Pull Me – Push You
Passionate people pull; dispassionate need pushed.
Pull:
Passion pulls leaders into the future. But, passion gone wrong is pushy.
The more you push, the more you need to push.
Once you start pushing people, they start dragging their feet. How do you feel when someone pushes you?
The secret of leadership is helping others uncover what pulls them into the future and get them doing it.
If you’re pushing people you haven’t tapped their inner engine.
Seven ways to protect pull:
- Don’t impose your hopes on others. I’ve hoped someone would feel a passion for leadership like me. But, I missed the boat and in the process, lost their potential.
- Trust the strengths of others. Leaders who think they’re good at everything diminish the value of others. Enthusiasm gone wrong pulls into incompetence. Passion wrongly makes you feel you’re good at everything.
- Enjoy the ride. Don’t tie personal identity to performance and results. The question is, “Are you doing what you love,” even if you aren’t getting all the results you want. Average results with joy are better than stellar results with misery.
- Adapt less. Care what others want, but don’t be controlled by it. Success always includes adapting, but the secret is not losing yourself along the way.
- Encourage constructive dissent from others. Listen to their voice if you want them to find theirs.
- Stop for awhile. Lack of reflection coupled with too much action destroys passion. Did you notice you’re running in circles? When you see someone running in circles, stop them, even if they don’t want to stop.
- Learn from failure and evaluate systems and processes. Create structures that release passion rather than stifle it. Encountering the same frustrations over and over reflects poor leadership.
There’s nothing like being pulled into the future.
How do leaders stifle pull?
How can leaders fuel pull in others?
nice points..
Dan, excellent post. I realize that I get pushy and grind on others when they don’t see what I see. Pulling leaders are visionary leaders, but they help others journey to a preferred future.
Great information! I will use it!
I think good leaders can identify the modalities of their team and communicate accordingly. This resonates with them on an individual basis I think which creates connection which in turn can lead to a ‘pull’ . 🙂
Understanding Push versus Pull can be a career breakthrough for just about anyone > http://wp.me/p2k440-7P
Great post.
Don’t be a bully, but be a pully. Great thoughts to ponder and pull on! Pushing typically steamrolls and flattens others but pulling makes them standup and run towards their passion. Like it!
Dan, your post yesterday on leadership appreciation was excellent and goes hand-in-hand with today’s post. I was thinking when we “pull” someone UP, they will say THANK YOU. Yet if we “push” someone, they’ll probably say “Hey, why did you do that?”
I had the great honor and pleasure of meeting Henry Kissinger back in 1968. He was the former U.S. Secretary of State and was giving a talk on The Art of Diplomacy. In his inextinguishable
German accent, he was both funny and profound saying: “A diplomat must always think twice before he says NOTHING.” And, “Diplomacy is to do and say the nastiest thing in the nicest way. The Diplomat’s aim is always to pull others up from self-entrenchment and self-absorption
to dare go against convention, to think big, and to believe that all is possible. This is when a leader is diplomat and vice versa.”
Sometimes you have to give just a little push in order for their engine to start. Kind of like push starting a vehicle with a manual transmission. You make an excellent point about stopping and reflecting. Sometimes you can go wrong for so long that by the time you realize it, you have gone so far that you don’t know where to go back to get on track. Thanks for sharing.
Dear Dan,
Liked the post and its contents. I am quite impressed with a catchy image of an engine in conveying the message. Successful leaders usually use both the tactics of ‘pull’ & ‘push’ to take the people along on a path of success. Yet, they need to pull others more to get best out of them. Pushing people is self-demoralizing and time consuming activity which really distracts you from moving forward towards the final mission.
So, have a responsibility of having a clear communication on the set objectives & the goal and motivate people to deliver what is expected of them by way of their contributions. The slow movers, of course, be pushed to join the race of victory.
.
Hi Dan,
Great post. Reminds me of what Werner Erhad said of Leadership, ” It is about creating and living into a future that was not going to happen anyways.”
Shakti
good points, felt the points given by hbr at https://hbr.org/2014/11/what-maslows-hierarchy-wont-tell-you-about-motivation are simpler to follow
I enjoyed your post. I am a very creative and passionate person who likes to maximize the potential of any project or interaction I am a part of. However, I agree with your points. Passion can be counterproductive when overbearing or misguided. I am a firm proponent of “slow and steady wins the race.”
Pulling is being positive and recognizing people and making them feel good for what they’ve done. But pulling means you have to be patient to wait for others to catch on, and catch on fire. Pushing should be reserved for absolutely mandatory things and it can get ugly.