3 Ways Leaders Drive People Nuts
Imagine the person on your team who drives you nuts. Realize you drive others crazy, too, but they’re afraid to tell you.
A leader’s quirks, inconsistencies, and weaknesses should be addressed, not tolerated.
3 ways leaders drive people nuts:
#1. Respond emotionally to problems, failure, or tough situations.
Emotionally unpredictable leaders are bullies.
- People walk on eggshells when you’re emotionally unpredictable. Emotional leaders distract and drain teammates.
- Make snap decisions in the moment. Change your mind later.
- Throw-up your hands in frustration.
Passion goes right when it invigorates and wrong when it intimidates.
Emotionally steady leaders enable boldness.
#2. Show up unprepared for meetings.
- Arrive late and make excuses.
- Search for meeting notes after you arrive.
- Ask to be briefed after you arrive.
- Hold meetings without clear purpose or agendas.
Busyness is never an excuse for lack of preparation.
Lack of preparation makes others feel you’re incompetent.
#3. Appear disinterested during one on ones
- Finish a task after your appointment arrives. “I”ll be right with you. I just need to finish this email.”
- Answer email while someone is talking.
- Keep looking at your phone or watch.
Distracted leaders make people feel devalued.
If you want the best from others, let them know they’re valued.
7 more ways leaders drive people nuts:
- Solve problems in email.
- Schedule important meetings at the end of the day.
- Complain about people to their teammates.
- Expect more from others than you expect from yourself.
- Create an unsustainable pace.
- Talk with a loud voice.
- Give yourself perks.
4 tips for leaders who drive people crazy:
- Remember how important you are. The more important you are, the more important good manners become.
- Remember how important they are. You succeed when your team succeeds. Don’t make things more difficult than they need to be.
- Preparation says you value other people’s time.
- Stay calm.
How do leaders drive people nuts?
What suggestions do you have for leaders who drive people nuts?
Excellent Post! I would be careful with “Remember how important you are.” I have seen too many leaders who think they are more important than they really are. This can lead to all kinds of problems. The world doesn’t revolve around the leader. The leader is there to help everyone keep the world turning. I know the post is not looking at it this way, but it is always worth remembering.
Agree with your comment! I think it’s important to remember leaders are always being watched and scrutinized, so the way leaders conduct themselves leaves a lasting impact on their team.
Hi Bill and Misti: It’s admirable you guys would hone-in on the “egotistic, entitled, narcissistic, and perhaps even selfish power-trip” in the word “important.” Your awareness of this is indicative of your sense of humility…not thinking less of yourself, rather thinking of yourself less.
I believe because of Dan’s following sentence–regarding a leader’s influence as tied to the importance to one’s title–it’s an obligation of a leader to be cognizant to be kind, decent and extend common courtesy, for example. It’s like the age-old adage: It’s nice to be important, it’s also important to be nice.
Agreed excellent post! I believe what Dan was getting at was this. Make your manners match how important you are. Reality is we are all very important. Therefore we all need great manners. Great manners would cover all the wrongs leaders do that is written in this article.
This is a good one. I sometimes catch myself doing these things (except for late day meetings) after a very busy or rushed week.
Wow! GUILTY! Oh how this one hits home.
My pet peeve is Number 3, “Appear Disinterested.” Although all of the main 3 (plus the other 7) need to be minded as well, nothing crushes a persons spirit and confidence to feel like they do not matter. Been on the receiving end of that one too many times. Thanks, Dan!
Good one! Some valuable reminders for me in there.
Reminds me of the classic but little-known model by Daniel Ofman, over-done ‘core qualities’, that I’ve used in coaching. Ref: http://www.unfoldconflicts.nl/your-best-trait-can-lead-to-conflicts/and Ofman is at http://corequality.nl/en/. Thanks once more, Dan!
Great advice! Thankfully, I have not run across many leaders like those you described, and as I quickly assess myself, I know that I’m guilty of the “Let me finish typing this e-mail.” response when people just drop in to ask a quick question. I, too, am a work in progress.
That explains why I never rise above Associate Dean… Item #6 in “seven more ways…” I was always reminded by colleagues that they always knew where I was as ‘my voice travelled’ – their kind way of putting it!!!
Crazy thing: I remember one particular class when one young man came in and sat in the middle of the second row – and proceeded to sleep every class except for exam days!!! Always was tempted to wake him up in a number of different / crazy ways but never did!
Always hated those meetings held because “we always meet this time every week.” If I were still ‘on the job’, I’d buy those ribbons that say something like “Survived another meeting that should never have been scheduled!” A well prepared poll, memo, sub-group meeting, or select phone calls too often are not even considered!!!
Leaders need to be clear about priorities. Drives me nuts when there are 15 projects on the table and they are all supposedly of equal importance. That can’t possibly be true. Commit to what’s most important.
Here is another one…Talking too much. I know you are the leader.
I Think good leaders know the unbelievable value of communication…when it is relevant. Too much talk is exhausting. It’s why I dont enjoy leadership positions. It requires too much energy audibly.