How to Let Go and Hang On
“When you’re at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.” Maybe not!
What if it’s time to let go?
It takes more wisdom to let go than hang on.
Desperation makes you hang on.
Distress persists.
Despair sets in.
Let go:
During distress you often hang on to what you should let go.
- Hope. You hoped to earn the VP slot. But, they brought in an outsider. The longer you hope for that position the more time you’ll waste. I know the COO of a hospital who was passed over twice. She stopped hoping for the position and resolved to do a great job where she was. Eventually, they asked her to become COO.
- Hostility. Lashing out at those who let you down is living in the past.
- Bitterness. You received less than you deserved. Leaders dedicated to giving more than they take always receive less than they deserve.
When your mind’s set on one thing it can’t consider another. Let go.
Hang on:
- Reflection. You reflect too much on others, during distress, and too little on yourself. Reflect on who you are and, more important, who you want to be. Rise to your noble self.
- Connection. Connect over the future not the past. Learn from those who have already reached what you’re reaching for. Bitter winds invite you to build barriers. You may need to rehash disappointments for a while, but don’t stir that pot too long. We all know people who destroyed their future by circling the past.
- Action. Any reasonable action is better than crying in your soup. Take a small step toward your future every day. Your future is built by taking action not thinking thoughts.
When you’re up against the wall, stop doing things that got you there.
What can leaders do when they’re at the end of the rope?
“Bitterness. You received less than you deserved. Leaders dedicated to giving more than they take always receive less than they deserve.” This is a wonderful observation. And it fits with the idea of service. If I’m servant to others I don’t live for the accolades but for the service itself. That’s true love. Not what I get, but what I give.
Thanks Pete. Glad you noticed that sentence. It made me feel a bit hypocritical when I get bitter because I’m giving more than others.
Mind you, I’m not for abuse. I am for service.
And this can apply in a marriage also. Bitterness toward a spouse when one thinks he or she is doing all the giving.
You make me think about the importance of focusing more on what we give than what we get.
We are all servants just different levels. great post as always Dan, I like Pete’s marriage application as well, needs to be a joint effort with marriage and life!
Thanks Tim. Yes, the marriage application is one place the rubber hits the road. Here’s to a great day.
Dear Dan,
A very relevant post Dan.
People believe more on hang on than to let go. They develop hope, as you have mentioned. This satisfy themselves with the hope created. They stop exploring. Initially they may find it better ideas, but soon they start suffocating. They question their hope. That is the point they make a mistake. They look for outside for their growth. The fact is that, they should look inside for outside growth. Those who look inside do not develop attachment for the present situation. They believe in letting go. One should understand that it is easy to make one more powerful by working on self development rather than depending on someone to make us.
It is really important to note that you do not need to please or splurge on those who let you down.
Many times, when you do not see anything, just let go. Believe in God. When people reach at the top, they are either disconnected with people or keep connecting with people. And this is a choice. Those who keep connected enjoy their effort and success.
Thanks Dr. Gupta. Yes, we hold hanging on in high regard. And, it is important to hang on. But, sometimes we should let go.
Really like the expression, “look inside for outside growth.”
I appreciate the thought that when you hang on, the tendency is to stop exploring. That is so true – the focus, as stated here, becomes the hope that’s been created. Incredible insight – thank you!
I decided yesterday that my thought for the week needed to be “How Important Is It?” as I feel myself getting sucked into secondary, less critical issues in the face of a daunting workload.
Letting go is such an important part of figuring out where we’re going to hang our hat, so to speak, for the day…
Thanks to all for the contributions and wisdom.
Thanks KB. Great question! I really appreciate the issue of getting “sucked into” things. So true.
Dan, you said it so well there is no need for me to add anything!
Jimmy Collins
Thanks Jimmy. I’m still glad you stopped in to be a voice of encouragement!
Dan, I shared it without comment.
Jimmy
When I’m speaking to a group there is almost always someone who will come up afterwards and say something like, “It was like you were inside my head thinking my thoughts. You were really talking to ME today.” I love when that happens. I know I was brought there especially for that person. (and probably a few others that don’t come up).
Well, Dan. You were speaking to ME today. I was the reason you wrote this post.
Thanks Dauna! You have my respect for your candor and passion. Best for the journey.
Dan, your “Let Go, Hang On” theme today is rather brilliant and profound. Plato spoke to it many years ago, and Lawrence J. Peters—author of the Peter Principle—in the 1950’s also believed it was significant by saying: “The marksman hits the mark partly by pulling, partly by letting go.”
There’s no doubt we must make the most of all that comes–and the least of all that goes. Things don’t—and LIFE doesn’t—happen “to” us, but “for” us. It was Peter’s contention that people rise to positions of their greatest level of “incompetence.” But, when faced with trying times and the “known” facts are seemingly against us, we must remember all the known facts are not all the facts, certainly not all God knows. So, it’s okay for us NOT to know something—for it is our faith God knows everything. Just because we don’t have answer… does not mean God doesn’t have an answer. When we do all we can, God does all we CAN’T.
With respect to working for reward and your “Let Go, Hang On” theme, Plato was confronted with this question: Is it condescension for genius to be the companion of fortune,” or in other words—is it okay for a “master worker” to expect to be paid for excellent work?
Plato answered: God is not loved without reward: God is loved without the “thought” of reward.
Thanks Books. “The marksman hits the mark partly by pulling, partly by letting go.” very cool quote!
Glad you brought up the reward side of things. It’s the other side of the coin.
Thank you! I needed this today!
Best wishes Darlise!
sometimes we hang on in our “comfort zone” even if it’s not productive, or where we should focus. letting go, may drop us in the frying pan, but often that’s where we need to focus to improve.
Thanks Bill. So true. The known present, even if it’s uncomfortable, is often more comfortable than the unknown.
Rope burn takes a long time to heal. But it can only heal when you let go. Still learning this lesson. As a servant leader, I forget that I can say “no” to those I serve. Thank you for this helpful reminder!
1.Reflection. You reflect too much on others, during distress, and too little on yourself. Reflect on who you are and, more important, who you want to be. Rise to your noble self.
The above point really spoke to me Dan. No one can guess what the others are thinking and feeling so why not just work on yourself.
Diana
It is better to hang on for some time in the adverse condition and look inside for the solution. this is the period of testing and preservance. I think, when the situation is not under our control , this is the time to maintain the low profile and keep on doing the right work without keeping the morale low. Many a times, it happens that despite our eligibility and ability we do not get the due share and the less talented and capable people walk away with prestige and honor which they do not actually deserve. This is the time when we should keep ourselves cool, calm and composed and face the situation.
I have JUST the cartoon for you on this one. http://poemsontheworkplace.com/2013/08/27/making-progress-means-flying-higher/
Have fun out there!
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Oh great this what I need now! Sometimes, we have to let go of the things that we keep on holding for the longest time because it will give us the complete happiness we need 🙂
The Girl Behind the Pen
So have been here, moving on with hope. I had to let go when I realized that the work of God was undoing the work of God in me. Had to. Cut the cord of despair and started looking towards the hope of my God given abilities and dreams. Revolutionary! Thank you for this inspiring post!
Janelle
http://www.janellekeith.com
From a job perspective – one should roughly plan on what you would like to do if all goes well, and also what you would like to do if things don’t go in your favor – BEFORE you start . If you have that plan before you commit (to a new job, new task etc) , then when things don’t work – there is limited bitterness and you know exactly what to do . When people try to react after bad things happen – it is done under emotional duress and hence harder to make a good decision .
Good article Dan, although we do need to ‘think the thoughts’ before we can take the action. 😉