How to Transform Negative Environments
The more you think about what’s wrong, the more wrong you see.
Your job isn’t fixing, correcting, and improving. It’s creating environments where others fix, correct, and improve.
Criticism deflates. Approval energizes.
Praise isn’t pretending:
Those who worry that praise is pretending don’t understand leadership.
Successful leaders don’t pretend things are great when they suck. But… If all you praise is perfection, you’re a negative leader.
Approval includes finding wonder in imperfection.
Approval:
It occurred to me that you might need some help identifying praiseworthy behaviors.
Show approval of:
- Honesty. Say, “Thank you for saying that,” the next time you hear honest words that are true but difficult to hear.
- Alignment. “I’m thankful we’re both passionate about getting this right.”
- Strength.
- Effort.
- Grit.
- Reliability.
- Passion.
- Candor.
- Vulnerability.
- Relationship building.
- Helpfulness. Applaud when someone meets a need.
- Reputation building. When someone speaks well of others, speak well of them.
3 praise tips:
- Praise in ways that acknowledge the past and look into the future. “The way you performed yesterday makes me look forward to working with you on our next project.”
- Praise things that mean something to others. Praise their children, for example.
- Praise small things frequently rather than big infrequently.
You have to be present to praise.
4 praise projects that create positive culture:
Let yourself see praiseworthy behaviors by letting go of the need to see bad.
- Set an gratitude-alarm. Say thank you to someone at the top of every hour.
- Practice “drive-by gratitude.” Stop in. Give approval. Walk away.
- Count how many affirmations you give in an hour. Better yet, set a goal. “I’m showing approval five times between 10 and 11 a.m.” Step it up by inviting others to join you.
- Take five minutes at the beginning or end of the day to fill your mind with what’s working. Think about people.
How might you interject praise into your daily leadership?
What praise suggestions can you add?
Dear Dan,
A very good suggestions to transform negative environment. We have choice to find good from the worst. It depends upon how we see the things. I see two things here- one is about external and other is internal. External is about how people behave, leaders encourage and the entire environment. Environment has both elements of bad and good. We will see what we want to see. So, in given choice, we need to see positive side of the things. Environment can be influenced based on our capacity. Being part of management, it will be much easier to influence larger part of the environment. Secondly, when things may be much toxic in nature, it is always better to look inward. One needs to find its goal, directions and keep aligned to it. It is not necessary to prove someone wrong, Let your work speak about you. It may take time, but when your work speak, then it starts influencing the environment.
It is always better to praise others for good work, efforts and initiatives. At the same time, one should also minimize expectation from others.
For praise I would add- informal appreciation which should look sincere. Knowing about the person,s interest, family and future goal is perhaps the best motivator. I think, it works.
Thanks Dr. Gupta. “Know about the person’s future goals.” Praise has meaning as it connects to what we value. You have given me a reminder of the importance of knowing, understanding, and accepting the people on the team.
“Thank you” is powerful; “thank you, but..” is preparation for a shoe to drop.
I have found a written note of praise or thanks is very powerful. I have had folks return to my desk years after, note in hand, saying with gratitude “you don’t know what these words did for me..” In an email and text world it differentiates leaders as thoughtful and caring.
Thanks Ken. “But” is an eraser. Great add.
I find your story both encouraging and challenging.
BULLS-EYE Ken!
I’ve always believed that (but’s) have NO business in praise , ‘or’, apologies. ‘BUTS’ remove any sincerity from what was said. Negative people often use ‘buts’ as a door to criticism and self promotion.
“Leave ‘buts’ behind you where they belong!” Alil humor there Ken, A VERY LITTLE… LOL
SGT Steve
I would add be grateful for humor. Most issues are not life or death. Being able to laugh together can help get a team working cohesively and be better creative problem solvers.
Thanks Mim. There’s a proverb that says a merry heart is a medicine.
Great post. A couple years ago I went from trying to do one good deed a day to doing one good deed an hour. It has been much harder than I thought, but just saying kind words to others in the building, holding the elevator or waiting 3 seconds to hold the door open makes a difference.
Keep up the great work Dan.
Thank you Randy. It’s true, in 3 seconds we let others know they matter, at lest in a small way. Bravo
Dear Dan,
An interesting post to re-energize positive thoughts while creating a good work environment for people to perform per expectations. It’s a matter of habit for a leader while meeting people on the floor, on phone or at the meeting level to start the conversation with some positive note. The simple key is to see positive things in a person and push him to perform better by a small praise for his recent good work or any new idea that he might have shared.
The positive work culture comes with a happy work environment and the leader has a responsibility to take the initiative in spreading positive vibrations the time they enter at the work stations. The way people greet each other, work as an integrated team with smile and show the readiness to help and support each other in fulfilling the organization goals as a collective commitment go a long way to boost the positive culture of performance and satisfaction.
Thanks Dr. Asher. Great suggestions. The idea that leaders have responsibility to take initiative in spreading positive vibrations is the starting place of change.
Praise needs to be given by itself, and not as a segue into a difficult conversation. I had a manager years ago who was masterful at calling people into her office and priming them with praise–“you’re so valuable here, and we love your enthusiasm!”–and then launching into criticism. The take-home when you walked out of her office was always the criticism, not the vapid praise.
Thanks Cheryl. I’m not a huge fan of the feedback sandwich. Start with a positive – insert a negative – end with a positive. I think the feed back sandwich is a matter of courtesy. But, it’s a waste of a good compliment when people are waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“Feedback sandwich”–love that! I’ll need to store that phrase away for future reference.
Great post Dan chock full of great opportunities to recognize and connect with your team. Many, like honesty, never occurred to me and I sort of consider myself a queen of recognition.
Dan this is the very essence of PBIS- it is not about random, insincere praise, but about building on the positive and seeking first to see what is right then correcting what needs improvement based on that assessment. Great coaches do it all of the time- they see the strength of a player and build on it while honing the other skills too. One thing I know for sure in this world is that you will find what you are looking for EVERY SINGLE TIME
Thanks Robin. It makes so much sense to build on positive. 🙂
Thanks Sarah. Congratulations on being the queen of recognition.
Dear Dan,
1) Praise and appreciation are motivating and energizing. Many people thrive from the simple act of hearing a positive recognition for something true (vs. empty) about them.
2) Additional things to appreciate are: skills, improvements and accomplishments.
3) Another suggestion for developing this habit is to practice the ritual of giving one appreciative comment daily to the people with whom you interact.
I appreciate your thoughtful and succinct approach to Leadership topics, Dan!
Beth
Thanks Beth. I’m glad you stopped in today to share your insights.
To jump on your bandwagon of “one appreciative comment daily” it might be easy to record teammates on a calendar and keep track of the acts of recognition you extend to them. (Just a thought)
These are the golden chains to truly create a “Culture of Connection”.
Add to Praise, approval and gratitude the following:-
Never follow the above with a “But” as it kills all the praise
Never ask for an immediate “demand” as it looks like sales transaction.
Keep it genuine.
Thanks Gafour. The “but” and “demand” suggestions are great. Very practical.
Mindblowing thought to begin. Definitions following were helpful.
As a culture we are too focused on “negative and positive” rather than “right/functional versus wrong/less appropriate.” Your conversations assume a corporate environment where people do work, or they get fired. In other environments, however, such as schools (and they of course inform the workplace) praise IS pretending. Boosterism does not create functionality in social environments where there is no agreement on value. (Or if so, please give contrary evidence) Whereas in the WWII generation, disapproval could be slight because it caused correction, I have to admit that I do not see this happening today. People fail to work, commit crime, sin and see nothing wrong with that. Any suggestion of disapproval, any call to better behavior, then is condemned as “negativity.” Furthermore, any scurrilous activity seems to be judged acceptable if done with a smile.
So yes, I agree that we need to affirm good alignment with appropriate values. But how this might be accomplished in places where the structure creates very very little human connection and there is very very little to affirm, and there is already a jadedness from the boosterism — it is beyond my imagination.
Thanks for this discussion. Would like to see more on this.
Great article!
I think that closing the end of the day with some type of positive message or comment to those who work for me is a way I interject praise into my daily leadership.
I do things like sending everyone emails of praise at the end of the day, or walking around to each person to say a personal “good evening” and give them the opportunity to chat with me a bit, every chance I get.
Another thing leaders can use to add praise is to give praise when you see someone stepping out of their comfort zone or stretching themselves to achieve superior results.
I always found the “drive-by thank you” to be very effective. The key was to connect the success of the individual to the success of the organization. When you can demonstrate to your people how their contribution advances the goals of the organization magic happens.
If I over praise by setting a praise quota, wouldn’t that be like “The Boy Who Cried Wolf”? At 1st people would believe my praise but in time, my praises would have less meaning to the point where the person receiving the praise might think “Oh.. here he comes again … what praise am I getting now”.
To answer your questions to my comment, yes I struggle giving praises and I struggle receiving praises. For some it is a muscle that has to be exercised. Different personalities may be more comfortable delivering and receiving praises.
Praise performance; not attributes. Praising performance encourages continual growth. Praising attributes encourages stagnation.
“If all you praise is perfection, you’re a negative leader.” *ouch* Busted. Thanks!
There is a strength and beauty in all things… we just have to look for it. Another form of gratitude I’ve taken on as a practice is writing letters to those who have positively impacted my life today or in the past. I write the letter of gratitude and send it hard copy in the mail to that person. This practice taps into my gratitude for others and allows me to see more strengths in even the most challenging people and situations in my life. Gratitude is something to practice — the payoff? I feel great joy sending those letters 🙂
Love it! We reward students when they are doing things right or going the extra mile but we don’t always think about the staff who rise above what is normal.
Praising good performance is great for all. Too often though I see teachers praise students when they give the wrong answer. This just confuses them or annoys those who know it’s wrong and so they do not have confidence in the teacher.