Five Ways to Connect with Your Beautiful Obsession
Beautiful obsession is the predecessor of greatness.
The Russian dancer, Mikhail Baryshnikov, considered to be one of the greatest ballet dancers in history, said, “Dancing is my obsession.”
Obsession leads to exceptional.
Obsessed people are interesting; balanced boring.
Everyone has an obsession. But, not everyone acknowledges it. Don’t tame it. Follow it.
Failure to acknowledge your obsession undermines meaningful contribution and devalues your individuality.
Useful:
Not all obsessions are useful.
Embrace obsession that results in service to others. I’m obsessed with leadership. Perhaps you’re obsessed with management, getting results, developing relationships, or making money.
Can you use your obsession in service to others? Follow it. Don’t balance it.
Connecting with your beautiful obsession:
- If you weren’t worried about losing your job …
- Deepest recurring frustrations or regrets.
- Recurring topics of conversation.
- Persistent interests.
- If you could make things better, what would you do?
Superiority:
The more obsessed you are, the more likely you look down on those who don’t share your obsession. What’s wrong with them?
You work to mold others into your image or you just give up on them.
Feelings of superiority – something many leaders encounter – aren’t helpful.
4 ways to be successful with your obsession:
Gather teams of obsessed individuals who:
- Speak up passionately and respectfully.
- Collaborate, but don’t compromise.
- Hold to core concerns, but remain open to alternative methods.
- Celebrate diversity. The danger of obsession is devaluing others. The person obsessed with developing people devalues the person obsessed with getting results, for example.
Remain open to other approaches, even though you’re “right.”
It’s more difficult to manage teams of obsessed individuals. But, a team of strong individuals, who share values, mission, and vision, will go further than a group of conformists.
What are the pros and cons of finding and following your obsession?
#5 embrace setbacks as opportunities. Even when you’re obsessed, it’s not easy. Stay with it.
Thanks Karin. Great add. Obsession without perseverance is frustration. 🙂
Wonderful post Dan. Although there are great points throughout, #4 stood out for me this morning:
‘Celebrate diversity. The danger of obsession is devaluing others. The person obsessed with developing people devalues the person obsessed with getting results, for example.’
This ‘was’ the case with one of the people I highly valued. I just don’t think THEY understood that I valued them. Anyway, that person is a DOER to the max. Although I used to be more focused as a doer in my past, I’ve evolved more into valuing relationships. And this is where people can really butt heads. This dynamic can be found in marriage too, not just when it comes to our occupations.
And here’s the thing, there is a ‘doing’ part of connecting in relationships that may not SEEM like ‘doing’, although it very much is an action. Connection is an action. It is just as vital of a skill as any other manual labor task or activity that we would carry out that doesn’t necessarily require another human being to accomplish.
What generally happens is the ultimate ‘doers’ devalue the connectors and those more focused on people skills and perhaps vice versa. Sometimes both wind up judging each other and miss the whole point of diversity.
Not everyone has the same function in a ‘system’. If we did, the wheel doesn’t turn. The engine doesn’t work. The pistons don’t fire. etc.
The connectors need the doers to ‘make’ something. The doers need the connectors to relate to people in order to sell what they made. (as an example)
A personal example: Coming out of nursing and leaping straight into the software industry, I didn’t know a THING about coding in order to DEVELOP software. So what could I do? I had already developed a certain measure of people skills from years working as a nurse. So that easily translated into ‘customer service.’ Along with that, I had the opportunity to basically dissect the software before the launch and wrote all of the help documentation for it prior to launch. (Same as for any software…if you click on the Help button…all the data you find to help you get to know your software. yes, that’s what I did this software)
Little by little, I learned new things about the software, basic html, etc. Once, when our small team was trying to troubleshoot an issue we were having with a new WP system, although I didn’t yet know how to WRITE any CSS, I was able to find the problem simply because I had picked up a book on it at Barnes and Nobles bookstore! (grins) It wasn’t my job to do. I was simply tired of not KNOWING enough about it whenever I had to dig into the website to handle misc things. (and relatively minor) And I was able to diagnose and solve the problem, even though was the LEAST experienced person in that regard on our team. (and the only girl ….grins)
BOTH the hard core doers AND the ‘connectors’ are needed. Both are important. Some of us are naturally going to lean into one area more strongly then another. Sometimes people get really good at both; almost like being ‘ambidextrous’ so to speak.
Back to the top regarding the person I highly valued who may not have understood that I did. I admired the persons talents because that person had talents and strengths that I don’t. Maybe that person didn’t value mine, I don’t know. I wanted to learn as much as I could yet knew I would never BE this person. Ultimately, we need to ‘connect’ with people who don’t have our strengths. Then we have the opportunity to ‘collaborate’ and put those strengths together so ‘systems’ can work together.
Thanks for jumpstarting the brain this morning Dan. (grins) And this post has officially replaced the coffee I’m not drinking anymore. (Day 11 without java!)
: )
Thanks Samantha. So glad to read part of your journey. I also find tension between doers and connectors.
My orientation toward developing people means I need to stay in touch with someone who is obsessed with results. If I’m not careful, I can allow poor results because someone is growing. I keep learning to focus on both. That’s where my results person comes in.
Sometimes all I need to do is ask myself, what would that person do, if they were making the decision.
Beautiful work Dan, one of your best.
I see no downside to connecting with ones passion.
See Huge problems settling or not figuring out what God sent YOU here to do!! Go be feel restless and discontent till you do. You got a Purpose for being here, a gift to give to Gods other kids, just like me, find it, get busy, just like me!!
Just if you do, expect to have to live in the uncomfortable zone getting things moving.
The book Three Simple Steps has helped me in ways I can never describe. I am starting a class on the 28th with Trevor Blake himself called The Physics of Success.
He came to America with 74 dollars and sold his first two companies for 400 million dollars. He is no egotistical, never done nothing, telling others what to do kind of a guy. He shares his experience. A Leader.
All proceeds of his book go to Cancer research!!
Now I got to go!! Got the first company to agree to Sponsor my Project, The Third Unlimited yesterday. Starting the conversation with hopefully the 2nd at 11:30am. Est. Y’all pray now ya hear!!
Work through the initial rough stuff and reach the state of Superplasicity, the Flow state, things get easier.
Just pick something HUGE that puts you into a state of awe with just the thought of it! Don’t quit even when you feel you cannot take one more step. Then Divine Providence steps in to help.
Just what I did and what is happening to me.
Great stuff today Dan the Man!! Stellar!!!
SP
EA
Thanks Scott. Glad to see you following your obsession. Best for the journey.
As I read your comment, I thought about the value of developing a team. My story is that it took me a long time to realize my obsession was a roadblock until I made room for others.
I am interested in any and every person who wants to help me Dan. Thanks for bringing that up. I am giving equity positions in my company away for just what particular people with particular skills bring to the table. Right now the biggest need my business partner and I have is the need for a techie person. I have my squeeze page, it says “When you start your online business would you prefer to use a system that fails 97% of the time or a system that could succeed up to 94% of the time”? I believe that will get a lot of people interested in starting businesses online to want to watch my video. They give me their email address, I give them my link to the video. 3 Billion new people coming online in the next 5 years. I want to have a way they can make money better than 3% of the time. Anyone think that is BAD?
Just need the Techie Person to step up, present themselves and their Skill Set. They are the Right person they get Equity Position.
So Yes Dan, I am all over the assembling the Team.
Also taking Company Sponsorships which just means Companies with lists are on the page with Logo’s linked to their websites. If they have 10,000 subscribers and I get 10, that is 100,000. Sponsors FOR FREE just agree to email their list with the link to the Campaign twice a week. 200,000 emails a week, 180,000 of which are not their list. Better for them than if they do not work with me? I say BETTER for them! You? 180,000 emails a week from others peoples lists could see their logo with a link to their website! Where is the downside?
Just show me……any of you the downside? Everyone WINS, all that is has to be determined is if YOU believe when new people start their online businesses, are they better off using a KNOWN system with a Guaranteed Failure rate of 97%…selling the folks “How To” info they cannot or will not figure out. Or a NEW WAY based on a business model that succeeds up to 94%. Hint, how many McDonalds you know of fail?
I just see NO downside Dan to people with websites who have lists cross promoting with me.
Do you? All they need to do is check out what I am going to do and if they believe like the first Company did, he said it is “righteous and good”. I completely agree! You?
So after checking it out, if people believe in what I am going to do, come WIN with me! Pretty simple, really.
Anyway, GREAT POST TODAY DAN, STELLAR!
SP
EA
Yep, pick that obsession wisely. 🙂
Thanks Stuartart. Your comment made me chuckle… it can be pretty dangerous to pick the wrong one.
I also thought about how our obsession picks us. That’s where some thought about how our obsession serves others comes into play.
Tis true. In my wonderful sabbatical, I discovered my true calling, in photography and writing. I obsess about them, and my learning curve is steep.
Thanks Rajiv. Love your comment because it shows that some time off / solitude give our obsession a chance to rise up and grip us.. bingo. That’s what happened to me.
I’m obsessed with using my language to encourage others, through writing and speaking. The challenge for me is marketing. I don’t like to use my language to promote “me”.
The trick is to turn my obsession into a way of life that will keep me from becoming a burden to my loved ones. I want to become an asset for my family while also living out my passion. AKA: earning a living that helps their lives. I know I am an asset to them in many other ways, but college tuition looms.
This is a work in progress. When we solve this we have the key to a very satisfying life.
Thanks Dauna. I’m thankful you shared your story. I feel your heart and respect your desires.
Self-promotion is a sitcky issue, for sure.
Keep stepping out!
Excellent (brevity is my obsession ;))
Dan, I’m getting a little tired at how good your posts are. 365 days a year, I eventually expect to see one that just sucks. Even the short one that you did when sick recently was good by turning us into the content creators. I may have to make my new obsession about how I can make just one of your posts suck without breaking the law. :p
Thanks Dan for making me realize what ‘ Obsession is all about. i am obsessed with continuously learn something new. I have become suddenly interested in Management. Leadership, Human Resource etc; even though my core area is Finance & Accounting. There is this burning desire to invent and pass on the same to prospective CA’s whom I lecture through General Management & Communication Sessions regularly. Thanks again.
I have my obsession to be certain, but I realize that to pursue it, I need the help and support of my family. Likewise, I take great pride in them and in supporting them. So although the business bug has bitten me many years ago (and continues to have its hold). I think it might be helpful to define “pursuing an obsession” to include all those things that support such pursuit, so that the pursuit is truly sustainable.
Thanks Robert. Brilliant!