3 Strategies to Fuel Vitality and Eliminate Gossip
Gossip makes weak leaders feel powerful.
It’s foolish to undermine the people you’re counting on. Strong teams aren’t built by spreading venom, focusing on weaknesses, or dredging up animosity.
Real leaders don’t feel strong by tearing down others.
5 drains of gossip:
Complaints about others to others:
- Distract focus.
- Undermine trust.
- Weaken relationships.
- Drain vitality.
- Lower performance.
Lousy leaders only see what’s broken.
The ability to point out what’s wrong is a weak leader’s paradise. Successful leaders do what works.
The cure for gossip isn’t silence, it’s praising others to others.
3 strategies to fuel vitality and eliminate gossip:
#1. Praise teammates to higher-ups.
Praise others to others.
Take five minutes of your next one-on-one with the boss and praise a team member. Do it at the beginning of your meeting, before you dig into all the problems you need to solve.
Praise:
- Character.
- Values.
- Effort and energy.
- Fit with the team and organization. (Explain why.)
- Attitude.
- Performance and contribution.
- Behaviors. Name specific praiseworthy behaviors. (Most important.)
#2. Invite team members to praise co-workers.
Begin your next one-on-one with a direct report by saying, “Tell me something good about the people you work with.” If they need help, give them the above praise list to get them started.
Ask permission to send a praise email to their co-worker. Compose and send it while they’re in your office.
#3. Send a praise email.
Hi Mary,
I was just talking with Phil and you came up. He said you are ….
Thank you for all the good you do.
Best,
__________
Successful leaders strengthen teams and increase vitality. It’s difficult to tear down and strengthen at the same time.
Gossips speak evil of others, leaders speak well.
What are the elements of effective praise?
Good morning Dan;
‘Happy-Monday’ 2ya. I just returned to work today following a well deserved haitus visiting
‘MickeyMouse and his friends. “I thought about getting you a pair of Lite-up Mickey Mouse Xmas ears but when I went back they were sold out,, ‘Dagnabit’!”
Gossip can be a tuff one to beat in some organizations.I strongly believe the secret to beating gossip rest on the shoulders of an organizations Executive Leadership. When leaders tolerate gossip, negative consequences will follow. Comrodary and a solid sence of Team-Cohesivness is lost. Reputations can be purposley/negatively tarnished to the point that opportunities for advancment, promotion, or appointmentare no longer possable.
Lousy leaders only seem to be fixated on identifying and subsequently pointing out problems. Every organization has it’s problems, it’s up’s and down’s. I’m not advocating ignoring problems, but when problems are your organzations main focus the positive things you do begin to suffer.
If you are a victom of gossip keep being the best employee you can be. Keep your positive lines of comunication open. And if all else fail’s, “KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!”\
Got to go Dan;
Cheers my friend!!1
SGT Steve
If they talk negatively to you about others, they will talk to others negatively about you. I walked out of a situation like that recently, and am MUCH happier as a result. It’s a wonderful feeling to when your boss talks positively about others…even when they have a very good reason not to.
Gossip often springs up to fill an “information vacuum” in the organization. When people know where they stand and get constant feedback, doubt and uncertainty wither away and gossip dies. Gossip of all kinds is best fought with accurate information – the truth, in other words. Transparency may be an overused term, but it is definitely not an overused practice.
Always be dedicated to bringing the best version of yourself regardless of the limitations or negativity in others. Gossip has always been around and can actually work for the good. Help steer it, transcend it, transform it, or translate it into the positive. Strong leaders come to expect negativity and anticipate imperfect others and therefore intentionally manage with grace by modeling the higher standard while also inviting and encouraging everyone to bring their very best! Be an inspiration in the face of it!
Do actions speak louder than words? Chances are the pains we’ve most suffered in life have come from words—from ego destroying criticism, excessive anger, sarcasm, private and public humiliation, character assassination, hurtful nicknames, betrayal of secrets or confidence, rumors, or malicious gossip.
Ugly words are very powerful, and like a deadly weapon—once said, cannot be undone. And consistent use of cruel words hurt the perpetrator as well as the victim, as they can become lethally addictive. If we were to ask our staff if they could go 24-hours without saying any unkind words about or to anybody, most would immediately say yes, but thereafter would think long and hard if it’s possible.
Imagine a “Speak No Evil Day”…a 24-hour period of verbal utopia. It will be a day when we eliminate all hurtful and unfair talk. It will be a day when our children—frequently teased by bullies—can go to school confident no one will say a cruel word. It will be a day employees can come to work without fearing the verbal abuse of a sharp-tongued boss, and bosses can go to the workplace without the dread of hearing lunchroom gossip. It will be a day when everyone will use the power of words to heal others’ emotional wounds and not to inflict them. It will be a day of sweet revenge.
Catherine;
That was very well said. What you wrote today reminds me of a paragragh regarding Inter-Personal Communication which is part of a presentation I routinely give on Character-Based Leadership. one line goes as follows; “Our words are who we are, at the end of the day BE PROUD OF WHO YOU ARE…”
THANKS!
SGT Steve
Thank you, SGT Steve. I always note how you read the comments of others. That’s precisely why you’re a leader and why people follow you and respect you: Character-based Leadership.
I practice it too here in my medical clinic and research foundation for medical diagnoses for referring physicians. I too believe words are who we are, or put another way: We are not who we think we are, but what we THINK…we are. This means if we are careful and think about our words, that’s who we really are. Continued blessings and success to you, SGT Steve.
Catherine;
“Thank you for the kind words.”
Respectfully yours,
SGT Steve 🙂
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In his comedy ‘Much Ado About Nothing’, William Shakespeare coined the phrase: “A genius insults his brother by being.” That negative person whom you describe in your post exposes a lack of character from the point of her first attack. In other words, she bury herself with her own dirt. Grace on our part will never let ‘gossip or tear-downs have much effect on us.