I’m Afraid I’ll Be Alone
I asked a group about their fears. She said, “I’m afraid I’ll be alone.” It was years ago, but I still admire her courage.
She wasn’t afraid of alone-time. Mature leaders want, even need, solitude. But feeling on the outside is painful isolation.
Successful leaders create opportunities to build belonging.
Leadership as partnership:
Kingdom building is an act of destructive isolation.
“Bossing” requires and establishes disconnection.
The heart longs for partnership. Vitality requires it. Vibrancy is building connections and breaking silos.
Principles of partnership:
- Partnership requires participation. Partners grab an oar, while bosses stand aloof.
- Partners receive and give value. Bosses take. Today’s goal: focus more on giving value and less on receiving.
- Partners don’t act independently. Independence violates partnership.
- Partners care. Wouldn’t it be great if the people on your team believed you cared about them? How can you communicate that you care today?
- Interest expresses care.
- Open listening indicates care.
- Shared goals ignite care. Do you know your teammates’ goals?
- Partners fail together. What you do when people fail, reveals your character and partnership.
- Partners serve each other. Take care of your team so your team can serve others.
- Partners trust each other. Leaders move first when it comes to trust.
Connection ignites vitality but death is enduring disconnection.
Practice partnership:
The one with the most status has the opportunity to move first. Don’t wait for people to partner with you. Partner with them.
Get on their team before asking them to get on yours.
- What are your big goals?
- How might we help each other?
- How will we find and follow fulfillment at work?
- I think I know someone who could be helpful to you.
How does “partnership” impact your thinking about leadership?
How might leaders build and strengthen partnerships in organizations.
You r not alone anymore.:).I’m Optimus Prime. 🙂
🙂 I feel better now!
Dan another very good topic. But as being both a CFO of two large, public firms and the CEO of two large subsidiary businesses, I wanted to add one more thought.
As much of a team player and team builder as I tried to be, there are still times that, as the Leader, you should leave the other team members alone so they can interact without you present. This is especially true when you have had a long meeting or conference and everyone adjourns to the hotel bar for a drink. Go for one to be social and even buy a round, then leave the group on their own. This is best for you and them!
Brad
Brad James http://www.bradszootales.com
Thanks Brad. Awesome insight. Exponential growth requires that leaders help others build partnerships with others.
Agreed Brad, the partnership approach is important to be there paddling alongside your team when you’re needed or when you need to show that you’re as invested as the rest of the team. And, its important to stop and ask ourselves why we’re oaring up. I’ve worked with many leaders that have a hard time letting go of being a regular team member and letting others run with work they used to thrive and enjoy doing themselves. Stepping back and allowing team members alone time to build strong relationships without the leader is as important as the leader stepping up and joining in to power the boat. Asking yourself why you’re grabbing an oar and if you’re actually going to take direction from your team and help paddle in the right direction.
Thanks Jenn. It’s such a pleasure to see where you took Brad’s suggestion.
Ask yourself why you’re grabbing an oar. I’m more inclined to grab an oar and ask why later. Your suggestion helps me.
Paddle along side… Stay available – don’t meddle.
Thanks for your insights.
You and Brad lit the spark. I just spoke it. 🙂
The heart longs for partnership. Vitality requires it. Vibrancy is building connections and breaking silos.
Dan, this belongs either on a t-shirt or on the cover of a book. Maybe both. Your differentiation of vitality and vibrancy in this context is profound. One day, I will relate my odyssey in building connections and BLENDING silos. I can’t yet because I’m still rowing. 😀
Wow! Thanks Steven. The suggestion of BLENDING silos is incredible. It opens a new way of thinking that better captures the idea.
Yes, it does, doesn’t it? The thing about silos, especially when working with groups, is that they represent a group’s shared values, purpose, and viewpoint — the group’s identity. By “blending” silos we allow groups and individuals to retain their unique identities while revealing shared values and purpose “across” the groups to engender, as it were, a “regional” identity.
And now that you have prodded me to articulate the concept, I may have to write about.
Have a great day, Dan.
Powerful! Thanks
I like this last Text on fearing to be alone. Often by pass your site. Being a God fearing Christian. I often am afraid to follow Christ’s last commission given in Matt28:17 on. He commissio it to “Go tell” and “making disciples of all men” the again there is the First Angel of Revelation 14:6&7 this Angel is to proclaim with a loud voice “Fear God and give glory to Him, for the hour of His Judgment has come,and Him who made heaven and and earth
Well said as always. Leadership is knowing when to jump in and partner and when that person needs to journey alone for a time. I have been guilty of coming along side someone too early and now I am more aware, and more reflective before I do so.
This was the same question I was asking myself this afternoon. The issue also is to strike the right balance. Whilst you are the leading partner(heading a dept/firm), you need to have the respect as a boss as well before the team takes you for a ride.