The Introspection that Comes Before Complaint, Confrontation, or Correction
One of the most pathetic expressions of inept management is complaining about something that hasn’t been discussed with the people involved.
Complaints are bold, loud, and long when the people we’re talking about aren’t in the room.
Bravery seems to be connected to proximity.
Introspection comes before complaint, confrontation, or correction.
4 questions for introspection:
#1. How did you define success before the project began?
You can’t achieve excellence until you have described the behaviors that produce it. This includes behaviors associated with effective planning, efficient execution, and reflective evaluation.
Incompetent managers love to point out failure after the fact, rather than defining success before the fact.
#2. How did you lead the team in the process of defining success?
Impatient managers cut short discussions about success.
When the issue of defining success is first brought up, rooms often go quiet. Because silence is awkward, everyone is glad to go with shallow first answers. The general feeling is let’s move on.
People think they know what success looks like, but often the best they can do is mumble about things they don’t want.
You might ask, “If we succeed, what will be true for our customers and our team?” This is a deceptively difficult question. It includes questions like, “What will be different if we succeed?” The answer isn’t simply more income.
#3. How did you lead the team in describing the path to success?
We fail while trying to succeed.
When the path forward is foggy, success is seldom achieved.
Consider these questions:
- What is our shared language?
- What recurring questions will we ask each other along the way?
- What can we do to support each other?
- How will we define, acknowledge, and honor progress?
#4. How did everyone understand how to work together?
What introspective questions might managers ask themselves before complaining, confronting, or correcting others?
The question I always ask myself is—What can I do to help the individual or team improve their performance.
When things go bad, I ask–what could I have done differently to have produced better results.
Thanks Paul. Moving forward effectively includes reflecting on past performance. I like the question, “What could we do better next time?” That question can be used regardless of results. However, I see real value in, “What could I have done differently…?” when things go bad. It feels like a question that evaluates behaviors and produces change.
What can we do we as ‘a team’ to help each other. What can we do we as as ‘a team’ to correct. What can we do we as ‘a team’ to learn from any mistakes. What can we do as ‘a team’, step by step, not stride by stride, to continually improve.
‘Introspective’! I had to go look that one up.
The four ‘Consider these questions’ are a great starting point.
Q. Do they have to be in that order? (1) introspection (2) complaint (3) confrontation (3) correction? Could they not be (1) correction/discussion (2) rather than confrontation? discussion (3) rather than complaint? discussion (4) introspection followed (5) resolution.
A little bit of a ‘tongue in cheek’ comment possibly a thought evolving, possibly me being me, there is no ‘I’ in manager but there is in ‘leadership’.
Another great post. Have a great day Dan.
Similar question to one you have above but with a slight difference – how do we value, acknowledge, respect and honour each other?
Thanks Thinker. I enjoy how you explore ideas. Regarding the order and language of introspective questions. I often choose the stronger option when I choose words. I think it grabs attention better and invites thought.
Softening language may depend on the culture or the situation. For example, if failure is a pattern, stronger language may be applicable. If it’s a first time failure, softer language seems appropriate.
Likewise, I do enjoy your blogs (apart from the one I considered as ‘thorny’. That doesn’t mean to say I didn’t like it overall, it was just ‘prickly’). But hey, that life, you’re very lucky if you get through it without encountering a thorn or two. 🙂
I do like to look at, explore, consider as many options, scenario’s as possible, not just what may be written in front of you in black & white. Trying to remain and be as open minded as possible also. Also find I am a little more philosophical that what I was in earlier years.
Thanks Dan — another good leadership concept to consider. Whenever someone says: “It goes without saying…”, that’s usually the strongest clue that it’s vitally important to say it. In that vein: Those discussions and dissections of what went right and what went wrong, need to be attached to an action plan that is more than “We need to do better.”. It has to be complete with real, objective steps, attached to real people, with real time frames for completion. It’s easy to criticize if your name and input aren’t quantified.
Thanks Mary Ellen. Your suggestion that something better than ‘we need to do better,’ is powerful. It’s easy to believe that talking and doing are the same thing. We talk about it in the meeting therefore we actually did something about it. It’s an illusion. Cheers
“it take few words to speak the truth” -Chief Joseph Nez Pierce If we walk with humility and compassion in our hearts life’s tasks are easily accomplished as everyone provides a helping hand to those who help others.