Let’s Get Real with Temptation
We grow weaker every time we succumb to temptation. But Emerson said, “We gain the strength of the temptation we resist.”
Temptation and immediacy:
Suppose you’re tempted to ignore a performance issue. Why? Immediate comfort feels easier than long-term benefit.
Temptation ignores the future and offers shallow comfort in the moment.
In the short-term, it might feel more comfortable to:
- Ignore tough conversations.
- Elevate your status at the expense of others.
- Lie to cover mistakes.
The lie of temptation:
Temptation says it’s easier to choose ease in the short-term. But it’s a lie. Dealing with tough issues only get’s more difficult as time passes.
It’s easier to tell the truth today than to cover a lie tomorrow.
Experienced leaders know that difficult situations tend to hurt more as time passes. Choosing ease today exacerbates pain tomorrow.
Things you avoid bite you bad later.
The backlash of yielding to temptation is future catastrophe.
Ego and temptation:
Temptation doesn’t care if you grow and succeed.
Temptation supports bruised egos. Suppose you received negative feedback. Reject any temptation to blame others or make excuses for yourself.
Temptation wants to protect ego by pushing responsibility on others.
You never lead by rejecting responsibility.
The sinister nature of temptation:
Edmund was immediately addicted to Turkish Delight in the Chronicles of Narnia. The more he ate, the more he wanted.
Throw someone under the bus once, for example, and it’s easier to throw others under the bus. Give into temptation a few times and it’s a habit.
The more you succumb to temptation, the easier it becomes to succumb, until consequences catch up with you.
What are some leadership temptations?
What suggestions do you have for dealing with leadership temptations?
Two “addictions” come to mind:
— comfort
— power
…when they become a disproportional (uncontrolled) force we can quickly get in trouble.
Thanks Ken. You remind me of the book, The Power Paradox. The qualities that enable us to earn influence and power dissipate as we gain power. That’s pretty sinister.
If we would look at the core values instilled up us perhaps the temptations may be reduced.
If lets say we come with values focused on the Bible surely the temptations exist, yet we would have the strength to make the correct decision and ignore the wrong choice.
So from a leaders stand point surely “throwing people under the bus” for ones gain would not exist or would it? You make the choice.
Let’s look at “once a liar always a liar” not necessary yet a snake is still a snake even when they shed their skin.
We need to hold ourselves to a higher point of commitment if we are meant to lead, perhaps if you are power hungry to be in your control comfort zone, perhaps you missed the entire point of your leadership.
Thanks Tim. The idea of a higher standard speaks to me.
For some strange reason quick response came to mind as I read your comment. I find that responding quickly when tempted to make an excuse, for example, is helpful.
When we receive negative feedback, respond with openness quickly. Don’t give yourself a chance to come up with excuses or blame.
Dan,
Stand tall and take the blame if “you indeed chose the wrong path”. Having excuses for me tend to darken the path. If we thing everything that took place thoroughly, probably be a lot less excuses.
I think the reason people do it isn’t always temptation or self-aggrandisement, but often because these parts of life are like the parable of the egg: whether you tell the truth now or later, the effect on you is going to be bad, and the future bad isn’t necessarily worse than the present bad.
Thanks Mitch. I hope that leaders are reminded by this post that the near-term pain is almost always less than the far-term pain. Deal with it now.
The ambiguity of distant consequences makes it easy to overvalue irresponsible behaviors today. That leads me to say that character and values are better guides to our behaviors than consequences.
I think that applies perfectly in situations where there is some likelihood of a positive outcome. If the consequence is that you will be fired, there is limited rationale for getting fired today rather than tomorrow.
Better just to quit! 🙂
One temptation is something going wrong and you know it wasn’t you yet others believe it was. The temptation is to immediately blame the person/s responsible. Rather than give into that temptation the bigger question is: “How did this happen? What part did I play in this? How could I have prevented this from happening? What needs to change so it doesn’t happen again? and lastly – what good would come of blaming the other person? Of course it’s so tempting to apportion blame where it belongs – that may win the battle but will it win you the war?
Powerful questions Carolyn. Love all your questions. “How did this happen?” turns people toward the bigger picture. It feels less personal. How might this be better? turns them toward the future.
Thanks Dan. This actually happened to me today and as a result of asking those questions (of myself), I solved the issue very quickly and felt empowered instead of becoming annoyed.
What a timely post! I just had a great conversation with a friend on this very topic. I see too often people telling “little lies” because they believe it is easier than explaining the truth. What I explained in the end is that those little lies will often come back to haunt us. Worse, telling those lies prevents us from addressing the issue at hand. Instead, those issues grow and grow until they take on a life of their own.
Thanks Jay. You nailed two important issues. The worst sin is failing to grow through an issue. Or as you say, not addressing the issue
In terms of dealing with the temptation of not dealing with some thing I ask….What’s the worst thing that will happen if I do this/don’t so this. A silent ugh generally follows and it motivates me to go through my be front door!
Thanks Regina. I’ve read some research that indicates your approach really works! Brilliant
Dear Dan,
Getting higher up in the hierarchy is perhaps the major temptation for leaders in the organisations. Many leaders start succumbing to temptation to achieve better designation.There are many who need power and hence more likely to succumb. Such technique might help to get position but they are not leaders. Second major temptation of leaders could be their influence on decisions. Many times, they might influence decisions to favor someone who they like.
I think, leaders should analyse the impact of their decisions to avoid temptations. Overlooking impact may compel them to accept temptation.
One thing is very clear. In the organisation, leaders might get power and position by temptation. In the process, they cover,or veil over many unethical things, but they fail to become leaders. And you are right, They remain weak as they never learn to resist temptation.
Brilliant! Thought provoking!