Stop Wasting Time: 10 Ways to Learn What Matters
One young leader is laid off. The other just started a new job. But, both shared the same concern. “How will I fit-in?”
Our need to fit-in reflects our need to connect, belong, and matter.
Fitting-in and standing-out need each other. Fitting-in without standing-out makes you mediocre. But, standing-out without fitting-in makes you aloof.
Do what matters:
You must know what matters before you can do what matters.
10 ways to learn what matters:
- Learn from support staff.
- Gain insights from direct reports.
- Query colleagues.
- Observe those directly over you.
- Watch how people relate to top leadership. (If you’re in the middle.)
- Discern untitled power-people. Every organization has an official chain of command and an actual. Watch who people listen to and talk about.
- Interview suppliers.
- Connect with external customers.
- Attend to board members.
- Listen to your heart.
Mistakes from the middle:
If you’re in the middle of an organization, don’t focus directly on pleasing those over you. Build productive relationships with those beside and below you.
You please top leadership by connecting with those beside and below you.
People over you want you to fit in. When you spend too much time with the boss, you neglect the people who do the work.
Mistakes from the top:
If you’re at the top of an organization, don’t neglect relationships with key board members.
4 tips for finding what matters:
- Don’t wait for those over you to show the way. Seek guidance from people doing the work. Ask support teams about reports, policies, and procedures, for example.
- Clarify relationship-expectations though behaviors, not aspirations. If new managers don’t have time for chit-chat now, they won’t have time later.
- Reflect on how you want to be known and act accordingly.
- Connect. You can’t make a difference from a distance.
How can new or future employees learn what matters in organizations?
What mistakes hurt newly hired managers and leaders?
When in doubt seek guidance from others can help immensely, although you have to overcome the fear factor of showing your insecure side! You sometimes have to take baby steps before to take the big leap in opening up your inner feelings! The downside is sometimes we are judged as insecure in reality we need clarification, were we are? What is expected of us? Who signs the paycheck? Where do I go if I fail? You start power with baby steps and you will get there! “Rome was not built in a day”, comes to mind, old saying, but so very true in many of life’s Leadership instances.
Thanks Tim. Learning to ask questions and explore issues without coming off as insecure is essential. I’m thankful you added this interesting and useful thought. Someone should write a post about that. Maybe it would be titled, “How to Not-Know without being a complete idiot” 🙂
Dear Dan,
I agree the concept of fitting-in and stand-out. It is true that one can not stand-out without fitting-in. But fitting-in is not easy when there is a mismatch between organisational values and individual beliefs. If organisation believe in maximizing profit by all possible means, people with ethical mindset may not buy-in the concept easily. Opposite is also true- when organisation believe in maximizing profit by ethical means, unethical people may not find comfortable to buy-in the concept.
so, what to do in such situations. It is better to show one’s presence by performance. It is the better way to show one’s presence. When people start feeling your presence, then depending upon the values-belief match, one can think of taking stand.
It is always better ideas to perform first and get noticed later. Even if others do not notice, you have option to convey message to the top hierarchy.
Newly hired managers and leaders make major mistake of just trying to fitting-in the system. They generally do not try to analyse where fitting-in or standing-out is right. They just look for short term success and for that fitting-in is the better strategy.
They should not cohere to such practices. They can do so for time being as long as they achieve better performance. Sooner they over perform, they should try to show their stand. Management and others will listen to them.
Thanks Ajay. Adding values and beliefs to this conversation is essential. Your suggestion to perform before preach is powerful. Don’t be too anxious to change things. Prove you are a person who is valuable to the organization first.
Hello Dan,
Given that …
● 80% of employees self-report that they are not engaged.
● 80% of managers are ill suited to effectively manage people.
● The two 80 percents are closely related.
it may be hard for an employee to understand where he fits in if he reports to one of the 80% managers.
Hi Bob, Fitting in is hard. 🙂
thanks for an insight.
Your welcome.
I love the fact that you acknowledge support staff very high up on your list of 10. The other 9 are excellent as well.
Thank you!
Thanks Bianca. One the first places I would go, if I was new to an organization, is support staff. Honor and learn from them. They are making things happen.
Fitting in depends on the organizational culture. We are all susceptible to social influences to prevent from being ostracized from “the group.” Fitting in too well increases the potential of ignoring the hard things – like the elephant in the room, ethical decision making and corporate responsibility.
Love your posts, Dan.
Thanks Peggy. Glad you pointed out a danger of fitting in too much. Love the idea that when we fit in too much we end up ignoring “hard things.”
“When you spend too much time with the boss, you neglect the people who do the work.” Spot on. People are always suspicious of the manager spending too much time with the manager.
Thanks Joe. It’s so easy to mess up in this area. We want to please the boss so we think focusing on the boss is the answer. As you say, I’m not sure I can trust you if you come off like a brown noser.
Fitting in does take some time, and though it may be a difficult process, with patience it can pay off. In life, there’s always that middle ground balance that needs to be maintained to be successful, so standing out as you fit in can also be challenging, but absolutely essential! Recognizing the need and working towards the balance is a great first step.
How can new or future employees learn what matters in organizations?
Keep up to date with news and trends, talk to current employees, observe the environment and culture , if possible.
What mistakes hurt newly hired managers and leaders?
It’s very important to observe the current culture and and make note of how things work. Changes should be rolled out over time and managers should engage employees in conversations towards those changes. Too often mangers go in with their own ides and seek to implement major changes right away, which alienates the employees and can create a bad work environment.
Thanks Nicola. Your comment is helpful. As I read, I thought about “seek first to understand, then be understood.”
I always encourage new folks to document things that were not easy to figure out and maybe should have been in some kind of “starter/newbie” document. When they know they are helping to build something that benefits others that come up behind them, they feel more comfortable asking questions and then documenting them.
If you are the new person, then mention you will be doing this the first time you encounter something that was hard to track down and understand and assess how the idea is taken. If it’s taken poorly, GET OUT NOW! 🙂
Thanks James. Great insight. New people are a wonderful opportunity for organizations to take a look at themselves. Kapow
It is always said that a person should do the right job at the right time and at the right place, my question is that, is it possible to have all these three things together?, and who is going to determine components of all three variables. In today’s world every one talks about networking and no body talks about working. I understand, in the global economy, if one wants to grow professionally networking and positioning of oneself is required to grow and get success in life, this is the common buzzword we often use, but what about those people who believe in the work and productivity and who complete the goals and targets without any fanfare and drama. A person in the organisation should be identified, recognized and awarded on the merit of his talent, productivity and his ability to pull the things. However we observed, many times this kind of people or ignored by the management and are branded as inefficient and useless. Because those who believe and work on the networking they find this people as a threat and they because of their networking create a wrong perception about those people who believe in work ethics. Now a days networking is being used as a tool to sideline the deserving candidate and fulfill one’s own devilish desire. As you rightly said a person should not only connect to people over him but beyond that and sideways, however, it is observed that generally those who are sincere workers they are generally failed in this kind attributes. how to reward this kind of people, we should structure system and process in such a manner that this kind of peopel are not ignored and they shall get their due share.
Dear Rajesh,
Great comment Rajesh, It is true that sincere and honest people are sidelined by some key people because they are viewed as competent. In-fact, they project such people as incompetent and rogue. It is really prevalent practices in most of the organisation. That is the reason, why only deserving and honest people leave the system. Those who are incompetent, stay for longer period of times, and unfortunately govern the system. So, unfortunate.
I think this is systematic failure.
“fitting-in and standing-out need each other; fitting-in without standing out makes you mediocre…” – this is one of the powerful statements I’ve learned today. thanks sir Dan!
How many leaders here have asked or invited for input from your staff…listened to their suggestions…then engaged them in a collaborative effort to try any of their suggestions? What an amazing thing happens with everyone involved, and with the business, when this happens! Fortunately, I’ve had the great benefit of working with/under several great leaders.