Solution Saturday: Three Types of People Who Always Get Stuck
There are three types of people who want solutions but don’t find them, even though answers knock at the door.
Finding a solution starts with who you are.
3 types of people who always get stuck:
#1. Perfectionists who look down on imperfect progress always get stuck.
The need to get it right the first time calls perfectionists to play it safe.
Perfectionists feel powerful saying, “That won’t work.”
John Acuff says the first lie of perfectionism is, “Quit if it isn’t perfect.” (Read his book, Finish.)
Perfectionism is the cousin of stagnation.
Tip: Ask questions that enable progress.
- What changes if you do nothing?
- What’s the worst that could happen?
- How might you try something that you’re confident will succeed?
#2. Know-it-alls filled with blame always get stuck.
The problem is always others when failure persists and you’re in the right.
The finger of blame reflects a closed mind.
Tip: Ask questions that create openness.
- What if they’re just a little right?
- What if you’re just a little wrong?
- What would you consider if you were (Insert a different perspective)? Older/younger, male/female, powerful/weak, customer/employee, etc.
#3. Victims waiting for rescue – when they’re capable of moving forward on their own – always get stuck.
The world is filled with needy saviors who validate themselves by solving other people’s problems.
Needy saviors validate helplessness every time they rescue capable “victims”.
Tip: Ask questions that enable others to explore their own solutions.
- If I wasn’t here, what would you try next?
- How have you worked through problems like this in the past?
- What might (insert the name of an expert) do?
- What options are available? Which one would you like to try?
Their solution is better than your solution, even if it isn’t quite as good.
Which type of person is most prevalent, from your point of view? Perfectionist, Know-it-all, Victim?
What might type of person looks for solutions but doesn’t find them? What might be helpful for them?
Hi Dan,
Great article. It seems to me that one of the biggest challenges to this is insecurity. Coaching/training our people to creatively solve their own problems causes us to face our own insecurities. Also, for a team member to be willing to rise to the challenge of solving problems requires them to overcome their insecurities and fear of failure. To overcome these challenges requires developing a culture of courage.
Thanks for another home run!
Dave
Brilliant! Dr. Hollingshead. Leaders need enough confidence to let others shine, but not so much that they need all the glory.
Perhaps we build cultures of courage by practicing forgiveness and view failure as learning.
Busted! I just saw myself in the mirror of your words. Thanks, Dan.
Move over! I need some mirror space. 🙂 Thanks Jody.
I saw myself too!! So both of you move over. . .
Great “Saturday Solution!” I was Considering #1 in particular. As I’d expect you’d agree, it’s far better to develop a starting effort toward addressing a situation than to develop a complete (hopefully perfect) plan before starting. (1) Far less daunting to develop a good first step; (2) encourages self-assessment and creativity; (3) makes revision a natural part of the process; and (4) THE BIG ONE FOR ME: it provides motivation all along as progress is made (for perfectionists, they see what’s NOT working —> no motivation, indeed even reasons to quit).
Thanks John. Love your insights. I agree that progress is energizing. My personal favorite is #3. Make revision/adapting/adjustment a natural part of the process.
Hi Dan,
Interesting take on the types of individuals who get stuck: perfectionists, know-it-alls, and victims awaiting rescue. Could there possibly be a fourth category? Silo-builders: bosses and employees who refuse ideas better than their own due to squatting on their “rights”, insecurity, and ignorance? It’s such a loss for an organization when tenure and good-ole-boy systems beat down innovation. Now that’s getting and staying S.T.U.C.K.
Thanks Jack. I’m glad you added a fourth category. I’m pretty sure there are many more.
Your suggestion reminds me that none of us is as smart as all of us. 🙂
My feeling is that perfectionists are probably the biggest group. And as long as failure is punished, the tendency toward perfectionism won’t reduce.
Thanks Mitch. Brilliant. What we do with failure determines how quickly we learn and grown. When we punish failure the status quo wins.
An interesting read Dan. In my experience, the perfectionist, know it all, victim and silo builders come back to organizational culture. Many of these flaws can be coached out of people. Often what they lack is self-esteem and self-belief. By focusing on building individual self-esteem, you build the collective self-esteem of an organization and bring about a change in culture where the perfectionist is allowed to make mistakes without fear of recrimination. The know it all learns to listen more than they talk. The victim becomes empowered. However, if the CEO is the silo builder – then that’s an ongoing problem.
Great reading your insights, Carolyn. Yes! Feeling powerful, having confidence, and believing in your strengths along with believing in the strengths of others makes for a great place to work.
I work with all three I would say. Perfectionists are the engineers, the know it alls blaming others is probably my group including me and a lot of people in Operations and the people needing saved are all of those people who do not feel like they are empowered to make any decisions when no one in stopping them from doing so. Very interesting post!! So when you have all of these people together it sounds like we will not get anything done by ourselves. My group has been pushing forward and we have been making change with the help of our boss pushing us to do so. I also like the questions we can ask each other when we hear things like “I can’t do it because”. It will generate discussions and possible solutions!
Everyone fits in somewhere, the “Know it all” side needs to listen to the “doer side” more often.
The experienced that has been in the trenches are your go to people, they can be the know it all’s too, they just need to work as a team and share their viewpoints, knowledge, and expertise to grow the group, company, organization from every angle.