The Genius of Thinking Otherwise when People are Stuck
Stuck people think they’ve tried everything. When they hear a suggestion, they explain why it won’t work.
When you’re stuck, an imagined “perfect” solution is justification to reject viable imperfect options. You tend to inflate the value of past efforts and devalue new options. After all, you already did your best. Right?
Nothing’s good enough when you’re hoping for perfection.
Stuck helpless people look for sympathy and validation more than solutions.
The worst thing you can do for a chronically stuck person is solve their problem for them. Too much help prolongs helplessness.
One reason you stay stuck is you depend on others for solutions.
The genius of thinking otherwise:
You don’t help people by thinking like they think.
Think otherwise or you’ll fall into the same problems others fall into. All you do is add confusion, uncertainty, or frustration when you think like a person who’s stuck.
When I start thinking like my coaching clients, I make matters worse.
It’s time to think otherwise when you feel as confused as the person you’re trying to help.
Thinking otherwise with dreamers and doers:
Dreamers get stuck in the clouds. “How will I ever achieve my dream?”
People stuck in the clouds need a next step.
Help dreamers think otherwise by forgetting the big picture for awhile. What can you do now?
Doers get lost in the weeds. They hack around and get frustrated when they can’t see the path forward. “How will I ever get everything done? We’re not going to succeed.”
People lost in details need a glimpse of the big picture.
Help a doer think about the big picture and identify the path forward. Forget about doing something. What’s the dream?
How do you help doers or dreamers get unstuck?
How might leaders practice the art of thinking otherwise.
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I love the juxtaposition between dreamers and doers. It just makes sense that the approach to each one has to be different! But I think, no matter what type of person you are talking to, the key is to take small, tolerable, digestible steps. Too much at once can be overwhelming. Visualizing those steps, hashing them out with a coach or mentor, and even going old school and writing them down (my favorite!) can be a huge help.
Thanks Dr. Pinzon. I appreciate your insights. Much has been written and said about the importance of writing things down. Writing is thinking. Plus, it seems that writing things down brings thoughts closer to reality.
I have partnered a doer and a dreamer to work together on projects. The doer helped the dreamer move from ideas to action steps, and the dreamer helped the doer get around obstacles. Both learned from the other, and they continued to talk and share ideas on future assignments.
Thanks Ann. Getting dreamers and doers to work together takes real skill. Congratulations. I find they often collide.
Making sure “everyone that change affects” doers and dreamers, knows destination or direction headed, is a big step towards buy-in. Being aware that people “actually doing the work” could well have the best ideas/solutions on getting to destination, rather than just being worker ants with no options or input. Being “stuck” may be nothing more than the worker’s belief that his/her input is of no value in the big picture.
Thanks Pam. Respect energizes people. Making people feel valued is like fuel to a fire. Glad you jumped in today.
Great thoughts on dreamers and doers, Dan!
Most of the dreamers I come across are stuck because they are dealing with fears about the future. They dream but they seldom believe they can live their dream. And more often than not those fears emanate from their own past. To shift them from dreamers to doers it’s helpful to work with them on their fears. When they get unstuck, these dreamers become doers.
Thanks Milind. Fascinating approach. You make me think about the perfectionism. We have a perfect picture in our heads about the future and if we can’t achieve perfection, we don’t do anything. I’m not sure if that’s fear but it feels like the fear of not being perfect.
One of the elements of leadership is thinking past what is right in front of you. It is that vision that creates the value of leadership in “what could be” rather than “what is”. One of the greatest aspects of leadership is involving your people in developing the “what could be”. Giving your people ownership in the process is very rewarding for them, and the process. Develop your people to always think ahead of the current situation, that is where innovation comes from.