12 Ways to Move From Powerless to Powerful
Frustration is connected to feeling powerless. You wouldn’t be angry if you had the power to change it.
People who feel powerless respond with frustration to opportunity, difficulty, challenge and uncertainty.
Power:
Power is the ability to change something.
Even weak people have power.
Weak people use dark-power to make things worse.
Dark-power:
- Backstabbing.
- Undermining.
- Gossip.
- Distracting and diluting focus.
- Pulling back.
- Deception.
- Sabotage.
Successful leaders use power to make things better.
12 ways to move from powerless to powerful:
- Say yes selectively. How will saying yes move you and your organization forward. If you aren’t sure, say no.
- Learn to say no with compassion, but don’t come off angry, resistant, or reluctant. Say no to activities that collide with your values, priorities, mission, and vision. If you’re saying no to indulge yourself you’re losing power not gaining it.
- Focus on things within your control – yourself, your responses, and your immediate environment. Ask, “Can we control this,” if not, let it go and move on.
- Be grateful when others serve you. Gratitude increases your power and empowers others.
- Expect people on the team to step up. When they don’t, encourage, reassign, marginalize, or replace them.
- Talk about tough stuff. Just bring it up, compassionately.
- Say what you really think, kindly. Pretending drains power.
- Believe you can make something better. Power is part perception. If you were powerful, how would you act? Act that way.
- Find a new channel of service. Make the lives of others better. Solve a problem.
- Relax. Frantic thoughts and frazzled emotions move you toward powerlessness.
- See strength in others, but don’t minimize your own.
- Just move toward better. Don’t fix everything.
How can leaders help others move toward feeling powerful?
What do you do when you start to feel powerless?
Dan, that’s a very powerful list.
Power is neutral in my estimation. I believe your list of dark power is how those of us who feel powerless (consciously or unconsciously) use the power available to all of us.
Managers and leaders can ask:
1. How can I unleash the power in each individual and that of my team as a whole?
2. What can I stop that inhibits their power?
Thanks Alan. Powerful comment.
Your questions are great…we need to keep asking, “How can I unleash the power of others…..” and “How can I get out of the way?” Just think what would happen if we kept asking ourselves those two questions!
when you bring a problem to management, bring a solution as well. It might be used or not, but it gets you out of the passive mode.
I would argue that there is a correlation between ones frustration in expressing themselves linguistically and the extent or limtations of their vocabulary.
Such a pivotal writing and reflection of how I can react rather than act when I’m frustrated or angry. Thank you! This really hits it on the dot for a bit of a tie in to my writing on Believing.
Good stuff. Feeling a bit of conviction and encouragement at the same time. Dark power is the easy route. It takes intention and effort to step into those questions of “If I had power, what would I do?” and “How can I make this situation or process better?”
had to reblog it! Great advice!
Dark power is build entirely on a foundation of lies and twists even the best of practices for personal gain and cover.
Example:
A person utilizing dark power will often say ‘Don’t gossip’ to the masses. Using their authority and shame to try and silence anyone who would dare say anything publicly about their malpractices, abuses, or deceptions.
And in the same breath they declare ‘don’t gossip’. They turn around and gossip to their peers about the people who have legitimate gripes against them, in order to turn those against their ‘enemies’ as well. But…that’s somehow NOT gossip. It’s necessary.
Yet when there is a legitimate issue and gripe….talking about it is gossip. (double standards)
I don’t have this perfected by any means and although I currently consider myself more spiritual than religious, I still utilize many sound pieces of wisdom from the Bible and various spiritual texts. One in particular that I still follow as best as possible is the passage in Matthew 18: 15-17. ( I know you are already familiar with this one Dan! : )
However, I’ve had to adapt it for use in the real world since we operate most of the time outside of a church, etc. (although spiritually, the church is a living body built of people rather than buildings but I digress…grins)
I do my best to:
1. Not say anything about anyone that I can’t and won’t say directly TO them. And I do my best to make sure they hear it first. If it’s resolved one on one, than it’s generally never discussed again.
2. Exceptions to this would be instances of acute harm and violence where authorities would need to be called and help brought in. (i.e. violence in our schools etc)
3. If I try to work things out one on one with someone, depending on the situation, if they go in denial, or resort to stonewalling methods, it may require ‘involving 2 or more people as witnesses so everything may be established’. And if that doesn’t work, you tell it to….the larger body or group. i.e. could be to the jury in a court, going to the counselor or principle at a school, could mean having to go to your boss, or to HR if the problem is with your boss, etc.
When people are upfront and honest. Have the best interests of everyone at heart. Even if they don’t go about it perfectly. That’s not dark.
But people who continue to practice deception are following dark methods. We’re called to stand up and expose it if people aren’t dealing with it.
Anyway, that’s just an example Dan. But a common one.
Hope that helps bring to light some of my methods. I’m interested in hearing other points of view as well.
Good post Dan.
If I relate power to application of knowledge , leaders can make you feel powerful by delegating task where you can show expert power. Example I love it when my supervisor ask me to do a financial analysis