One Key Practice that Develops Character
Character is repetition. Aristotle said, “We are what we repeatedly do.” But, there’s more.
“Character is destiny.” Heraclitus.
You become what you repeatedly do. That’s hope and responsibility. Occasional anger doesn’t make you an angry leader, repeated does.
Patterns of behavior reveal, develop, and establish character.
Unchallenged patterns congeal character. Intentional responses develop character.
Choose gratitude:
The practice of gratitude develops character.
The practice of gratitude answers dark-dog behaviors and attitudes that form negative character and limit leadership.
- Worry.
- Anger.
- Impatience.
- Sadness.
- Fear.
- Escapism.
- Resentment.
- Bitterness.
- Revenge.
- Greed.
Bring gratitude alongside any dark-dog behavior in the list. Try worry, for example. Gratitude won’t eliminate worry. Frankly, successful leaders worry. But gratitude protects you from becoming a worrier.
The practice of gratitude improves character. Patterns of ungratefulness exacerbate bad character.
You become what you repeat.
Repetition is consistency.
Consistency is predictability.
Predictability is reliability.
Reliability creates opportunity.
Action not just thought.
- Don’t wait to feel grateful to practice gratitude. Remember, “We are what we repeatedly do.”
- Don’t pretend. You may not be grateful for the problem your teammate just brought. But, you can be thankful they came to you before things got worse. Find gratitude.
- Say it, don’t just think it. Thinking is only the beginning of character development. Action is both process and result of character development.
- Find triggers. When will you express gratitude?
- Look around for things to praise. I stopped to watch a teenager washing windows in an airport. Finally, when he paused, I said, “You are doing a fantastic job. Keep it up.” Seek out praiseworthy behaviors.
- Design grateful responses before you need them. How will you express gratitude.
- Establish accountability. Who knows you’re working on gratitude? How might someone hold you accountable? Who knows you’re working on gratitude? What questions are they asking?
What dark-dog attitudes and behaviors does gratitude answer?
How might leaders fully engage in the practice of gratitude?
To choose gratitude, you have to look for things to be thankful about.
I find it is easier to see things that are not perfect, and speak to that, which leads to complaining.
Am I looking for the good, or just seeing the bad? Both are present.
Thanks Duane. It seems the trick is to find something in imperfect things to be thankful about. 🙂
And to find something in imperfect people to be thankful about. Even myself.
Thanks Duane. I’m glad you added the term “imperfect” to this topic. 🙂
Well said, Dan. Gratitude (and credit) are infinitely sharable and a tremendous lever to opportunity and accomplishment (http://wp.me/p2k440-2D). Besides that, making “I Read; I Do; I Become” a habit begets consistency, right in the sweet spot of your memory verse (http://wp.me/p2k440-bl).
Thanks Jim and thanks for extending the conversation.
Great action list… thanks for thoughtful, practical steps.
Thanks Ken. I appreciate you stopping in.
If you keep on practicing any thing consistently without fail over a period of time it becomes a habit and ultimately it becomes a character.great leaders follow great habits. they also encourage the people to follow these habits and encourage them to grow in life. Showing gratitude is one of the greatest habits which few people posses and it make them a inspiring force. One must wait to show humility and gratitude instead one must look for an opportunity.
Thanks Rajesh. I’m glad you added the idea that gratitude inspires. That’s helpful.
Gratitude can be a heavy burden. Thx for the article
Thanks Bruce. I’m not sure what you mean by “heavy burden.” 🙂
No question that gratitude EXPRESSED is so important to trusting relationships. But there’s another part of this post that grabbed my attention and Consideration:
“You become what you repeat.
Repetition is consistency.
Consistency is predictability.
Predictability is reliability.
Reliability creates opportunity.”
Thoughts and concerns (these ALL fit together):
1. Your REPUTATION is from what you repeat. To me, at least, there is only ONE repetition that leads to that produces the consistency that at least I would find worthy of predictably: considering new and previous options when dealing with situations.
2. Consistency is predictability. Really?? Not always. Favorite Einstein quotes: ‘We can’t solve the problems of today with the same knowledge and skills with which they were created.’ And ‘Insanity: Doing the same things over and over, expecting different results.’
3. Predictability creates CONFIDENCE (most times). That impacts reliability but reliability should require more – e.g., considering new and previous options when dealing with situations.
So how about a rewrite on the part of your post copied above:
You reputation comes from what you repeat.
Reputation for repeated sound problem solving is valuable consistency.
This consistency is useful predictability.
This predictability is worthy reliability.
Reliability creates opportunity to address meaningful situations.
What do others think???
Thanks John. The way you typed “expressed” drives the central point home. Feeling grateful is good. Expressing gratitude is better.
I like how you brought reputation to this topic and then grabbed these ideas and ran with them.
I think “predictability” as a matter of character rather than method helps make it more acceptable.
A reputation of finishing things enables me to predict your future behavior.
I was thinking the connection between reliability and opportunity went something like, if you have a reputation for solving problems, a boss would be more likely to give you opportunities to solve new problems.
I’m thankful for your insights.
To seek the gratitude in the imperfect requires the emotional intelligence to do so. That won’t be learned in a leadership program or an article. Wisdom is found in experience; gratitude is a by-product of that wisdom, found by many in the lost opportunities to say ‘thank you’ or show appreciation in their past.
Every action that we take either adds to or takes away from our teams. By showing an attitude of gratefulness, we raise the morale of our teams. And in turn, we will see the performance of our teams improve. I have never seen a team perform at a high level over time with leadership that is negative, critical, and ungrateful. This is not about “drinking the cool-aid,” but is about helping our team members to achieve their very best performance.