4 Ways to Deal with what Really Drives Leaders Crazy
Patterns, not isolated incidents, drive you crazy.
Three missed deadlines are worse than one. But, it’s likely you overreacted to the last occurance, if you didn’t respond to the first.
Leaders who avoid issues end up saying “never” and “always.”
Pattern recognition:
“You’re always late,” is, for example, an overreaction to a disappointing pattern. The most recent violation is a distraction, forget about it.
Don’t respond to an isolated instance when patterns are the problem.
Successful leaders focus on patterns. “How can we deal with the pattern of missed deadlines,” for example. Don’t worry about the last missed deadline.
Predicting negative patterns:
Negative patterns begin with excuse-making.
An excuse is the first step toward repeating a mistake. When failure is met with excuses, you can be certain you’ll see the same failure again. Eventually heated confrontation or crisis erupts.
Pattern recognition enables leaders to solve problems before catastrophe sets in.
Big vs. small:
Dealing with isolated events wastes time, energy, and momentum. Avoid the short-term narrow view.
Successful leaders see forests; failures see trees.
4 ways to deal with negative patterns:.
- Deal with violations, mistakes, or disappointments early. Established patterns are hard to break.
- Think next time. Last time feels like punishment. Next time feels like progress.
- Identify what needs to stop, start, or change in order to prevent patterns of failure from recurring.
- Establish systems, procedures, and accountability. Reluctance to intervene means you’ll see the same issues again.
The patterns you tolerate, confront, or create determine success or failure.
What happens when leaders focus on isolated instances rather than patterns?
How can leaders identify and deal with negative patterns?
Addressing the patterns and thinking “next time” are powerful. Thanks, Dan.
Thanks Steven. I find the past is magnetic. I have to intentionally turn to the future. When I do, I feel energized. Working toward is better than working away.
I know individual contributors feel a great injustice when their team leaders berate them with accusations of “always being late”, whether it’s late to a meeting, late turning in a project plan, or late arriving to work. Even my wife has accused me of “always” leaving a certain light on in the house and I’ve had to correct by saying, “that feels unfair or perhaps unconscious selective memory, because I can recall many times I’ve turned the light off this past week, you just notice the few times I’ve left it on.” GRRRRR!
I would say it’s also important to recognize that as a leader you may be nitpicking b/c of some negative behavior that is a pet peeve for you. Perhaps your own father/mother or a former boss became emotional over the same occassional failure. I know I repeat the same frustrations with my child that my father showed with me… it’s human nature unfortunately. Our brains are wired to learn things and repeat them when we get in the same situation as a prior mentor, whether that’s positive or negative.
It’s OK to still talk to your team member about that pet peeve, just be honest about it being a weird quirk or yours and that you’d appreciate if they understand when you seem irrationally upset and perhaps point it out (after the fact, when cooler heads prevail).
Thanks James. Your comment helped me see how others feel unappreciated and disrespected by “always” and “never.”
As soon as we bring all the strong feels we have about a negative pattern to the last instance, we are putting way too much emotional energy into the conversation. Lines are drawn and little if anything gets done.
Great thoughts, James. This post made me think of parenting skills being similar to these points. I think you’re on target with being honest with colleagues about pet peeves, it makes the situation human, personal and more amicable than feeling blamed or chided.
Dan, Big Gracias for the post, Homerun!
In 1. I would add, Establised Values & Principles are an expectation not a negotiation. No try, only commitment.
You Rock!
Mark
Thanks Mark. Even though “commitment” is a hard word to swallow, we can’t succeed without it. That goes double for commitment to shared values.
Commitment is a decision you don’t have to keep making.
Dear Dan,
An interesting, thought-provoking blog! Detecting negative patterns at an early stage is crucial and this can be possible if you are driven by good systems & procedures. Man related issues can be known if you have a good listening ear and the people-centric culture where the genuine issues are conveyed in absolute faith to get quick solutions.
The leader needs to like and value his team of followers and should encourage them to give their best in achieving the pre-set goals collectively.
Thanks Dr. Asher. I’m glad you brought up systems. They can be helpful in identifying deviance. After a few occurrences, you have a pattern.
One of the most insightful and helpful blogposts I’ve read in a while, and I read a lot. Well done!
Thanks Dave. A good word feels good!
Love, love, love this post! Something I reflect on a lot is “All success is pattern recognition” (I think I first heard it from Larry Page @Google). It’s made me look differently at the way I live my life.
The only thing I can contribute of any value is In number 3 “Identify what needs to stop, start, or change in order to prevent patterns of failure from recurring.” Even in negative patterns, I’d also identify what needs to continue to ensure patterns of success are recurring. No-one is doing everything wrong, all the time. Sometimes if you just help them do more of what they are doing right, they do less of the wrong. And even those doing the right things have times when they need encouragement to continue.
Continue doing these posts – they’re awesome!