A Dripping Faucet on a Quiet Night
The statement, “Everything rises and falls on leadership,” nags me like a dripping faucet on a quiet night.
I told John Maxwell that I feel the weight of his statement. He replied optimistically that it also represents opportunity.
If everything rises or falls on leadership, lead yourself.
15 ways to lead yourself:
- Find pull. Figure out what matters to you and let it pull you forward. One way to find pull is by monitoring your energy.
- Embrace rabid curiosity about everything, especially about things you think you understand. Spend a morning asking questions and exploring responses, nothing more.
- Aim at something. Think of vision in terms of the value you bring others. Projects matter, but people matter more. Leaders don’t wander. (Unless they are managing by wandering around.)
- Evaluate yourself with greater rigor than you evaluate others. Look in the mirror, but remember you seldom see yourself without the help of others.
- Extend second chances to yourself. Leadership without second chances is over.
- Develop yourself. The first development is self-development.
- Take care of your body. Food, exercise, and rest matter more than you think.
- Develop your ability to develop others.
- Build transparent relationships that strengthen your soul.
- Connect with people who are more skilled, talented, and successful than yourself.
- Become accountable to someone. Mutual accountability is a useful option.
- Reflect on your journey. Try keeping a journal. What are you learning? Who are you becoming?
- Move toward resistance.
- Think progress, not arrival.
- Find happiness by serving what matters, not indulgence, entitlement, or perks.
Who you are is more important than what you do.
If everything rises or falls on leadership, how might leaders lead themselves?
Which of these ideas seem most relevant to you? Why?
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I often ask myself, “How can I grow beyond what I perceive is my capacity?” I want and need to develop in order to serve others better. It’s difficult to step out of the whirlwind of daily activity and examine myself and devote time to get better.
Thanks George. The question that comes to my mind is, what would I do to grow my own leadership if I had more time? I wonder about the magnetism of an exciting self-development activity to help us find time. I appreciate your reflection on today’s post. You gave me something to think about.
So many of these ring true. This is something I need to print and reference often throughout this journey (my work).
how do i get traction? how do i translate knowledge to action and then to success? how do i practice what i preach more?
Thanks awogbemilaa. Great questions for reflection.
am hoping on answers that could help
Thanks for asking. I’m not sure I have a good response. The first thing that comes to mind is talk it over with a trusted friend. Identify a new behavior you would like to try. After a week evaluate by asking,
1. How did it work?
2. What did you learn?
3. What would you like to try next week?
It starts to feel like a reasonable response to your questions is, Leadership is a journey of imperfect steps forward. Try something. Evaluate. Try again. Best for the journey.
hmm….practical! i will feed you back on this. thanks!
Oh how this landed. Thank you for this posting and to Mr. Maxwell’s words of wisdom. I’m in a place that it’s easy to blame others, and asking what I can do is a total shift. I know this, and yet realize how important it is to check back in with that regularly, and often.
Thanks Indie. Wow! I feel real power in your comment. I hadn’t thought about the negative impact of blame in this context. Very helpful and challenging.
Great List, Dan, and one to review regularly.
My personal list includes, “Mind your self-talk, and guide it into alignment with what you want to accomplish and how you want to grow.”
Self-talk can make or break us. You can sink a big ship with a lot of small holes, or build an resilient, renewable structure with a great integrity of well-placed, well chosen supports.
Self-talk shows up in every muscle in our face, and in our posture, and in our choices, and in the vibe we give off.
Getting self-talk into alignment is an art: you can’t ply yourself with falsehoods, or woo-woo affirmations; you have to work from constraint and negativity to appreciation and hope and optimism by believable (to self), honest steps.
I am BIG on self-leadership as a topic, and was happy to see this post today.
All the best…
Thanks Mark. KaPow!! I have an inner-critic that won’t quit. If I read you right, my inner-critic is an opportunity to identify believable, honest steps forward. Don’t try to silence my inner critic by yelling how awesome I am. 🙂
Dan, I find you can choose how you listen to the inner-critic. You can choose to listen using a negative perspective … The comments are whinging whining excuses… Or you can use a positive perspective … The comments are lessons, areas you have control and can improve or areas you can’t control and should give yourself a break.
Yes, indeed, Dan! What you said, PLUS, to soothe ourselves (yes, soothe ourselves) into honoring and appreciating our process and progress (and this helps us appreciate the process and progress of others), and making our “mistakes” matter. It is up to us to make our mistakes matter! 😉
Some confuse appreciation with “going easy on.” It is possible to appreciate self, and be focused and ardent about growth and next steps. It is possible to appreciate someone’s progress and process, but let them go because they are not right for the job or relationship.
Our inner life benefits from regular attention and artful leading. 🙂
Thanks Mark. I so appreciate your insights regarding appreciation vs going easy on. I hate the form of self-love that is indulgent and entitled. It’s not love at all. (And if you wonder how I really think, just ask.) However, as you indicate, the other extreme is also problematic.
I find you can easily get caught in the daily whirlwind of life. Little by little moving away from your personal goals in the effort to satisfy the goals of others. The slight-edge effect slowly but surely taking you off course.
The secret is to reverse the slight-edge effect and little by little get yourself back on course. Reflect on what you do and why you do it. Learn from mistakes and challenge yourself to grow and improve. It won’t happen overnight but it will happen.
Thanks Rob. Very useful! We are too often enamored with big goals and giant leaps. But, it’s the little steps that constitute most of life. When we forget about this idea, we drift. Cheers
Thanks for another great post, Dan. So many key issues in one place – it keeps me on my toes (which is good) – Are these continuing confirmations of my own thoughts, or my own “confirmation bias” creeping in? Things like “Find Pull” (http://wp.me/p2k440-7P); make Learning a lifelong habit (http://wp.me/p2k440-82; http://wp.me/p2k440-3S); “Adding Value” (http://wp.me/p2k440-7U); and not the least important, “What you are is more important than what you do” fitting well with the Say-Do-Are framework where what we Do MUST follow from who we Are (http://wp.me/p2k440-6a). Keep on postin’ Cheers to you.
Thanks Jim. Wow! All I have to say is, https://leadershipfreak.wordpress.com/2014/11/24/pull-me-push-you/ … 🙂 …
Glad you dropped in today
Oh how I love #2: “Embrace rabid curiosity about everything, especially about things you think you understand. Spend a morning asking questions and exploring responses, nothing more.” For so many reasons!!! Great phrase: ‘Embrace rabid curiosity’ and ‘ABOUT EVERYTHING’. Fits very well with a favorite phrase of mine: Embrace ambiguity!!! And ‘rabid’ paints the level of importance. Then there’s ‘think you understand.’ Very dangerous I believe for anyone, especially a leader therefore, to believe they understand anything!!! There’s ALWAYS more to know, to understand…
The other fourteen are great as well… I’ll be Considering many of them further; but #2 is the one that really grabs me!!!
Thanks John. “Embrace ambiguity.” … KaPow!
Dan, I sort-of see your post as a leader’s need to turn responsibility into opportunity? If so, I’d ponder these two questions: 1) Would life be more or less exciting—and would we be happier—if we knew the outcome of what we’re doing is going to be? and 2) Would we actually be happy and/or enlightened if we made a conscious decision that we’re going to be happy from now on for the rest of our life?
It’s a fact most of us want to live an exciting life, and so life, living, being, and doing should be a challenge. If we really think about it, we want obstacles to surmount, some hurdles to jump, and walls to overcome.
What would happen if we went around our responsibilities, all our obstacles, and simply asked for “a winner’s cup?” Would we appreciate it? Would we respect ourselves? Would our lives have meaning or fulfillment—or any sense of wellness?
The point is to see life as exciting as possible, and always think of it as fun. The adversities as well as the harmony can be enjoyable. If we really want to–and decide to–we can make everything opportunity.
When we decide we’re going to be happy, we become enlightened. We have to really mean it–regardless of what happens. There is no way to happiness; happiness is the way. Nothing is work unless we’d rather be doing something else.
Thanks Books, It’s interesting that I’ve been thinking about “happiness as a choice.” It’s really about how we choose to view our circumstances. For example, I could complain that I’m so busy. Or, I could think of how fortunate I am to have opportunities to be useful. I’m choosing to feel fortunate.
Dear Dan,
When everything rises or falls on leadership, it shows the responsibility and expectation. People expect from leaders for right suggestion or direction. They expect leaders to show them path with encouragement. Simultaneously, it is the duty of leadership to be responsible towards people. When such things happens, it is the real test of leadership. It clearly shows that people expect you as a leader and expect to find way out.
All the ideas of relevant. I would prefer no 6-develop yourself. This helps developing trust between you and people. Unless, you develop, people may not listen to you. So, first show your example. Then people will automatically listen to you. People will take your suggestions seriously when you possess that quality.
Do not suggest anything that you are suffering from. First get rid of it, and then influence others.
I love your 15 helpful ideas so much I pinned them to my wall at work and will pick one to improve on each week (if not longer,haha)
I have found that the most crucial step is to lead yourself first. John Maxwell has also said, “You cannot give what you do not have.” When we work on ourselves first, we are leading by example. Our teams will see this and their curiosity will bring questions. Nothing encourages others more than seeing an example of leadership lived out. And nothing is more discouraging than seeing a leader say one thing, but then behave counter to that direction or advice.
Powerful statement and piece of advice: “Who you are is more important than what you do.”