Why You Should Put Your Feet On Your Desk
Formal conversations promote guarded fakery and artificial relationships. Team members put on their professional faces.
Recently, a team member explained how a business owner made it safe to connect.
Feet on the desk:
I was surprised to hear a team member explain the power of the boss putting his feet on the desk. The message was, “Hey, we’re having a real conversation.” Of course, there were other factors that promoted connection, not the least of which is this leader doesn’t like the term boss.
Along with putting his feet on the desk, this leader consistently provides opportunities for team members to engage in self-reflection. Additionally, he listens to answers. In other words, putting your feet on the desk – by itself – won’t ignite relatedness or promote engagement.
It takes time and intention for leaders to overcome the gap that power and position naturally create.
The leader with his feet on the desk is also:
- Authentic.
- Vulnerable.
- Open.
- Curious.
- Transparent.
Overcoming distance:
Recurring conversations create an environment where people flourish through connection.
Recurring conversations:
- Prioritize relatedness.
- Promote fulfillment.
- Elevate engagement.
- Strengthen alignment. Recurring conversations enable teams to harmoniously row in the same direction.
Note: coaching is an essential ingredient in this organization. The leader I’m describing has been coached and, more importantly, continues to hone his coaching skills.
How might leaders have conversations that enable team members to flourish?
How does gender impact the idea of putting your feet on the desk?
I don’t agree. I always saw this as a power trip, nothing else. I had one former coworker who would do this all of the time when he wanted to show who was in charge of the conversations.
Thanks Yourmind… I think your comment is important. It seems to verify that it takes more than putting your feet up. Heart matters. An arrogant disconnected leader only verifies their disconnection when they put their feet up.
The story I relate works because the body language expressed the heart.
In most cultures around the world, especially in the Middle East and Asia, putting your feet in people’s face, showing the bottoms of your feet, or wearing shoes in the house is a huge, huge cultural no-no. My English Learners come here and are shocked when they have people put their feet up like this. There is nothing about love with this gesture. I enjoy reading your posts but this one…..
I agree. I had a boss who put his feet up on his desk and I always felt it was a power thing for him. He would put his hands behind his head also and that posture was, in my opinion, disrespectful and arrogant.
Jayne, yes, very true
I do agree. I tend to do this in the afternoons when having relaxed conversations in our office.
Thanks Jon. I’m noticing that many leaders seem to enjoy ‘taking care of business’ in the morning and reserving conversations for the afternoon.
I like it. Take care of business in the morning and have your conversations in the afternoon!
I think “putting your feet on your desk” creates a relaxed atmosphere and a feeling of “Oh, so you mean I can stretch my arms” especially to junior employees who are still infused with a lot of formality. This will enable you, as leader to get feedback/critique which you will then channel into the development of your business.
Thanks Derrick. Your comment go me thinking of the power of creating safe environments. Connection requires safety.
I rarely do this, but yesterday happened to be a day I did. The change in my body language (nonverbal communication) changed the discussion. We began exploring ideas of what can be rather than continue critiquing what is. Many factors may influence whether it is appropriate for the audience or not.
Thanks Duane. I appreciate your story. I’ve also observed that body language matters. Things like removing barriers between people, for example, is helpful. Thanks again.
TO: yourmindinbloom. By the sounds of it the co-worker you are referring to was not:
Authentic.
Vulnerable.
Open.
Curious.
Transparent.
The foot on desk was indeed fakery
Thanks Will. Yourmind’s comment reminded me that you can’t fake it. Our behaviors and body language need to align with our values and heart.
I think the concept is correct – even if the actual pose of feet on desk may not be suited to everyone’s personality. You can achieve that same signal to engage in a comfortable, authentic, open discussion by many postures and means — but they have to suit you and probably can’t be such a culture shock to your staff that they spend more of the meeting wondering what’s gotten into you vs. what we want to accomplish. Not sitting behind the desk, having some snacks handy, rolling up your sleeves, taking a meeting while walking outside — whatever shows that you’re both in it together and not one person being assessed — that’ll do the trick.
Thanks Mary. Brilliant. Love snacks!! 🙂
I love your point of view.
I tend to dislike “the feet on the desk”, mainly as I associate it with an arrogance, I have witnessed this. Now, if both or all have “feet on the desk” during a discussion, equality, there may be be some very constructive, worthwhile discussions had, nobody being defensive.
Thanks Thinker. I’m glad you jumped in here. I can see that ‘feet up’ might be an issue. I also wondered about gender. If the boss is a women, does it matter?
This post shares a story that included many conversations where the leader demonstrated a commitment to the well-being of his team member. The person who related the story said that his reluctance to connect was overcome by persistence. His ‘boss’ just kept on showing interest. The ‘feet up’ was like a cheery on top.
One lesson I took was that it takes lots of work to narrow the gap that power and position creates.
It shouldn’t, some may say it doesn’t, but it more than likely does. Going down the equality highway, it shouldn’t. The overall environment may also have an impact on if it were to matter or not, be acceptable or not. With all the office ergonomics that there are today, I certainly wouldn’t encourage it as common practice. ps I was also brought up, lectured to as a youngster mainly school teachers, to sit on my chair properly, especially no balancing it on two legs whilst sitting on it! 🙂
common sense, logical reasoning & judgement, environment, discussion topic to name but a few should be taken into consideration if it is to be a “feet on the desk” time or not. The idea of a non-desk discussion, mug of refreshment, biscuit to dunk in refreshment (got to be a dunking biscuit), creating a relaxed, open, no barriers and hopefully honest, constructive and successful discussion.
I think your final question about how gender impacts this is an important one. Is the feet on the desk just as inviting when the leader is a man and the employee is a woman? I’ve never liked it and agree with the person above who said it looks like a power grab. But the idea of creating an informal space is a great one, and there may be other non-verbal ways to do that — perhaps arrangement of chairs or offering a cup of coffee.
Thanks Katell. I’m so glad you joined in. There is another iteration of putting your feet up. Does it matter if the boss is a woman?
I was once given feedback that I was intimidating. Not because of my physical presence but because of my competence. When I go to talk with someone, I will sometimes sit on the desk top. That does two things. First, it let them know that this is an informal situation. Second, it reminds me to step things down, break out the steps and explain the why in addition to the what. Putting my feet on the desk might accomplish the same thing, but isn’t something I am comfortable with. So the question isn’t whether a woman can or can’t put up her feet. The question is what posture are you comfortable with as a sign — for both you and the other person — that this is an informal conversation.
Additionally – body language of sitting on one foot or leaning on a wall while speaking in the hall can be helpful. Anything that shows you are relaxed and open to feedback (good and bad) will help boost sense of security in those you work with. When people are comfortable and secure amazing ideas/solutions can be cultivated. By being “buttoned up” and rigidly professional your followers may be on edge afraid of saying the wrong thing and won’t express thier ideas – which in some cases may be game changers!
Thanks Katie. I’m starting to get the idea that being calm and patient is essential. Be sure the interior is calm and then make sure that body language and environment communicate it effectively.
I appreciate this article as this is the culture that myself, as well as the rest of the Leadership structure in my department maintains on a daily basis. Again, great article! I look forward to reading your articles daily!
Thanks Anthony. Your use of culture is useful. Things like informal conversations both establish, validate, and sustain culture. In a way, culture building is very easy. However, it requires constant attention.
Great post! I think we could all debate over feet on or off the desk or the appropriate time in which to hold a less formal conversation. However, the main takeaway for me is in the power of mirroring. As a leader, you set the tone for any interaction. When the interaction begins with open body language, open/curious tone in your voice, and a willingness to be an open listener – you have stepped into a collaborative and supportive moment that the other person can feel free to mirror. It is an amazing moment when you no longer see a title on a badge, but a professional colleague that wants to position you for success.
As you also mentioned, Coaching is essential!
Dan, goodbye dear friend. Today is my last day in the office as I head to retirement. For years you have been my guiding light. When I needed an outside/inner voice for direction i could always count on you to give straight clear direction. I have worked in a denominational leadership team where the language of the church is often different in application. Your approach to leadership has helped me grow and with the feedback I’m getting has been carried to the teams I led. Thank you, and once more thank you.
Wow! Congratulations Terry. It’s pure joy to be of service. I wish you the best.
You could always drop in from time to time. 🙂 Cheers!
I concur!! I’m still in ministry – I’m 38. You helped me transform my focus and my trajectory. Cheers, Dan!
I totally agree with the comment that putting your feet up on the desk is usually a power move – unless the boss makes it very clear that everybody is invited to put their feet up on the desk! Also, in many cultures, showing feet (especially the bottoms) is a big no-no.
But I definitely agree with the wider point. You rock Dan!
It’s being able to listen to your staff. Feet on the desk is a way to break down the wall and enable communication. It’s normally intimidating for an employee to go to the supervisor/managers office. I’ve found that going to them works better. They are then not as intimidated as you are on their turf and makes the conversation more meaningful as they are better able to think.
Hi Dan and all,
There’s also a litmus test available here. If the boss puts the feet up, does the employee observably relax? Does the employee dare to put their own feet up? If my boss put his feet up on his desk I simply wouldn’t know what to do with myself, and would be unlikely to call the feeling connection. But taking your point: each leader can decide their own ‘feet on the desk’ invitation to connect with colleagues. (‘Yes’! to snacks, of course 🙂 )
Wow! Great discussions, observations and points of view. I never worked in an environment where putting “boots” on the desk was acceptable – and I’m still a conflicted with this concept. However, I think a boss that moves from behind the desk and engages in conversation in front of the desk beside or across from the employee conveys a strong message that “we are on the same team and I want to hear what you have to say.” Great post!
I’m with the Sgt. and the rest on acceptable, to me it never was, times change, people change so I will be open minded on this concept!
Since we are looking at a relaxed environment I suppose it could be o.k. just not feeling the connection. I guess since it is your desk, do what makes you feel good, things are changing I could accept it, probably would struggle for a while.
As mentioned other cultures see this as a sign of disrespect, so if the the shoes fit wear them where it is acceptable
I appreciate the concept here but see a real gender issue. What if a woman had her feet on the desk? Would that be interpreted differently? And if she was wearing a skirt…….then this can’t happen. It just seems like a male “posture” to me and as a leader I never did put my feet on the desk but always kept conversations open and authentic without the feet on the desk.
Christine Melone
Absolutely agree with you, Christine and had the same thought. This gesture does not say equality to me.
It is indeed it is a power pose but also an authentic gesture….
There’s info on power poses and the chemical reactions that happen in the brain check out https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are
Pretty interesting stuff.
Wow. this one really surprised me and I never see this act as something positive. Personally, I have never tried this in front of my team and I am still reluctant to do do as it might come off the other way to others. But will be reading the thoughts of others on this post. Thanks for this.
I understand the metaphor of putting your feet on your desk. Obviously in every office setting this may not be appropriate, but when dealing with guys on my shift I have my professional voice and my regular voice. When get up to speak, or have to talk in a managers meeting I get my professional voice on. But when walking the halls and interacting with people I make sure to use my, “hey man its okay you don’t have to be guarded I’m just chilling voice.”