Blast Past Fear of Failure and Soar
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Half of all adults admit that fear of failure is the biggest roadblock to not achieving or even revisiting their goals.
Fear blocks action. Fear causes our brain to engage in the wrong conversation. But you can reframe the way that failure is viewed for yourself or others.
6 powerful reframes:
1) There are only 3 ways to actually fail. When we quit, when we don’t improve, or when we never try.
2) Failure is an event, not a person. Never over-generalize that these one-time occasions are who you are.
3) Failure doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you. Believe that when you fail, it was for a reason. Perhaps so you could experience a sweeter tasting success later on or so you could learn something vital for eventual success.
Failure is a delay, not a detour.
4) You don’t suffer when you fail, your ego does. And your ego is NOT you. It’s but one small part of you – albeit the loudest, whiniest, most demanding portion that needs to be knocked down a notch anyway.
5) Your fear of failure shouldn’t scare you. It’s trying to tell you something’s worth it. You wouldn’t fear failing at something inconsequential, right?
6) Failure is a key part of your portfolio. A well-managed career is like a diversified portfolio. The ideal career contains a wide range of job opportunities including risky ones ripe with adventure, experimentation, and yes, even failure. The net of these experiences combines to form a career with a high potential for growth.
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Scott Mautz is a keynote speaker and author of Find the Fire: Reignite Your Inspiration & Make Work Exciting Again. He’s a Procter & Gamble veteran who successfully ran several of the company’s largest multi-billion-dollar businesses and an adjunct professor at Indiana University. To learn more about Scott or to connect with him on social, visit scottmautz.com.
Hi Dan,
Great blog today. #5 resonated with me as it often is what keeps me from exploring new opportunities. I have a knack for rationalizing not steeping into the fear!
Thanks for the comment, Doug! Go out there and get it!
I often use the phrase, “failure is simply an event and not a person.” In addition, my mentor John Maxwell, refers to “failing forward.” I’ve learned much more from what didn’t go well than what did. As a risk averse person, this has been a key challenge in my leadership walk, but one I continue to work on and support others in.
Great minds think alike, Rick! Love John Maxwell. Keep at it in your leadership walk. So glad to hear you are challenging yourself and helping others break through and take risks, too!
Perfect timing for this one! Thank you. I’ve been kind of stuck in a rut lately and have been losing some of my inspiration. This has helped (at least for today). Thank you!
Neil-Glad it could help! You can check out my blog for ongoing inspiration if you’re interested.
Failure is not a bad thing. It builds character and an opportunity to begin again. This reminds me of a couple of quotes:
Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure… than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.
Theodore Roosevelt
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I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.
Thomas A. Edison
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I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.
Michael Jordan
These are great quotes! Thanks for sharing.
#4 is a great reminder that my Ego gets in the way at times. Failure is a natural learning process that does usually work in my favor ( especially when Ego is removed!)
Exactly! #4 is one of the hardest to remember but so important.
When you fail to plan, plan to fail. Sometimes overconfidence gets in the way planning and we get to learn and take advantage of the learning to be authentically confident after we taken all of the right steps to prepare.
Yes! True confidence that comes from learning…and sometimes failing!
Fear of failure is the reminder that only thing that can stop you is You! I want to lead in the place that is located close to confident and far away from arrogant! Thanks for this post!
Love this!
F.A.I.L. = First Attempt In Learning
It is definitely hard to “welcome” that feeling, especially when a situation feels crucial.
Thank you for the reminder and the encouraging words!
Yes! I’ve you’ve never failed, what you have you learned and how? Go get it, Maggie!
Love the distinction between your ego and you. There is a difference! Nice!
Thanks, Michael! Hope this post inspires and helps you remember the next time you need to break through.
I know I’ve wrestled with Fear of Failure all my life, because I was never allowed to “fail” growing up. Thank you for the reminder.
This will help me share the message of the benefits to learning that follow failures. I appreciate the messaging!
This is a helpful resource for empowering others to talk openly about lessons learned from failure- and in this way to deepen the learning of the individuals and the organization. Thanks!
Awesome! Share, share!
Glad I could be of service!
My biggest struggle has been with #3. I’m working on really integrating this idea that failures are my best teacher and that from every setback there are things to learn for the next time. Thanks for the timeliness of this post.
Great to hear it was timely for you!
#5 really resonated with me! My position was recently eliminated and as I look for my next role, I have dismissed some opportunities for fear that I wouldn’t be as successful in them as I have been in my past. After reading this article, I realize that I misinterpreted my fear. As I move forward, I intend to let that fear motivate me to pursue roles that might be challenging, but would also be rewarding.
You got this, Martha! Sorry to hear your position was eliminated but I hope you go for it in this next role and break through your fears and go after a juicy, challenging role!
Love some of these comments and quotes.. I am writing them down and sending them to my project teams! One question not answered… It’s easy to adopt the approaches listed and also easy to manage them individually… What are the strategies to help implement the adoption of this cultural mindset in those to whom you report and/or executive level decision makers who might not “shift” to these viewpoints of failure so easily, especially when a budget and funding is involved?
This is a great point, Jodi. In my book, I talk about how to help cultivate a culture of risk-taking at work, and one of the ways to do it is to start small. Do all of the homework and show that manager or executive the math on the pros and cons of trying something new. Do your best to get them on board beforehand so they understand the risk and that it’s a calculated one. If your risk succeeds, it can help fan the flames of more and more risks (and fails). Not just a lark. Another key piece is trying to understand the rules of the game at your work–what has it looked like in the past when someone tried and failed? Is it really as bad as you think it might be?
I so needed to hear this today – I have started a new job and my old boss still hovers around me – these are so on point! Thank you!
Glad I could help!
Failure is an event, not a person! Wow what a powerhouse of a statement! Many people believe they are failures and not direct the thought from themselves to the event that wasn’t so successful. I myself have been a victim to my own thinking of being a failure at times in not reaching my goals, this is a light bulb for me! I will surely pass this on to those individuals I know who personally feel they are failures to help redirect their thinking. This blog is so appreciated today! Thanks!
Great post today and perfect timing as the healthcare climate is intensifying and becoming very challenging. As a leader this post really resonated with me
I definitely needed to hear this today too. All great reminders that you’ve got to step on the field to play. #1 and #4 in particular resonated with me… #5 is what I’ll focus on when fear rises up…this must be worth looking at / thinking about / working on! Thanks as always Dan for your insights!
Great reminder of how mistakes and failures can be lessons learned and opportunities for growth. Remembering #2 is key.
Looks like a great read. Failure indeed does not have to be fatal nor final.
I believe that you can fail your way to success. You either are successful in your endeavor or have found one way that is not successful-so keep going. There is that quote regarding Thomas Edison and his discovery for the light bulb that he had found thousands of ways that did not work on his journey.
Great point
Does only my ego suffer when I get fired for failing them? It feels like my wallet does too…
I have always said that you only learn when things go wrong. If everything happens according to plan, the learning is minimal. Failure is key to getting smarter!
That’s right, failure is a delay, not a detour!
This was a timely read. Yesterday, I didn’t pass the final for an important course I’ve been working for the past two months, and I’ve reeling since then, trying to figure out how to right the ship and what my next steps should be. Like most failure, it feels like a much bigger beast than it really is.
As always, thanks for posting, Dan.
Very strong point on how not to generalize our failures ! Thank you for reminding us to stay strong as we forge ahead and gain inspiration to meet the challengers in this ever complicated world.
Looking forward to reading the book
I hope you win John – you’ll really like the book I think! (That’s what others are telling me anyway)
If we can see the silver lining in our failures big or small, then there is opportunities for personal growth, improvement, and reflection. But, sometimes the failure is so large and looming that it over shadows the lesson or growth. I was a victim of making the failure a person (me). But, once I recognized that it is just that, a failure and not me as a person, I have redirected my thinking and gaining professional and personal growth for the fail event.
I read your blog everyday, and I am inspired by the leadership tips and antidotes. Thank you.
Good points. Can’t wait to see and learn from the remaining portion of the book.
I think you’ll enjoy it!
All men and women of faith have courage. Enough said.
1) There are only 3 ways to actually fail. When we quit, when we don’t improve, or when we never try.
Worth the price of admission today!
Thanks Michael – glad you found that of service!
I am lucky – I have never feared failure. Because I have not faced it, it is hard to manage or assist in others! This book sounds like the perfect tool to assist in that management!
Interesting concepts, Scott. The one that hit home to me today was: Failure doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you. My son is a college senior and applying for jobs. Each interview is a life lesson. The right job will come along and he will be perfect for it.
That’s the right way to think about it!
#5 is the one the resonated the most. I use this often as a measuring tool of whether I should continue to be an educator or not. The day I no longer fear failing my students or myself is the day I should look for a new position. It is always good to keep the ego in check. Some times that is easier said than done! Great post!
Some of my greatest successes have come after some of my greatest failures
Excellent reframing ideas.
Talking about handling failure is easy. The real test is when we do fail, how do we make sure that in the split-second before we make judgments on what happened and why, that we stay in a growth mindset and positively influence our judgments, which can influence our self-talk, which can influence our attitudes and then our behaviors.
“There are only 3 ways to actually fail” resonated with me. What a great reminder.
Excellent timing on this article as most people just had or are approaching those year end reviews which always seems to be an ego killer. I know they are meant to celebrate your successes and help you improve for the following year – but the later always seems to dominant the conversation – hence the ego bruising commences.
This is very timely. I am going to apply for a director position for a new department that is being added to the organization. I have some fear that I am not sure how to “start up” this department. This was an encouragement to me. I have the skills to lead the department but getting the department up and running scares me.
I would love to read this book as I could relate the new opportunity as reigniting my fire.
Perfectly timed blog! I was just coaching a staff member on how to overcome a challenge (I hate the word failure) and to use the experience to push to greater things. I shared this blog post which reinforced our conversation. One of the most important things I do is help people find their fire when circumstances have dampened it. I look forward to reading the book!
“Failure is an event- not a person” is a quote originally from Zig Ziglar.
Thanks mg. I went out and checked. I think you’re right. I’ll change the attribution.
Thanks for letting me know, mg. I’ve been saying it for years and didn’t know Zig said it!
Perfectly timed blog! I was just coaching a staff member on how to overcome a challenge (I hate the word failure) and to use the experience to push to greater things. I shared this blog post which reinforced our conversation. One of the most important things I do is help people find their fire when circumstances have dampened it. I look forward to reading the book!
Excellent post – Thanks Dan, as always, for the powerful content. In sales, I’ve learned it’s best to ‘Fail Fast’ and ‘Good’ is often the enemy of ‘Best’ –
This post was timely. I needed to be reminded of #4. Who I am is not my ego.
Great article that touchs one of the most important issues both for management and everyday life. Now is our turn to interiorize those reframes and take a different perspective on our “failures”.
#6 resonates well with me. While we may strive for perfection, none of us is perfect. Experimentation is often far from perfect. Failure is a by-product of trying.
It is both true and unfortunate that fear drives so much of peoples success or lack there of. I have found that the culture around you which supports risk and doesn’t punish a person failing can have huge gains for a teams ability to move forwards and grow. This was a wonderful read with opportunities to communicate and implement with my team. Thank you for sharing!
I worked at DIRECTV (now part of AT&T) when we created a program called F12. The goal was to learn how to fail fast. What we do after a failure determines if it’s a failure or just a step in the process (like all the light bulbs Edison couldn’t get right before he found the right one). And I think its important to remember to first solve a problem, then make it more efficient – rejecting outright a solution that doesn’t start out fast/cheap enough can be a huge mistake.
I will be seeking a new opportunity soon. This is timely!
Fear of failure takes so many forms. It is critical to have a close group of friends/colleagues that you can trust to help encourage your growth or call you out in a safe way when you need a kick in the behind! I so need reminded of these key points throughout the various risks I have taken in life.
Would like to read more into those bullets points. I like #6 and believe that with risk taking you will have some wins and some failures. It’s part of the process. Thanks for sharing and look forward to the book.
would love to receive a copy of this book as a person entering the 6th decade of life but who wants to embrace it fully!
Dan, this is so timely! My spiritual director has been reminding me, as I prepare for my annual performance review, that I am not my work! I’m still fearful, even though I’ve had outstanding reviews for all five years at this job. Mistakes and even failures are grist for the mill and opportunities to grow. It’s akin to the sign in my office: “A winner is just a loser who tried one more time.” Thank you for this post!
All 6 points resonated with me. Based on these points, this will be a great read! Thank you for the opportunity.
This is a great reminder to check the ego….it gets in the way so often!
When people tell me they are afraid to fail, I suggest to them to view their situation as if they were a nine month old baby learning to walk. They don’t know they will fail at first. They attempt to stand and they fall on their butt. They attempt to stand again and fall again … again and again … until they don’t. The nine month old baby has no fear … why should you?
Fear and Pain seem to make people respond differently. Would enjoy a copy of your book to read.
Excellent read! I love that the topic invoked so many responses with even more points to consider. Thank you!
This will be a major topic at our next sales meeting! Great topic.
This week’s posts have been extraordinarily timely for me! I had a “failure” of a meeting yesterday. But it is always through my failures that I grow the most as an individual and as a leader. So yesterday’s meeting is just one more event in my own growth!
Dear Dan,
Fear of failure is the self-conceived imagination and not the reality. It happens when do not have courage to face it. When we assume defame from public, we avoid taking steps that involves risk of failure. You are right, fear of failure is not detour, it is a delay. Fear lessens effort by many fold. We lose our energy and even if we try with fear in mind, failure is almost sure.
Secondly the moment we think beyond fear, we energize our effort. And our effort is more likely to bring success. Fear is just like a cap in the bottle. Small cap hinders all the energy within us. But when you open the cap (Fear), you can see your potential. Therefore, open the cap to realize your potential.
Failure “is an option not a requirement”, we have the tools for success, just have to learn how to use them.
For me, #1 and #2 need to go together. I have to remind myself that not improving is a one time occurrence and can and will be overcome if we choose to learn from it instead of fear it and dwell on it.
I love these reframes and want to share them with all my colleagues, friends and family. Number 4 hit me especially “You don’t suffer when you fail, your ego does”! So true, yet our ego tries to make us think that we have been permanently damaged by failure! This reminder should help us get past that pain and be open to learning from the failure.
“Failure is an event; not a person” reminds us we are not failures, but on a learning curve that brings us forward toward success. Refusal to try prevents us from learning valuable lessons. The Edison quote reminds us to keep trying, keep learning.
Thanks Scott, this is a great post. My favorite point is your #4 about failure and ego. I believe our egos are a big obstacle to personal growth, so it helps a bunch to now look at failure simply as a great opportunity for personal growth!
I am always telling my husband and kids that they are not the failures they believe themselves to be. This would really help them to see it for themselves. Thank you for the opportunity to win a copy of your book.
It is interesting to see how many people accept that they “are” rather than “feel” or “have experienced” negative things. They will say that they “are” a failure or “are” depressed, yet they speak of having success rather than “being” a success or feeling happy rather than “being” happy. The way we speak is so powerful because it colors the world for us. We have to be just as mindful with the way we speak to our selves as the way we speak to others.
Love this topic! Number one especially stuck out to me – the failure of quitting….way to close to be comfortable!
#4 is so spot on related to a leaders humility and “Failure is a delay, not a detour.” is a quote to converse with when encouraging teams. Something here for me and something for my team.
Embrace failure, it is a solid means for learning.
Fear of failure is the root of most procrastination, which is just giving up before you even start. Don’t let fear keep you from taking that first step and you will find that it isn’t as scary as you thought.
Great post. Fear of Success is equally paralyzing. In the words of Dennis Waitley – “Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. This is exactly the type of book all leaders should read.
I love the re-frame of failure as an event. It’s not you. It’s the circumstance. Each of us gets to choose now to respond and react to the event. Choose to respond positively. Learn from it and grow. Then, it’s no longer a failure.
FEAR
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Great post, thanks for sharing your insights!
Awesome! What about this. “Failure is not a terminal condition!”
Good advice here, hard to implement but the first step is the hardest. I’ll have to try
Failing fast is another way to learn from failure and react quickly.
#5 is a great reminder! I often forget that, and perhaps I should pay more attention. Great info to review!
Thanks for the reminders Scott
What a great post, Scott! It would be even more compelling to reignite your inspiration, and make your LIFE exciting again. Work is only one facet of our lives, but it often tends to dominate our perception of who we are and what value we add. I think your advice hinges on those two key perceptions. We should first understand our identity — who are we in the context of work and the bigger context of life. We also need to understand our gifts, our talents, and our passions. Aligning our identify, talents, and passions can lead to success, harmony, and satisfaction in life — to include work. Surrendering our identity and role in life to another individual or group can lead to constant second-guessing, frustration, and inconsistency. Reigniting inspiration is important to make life exciting again — beyond the hours at work and the years in a career.
Thanks for the post and opportunity! I am facing my fear of failing by commenting on this post, knowing that I might fail to get a free copy. LOL. Hope a get one!
Failure does not define the person, rather refine the person! 🙂 Thanks for the opportunity!
“Failure doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you”. Agreed as if the belief is it happens to me I fall into victim thinking.
An excellent focus, thanks, Scott!
Re-framing, refocusing happens (or CAN happen) in every moment, every instant.
This couldn’t have come at a better time! I really connect with/got hit over the head with #4: When you fail you don’t suffer, your ego does. #truth Helping me connect failure and the pain of failure to my ego versus myself personally is empowering! Thank you!
#1 is a trap. Everything is within your control, you can’t make excuses for failing. Thanks, Scott…
I’ve not heard the expression “Failer is an event, not a person” before and I LOVE it! I will definitely be using it going forward. Thank you!
Wonderful insight for a topic relevant to being a strong and consistent leader.
Number 6 … start my new job tomorrow after failing in a way with the last one and not being given the opportunity to grow past it. Thanks for reminding me that you can still build post failures.