Some people have positive, healthy associations with conflict, but most do not.
The casualties of conflict:
- Drama.
- Violence.
- Broken relationships.
- Uncomfortable tension.
The culprit:
Conflict isn’t the problem.
Google the word “conflict” and the most frequently associated terms are “resolution,” “mediation,” “management,” and “reduction.” The message? Conflict is the problem.
The problem with conflict mediation, management, and reduction programs is that each one positions conflict as the culprit.
Conflict is a tremendous source of energy if we use it properly.
Definition:
Conflict is the energy created by the gap between what we want and what we are experiencing at any point in time.
Myths:
- Peace is the absence of conflict.
- Compassion means less conflict.
More on counterproductive myths of conflict.
3 secrets to using conflict to create:
- Be open. It feels uncomfortable, vulnerable and counterintuitive, yet being transparent about your feelings and motives during conflict is the best way to create a safe place for real conversation. Authenticity starts with openness.
- Be a resource, don’t rescue. During conflict, it’s tempting to give unsolicited advice. Nothing breeds defensiveness more. Come with resources and options, share advice only if asked, and always stay curious.
- Know your non-negotiables. Conflict destroys when we give ultimatums, threats, or draw lines in the sand. Instead get clear about what’s at stake for you, why it matters, and what principles you desire to uphold. Share these without expectations, and be prepared to work toward honoring them.
You can change the world, one creative conflict at a time!
What warning do you have about dealing with conflict?
How might leaders leverage the creative power of conflict?
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20 free copies of, Conflict without Casualties.
Leave a comment on this guest post by Dr. Nate Regier to become eligible to win one of TWENTY complimentary copies of Conflict without Casualties. (Deadline: 4/29/2017)
About Dr. Nate Regier
Dr. Nate Regier is the co-founding owner and chief executive officer of Next Element, a global advisory firm specializing in building cultures of compassionate accountability. A former practicing psychologist, Regier is an expert in social-emotional intelligence and leadership, positive conflict, mind-body-spirit health, neuropsychology, group dynamics, interpersonal and leadership communication, executive assessment and coaching, organizational development, team building and change management. An international adviser, he is a certified Leading Out of Drama master trainer, Process Communication Model® certifying master trainer and co-developer of Next Element’s Leading Out of Drama® training and coaching. Nate has published two books: Beyond Drama and his latest work, Conflict without Casualties.
