How Intense Curiosity About People Enhances Influence and Expands Leadership
Mitchell Warner’s observation that humble leaders are intensely curious about others makes me wonder why I’m not more humble. I’ve been called the ‘question man’ all my life.
Leadership curiosity includes:
- Curiosity about events. What’s happening?
- Curiosity about mistakes. What went wrong?
- Curiosity about next steps. What’s next?
- Curiosity about best practices. What’s working?
Leadership curiosity is often about getting things done, not people on the team. It’s transactional, more than relational. People become tools, if you aren’t careful.
Humility isn’t simply being curious. It’s intense curiosity about people.
Curiosity about what’s next – apart from curiosity about people – comes off as pressure. Additionally, it’s possible that curiosity about mistakes is a form of arrogance.
Humble curiosity:
I feel a shift in myself when I move away from what I want to get done and toward intense curiosity about people.
Authentic curiosity about people is the tipping point between real influence and manipulation.
Influence and effectiveness expand with intense curiosity about people.
Manipulation is inconsistent with intense curiosity about the challenges others face. Influence is built on understanding people. Curiosity is a beginning.
Intense curiosity about others is:
- Respectful. Curiosity about others expresses high regard for others.
- Open. When you have the answer, you use it to evaluate others.
- Courageous. Humble curiosity digs into tough issues.
- Accepting. People have strengths AND weaknesses. You must know and accept people before you can help them find their place of impact.
- Compassionate.
- Relational.
- Inspirational. High esteem captures hearts and ignites energy.
You might be curious about many things, but curiosity about people reflects and develops humility.
What prevents leaders from being intensely curious about people?
How might you be intensely curious about the people on your team?
If you suddenly become curious about people and you do not have that habit now, be cautious how you approach this development opportunity. One useful technique is to gradually open the curtain about yourself. Many leaders are shrouded in mystery and seem to be unapproachable. A leader’s curiosity about people will be suspicious if the leader is shrouded in mystery.
MAKE time to get to know people. Counsel your direct reports and those who report to your direct reports. But…counsel them in an open, conversational manner when doing developmental counseling. MAKE time during transitions between events to visit with a few of those you lead. Over time, you will develop a reputation for being approachable and people will bring issues to your attention that want/need to know. Consider this type of information and act on it if appropriate in a measured, disciplined manner – focusing on the issue and the lessons to learn from each situation. In many cases, working these type of issues can open developmental opportunities for those you lead and they can learn from honest mistakes that you underwrite as a leader.
Thanks R.A. You are so right. Any significant change in behavior calls for transparency with the team and openness regarding intent. Great add.
I try to approach everyday with the mindset of, “What am I going to learn today?” 9.9 times out of 10 it’s the people I meet each day that teach me the most, I just need to remind myself to pay attention. Even my interviewing technique has evolved from determining if this candidate is a fit for our Company, to what can I learn from this candidate. This approach has relaxed my disposition resulting in much more open dialogue. I was never able identify my thought process until I read this on Curiosity. Thank you!
Thanks Tim. The idea that curiosity answers stress can’t be minimized. The need to have all the answers before exploration creates pressure.
I think judging others plays a huge role in this. When we judge we are arrogant, manipulative and close minded. When we are non-judging, we are curious about others, open to their ideas and focus on really seeing, hearing and understanding them. We value them and their perspectives and that comes through loud and clear. When we judge, we tell, blame and shame all of which message disrespect and don’t support learning and engagement. To be open, requires one to be humble and I believe comfortable with ambiguity, having no need to control all aspects of an outcome.
Our focus this year is curiosity. Timely and a great read!
Your article describes narrative therapists! Brilliant and inspiring- thank you.