The Seven Laws of the Rut
What you do when you’re tires are spinning determines your future.
Law #1. Stop spinning your tires. The first law of the rut is the most important. When you’re stuck, the more you spin your tires, the more stuck you become. To get unstuck, first stop doing things that got you stuck. If possible, take time off for reflection.
What old dream needs to die?
Law #2. Stop lying to yourself. Your choices got you into this mud hole. Blame prolongs stuckness. An excuse is a fabricated reason for why it’s OK to stay the same.
The first responsibility is taking responsibility for yourself.
Law #3. Reflect on patterns.
- Do relationships often end in the same place?
- Are you persistently unhappy about the same thing?
- Have you dropped the ball in the same way, repeatedly?
What patterns need to change?
Law #4. Find someone who will tell you the unvarnished truth. If you’re stuck, you’re listening to coddlers and ignoring confronters. The things that change us often hurt.
What are you afraid to let go?
Law #5. Ask yourself who you want to become. If you’re stuck and happy, stop reading right now. Go play in the mud. But, if you’re unhappy, think about who you want to become.
The only way to get unstuck is to grow out of it by adopting new behaviors.
Law #6. Define life in terms of contribution. Credentials are nice, but contribution is better. Where is your greatest contribution to people? Do more of that.
What did you do last week that made life better for others?
Think about making a difference where you are. Put the idea of changing the world on the back burner. Just make a difference – in small ways – now.
Law #7. Try stuff. See what you enjoy. Adopt the good. Reject the bad.
What helps leaders get unstuck?
What laws of the rut might you add?
I like the idea of trying to make a difference, even if it’s small or incremental, where you are now. Though make no mistake, you know I’m going to keep trying to change the bigger world regardless 🙂
Thanks James. Sounds great. Don’t neglect the one for the others. Sounds like a both/and proposition.
Love #6! changes your self-conversation….
Thanks Betty. I hope it bridges the gap between the aspirational image we have of ourselves and the real like we live.
Dear Dan,
A really powerful post. For the few days, I wan thinking in the same line. How person can be successful when he is failing continuously? By reading your post, I got very good insights about the things that need to be re looked upon. You are right, when doing same things repeatedly yields same result, there is no guarantee that doing much faster the same things will yield something new. It clearly means, that one has to change the way. Changing the ways will much define the better way.
And when leaders do the same things without introspection, they may get stuck. I always feel that one has to question what one is doing. And once satisfied with justification, then one should continue with it. I always re look my habits. And once I realize its blind-sight, I try to change it. I thing, this is the best way to overcome ones failure. Changing the way and breaking the habits is not easy. It takes lot of courage. It is possible when one stop lying to oneself, as you have suggested. Being truthful to oneself opens path for everything. It is possible but not easy.
Thanks Dr. Gupta. The inclusion of reflection to this topic is important. Not long ago, I had someone ask me what I am learning. It gave me important moments to reflect and formalize some ideas.
When we are stuck, we sometimes forget to ask, “What am I learning?”
Hi Dan- great post. I’m wondering though in law #1, is it necessarily old dreams that need to die, or might it be simply be old approaches?- maybe the dream is ok- but not the strategy that’s being adopted to realize it?
Does that make sense? Have a great day! Lori
Thanks Lori. I’m glad you shared your insight here. Sometimes an old dream needs to die. We’re just spinning our wheels. But, I really like your addition of the thought that we might need to change a strategy or method, not the dream.
if the team knows you believe in “Seek resolution, not blame” – things get done much faster
Thanks Bill. Absolutely! So much less posturing.
Laws #5 and #7 to me are the most critical among seven great rules!!! As I frequently find, a quote of Einstein comes to mind: “Insanity: Doing the same things over and over, expecting different outcomes.” Have to really decide what’s important and go for it!!!
Thanks John. Love the Einstein quote. I find that I’m often writing that idea in one for or another. Plus, on a personal level, I think I’ve ignored his insight far to often. 🙂
Dan great topic. When friends are in a Rut, in business or life, I often give them a copy of Daniel Levinson old book, Seasons of a Man’s Life. His study of adult development showed that we all go through 5 to 7 year cycles in all aspects of our life – career, personal, educational. We either consciously or unconsciously re-evaluate ourselves at these times. We then may stay the course or adjust it slightly or go off on a whole new direction.
I tell people it ties to Planning- review your goals and objectives, look at your strategic alternatives and make a decision and act on it.
In business some times you need to look outside your current firm and role to decide it’s not so bad compared to the alternatives!
Brad
Brad James http://www.bradszootales.com
Thanks Brad. I’m going to get Levinson’s book. I’ve read some research that suggest the cycle may be a bit longer. I’ll check his book out.
Another great post – I think a law, which is a version of #1 and #2 is – “Stop fighting reality”. Maybe I did nothing to fall into that rut. That doesn’t change the fact you’re in the rut and you have to get out of it!
Another good law is “Be relentless solutions focused” (courtesy of Dr. Jason Selk). It’s a version of Law #7. Always have a solution on hand. Never give in to the temptation not to have a solution.
Thanks Alf. It’s amazing how we can resist reality because we don’t like it. Just accept things as they are. 🙂
I’ve talked with frustrated leaders who were working very hard. When I ask them what solution they are working on, sometimes they go blank. We can be busy, but not really focused.
I am simply reminded of a reality that I have been using around my Mud Manager Metaphor, and that is a simple thought:
— “Remember that there are two miles of ditch for every one mile of road.” —
There are all sorts of things that can bog us down and require extra energy.
AND, you have to realize that you ARE in a rut before you can act to get back on the road.
Have fun out there.
Thanks Dr. Scott. I’m going to quote you on that one! Sounds like one of the laws of the ditch.
I need to write a post.. The X Laws of the Ditch.
Dan, you’ve done a great job of answering how to get out of ruts, which is the most important thing. I’d like to suggest that just like there is “writer’s block,” there is “leader’s block” too. And while it is almost always temporary, this “pause” phenomenon can also be a career changing event.
For example, “creativity block” can cause deep introspection of one’s ability or even willingness to be or stay in a profession. Someone else or leaders, themselves, might say: “You’re only as good as your last achievement.” Or ask: “Can I continue to be savvy enough and creative enough to top my last accomplishment and stay ahead of the next wave of need or change?”
And to a leader in creative block the answer is a fear-based reaction and can sound more like another question: “Isn’t everyone afraid they’re never going to have the same success as when they started out? Aren’t we all a bit fearful the humiliation of rejection will devastate us? I’m always apprehensive that I’m going to work all my life at the profession I love and one day I’ll die on a scrap heap of broken dreams with my mouth filled with the bitter ash of nothingness in the end because I could not keep up and I did not prepare for anything else?”
Of course, I’ve made this example extreme. But this can be the rut of creativity block. And it reflects all the symptoms you list in Laws 1 through 7.
P.S. Because I freaked myself out with so much negativity about creativity block,
let me just say we are all “creators”—greatly creative or not. It’s like the
difference between “having” genius vs. “being” genius. We all have it. Both
creativity and genius come in different forms: It’s not just a first unique idea.
Maybe it’s delivery, a process, a service, a mechanism, or simply a letter of
update each Second Tuesday of the Month. Perhaps it’s a surprise phone call
“From the Boss about the Exemplary Staff Member of the Month.” That’s
“creating,” and that kicks off innovation.
Thanks Books. I have to say your fear based questions are a kick in the pants! Incredibly challenging to me. You came at this in a way that really challenged me.
Thank you for this post, Dan.
I would add the following:
1. DECIDE – Enough is enough; you want a change and you are ready and willing to go for it.
2. ACT – DO SOMETHING! Take a small forward-facing step. Accept imperfect progress but DON’t accept giving up.
3. KEEP GOING!!! Aim to be consistent; not perfect.
4. FORGIVE yourself when you fail remembering always that this is the only way to learn and grow.
Thanks Dr. Pinzon. I’m glad you added your insights today. The idea of making a decision, or making a new decision is important. When we’re stuck, we often go into auto-mode. We just do things without thinking. I find that people of surprised when they evaluate how they are pouring energy into something that doesn’t work.
Dear Dan,
A good interesting post!
Liked the idea of stopping spinning tires and making a difference with new efforts. At times, we feel over confident about our past experience & strengths and bank upon the same for every situation & circumstances! We need to learn new things, build capabilities and try innovative things to taste the success. Moreover, we need to understand the existing & futuristic environment under which we operate, consider the competition and forsee the likely obstacles in the way. We also need to look for an able support from others for bigger goals. We should also seek guidance and advice of few select experts to sail smoothly.
Thanks Dr. Asher. The idea that over-confidence is a reason we get stuck is really helpful. That brings up the quality of humility vs. arrogance. Your insight helped me see a new aspect of this topic.
I really appreciate the tough talk. I have found that my attitude is key to improvement and pulling myself out of a rut. As long as I’m in a “poor me” mentality, I never find the energy to get off my butt and do something. When I force feed myself some gratitude (and sometimes, it takes a force feeding), I can move ahead in a positive way. Thank you!
Thanks Polly. I respect the authenticity in your comment. I’m with you. Sometimes it’s better to behave your want into feeling than to feel your way into behaving. If you want to feel grateful, for example, express gratitude.
This was awesome.
Thanks Alicia.
Your welcome Dan Rockwell.
Your Welcome Dan.
Thank you again Dan and this brings me to another question: How do you motivate people differently in business while maintaining a level of fairness? I work with millennials, baby boomers, and everyone in between. Each seems to be motivated by something different (i.e. time off, extra money, recognition, etc.). And as I am learning in business, this creates a HR nightmare! According to our legal team, treating people differently in the store is an opportunity for a lawsuit and opening ourselves up to much more potential risk than reward. But isn’t this what makes the small business so fantastic? I like that I slipped an employee a few hundred dollars when his house was broken in to. I like that I buy cakes for people on their birthday and attend their kid’s graduation ceremonies. I like that sometimes I give people paid time off when they are being truly exceptional and even helped one employee buy a rent house because that was what inspired him. So, which way is it? Should we be regimented and know that our efforts will not appeal to all the masses or is an individualized approach really worth more than the risk? Thanks again and happy Monday.
“The first responsibility is taking responsibility for yourself.” Absolutely! Great post.
Thanks Dan for this wonderful post. I think everyone should figure out these traits to overcome fear of leadership. We at tatvaleadership helps people to develop leadership skills.
For more information visit our website – http://www.tatvaleadership.com/
I was once told that a rut is a grave with no ends. This, together with Einstein’s insanity definition helps to recognize the signs of being in a rut. The trick is to see a rut for what it is and not get too far from the road. Often we become the boiled frogs and don’t even know we are in a rut until the we are so far from the road that the tow truck winch line can’t reach us. Similar to a vehicle becoming stuck in a rut the principle symptom of getting stuck is increasing energy being used to get less distance covered. It’s important when heading out on a journey to define milestones for progress and to be able to measure success. When heading out on a new adventure it’s normal to have rough spots where you get slowed down and they are often predictable. So, have a plan for the predictable challenges and if one comes along that wasn’t predicable make sure you can recognize it and call the tow truck before it’s too late. Another piece of advice was from a vehicle buyer for our company who refused to buy 4 wheel drive trucks insisting that we’d just get stuck further in. I remember many moments where I cursed his buying practices but usually got myself back to civilization and only required the tow truck a few times.