All I Want is Just a Little Respect
Aretha Franklin speaks for everyone when she sings, “All I want is just a little respect.”
Don’t poke dogs and expect them to kiss you.
The song, “Respect,” was written by Otis Redding. He released it in 1965, but Aretha Franklin’s version, released on her debut album in 1967, rocketed her to fame.
“R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me.”
Give respect:
Respect is given. The person giving respect is making a decision to show regard, admiration, and honor.
Rise above the tendency to withhold all respect because you find some fault.
Search for opportunities to show respect. You lose when imperfections in one area are reasons to withhold respect in all areas. If you can’t find something to respect about the people around you, you’re on the wrong team.
Three truths:
Regard:
Disrespect devalues. Giving respect is letting someone know you value something about their character, behavior, or achievements. I use “or” in the previous sentence because you could respect someone’s character, even if they were an underachiever, for example.
Respect expresses positive regard.
Admiration:
Disrespect looks down on. Giving respect occurs when you show appreciation. You might say, “I appreciate you.” Or, “I appreciate that you did xyz.”
Honor:
Disrespect discredits. Respect is noticing a distinguishing quality. “You’re one of our most reliable team members.” You don’t have to say, “You’re more reliable than Bob.”
Three respect tips:
- Work with those you respect and those who respect you.
- Ask people what makes them feel respected. Unexpressed respect is untapped energy.
- Disagree with respect.
Respect project:
Record five things you admire about each member of your team. If this sounds difficult, you’re a respect deficit leader.
Disrespect drains people. Respect energizes them.
What prevents leaders from showing respect?
How might leaders show respect today?
I was always taught that if you don’t respect the person you still need to respect the position. Coming from the military and now working in emergency service I know there is a place for that idea. Some leaders may be a person that you find it hard to respect them. You still have to respect the position that they are in. This applies to many areas from a leaders of our country (who I think is doing a great job) or to the leader of your team.
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The idea of disagreeing with respect resonates with me today. I’m thinking of meetings I’ve been a part of where disagreement has not been expressed respectfully. Could folks share some examples of phrasing for being respectful while expressing another point of view?
Confrontation is a leaders opportunity to communicate in a professional manner. It is all about establishing acceptable behavior prior to the event. I make it clear two people with different views having a conversation is normal. Two people yelling and scream is not acceptable and will never be allowed. Its all about establish limits before hand.
Great post! I gave a Power Point presentation on Respect in the workplace a few years back, I wish I would have had this as a reference, its great…. On the plus side, I still nailed it, but there are some view points here that are fantastic! 🙂
Great article! This brings to mind what my parents always taught “if you have to demand respect than it’s not yours BUT if you command respect then it’s freely given to you because of who you are”! Sometimes the words demand and command can have the same meaning but what my parents were teaching is how you conduct yourself in the public and privately determines how people treat you. You can’t force or demand anyone to give you respect if you aren’t behaving in a respectful manner. Conduct yourself appropriately, treat others as you want them to treat you, speak to others how you want to be spoken to; then people will freely give you respect and you usually won’t have to demand it. Privately and in the workplace I respect myself first, therefore my behavior never gets out of line, I stop and think prior to acting out, I always say “with all due respect” when I disagree and respectfully give my opinion or thoughts. I respect everyone even if their behavior doesn’t deserve it, that may mean I may have to walk away with respect until emotions have subsided. I respect the person and/ or the position! Yes it is difficult at times and can be very trying. However, I always think about the fact knowledge and appreciation are integral characteristics of “command”, therefore I know how to conduct myself and hopefully let the other person know I appreciate and find value in them. I never want to feel that I have to demand respect OR it’s demanded that I give respect. As a leader we are obligated to be teachers, coaches and trainers to our staffs. Lead by example and hopefully the value is instilled so that our staff can then be the example of RESPECT!
If only we had a President who applied even a little of this. Sadly, we are not seeing this modeled at any way right now in the highest levels in our government.
To receive respect you must FIRST give respect. There is another dimension to this expectation. That is to demonstrate humility . But it comes with a terrible cost. However the long term gains are always comforting and priceless