10 Ways to Rise Up After Screwing Up
Everyone who tries fails.
Growth happens when you fail and own it, not until. Everyone who blames stays the same.
The price of greatness is responsibility.
Taking responsibility sets leaders apart from the pack. Don’t be a martyr or a blamer. Just own it.
10 ways to rise up after screwing up:
- Own it or you’ll repeat it. Any failure you fail to own returns like a nagging pimple.
- Be proactive. Take charge of your failure before someone else does.
- Look at your performance through the eyes of a high-performer. How did you do?
- Explore how your failure impacts others. People trusted you.
- Evaluate expectations. How was success defined? Was there clarity?
- Focus on performance. Don’t make it personal. Lift yourself up. Don’t beat yourself down.
- Say three sentences after failure:
- I learned to …
- I learned not to …
- Next time I’ll …
- Answer the temptation to make excuses with accountability.
- Address recurring failure with systems. Create a checklist, for example.
- Delegate your weakness to someone else’s strength. Stay in your sweetspot as much as possible.
Bonus: Create a win quickly. Elevate your status and fuel positive energy by setting new goals and reaching them, publicly.
Strong leaders take responsibility; weak blame.
Excuse me:
No excuses. No blaming.
- Excuse making validates a disappointing past.
- Excuse making drags failure into the present.
- Excuse making is another way of saying don’t change anything.
Hiding behind the failure of others makes you smaller than the people you hide behind.
Fear of failure:
The right amount of fear contributes to success. You don’t want to be embarrassed, disappoint yourself or others.
Fear of failure is concern for reputation.
Show me someone who doesn’t fear failure, at least a little, and I’ll show you a failure.
How can leaders rise up after screwing up?
How do you maximize mistakes?
Just accept it and continue. Acknowledge you screwed up and see your learning moments. Mistakes you can maximize by asking yourself: What did I learn, What should I not do anymore and Instead of that I will….do this and that. Thanks Dan!
Thanks Dennis. I got to thinking about how organizational culture either makes it easy for us to accept it or not. I’m not saying we shouldn’t. But, some environments make it easier to learn from failure than others. In either case, when we hide it we don’t learn from it.
Thanks, yeah. Your own internal system should accept it. But yes, i agree that some in some environments is easier than in others. Still as a person you should acknowledge and forgive yourself…. We should never hide it!
You speak the truth. Thanks!
Thanks Chris!
Great post. I always find it interesting when leaders think they’re “covering up” their mistakes. Most of the time the team already knows they’ve screwed up. You can almost feel the exhale from the team when the leader admits it.
Thanks Karin. Bingo! It’s funny, but true, that saying what everyone already knows still takes courage. Cheers.
Thanks for this post today – it really brings total clarity as we tend to look at leadership as “a hero thing” – like Superman or Superwoman or something. This is the true picture here – THANK YOU! Own up, show up and move on!
Thanks Anita. That whole super hero myth sure dies hard! But, it doesn’t take much thought to realize how silly it is. Perhaps it’s our own desire for heroes that makes I elevate people to heights they don’t deserve.
So we should outwardly exhibit behavior aligned to what everyone in our immediate circle knows to be true and wonders why we pretend to be oblivious to — eeks – the human kimono is open – humility is power: this has been (and is such a difficult journey) however the rewards both personally and professionally are priceless
Thanks Perspectcoach. I feel like “keep your eye on the prize” fits your comment. thanks.
I especially like number ten. If most would stay within their “sweet-spot” where they can excel and let others do the same, failure would be less or only when the absolute impossible is tried. As Clint Eastwood aka Dirty Harry in Magnum Force said, A man has got to know his limitations.
love the Churchill quote!
Thanks John.
Thanks Ron. Know your limitations…but push them too… 🙂
Churchill also defined success as the ability to go from one failure to another without loss of enthusiasm.
Thanks Joe. That’s one of those definitions that I’d like to dismiss but can’t. 🙂
Have you been reading my mind–great post, timely too. I shared with colleague.
Thanks Maureen. I appreciate your sharing.
Regarding mind reading…I guess it’s the common leadership struggles that make us feel relevant. 🙂
This post is soo good. Thank you for your post. That’s what I’m going to do from now. Or at least try to..Haha.. 🙂
Thank nguyen. Let’s try together.
I often find that much of my failure is in communication. When egos are involved it is more in how you communicate versus what you communicate. Thanks for the great info.
Thanks John. How is such an important factor of success when it comes to communication. 🙂
I recently had a huge line of failure experience. I have now come to terms with it. There are many areas we can fail it is those people that stand up again and try again that I love to watch and read about.
Kapow! I couldn’t agree more, Matthew.
Since we’re talking about fear, and there seems to be a lot of sharing of quotes, here’s something Clint Eastwood said in the movie Pale Rider: What people fear most is what they know about themselves “inside.”
Wow! I need to pay more attention to Eastwood movies. 🙂
Dan – great post. Thank you. As you have so beautifully said, we don’t learn unless we fail and for me life is all about learning. Failing becomes valuable when we become curious about our failure and reflect, asking questions as you have outlined above so we can learn and become more of what we want to be. ‘Owning it’ by taking responsibility is important AND becomes valuable when we use curiosity to create those ‘aha’ learning moments that help us become the leaders we aspire to be.
Dan, this is a great post. Thank you! I think the last three or four will be very helpful for me.
Great post. Too many leaders (and whole leadership teams!) avoid talking about screw ups or problems, even when it’s obvious to everyone. That can create big trust issues and really alienate followers (as you note in #4, it’s about trust).
This reminded me of a great book on the psychology of why we avoid taking responsibility, “Mistakes Were Made, But Not By Me” by Carol Tarvis and Elliot Aronson. Time to go re-read it!
forgiveness starts with accountability, when we fail we need to own it, and learn from it. Sometimes that’s the only thing we can salvage from it.
Holding myself accountable and being proactive were two of the best things I ever did. Great read sir
Owning success and disowning failure is not commended but reflection of a self centered leader.Take full responsibility to failure and mend ways that lead you to success in the waiting.
Dan,
This is a lesson that I learned the hard way at the office:
“Be proactive. Take charge of your failure before someone else does.”
I love the Winston Churchill quote – he’s one of my favorite leaders from history.
Number 10: If I’m reading it correctly comes across avoiding failure rather than facing your weaknesses head on. The courage to confront your weaknesses makes you stronger and creates a more well rounded you. Living on the outer edge of your comfort zone is where we should perform in order to grow. Consulting others who are strong in areas that you are weak is a good idea, but don’t necessarily believe in delegating your weaknesses. Respectfully, Darrin
I really enjoyed reading this as well as the comments. It’s one thing to forgive yourself for screwing up, it’s another for the organization to forgive you. I’d be interested in hearing how others have dealt with this.
Agreed. I use ARM – Acknowledge, Review, Move on
I am gradually learning to control my phobias and anxious condition. “where are my thoughts?”,I ask this to myself time and again. Then I bring them where they should be. They are like grazing cattle,here and there. They need a shepherd.
I also practice to be positive. Literally it requires so much focus.
Great post. Peace!
Excellent read. |Thank you!