Solution Saturday: How to Cope with Success
It’s “Solution Saturday.” Bob sent a private message asking about coping with success.
Failure might hurt, but success might be deadly.
4 dangers of success:
Failure opens minds; success closes them.
- Self-deception. Success fools you into believing you’re better than others.
- Complacency. Success invites you to feel you’ve arrived. Innovation stops.
- Arrogance. Exaggerated self-importance is the reason leaders lose perspective. Successful leaders often excuse themselves from behaviors they expect from others, for example.
- Protectionism. Growth-thinking slips into protectionism when you succeed. Protecting gains is useful, as long as pressing forward drives daily behaviors. Organizations that don’t press forward always fall back.
Success hardens hearts; failure softens them.
7 ways to cope with success:
The only person who can humble you is you.
- Mention others when you talk about success. “We have a great team who….”
- When others talk about your success:
- Be thankful. Gratitude answers arrogance.
- Don’t make a big deal about it.
- Don’t think they are asking you to explain how you succeeded.
- Find a brag buddy, someone who can celebrate your success with you, and not feel threatened. (Thanks Jon Acuff.)
- Keep a journal of lessons learned from personal failure.
- Confront yourself before confronting others. Are you letting yourself off the hook, while putting others on it?
- Open your hand to others. You know you’re heading in the wrong direction when you close your fist. Enjoy success by sharing it.
- Celebrate the success of those who are more successful than you.
Bonus: Keep asking, “How can I serve?”
Success is not who you are its what you do.
Coping with success is coping with a persistent bent toward arrogance. Humility doesn’t eliminate a puffy heart, closed mind, or elitism.
Humility is a practice that answers, but never eliminates arrogance.
How might leaders cope with success?
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Every Saturday I invite you to join me in offering solutions to issues/problems leaders share with the Leadership Freak community. I’m sending a Leadership Freak coffee cup to Bob because his question was chosen. Thanks Bob.
I’ve been accused of arrogance. I find it difficult, because I know my team are world-class operators. I think my people are entitled to a little bit of arrogance.
But only a little bit: like salt, a pinch brings out all the other good stuff that’s there, too much spoils it, and it’s bad for you too!
Another thing that I try to use is “We’re good, and we know it. But we need your help, too. With you, we’re even better.” We can always collaborate, grow, learn and be even better!
Thanks Mitch. The sentences, “We need your help, too. With you, we’re even better,” speaks to me. It embraces the idea that you’re good but could be better. Arrogance feels it has arrived.
” You reap what you sow”.try to keep it simple!
Thanks Tim. 5 words! I thought I was concise. 🙂
Great teams never exist alone. They exist because a culture allows them to flourish, because customers appreciate the value of what they produce and because leadership has given them the resources needed to succeed. In greatness, there is almost always interdependency.
Thanks Donna. So true. There is no self-made person. Sure, we work hard, develop our talent, and serve, but, the people who receive the most help reach the highest.
Team leaders: How can a standout who brings recognition to the team be allowed to continue to create in peace?
Dan, Loved the Tennis ball and Fiery Leaders presentation. Now if we could light the fire in Congress? We might actually accomplish something. Thanks for the hopes for all of us in creating a better world of Leaders.
Thanks Tim. What a great thing to say. I’m thankful for the opportunity to serve and to be appreciated for the service.
how could I get one of those cups? Where could I order it?
Hi Sergio. Thanks for asking about the cups. Right now, they aren’t for sale.
I want one too!!
What you offer here in this post are some of the paradoxes of leadership. One paradox that always sticks out to me is that leaders must delegate responsibilities but maintain control. I think the best leaders allow their people to grow and thrive in and trusting environment but that leader must trust that their work and ideas are good ones.
Thanks Teacher. I don’t know if I should, but I get the sense of ego vs. humility while reading your comment. Leaders need enough “ego” to believe in themselves and enough humility to confidently help others serve.
Dear Dan,
An interesting write up on coping with success! A good leader will always take care of things for not falling on a trap of arrogance or complacency. He shall encourage the team to move forward with greater confidence and higher challenges.
My Saturday Solution question is ‘Is creative mind with a learning aptitude make a great leader?’
Interesting, you know most of us never really think about coping with success, we usually talk about coping with failure and that is why I find this post to be profound. When we succeed there is this heady sense of arrogance that needs to be kept in check, we have a sense of self importance that blinds us and inhibits us from moving forward. It is said “He that humbleth himself shall be exalted and he that exalted himself shall be abased”.
Great words of wisdom Dan 🙂
Extremely insightful, Dan. Sometimes we even sabotage ourselves because of it.
A successful person is often the one who receives the most help (there could be an exception); team work is an essential ingredient for a long term success. Besides, being with people that lifts you is priceless.
By the way, I find the comments as enrichful as the article. Thank you for the knowledge you all share!
How do I join Saturday’s calls?
Hi Doreen. You aren’t missing anything. There is no Saturday call. Best wishes, Dan