get it, time for a forward thinking Mentor.
We have never seen in the history of the world the changes in such a short time..in the last 20 years.
That pales in comparison to what stands before us in the next 20 years!
Dump stale thinkers, buckle up it is going to be a hell of a ride!!!
SP
EA. ps if you do not believe me go ask Kodak, oh you can’t they didn’t listen up so they are GONE!!!!
For cool info check out on Youtube FREE. It is going to be alright interview with Peter Diamandis!!!! Best 34 minutes you will spend today…..no doubt!!
Thanks Scott. The best way for old leaders not to get stale is integrate young leaders on the team. 🙂
The reluctance to give young leaders a place at the table is good indication of the direction of an organization.
Nice try Dan but no cookie!!!!
Just my opinion, don’t mean I am right!!!
Best thing for old Leaders is to keep their minds open and nimble!
Fresh new ideas could come from younger folks but I have met young people wound so tight when they go to the bathroom diamonds come out!!!
A clear indicator they are wound too tight!!
The key indicator is not age, in my opinion, it is having an open and willing mind.
SP
EA
Oh, boy, oh, boy! Great topic! As part of this conversation, can we also start a list of Tips for Old Leaders? I’d love to start (and I’m an o-o-old leader).
Thanks Scott. I need to write…Why Old Leaders Drive Young Leaders Crazy!! 🙂
I love that the underlying theme here is really “Honor”. Our society, as a whole, as lost this treasure. When we are able to acknowledge the people around us, either their character or work, without moving into the self-serving waters of flattery and butt-kissing, we embrace a powerful force that not only strengthens the individual, but our community as well. As a young leader myself (31), I’ve been blessed to be a part of a culture where those who have gone before us are not cast aside as relics, but are esteemed and valued as foundational pieces to our own health. Thanks reminding us of this, Dan!
I love this topic, Dan. I was the oldest guy in my class when I got my MBA a few years ago. I got to experience being a new leader and an old leader at the same time. Now I am neither…I found I prefer solitary pursuits over teamwork, and did not fare well as a front line manager. I may have enjoyed it more if I hadn’t spent all my political capital doing the exact opposite of your list. I made some really cool changes, but alienated many leaders in the process. As time passes, I may give it another go-around.
Thank you. I talk to a lot of young leaders. The most difficult idea I’ve had for them to embrace and realize you succinctly put, “Young leaders don’t appreciate what old leaders put on the line to support them. When young leaders screw up, they don’t realize they diminish the prestige of those who selected them.”. They will acknowledge, nod their heads and then go charge forward dishonoring those who put themselves on the line. You helped me rethink somethings this morning in my approach and followup.
Regardless of young or old . . . respect must be earned.
Dan, you have put into English the struggle between the energy & zeal of the youth vs the experience & wisdom of the mature. Keep up the great work.
I think this is excellent advice Dan. I especially like: 8.Don’t pressure people to get on your team. Get on theirs. It’s good advice, no matter one’s age!
Diana
I believe the best leadership teams have a mix of young and old. I am a dinosaur and work closely with someone who could be my child. I move cautiously (which drives her crazy) and she bounces with enthusiasm like Tigger (which makes me nervous). We respect that we each have different vantage points. I know what isn’t working and what would work better and she has the technology savvy and innovation to make it happen. Sometimes she sees issues that I totally miss because I “can’t see the forest for the trees”. She energizes me and I temper her; we are a good balance of experience and caution with innovation and energy. I value this young leader.
A team can work well with age/experience/knowledge diversity, it just requires patience, respect, and the desire to make it work. Stubborn pride and unreasonable fear will bring us to a screeching halt; that is when stagnation begins. We both have to keep our focus on the goal and bring our individual strengths together to reach it.
So I guess I would classify myself as a “middle-aged” leader. Ouch, it actually hurt to type that. However, your tips hit home for me as well. Thanks for sharing.
Striving to make those around you look good is a great point. Its way too easy to lose sight of what others are sacrificing when they stick their neck out for you. Thanks for the insightful post!
Dear Dan,
“Why young leaders drive old leaders crazy” has many perspectives. Most of them you have really described well. Some aspects that come to my mind is similar. Young leaders drive old leaders crazy could be because of just perceptual judgment from one side. In other word, young leaders just make perception based on some surface level information and underestimate old leaders and overestimate themselves. Most of the things are based on skills young leaders have acquired that old leaders may not have. One example could to technological competence. Young leaders underestimate old leaders on this parameter and also make safe assumption on many others.
On the other side, old leaders also do the same things many time. They overestimate their values and underestimate young leaders. The phenomenon generally happens when old leaders are either ignorant about their weakness or do not want accept their weaknesses.
Therefore, I strongly believe that both young and old leaders need to have empathy to understand others feelings. It is equally true that generally young leaders have not faced odd circumstances in their lives and that is why they feel more successful.
Young leaders can feel that they are more successful than old leaders but unless they have tackled some diversity in life, they may not be wise and matured.
on the other hand, young leaders are the agents of change – they aren’t bound by tradition ( and I’m older by the way ) – but they often make enemies they needed which makes their task harder.
Older organizational leaders can learn a lot from historic leaders. They can either be toppled over by a new regime, forced to step down as a result of a vote, or they can “step-aside” on their own when the time is right. In the first two situations, the older leader is “out” by no choice of his or her own. In the third case, however, the older leader comes to a realization: He or she is what they are, not what they were or used to be. The past has not defined them, destroyed, deterred, or defeated them; the past has only strengthened them for their Chapter Two in life and their new role.
What younger leaders can see and learn is that they are not as young as they used to be, yet not as old as they’re going to be. It’s true they’re older than ever. It’s also true they’re younger than they’ll ever be again. Everybody has been young before, but not everybody has been old before.
So, people “re-tire”…and people “re-tread.” Some people resign, others retreat. Most people rethink, revitalize, renew, rejuvenate, rebuild. Everyone has a Chapter Two…if we wish to author it.
How can young leaders gain a place at the table? By learning from mistakes and not repeating failures.
This is a highly accurate description of my experience at most of my workplaces. I’ve learned too many of these the hard way (sometimes more than once), but they are valuable lessons. There’s simply no alternative to respect. Challenge, disagree, question, but always respect.
Never underestimate the willingness of older leaders to serve, help and mentor young leaders who make the deliberate effort to HONOR them and their wisdom. – This from a leader currently between the two extremes. At least I like to think so at age 46…ok maybe am am an older leader now. Great post!
“Leadership” is overrated. Genuine leadership is not something that’s learned, and is much rarer. The need for this discussion reflects what I’ve seen for many years around me. There are bigger, better things to do in our short lives than to bicker over young v/s old. I’m seriously considering going back to being an individual contributor and taking orders so that there’s less confrontation and trampling of egos (including mine), and better utilization of my brain and skills to make something worthwhile rather than discuss the abstract like in a debate competition.
The best leaders, old and young, I’ve met know how to serve, give credit where it is due, create open dialogue so that everyone on the team has a voice that is heard, can inspire, mentor and know how to create and share the vision. They are not afraid to be challenged. They know how valuable a genuine thank you can be. They know how to take responsibility and know that they don’t know everything. Those leaders are few and far between. We need more of them.
Thanks for sharing – great topic. One I am quite passionate about. I don’t disagree that there are some disparities between young leaders and experienced (PC :)) leaders. From a young perspective, I would first like to offer – where is the list for top 10 of experienced leaders?! I digress…
The line, “Young leaders don’t appreciate what old leaders put on the line to support them” is an over generalization. We are not trying to fail or put experienced leaders in a compromising position. We are simply trying to prove that we have ideas to bring to the table as well…and besides, isn’t part of sticking your neck out and failing part of earning your dues, as you note?
Young leaders who walk away when things get hard weaken old leaders who are gutting it out. In response to this statement, if everyone subscribed to the “well, it is what it is” theory, nothing would change. I, for one, am glad that the younger generation believes in and expects more. Only when we start demanding things change (and proving it) will things actually change – companies who don’t value employees soon won’t have employees because the young leaders won’t stand for it. Who is okay with simply, “gutting it out.” Life is way too short and we spend way too much time at work to simply, “gut it out.”
I am disappointed that this post takes the tone that us “young kids need to respect our elders.” I subscribe to idea of authority and experience in the workforce, but experience doesn’t necessarily = the right decision every time. Young enthusiasm is what keeps a company moving forward and causes edgy discussions within the company to keep it young and fresh.
I agree that experience deserves a certain amount of respect, but so do fresh ideas. This is an issue of mutual respect and creating an environment of trust in which young leaders can optimistically believe anything is possible, while experienced generations offer lessons learned to avoid the same mistake. Each generation has a lot of value to bring to an organization. It’s not just about young leaders submitting to experienced leader authority.
Thanks for the post!
Great list for any leaders…both young and old. Thanks!
Good good good! I enjoyed #4 very much. It reminded me of another habit that can work. The use of passive voice avoiding personal pronouns altogether when possible can elevate the dialogue from personal feelings to principle. Not always possible, but when the dialogue elevates from ego to principle, it gives any leader credibility. It’s really impressive when a young leader can pull that off! Instant respect.