Overcoming the Shoe Drop Syndrome
Shoe drop syndrome: Waiting for the bad news, after receiving the good.
Manipulative leaders use praise as the channel to give the bad news that’s really on their mind. Everyone ignores the good, and waits for the other shoe to drop.
Feedback sandwich:
The feedback sandwich is filled with baloney.
You start and end with praise and slip the baloney in between. Go ahead, use praise as a courtesy, when delivering tough news, but don’t expect it to stick.
If the only praise you give is in preparation for bad news, you’re a jerk.
Search for the good. The stink finds you all by itself.
10 ways to look for the good:
- Schedule a daily walk about to look only for praiseworthy behaviors. Take 15 minutes every day this week to bring it up and brag it up.
- Use language that expresses emotion. I’m so proud to work here when I see ______.
- Think about things that are running smoothly. What isn’t broken?
- Seize imperfect moments to offer imperfect praise. Don’t wait for the perfect moment.
- Compliment small things. If you wait for the big stuff, you wait too long.
- Complete this sentence. I respect you for ______.
- Acknowledge effort as well as achievement.
- When you see behaviors you want more of, complement it right then.
- Who gets along, serves, speaks truth to power, or goes the extra mile?
- Use virtual channels if your team is spread across the globe.
Bonus: Ask, “What’s working?”
Look for:
- Energy.
- Reliability.
- Creativity.
- Loyalty.
- Endurance.
- Integrity.
- Skill.
Contributors:
Pour energy into contributors.
Don’t allow poor performers to consume your time, attention, and energy. Give them a chance. Help them step up. Offer training. But, don’t let compassion or hope be the reason you neglect high performers.
Focus on high performers and people who are growing, if you want great achievement.
How might leaders aggressively search for the good?
MS Word version: OVERCOMING THE SHOE DROP SYNDROME
The “feedback sandwich” is such an incredibly dishonest approach to giving feedback, quite apart from the emotions that it generates int eh receiver. I have seen people get really cynical about their manager, and receiving feedback and develop all the defence mechanisms as a response.
Thank you Colin. It’s sad because worthwhile compliments lose their impact because of the feedback sandwich. Thanks for adding your insights.
Look for those producing work and satisfying the customer, even if the customer is an internal one. Know your people’s work well enough to select aspects of the work that are praiseworthy. Avoid false praise. Today’s worker is so skeptical he/she sees right through hyperbole.
Thanks Jim. We can’t over-estimate the importance of being genuine when giving praise. It feels degrading to be manipulated. Glad you joined in.
One reason managers use the sandwich method so much is because few companies have given them the coaching or training to know how to deliver “negative” feedback. In that case, managers need to educate themselves by reading a book, go to a workshop or hire their own coach.
In the military, they make their negative remarks first and then praise after, it’s different but once you get accustomed to this method, you appreciate the honesty that is given because it makes you a better performer. Praise is extremely important but honesty is also equally important. If your personnel can’t take constructive criticism, then I question their desire to become better.
Dear Dan,
Search for good is conscious effort. It does not happen automatically. We need to find good even from the bad. In other words, we should appreciate and encourage good behavior irrespective of person. There may be many infamous people but when we like some part of their behavior, they deserve recognition. This helps them to improve. It is equally true that many times, we do not complete our sentences. It keeps other unclear about our intention. It is important to say complete words. It shows our integrity. I appreciate your point, that we should avoid energy waster. There are people who deliberately engage and divert your intention. One should be careful about such characters.
One way to aggressively search for good is to devise reward system. Such mechanism should take into account intangible part like effort, behavior, ethical consideration, encouragement etc. These components are generally missing in reward mechanism. This can make any ordinary organisation into outperforming or extraordinary.
A concise and useful article that brings some focus to how to best find ‘best practice’ as well as the need to stray away from only giving praise as part of ‘the sandwich’… Something that managers do too often.
Where we focus is where our energy goes to. If a manager looks for reason to acknowledge appreciate and inspire they will find it and colleagues will do so too. When a ” stretch” is then given in this climate it is more real because good is looked for also. I used to keep 10 pennies in my pocket and would transfer them one at a time every time I noticed something worthy of genuine praise, my aim was to have transferred them all by the end of the shift; this was a useful reminder to look for the positives and not only the areas that could be improved.
Positives attract positives and Leadership matters.
wow! as a sales manager, i have corrections to make after this. thanks a lot!