How Your 18-Month-Self is the New You
The most challenging transition is letting go of the leader you used to be.
Growing leaders aren’t who they used to be. How has your recent story — the last 18 months – contributed to the leader you’re becoming?
In the last 18 months have you:
- Changed jobs?
- Led through crisis?
- Failed publicly? Succeeded?
- Struggled with health?
- Moved?
- Lost a friend?
- Felt disappointment?
Shaping:
Circumstances don’t shape you. Response shapes you.
How might your 18 month story expand your capacity to serve, extend your ability to lead, and deepen your sense of purpose?
Authentic leadership is about showing up as your new-best-self.
- Courage. How have you courageously let go and taken hold in the last 18 months?
- Permission. What permissions have you given yourself?
- Kindness. How have circumstances chiselled off harshness?
- People. How are you impacting others because others have impacted you?
New best self:
How might you translate the last 18 months into practical wisdom, positive intention, and guiding purpose?
- Have you gone through dark days? Bring compassion.
- Have you been drained by stress and disappointment? Bring vitality and encouragement.
- Have you learned to be open, rather than a know it all? Bring curiosity.
- Have you been banging your head against the wall? Bring grit and flexibility.
Decisions:
How might your 18-month-self make today’s decisions?
Don’t jettison established leadership practices for a whim. However, the only way to be authentic is to let your recent story inform current decisions.
View today’s decisions through the lens of who you are today, not who you used to be.
Danger signs:
When you see ugliness in yourself ask, “How might I move toward beauty in the next 18 months?” Suppose your 18-month-self is isolated, fearful, angry, or bitter. Use that as motivation for growth.
What pros and cons do you see if leaders focus on their 18-month-self?
How might leaders include their 18-month-self in day-to-day leadership?
All I can do is try to be better today than I was yesterday and let my experiences shape me in a positive way.
Thanks Patrick. Love your approach. I wonder about the role of responding to experiences vs. letting them shape us. “Letting” seems passive. What role does volition play in the leaders we are becoming?
Wow-this so speaks to me!! I have been in my leadership role the past 16 months. When I look back and review the journey I have been on, I see the transformation of a novice to knowledgeable. From changes in the organization, department to the changes in me!! My growth in knowledge, courage, grit and acceptance has been transforming! I am grateful for where I am now!
Thanks Carol. Your 16 month self has come a long way! Isn’t that great?
We like to think about transforming others. But the journey is about personal transformation first.
I love this post because it’s all about growth and moving forward. The way I could see using this is to be open with staff about how I’ve learned to adapt and change based on my mistakes and also the changing environment. Hopefully this will encourage them to do the same. Staying curious is so important, otherwise we stagnate and become bitter.
Katell, I just have to thank you for the connection between curiosity and bitterness. I’m going to keep that one with me for a long time. I find it powerful.
We might be tempted to ask “why me?” But, I think it’s better to ask, “What might I learn?”
It’s a little uncanny how your posts seem to strike at the heart of my current situation, and not just this post. It is a little like being in church and thinking the Sermon was written just for you, but knowing intellectually that the preacher probably doesn’t even know your name.
I quit a job 2 years ago because the passion had run out after 22 years. It has been a difficult 2 years of introspection and starts and stops as I find that passion again.
I’m a better leader now for having left my old comfort zone. The questions you ask in this post are a great guide for exploring just how my leadership has grown and refocusing my attention on being the best leader I can be.
Thank you,
Kevin
Hi Kevin. Your experience is challenging. Congratulations on working through this. It feels a bit like you are still figuring things out. Frankly, I think we’re always figuring things out.
Best for the future!
Great post that serves to remind us we must strive to be in a constant-growth mode as leaders and always taking steps to be better. I really like “Circumstances don’t shape you. Response shapes you.” Nailed it! Thanks, Dan.
Thanks SGT. Your kind words are encouraging.
It’s interesting how easily the word “growth” rolls off the tongue. Perhaps because others are of the object.
This was just wanted I need to see today. I’ve been walking this journey myself and I like the 18 month perspective. Leaving the past behind and creating a new reality.
Glad you found something useful today, L.
I hadn’t thought about the “leaving the past behind” aspect of this. Fascinating!
Having failed in some ways and felt the accompanying disappointment but refusing to accept dejection as an alternate to resilience I can relate well with this post. Choosing how we will respond and how we will refocus is essential if we are to grow. Thanks Dan Rockwell. I agree with Kevin that your posts do seem to be uincannily directed to me! Probably just ego speaking on my part but maybe it is the necessary introspection that allows us to objectively view our weaknesses and make corrections. Positively, Pauline
I like the past and future 18 month self. First of all, we rarely can remember anything before 1 year, I can barely remember things from a week ago. But usually, we remember our big leadership moments, whether good or bad, and how we reacted. I would like to say that my past 18 month self has been courageous and have been partnering and working with people who were always deemed to be above my paygrade or the other side of the business that I was afraid of. Now I am so much more comfortable working with them once I understood who they are and that they usually want the same things. My future 18 month self needs to be more confident, have more direction and be able to understand my purpose here a little bit more.