10 Rules for Moving Forward without Permission
The path of least resistance is a long path to mediocrity.
All leaders press through resistance. If there’s no resistance you’re not reaching high enough.
Don’t play dead if it really matters.
4 rules for building a relationship with the boss:
If you already feel out in the cold, don’t even think about moving forward without permission. You have bigger problems and they’re probably about you.
- Give support and loyalty. Are you constantly adversarial?
- Focus on shared concerns. If your new initiative is mostly about your glory, everyone sees it. No one will support it.
- Support teammates and colleagues. Are you a team player or a Lone Ranger?
- Earn respect. Do you have a reputation of being a person who follows through?
Cautious boss:
The boss has more to lose than you. The sooner you embrace this idea the more influence you gain.
Fearful bosses throw people under the bus to protect themselves.
10 rules for moving forward without permission:
- Be nice! Sulking when someone says no isn’t positive influence. Sulking says you’re weak, needy, and selfish.
- Keep delivering great results. Pulling back doesn’t encourage others to push for your cause.
- Don’t let it go. Leaders are tenacious.
- Don’t sneak around. Let the boss know you’re still exploring the idea.
- Move forward slowly and in small steps. Don’t bet the farm.
- Create validating results and find supporting data.
- Find stories of others who are succeeding at what you want to do.
- Discern and answer fears, both spoken and unspoken.
- Avoid blame. “If you weren’t so blind or fearful…” isn’t going to win you any friends.
- Break your idea into small increments and ask permission to move forward on one.
Bonus: Make friends with people who have succeeded with the skill of acting without permission.
Organizations need disruption not destruction. Press forward but don’t do more damage than good.
How can leaders press forward without permission?
What dangers should be avoided?
If you make a mistake own up to it!
Ask for forgiveness, learn by your mistake and hope that does not happen repeatedly, you know were you will end up if mistakes persist..
Errors happen just be prepared for the consequences if you are the root cause.
Research your options before committing to questionable actions.
When in doubt seek guidance from others.
Thanks Tim. Great add! We can trust people who “own up.” I don’t want to put any personally collateral on the line for someone who runs for cover when things go bad.
Be Contraction – relationship! Contraction versus Expanding
Lead at eye level – does it work? How?
Never take criticism personally – this is sometimes very difficult,
but very important – to get to the core of the task – and the solution!
I have asked myself: What is to me, the word or term “relationship”
– in terms of leadership?
You pull on another – or you lead really?
You control it – or you work together?
Who has the power? Who is leading? How exerts power – without damage?
What expectations do you have and what you want to fulfill in return?
Should it be as you want it to?
Or the other person may be – as he is – evolve so as he can
– without excessive claims or overtaxing? What about me?
Have you yourself – as you want it to?
That’s a really good question!
I also think of “promoting” – “calling” – “desire” – and “motivate”!
Strength, energy, balance, justice, appreciation and respect
– but it all starts with us yourself!
Krishnamurti says:
“Relationship is the mirror in which we see ourselves as we are”
This applies to all forms of relationship!
A challenge is to put yourself further question(s) – that I should
automatically do as leader, right?
How do you communicate?
What do you communicate in silence?
What nonverbal messages you send out to respond to the other?
You smile when you’re sad or angry?
Can you see yourself in the eyes – and you feel really good
or you prefer to run away?
Take the time for the responses!
Can I watch neutral, on the meta-level, while I act?
Is neutral observe that even possible?
You’ll find many answers received by your ego …
but if you stay in this exercise, the will come “real” answer.
I found the approach, we will push forward to our true core
– very interesting – meaningful.
Grow with the tasks. Not destroy – rebuild – create!
Rather go small steps – gives courage – instead of being someone give up!
Thanks Dan – again very enriching 😉
Wish you all a happy weekend – Beate
Thanks Beate. Tons of stuff in your comment. It looks like you’ve thought about this before. The expression “Lead at eye level” is fascinating. It seems to mean lead in ways where results and methods are clearly visible to all involved. I’ve never heard that before. Like it.
Yes, I did it – I thought about it a long time before 🙂
Dan, I was once a time – working as an art-director …
Leader of a big design project – involved in huge decisions – we had a 7 million etat
for development and creating – 3 month close timeline! – My biggest one – ups …uah!
After a successful day, we drunk in the hotel lobby together a couple of beers
(team-motivation) and we had a little constructive discussions!
I asked my team, if there is anybody who like to do my job – and what they would change?
And I asked, too – and for sure – I was smiling and joking, but also if someone think,
he will do it better than me, they should tell me!
All they had the same opinion – I lead them very good – they stand behind me closed!
No one wanted to lead and bear responsibility – and no one wanted to switch with me
and they like it a lot, because I lead them at eye level! 😉
There I had a “Click” in this moment in my mind!
They feel recognized and feel respected …
Yes you´re right Dan – I always try to communicate very clear – they´re involved all the time!
I share the information and I expected always easily and flexible action/reaction.
Time is money and in a project with a short timeline – each day – each hour count!
Clarity is giving them an importance and esteem – and for me it means more safeness.
And yes, they carry the success with me!
“It seems to mean lead in ways where results and methods are clearly visible to all involved!”
I had always characterized more advantages than disadvantages – I was not afraid,
my team had already years earlier proved to be loyal!
Yes, you have it easier then .-)
… and another advantage is, I can focus on my ideas and my clients,
the team added me!
Thank you for your – Like it – Beate
… and your attention 😉 – alway an open spirit <3
Love the story! Those moments when things click are pure joy.
Think of mistakes as creative detours and learn from them without berating yourself and others.
Thanks Beth. I get the feel of excuse-making as one aspect of berating. Thanks for the thought.
Know your boundaries and limits before stepping without permission, may alleviate the turmoil of making a big mistake.
Thanks Tim. The idea of limits makes lots of sense. If you’re stepping out, are you functioning within your sweet spot?
I think your advice here can be somewhat summed up with “Don’t try acting without permission if you are a selfish taker.” Of course, recognizing yourself as a taker might not be as easy as it sounds. Next blog topic, maybe?
Thanks James. Useful summary statement. Trying to convince someone they are a selfish taker is a no win situation. Who wants to see themselves as selfish and egotistical….??? NOT THOSE who are selfish and egotistical. 🙂 I wonder if holding a mirror up helps? Maybe the post is the 10 or 15 top marks of a selfish taker? Food for thought. I think I’ll post the question on Facebook.
Build trust through good relationships and good work first.A good track record removes doubt.
Thanks Joe. Clear and simple!
Don’t play dead if it really matters, even if you have been thrown under and run over by the bus. 🙂
Thanks Vicki. That’s courageous leadership (IF THE ISSUE REALLY MATTERS). And of course, be ready for any consequences, good or bad.
Thanks for the wonderful post, Dan. I’ve always applied what you wrote as the second-in-command and I’ve won the respect and friendship of my boss consequently. I’ll share this post with my second-in-command when the time comes if he / she is constantly adversarial with me 😄
Thanks Albert. Congratulations on a fulfilling relationship with the boss. Best wishes for the future. It sounds like it would be a privilege to work for you.
Dear Dan,
I appreciate three to one rule- say at least three positive for one negative. Inflexible bosses do not want to take suggestions. They need appreciation for their work. They are also not ready to accept what they do not have. They are fearful, that is why those who help them, get benefited. They like people who suggest them, appreciate their effort and provide them psychological safety. Those who questions are threat to them. They do not like such people. So, the key is to provide them feeling of safety.
The strength of rigid inflexibility is predictability- people can predict the future of the people and organisation as long as bosses remain in the system. They will impede the growth. For them, it is strength, but for ambitious people, it is the weaknesses.
The best way to deal with such inflexibility is to help, gain trust and initiate change. As suggested by you, people need to help the bosses and win their trust. When they feel, you are not threat to them, convince them for change. It is equally important to take responsibility on behalf of them. They you can start change and win their inflexible attitudes and mind sets.