Success is Never about being Successful
You lose yourself when success is all about being successful. Arrogance or discouragement rule the day.
When success is about being successful, it controls and eventually destroys you.
Successful leadership sneaks up on you while you’re pursuing other things.
Three principles that lead to surprising success:
#1. Leverage the circle of identity:
The circle of identity: Behaviors express and form identity.
You are more than behaviors and you become what you repeatedly do.
- The journey toward successful leadership begins when finger-pointing ends. Change your behaviors before trying to change “theirs.”
- How might inner turmoil reveal conflict between present behaviors and aspirational identity?
- How might frustrations with others reveal who you are?
- Focus on the the grain of truth in painful feedback. Excuses congeal a disappointing present.
Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”
Don’t worry about making a difference. Be a difference.
#2. Become the person you wish others were. Your aspirations for others may reveal your own.
“They should,” is actually, “I should.”
People often begin the leadership journey with the idea that it’s about changing others. Leadership is about your change before it’s about theirs.
#3. Get lost in a desire to serve, not aspirations to be great.
Aspire to leadership because you want to serve, not be served.
- The issue is how you achieve greatness, not that you desire it.
- Serve because of who you are, not the results you achieve.
- Meet a need if you want to matter.
- Make someone else great if you aspire to greatness.
What behaviors might result in success finding leaders?
Dan,
Becoming Leaders within ourselves takes courage and determination, how we bring that out in “changing others” is the culmination of coaching and guidance from many sources. Probably the biggest challenge is seeking out the right methods to promote these individuals into leaders. Start with small challenges so they can grow,, although that is not always how Leadership works! We can’t “Tip toe through the Tulips” all the time! Sometimes leaders are made in an instant, having to take charge for various reason, just wear the hat and run with it!
Thanks Tim. I love how you begin with yourself and then move to others. Insightful.
Dan,
Years ago when discussing our multitude of opportunities a seasoned leader simply advised me to “BE THE ONE”. Looking back that simple statement to not focus on others, but simply take action myself in changing what I had control or influence over was powerful. Of course it took longer to truly sink in than I would like to admit. But it still rings true today.
Thank you for continuing to share great inspiration.
Thanks Steve. Love the line, “Be the one.” I feel the tension between leadership being about others and leadership being about us.
Isn’t interesting that it takes awhile for things to sink in. It’s taken me a long time to be ready to learn certain truths. The ideas I wrote about today are one example. 🙂
An encouraging read this morning. Just started a new business and have already felt the discouragement and seen the finger pointing. It is not productive! Glad you shared this Dan, thanks.
Thanks sullclean. Congratulations on starting your new business. I see a roller coaster in your future. 🙂 Best wishes for the journey!
It’s a rollercoaster presently but we’re loving it…Thanks!
One of my first leadership mentors taught me: “The privilege of leadership conveys an obligation to serve others, not a license to indulge oneself.” That principle, among others, guided me throughout my career.
Dan as a CFO I was involved and managed dozens of mergers and financings. When Bankers were involved they gave anyone associated with the deal a lucite tombstone as a reminder. Some people collect and display these as a measure of their own importance and success. I have only kept two of these for the deals that had the most significance on the companies I worked for. True success is not personal but about your team and its business. Great post
Brad
Brad James , author The Business Zoo
I just love this one! I have learned that the hardest, but most important question I need to ask myself when I’m angry or frustrated with a situation or other people is: “What about ME needs to change so that this won’t bother me in the future?”
I’m continually working on this…
Good morning Dan;
A very good post today my friend. There ‘can be’ a myriad of ways that people define success. However, I believe there is but 1 way to determine ones success.
First off, does your presence add ‘value’ to the organization you work for? Do you unselfishly & routinely reach out to others in an attempt to build a feeling of community in the workplace? Does your daily work ethic inspire others to be and do their best? Do others feel you have their best interest at heart? When, or, if you transfer, promote to a new position, or, retire, do people feel a sincere loss and miss your presence and influence? And lastly, if the general consensus is that your daily walk exhibits a ‘Servants Heart’, YOU ARE A SUCSESS….
Gota go my friend. BTW, Debb & I are not too far behind you and Dale where wedding anniversaries are concerned.. “Gosh we must be get’n old!!!”
Cheers Dan
SGT Steve
The first thing that came to mind when I saw the post title was “What is your definition of success?” Now i know. Agreed!
Thanks Dan! I look forward to your posts everyday.
Everyday I take a positive morsel away from your posts. Today I will be doing several reviews; some challenging. This will help me keep the focus on the positive and to serve them. Thank you!
Dan,
I do not operate a business however I was a leader in the classroom for years. Your words are very inspirational thank you for sharing. I worked in a Catholic school as was privileged to teach the children that the greatest Leader that they were blessed to know and love was Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. For those who believe (or not) humble yourself before the Lord your Ultimate Leader you will open your heart to his the Plan he has for you in the workplace your coworkers and clients will appreciate it! Thanks for your awesome Leadership tips!