How Positive Thinking Really Works
I start feeling negative when I hear, “Stop thinking negative thoughts.”
Positive thinking is important. Successful leaders are optimistic about success. But, positive thinking that results in fantasies about easy success are ridiculous.
If success is as easy as imagining it, why isn’t everyone more successful? Frankly, I never imagined my greatest successes.
Positive thinking is part of success, it isn’t success on it’s own.
When the path ahead is difficult, imagining it’s easy is worse than foolish, it’s dangerous. One way you know you’re on a noble path is it’s filled with challenges, obstacles, and problems.
How positive thinking really works:
I just read an article on HBR that offers a working alternative to the silly idea that you can make something real by imagining it.
Wish: Close your eyes and imagine a wish that’s attainable. Take time to imagine it happening.
Outcome: Imagine if that wish came true.
Obstacles: Think of the main obstacle inside you that might stand in the way of you attaining your wish. Mull the dark side over for awhile.
Plan: If faced with the obstacle you imagined, what specific action will you take?
WOOP:
- Energizes you to work toward attainable goals.
- Gives direction on the path forward.
- Increases engagement.
- Enables disengagement from unrealistic wishes.
- Allows the pursuit of more promising endeavors rather than frustration with unattainable goals.
“Although positive thinking feels good in the moment, it often bears a false promise. Only when it’s paired with a clear view of potential obstacles will it consistently produce desirable results.” Gabriele Oettingen, author of, “Rethinking Positive Thinking.”
What are the dangers of positive thinking?
How can leaders tap into the power of positive thinking?
Hi Dan
Thanks for your daily posts. Your thoughts are deeply inspiring me for my leadership development work. Chapeau! Herzlicher Gruss aus Zürich / Switzerland Caspar
Thanks Caspar. I’m thankful to be on the journey with you. Cheers
A few years back I encountered this helpful video called Smile or Die by RSA Animate.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5um8QWWRvo
For clarification, I’m not against problem solving and solutions. Accepting reality of a situation so we know 1) what we are really dealing with and 2) what we have to work with to find solutions is not ‘negative’. Yet people deeply entrenched in what I’ve termed over the years as ‘positive pop psychology’ is that looking at ‘what is wrong’ is negative. And as someone who spent years in both the military and healthcare, assessing reality is not negative…it’s VITAL in order to be able to deal with things. i.e. accidents, injuries, etc.
When you had your car accident, the last thing in the world you needed was a group of positive thinkers on the scene. You needed people who could accurately assess the reality of your situation, accurately assess the TRUE extent of your wounds and injuries so that you could be properly treated.
If we aren’t willing to look at the problem, wounds and injuries are left untreated and guess how much that helps solve problems or heal people? Or a business, etc?
DENIAL and avoidance are the two tell-tale hallmarks of the positive movement.
Which in reality, turns out to be negative. Because they are the group that isn’t willing to deal with anything. And leave a lot of damaged people in their wake.
And here’s how I see it. I’m POSITIVE we kind find some solutions if we are willing to look at the reality of our situations. But not until then.
Thanks for sharing.
Thanks Samantha. I appreciate how you bring value to the conversation. Your reminder of the accident is a healthy application of facing the dark side while pressing toward solutions. One comes before the others. Cheers
This draws a neat parallel to some recent meditation practice I had. When you run or distract yourself from a feeling or action you know you need to face it keeps coming back. But when you deal with it head on, and even let yourself wallow a bit in the anxiety or fear or whatever, it’s much easier to move on and not have it resurface constantly to the point of distraction.
Thanks James. It seems true, in my experience, that the stuff we hide from finds us. Scary thought. Thanks for sharing your journey. It’s an encouragement.
“Wallow in it a bit” — golden!
Excellent points and observations – when we think of dreaming, we often think only of dreaming big. Rather than think of this plan for the ultimate dream – getting a job – we would apply it to a smaller dream – networking with 5 people this week. Recognizing these smaller dreams and achievements roll-up into our larger dream and achievement will help us succeed.
mp/m
Thanks Mike. Wow! I love where you took your comment. When all we think of is the big dream we often find ourselves overwhelmed. Network with 5 people — Bingo!
Hi Dan
I’m not sure the dangers are any greater than the inherent foibles of the person not doing things thought in the first place.
I feel this has clarified for me that effective positive thinking is an outcome of success as much if not more than a precursor.
I have an unreasonably optimistic colleague who often thinks I’m a”glass half empty” person, my reality tells me I am very positive whilst very aware of the reality of what may stand in the way, and almost always invigorated by the thrill of moving such obstacles out of the way.
All of that driven by the simple belief of what is possible Ann’s how I can contribute. Every lap around improves my ability to think more positively about the next lap
Thanks Dean. Richard
Thank you Richard. I sure enjoy reading about your journey and how you navigate. I hadn’t thought about the momentum and sense of empowerment that we feel when we make real progress. I think we develop a certain toughness as the result of running laps. 🙂
Hi Dan
This post made my day. I have been constantly placed under the “negative person category” when I present a problem. It seems that when people cannot give a true proactive solution to a problem, they use the “positive thinking” approach.
I have been waiting for the “Positive Fairy” to come and improve my team’s situation. I believe I am a positive person that is strong enough to see we are a strong team in need of a strong manager with true leadership to bring us up to the potential that we can achieve.
Yet, every time an opinion is given…it is condemned as negative and people keep getting discourage because the Positive Fairy is not making her grand entrance.
How can we purge the fairy tales out of the workplace?
Thanks Lily. “Positive Fairy” … Oh Yeah. Colorful. 🙂
When I think about my own journey, I haven’t always appreciated the people who worry about how to actually get something done. I think about the dream. They think about what it takes to get there. Learning to navigate tension between dreamers and doers has been an important part of my leadership journey. One that seems to apply here. Thanks again.
Good stuff.
I often use a future-focus approach to visioning, saying something along the lines of, “It is 2020 and your group has been recognized as (having accomplished something great). What things did you do to reach those lofty goals?”
This approach tends to put people into the frame of having done it, and thus having overcome roadblocks and having used teamwork and similar. I have used it with retail companies and schools and telemarketing groups and use it Thursday with 30 senior insurance company executives to help frame up a discussion about implementing new technology in a more impactful way.
The brain will go to the negative, it tends to sort for avoidance kinds of things. “Don’t” is not a useful thinking framework — the brain appears not to understand that.
“Don’t hit that rock and don’t let your kayak go to the right” often work just as well as “Don’t think about elephants.” We teach people to specifically NOT look at obstacles, such as holes in the pavement when riding a bicycle since the body will tend to move toward things we are looking at. Look at where you want to go, not what you want to avoid.
That has positive impacts on positive thinking, I would think. Look at where you want to go and frame up the difficulties from the viewpoint that they have already been accomplished. That shift in perspective is often very useful.
All those other comments were great. Chunking things down is an excellent strategy for problem solving and post-success reviews are also supportive of future thinking positive.
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Thanks Dr. Scott. Your addition of the gravity of negativity is well taken. “Don’t think about pink elephants” only makes us think about pink elephants.
I heard Ben Zander talking about the idea that you so successfully employ. “What did you do to get there” It sure helps with our thinking! Great stuff
Dan, I think Positive Thinking has been getting a bad rap for a long,long time! It has never been intended to be used the way many are today. Many New Agers espouse the so-called “Law of Attraction” and say, if you can just visualize it and believe it you will naturally attract to you those things. Positive Thinking isn’t just visualization, it is belief that inspires action.
Norman Vincent Peale, arguably the “Father” of Positive Thinking himself said (and I’m paraphrasing) that positive thinking is not just a rose-colored wishing for better things; it is a belief that you make something good come from every situation. The power is not in the wishing, but in the belief; because if you believe you can, then you will take action to do something. REAL positive thinking requires action behind it, not just wishful thinking.
Thanks Paul. I’m thankful you joined in. There is some silliness out there when it comes to positive thinking. That doesn’t dismiss the power of positive thinking. I like to use the word optimism….the belief that we can make a difference. Cheers
Dan,
Thanks for your post. I am reading this book right now, and have been intrigued by the points around positive thinking. I love the WOOP principle, and also feel that having a positive attitude is still a key factor in success. Like you mentioned – “Positive thinking is part of success, it isn’t success on it’s own”.
Thanks Travis. This post is the first time I’ve mentioned a book that I haven’t already read. I’m with you. Negativity and naysaying drives me crazy. But everything worthwhile requires some healthy doses of hard thinking.
Yaayy, well said. Positive thinking isn’t Magic! It’s a state of mind which is optimal for finding solutions. 🙂
I couldn’t agree with you more. Action is what makes things happen, not just thinking positively. I understand that you must consider obstacle and how you will address them when they arise. This is extremely important. What do you think are the effects /outcome of negative thinking? If positive thinking doesn’t solve anything, only action does, then how is thinking negatively any different? Just asking for your thoughts. I am a proponent of thinking positively.
Thanks Possible. I think we may agree on the importance of positive thinking. The only way to get something done is to think of how to get something done. Thinking about and preparing for what might go wrong is just one component of getting things done without being foolish.
Positive thinking allows us to identify opportunties and move towards them with positive actions. Negative thinking leads us to fear and inaction. 🙂
You are correct Stuartart. If only we could get the negative thinker to start thinking positively.
Thanks Stuartart. Great add. “state of mind …” 🙂
I do believe that when a person generally thinks something can’t happen, negative thinking, they are usually correct.
Thanks Jim. 🙂 … it’s what we do with obstacles that matters.
We all have the freedom to choose to think negatively or positively–irrespective of which we believe is more real. For myself, the “process and outcome” of thinking positively makes me feel good. It feels good to believe!
Thanks Books. The more comments I read the more I’m enjoying this whole process. Your approach to focus on process and outcome makes sense. In that context, glancing at the outcome and focusing on the process seems to be the formula for success.
There’s a couple of things that come to mind when I see the ever-sunny view:
“If you can keep your head when all about you are using theirs, you may not understand how serious things are”; and more importantly:
“If it was easy, they wouldn’t ask us to do it”. Things can be really damned hard. We get the difficult jobs. That isn’t imagination, it’s fact. But the reason we get the hard jobs is because no one else can do them.
Thanks Mitch. “… you may not understant how serious things are.” 🙂 People feel safe to follow a leader who clearly knows how serious things are and is taking action to move forward. It’s the leader who has their head in the clouds that scares most of us.
I’ll follow a person who seems to have a firm grasp of the risks, challenges, and obstacles.
Great point Dan. It’s not an argument for small safe goals either. We won’t let ourselves something we don’t believe we can create. No matter how much potential I see in my team, my goals have to fit their level of efficacy. Push them beyond that point and they’ll shut down. My job as a leader is to build the efficacy of my team such that we can set larger goals.
Thanks Greg. It takes courage, realism, and optimism (belief in people) to bring out their best, to push them far enough, but not too far. I’ve been burned a few times by not understanding a person’s capacity. What’s easy for me should be easy for others, right? 😉
Hi Dan,
I don’t always reply to your posts but I do read them. This conversation hits really close to home for me so I thought I would take a Positivity Action Stand…
I believe that ‘positivity’ is an action word. I know for myself that if I do not keep a positive mind set that I can spiral into negativity. In order for me to take the proper action steps to solve a problem I have to handle it with hope. Hope is a positive word. If we did not have the thought of hope then we would not take action.
Example: I am a 5 time stage 4 cancer survivor, I have an autistic daughter and we have had some obstacles to over come lately. Now all that sounds depressing; does it not?
Well instead of laying in bed feeling sorry for myself I decided to get up even though some days I did not feel like it.
My Action: I started a company that helps other people live their dreams and I employ those who need to feel passionate about something, and to focus their energy on that something.
I know all the other things in my life are still real but when I can shift the focus to something bigger than my struggles then it makes me feel less hopeless and more hopeful. I will have to say when there is action connected to positivity thinking then positivity brings hope. Eventually the struggles will pass and we will have glorious moments. I think both are temporary. Our lives are a series of ups and downs;it is how we handle each moment that determines the outcome.
Thanks Michelle. Powerful. I’m grateful you shared your story. I find that thinking about stuff and not taking action creates feelings of helplessness. Blame isn’t far behind.
“Positivity is an action word”… kapow
You have my best for the journey
well there’s an old martial arts saying that the thought proceeds the action, and after 1,000 repetitions of practice the thought becomes the action. Which leads to the idea that without the practice and action it’s still… just a thought.
Thanks Dan for your inspiring Articles. I also read this piece on HBR today. Teaches a valuable lesson. Be positive but weigh the pros and cons of achieving what you want instead of coming to a conclusion that we have already done it. Great!
Hi, I am a fan of your posts, but have a silly question. I agree you can’t sit around a just dream crap up and expect it become reality, but isn’t it possible that what they meant is that anything is possible if you can think of it, but you really need to act on it? You can’t really just go around acting out positive actions without thinking of them first. If you think positive thoughts, you will most likely take positive action, ultimately reducing the negative in your life. I like it, but it seems like this article was just thrown together. Very respectfully. D