The Gifts of Leadership: What You Really Do For Others
This morning, I’m thinking about gifts that touch us deeply and change us profoundly. I’m not thinking about a bottle of wine or tickets to a play.
The first gift leaders give is belief.
Doubt:
Doubt is a virtue.
You doubt rosy reports and projections. You doubt everyone who says, “Don’t worry.” You’re skeptical of unproven systems and untested people. Leaders believe cautiously.
If you’re smart, you doubt yourself a little. But a little doubt, like hot sauce, goes a long way.
Those who change us believe in us.
Belief:
Big sticks make bosses. But the tool of influence is belief.
The more you believe in someone, the more influence you have with them. The less you believe in someone, the more resistance they feel toward you.
Someone believed in you. Be that person for someone else.
Failure and belief:
Belief means most when it’s difficult to give.
Nothing says I believe in you like a second chance.
Believe when someone fails responsibly. (Responsible failure happens when someone gives their best and fails.)
A third or fourth chance – after the same failure – says you’re irresponsible. You should have changed something.
The gift of belief:
Leaders change us when they believe in us.
- Rely on someone today. Give them a small project with a short timeline if they’re untested. Belief says, “I’m counting on you.”
- Demonstrate confidence today. Everyone on your team knows more about something than you. Ask a question. Go with their answer.
- Respect someone today. Don’t judge them by who you are. See their strengths. A statement like, “You’re really good at taking responsibility,” says, “I believe in you.”
If people believe in you, teach them to believe in themselves.
What are some gifts leaders give others?
How might leaders demonstrate belief in others today?
“Big sticks make bosses. But the tool of influence is belief.
The more you believe in someone the more influence you have with them. The less you believe in someone one, the more resistance they feel toward you.” by DR
Love that quote.
Leaders also give people opportunities to shine!
Hi Paul. Thanks for the good word.
Love your addition of “…give people opportunities to shine!” Great add.
Always have your employees’ back through your belief in them and their work. Praise when appropriate and critique when necessary.
Thanks Jim. I know you believe in me when you stand with me. Some leaders might think it costs something to stand with their team when they’re in a negative spotlight. But, in reality, standing with others makes everyone richer, even when it stings.
This is the perfect season to reflect on “gifts of leadership”; we are all need to remember that something that is important to us will also be important to those we lead… This was the perfect blog for me to read today… Thanks very much!!
Thanks Susan. Yes. I’m thinking about Christmas and being a gift giver. Maybe we should think about being the gift?? Best wishes
I really like the part of balancing beliefs with failures. A second chance demonstrates belief in one’s ability to succeed and is truly a gift and an opportunity to learn from the first failure or mistake. But repeated failures followed by additional chances without feedback that leads to some change in strategy or practice doesn’t really send a message of belief. Instead it tends to lead to frustration and/or enable the continued the spiral of unsuccessful actions (which makes us want to swoop in and fix it), reinforcing their negative belief in themselves. I see this with parents (and I struggle with this too) as well as educators who believe they are helping when in fact they contribute to the ongoing issues. Your post gave me perspective and was my gift today! Thanks!
Thanks Vicki. Wow, your idea about swooping in to fix it really hit home. If we aren’t careful we create a self-fulfilling prophecy. We don’t deal with repeated failure so we become more important. The savior-leader is no leader at all.
I’m with everyone today, second chances are important building blocks as we all make mistakes (granted we need to monitor mistakes as they can be costly in more ways than 1)!
Giving opportunities is growth at its finest, add the encouragement you offered too!
Having thier backs and walk with them makes the journey so much easier.
Thanks Tim. It’s great of you to be a consistent contributor. Sometimes we forget than an affirmation is enough. Thanks for affirming this post.
Dan, you nailed it this time with your “wonder-full” theme of BELIEF. We don’t hear much on BELIEF among the plethora of articles on the art and science of leadership. People think that BELIEF is one of those “”soft issues” that is vague and subjective, and can’t be scientifically or empirically proven. Yet you have expressed and defined BELIEF in leadership well, you’ve also shown how belief in ourselves and others can lead to trust and expectation (hope) fulfillment in both process and outcome. With regard to BELIEF, I am reminded of the parallel between scientist and leader. A scientist has an hypothesis, and a leader has a vision. And both scientist and leader must BELIEVE something to be true–BEFORE “knowing” that it is true. Thanks, Dan, and continued blessings and success be to you and to all.
Thanks Rick. I believe everything starts with belief. 🙂 We believe before we act. In other words our actions reflect our beliefs. We better pay attention to our beliefs. Maybe we should evaluate our behaviors by asking, “What does this behavior say I believe?” Or, “What belief is behind this behavior?” — you got me thinking.
Many thanks for your thought Mark !.
Excellence in a small space .
Great article,Dan.
Your sentiments remind me of the closing of our PASC class this past Saturday. Holding up the book, “The Polar Express,” I asked the students to recall how the story ends…one student just blurted, “Believe!”, another gave a bit more of a synopsis. I then handed them each a holiday bell and reminded them to give it a jingle when they need a reminder to believe in themselves, their students, and supper on the table (poignant for this fire-ravaged area).