5 Ways to Find the Worm
If the people you push felt powerful, they’d reject you. In their hearts they already do.
Pushing people isn’t leadership. Sometimes people need a swift kick in the pants. But, kicking, pushing, pressuring, and correcting play limited roles in leadership.
People push themselves, when you tap their inner drives
and get out of the way.
Ineffective:
What happens when you feel pressured? You dig your heels in. Others do the same thing.
They tolerate bullying because you control paychecks, promotions, and assignments. They feel powerless.
Powerless people don’t take action.
You steal people’s power when you push them. The result, you have to push them more.
Worms:
I took the kids fishing when they were little. Mindy didn’t like putting worms on the hook, so I stood nearby. Mostly, we fed sunfish.
I could have taped hammers to the hooks to beat the sunnies into submission. But, fish are timid and hammers scary.
Effective:
Effective fishing is understanding and adapting to fish.
You don’t have to convince fish to love worms.
Leading is asking, “What’s their worm?”
A fish chasing a worm feels excited, not pressured.
5 ways to find the worm:
- Adapt to others.
- Understand where “they” want to go and take them there. Align their vision with organization vision.
- Perceive the passions of others. Effective leaders are passionate about the passion of others.
- Listen and affirm more than correct.
- Make people feel powerful.
Bonus: Create safe environments. The point-of-influence happens when someone trusts you enough to lower their defenses.
When you find someone’s worm, you don’t need a hammer.
How can leaders tap into the inner drives of colleagues and teammates?
Note: I was fortunate to spend yesterday afternoon with Stan Endicott, founder of Slingshot Group. During our conversation, he illustrated enticement with a fishing story from his youth. Our conversation inspired this post. Thanks Stan!
So true, pressure generates resistance. Pull not push, give reason to encourage people to walk through the doors that leaders can open or make the other side of the door so enticing that they want to open it themselves. Leadership can be very much like selling we need to understand what the needs of our team are and how to relate our mutual needs to mutual success. I relate to the children’s story about the competition between the wind and the sun . They both wanted to get the traveller to take off his coat. The wind tried to blow it off but the traveller just pulled the coat on tighter. The sun shone gently and the traveller took the coat off all by himself.
Thanks Paula. I love a well turned phrase. “Pressure generates resistance.” That’s a clear as it gets! So glad you stopped in today.
You are right here. In the early phase of my career, I was accused of not pushing enough. Later, I was accused of pushing too much. Beyond a point, it just does not work.
Thanks Rajiv. Pushing, pressuring, etc. Does play a role. I’m thankful for the people who grabbed me by the collar and told me the truth. But, as you indicate, balance is a real art. Perhaps the response we receive indicates if we are effective? When pushing discourages people, we went to far.
Also, effective pushing is about bringing out the best in people, not just getting what we want.
BTW – When I see your avatar with the camera, it reminds me that you found your beautiful obsession. 🙂
Thanks ! Yes, I did..
Singing my Song Dan, effective or not!!
You go boy!!!
We all have a Purpose, unique like fingerprints!
All I did to find mine was work the 12 Steps. In the Big Book greatest manual for living ever written it clearly says……Having had a Spiritual Awakening as a result if working these steps…
Then says share with others.
Just have to find out what YOU are here to give. Your reason for being here.
When you find your Purpose you will be in a state if Awe. You will feel ecstatic just at the thought of your purpose!!!
This energy will attract others, when so, tell them about your gift for them!
All gloriously simple!!!
Take care D, good stuff today
Back to creating oxy everywhere I go!!!! I AM cool like that!!
SP
EA
Thanks Scott. “Find out what you are here to give.” = gold.
Yes Dan, my friend!!!! And the feelings are indescribable!!!
(edited by blog owner)
SP
EA
Great post Dan!
It feels like a similarly important message for teachers and parents.
Have fun chasing your worm today!
Lori
Thanks Lori. It sounds a little gross! 🙂
Lol!
Your metaphor, my friend!
🙂
Hello Dan, enjoyed your thoughts once again.
Managers should and can know each employee’s worm before they are hired.
Thanks Bob. Good call!
WORM – I am surprised that no one has come up with an acronym… (and also pleased that no one has come up with an acronym!)
Nobody ever washes a rental car.
I think it is as simple as that. There are a zillion metaphors around change and resistance and pressure and all that. The old Frog in the Beaker is about turning up the heat.
Yesterday, I blogged with an illustrated cartoon quote – “Behold the turtle. He only makes progress when he sticks his neck out.” (James Bryant Conant). You cannot pressure a turtle to stick its neck out — well, maybe, if you put it into a beaker and slowly heated the water.
(Yummy – turtle soup.)
Intrinsic motivation to do things is actually intrinsic. It does not come from outside influences all that much.
Good stuff. Have a fun day and leave your worm alone, if you can.
.
Thanks Scott. The most obvious things are often the most powerful. “Intrinsic motivation is intrinsic.” KaChing! .. Now if we can just believe it. 🙂
WORM… Now I want an acronym. But I can’t think of one!!
Love Stan Endicott!! He has a story for everything!!
Hi Mark. Absolutely. He said he was excited to meet me. But, the truth is, it was pure joy to spend an afternoon with him!
Great Stuff Dan. We cannot pressure one to be great, we must inspire and motivate them from with in. The worm is the “WHY” factor. -BEAST
This is some great words of wisdom. I really think that every one of us just needs a little empowerment to get over any hurdles. Power and Vision are a deadly combination