How to Ignite Development in the Arrogant and Resistant
Arrogance can’t see a need for development.
Ask egotistical managers if they run great meetings. (Insert any management skill.) Of course they do! There’s no point in telling them they don’t.
Pride invites big-headed managers to blame others when things go poorly and honor themselves when things go right.
Correct an arrogant manager and you’ll likely be insulted for your trouble.
How to ignite growth in the arrogant:
Step one:
Invite your egotistical manager to think of someone who runs terrible meetings. Don’t name the manager. Ask, “What makes the worst meetings terrible?”
List every observation he makes. Don’t improve on his list. When he gives a reason for bad meetings, write it down. Ask, “And what else?”
Rank the manager who runs the very worst meetings a “1”.
Step two:
Ask your overconfident manager to think of a manager who consistently runs fantastic meetings. Ask:
- What makes the very best meetings great?
- What does the person leading the meeting do?
- What do they avoid?
List every observation he makes. When he gives a reason for great meetings, write it down. Ask, “And what else?”
Rank the manager who runs the very best meetings a “10”.
Step 3:
Ask your cocky manager to rank the meetings he runs. Don’t accuse or criticize. Say, “Where do you place yourself on the line between the very worst and the very best.
For this exercise, it doesn’t matter where he ranks himself, as long as it’s somewhere between 1 and 10. Don’t adjust his assessment.
Step 4:
Suppose he ranks his ability to run great meetings at an 8. Say, “That’s great. We’re all about growth here. How might you move to a 9?” Make a list of specific behaviors that improve meetings. Choose one behavior to try next time.
You don’t have to prove someone is lousy to encourage them to grow.
How might managers help arrogant team members grow?
How might you improve the four steps listed above?
Love this Dan. SELF identification, SELF labeling without that element of someone else being an evaluator. I would imagine that most of those who would be arrogant will not place themselves @ 10 in whatever the category is.
My armchair psych. degree says…I could see their arrogance leading them to some level of humbleness to demonstrate they are not arrogant. Beautiful.
Typically in our world, this type of assessment would be facilitated by a lesser ‘ranked’ employee. I believe it will work. I wonder also…would placing that persons Director into the conversation impact the self assessment positively or negatively?
Thanks Will. Some things left out of this post are environment, tone, intent, location, and as you add, the person asking the questions.
A culture where ‘getting better’ is normal and consistent across the organization is perhaps the most important component of success. I suppose there is lots of room to explore these connected issues.
You’re a mind Jedi and I love it!!
Thanks Josh.
Side note. I would love to learn more about how you think. What are your top book recommendations on leadership that have helped sculpt your mind?
Thank you Dan!
My favorite book is often the one I am currently reading. If you haven’t read The Leadership Challenge, you might consider that book.
Brilliant! Thank you for the details and ideas!
Thanks Joyce.
So simple, yet so effective! Thanks, Dan, for a simple way to bring about self-discovery without judgment from the one asking the question. A great approach and something that would work well in our coaching environment.
These questions caused me to stop and reflect on my own practice and think about what’s effective and not effective. . . Thank you!
I like your point that “you don’t have to prove someone is lousy to encourage them to grow.” I suppose in a coaching-style environment (or when trying to encourage the emergence of one) there needs to be clarity about what’s important – being ‘right’, proving the other person ‘wrong’, or moving the organisation/team forward optimally. It’s great to have ways of moving arrogant people forward without having to go through the pain of challenging the arrogance. The way you’ve described also helps such a person to appreciate that there are always improvements to be made, however good someone may be (or think they are) at something. That’s the way everyone can grow and appreciate the contribution of everyone else. Thanks for another great thought-provoking post, Dan!
I appreciate the positive nature of the correction. What do you do with managers who rate themselves a 9 when everyone else thinks they are a 1? You have to speak the same language to communicate well.
Thanks Dick. If the gap is that big, do they belong in the organization? I wonder if a 360 degree assessment would be helpful.
The other thing that comes to mind is if they commit to up their number, would that be enough? In other words, “How do you get to a 10?”
However, it seems like a gap that big suggests direct intervention.
If you think of people’s performance as below the bar – at the bar – or above the bar you might gain insight into how to deal with them. Above the bar people have maximium freedom when it comes to development. Less freedom is appropriate for those who are below the bar.
Well, there are a few thoughts.
Dan I’d love to hear your answer to Dick’s question and I’d like to ask: what if “mr or mrs cocky” decide they are a 10? Do we then perhaps talk to them about how they might become extraordinary at an 11? I am not being facetious. I face so many companies where arrogant managers are the norm. They are treated as if they can’t be touched. They block any form of reasonable progress. Those in HR are hard-pressed to implement any programs because they fear that money will be spent and nothing will change. I know I’ve surfaced some other issues but I do need your thoughts on this. Thank you
Thanks Giselle. I responded to Dick, but I’m not sure how useful it is.
JUst a thought with reluctant HR departments. Would trying something small be helpful. Run a pilot program with some influential team members.
The other thing I like to do when I sense concern if things will change is to discuss what it would look like to them if things changed. It’s sometimes useful to clarify the picture of the future we would like to achieve. Once there’s a picture, moving toward might make more sense. Just some thoughts.