The Biggest Danger in Leadership
Self-importance is behind most of the stupid things leaders do.
Self-importance keeps leaders ignorant and isolated.
Self-importance blinds you to your weaknesses and distorts your view of strength in others. Even insecurity is a symptom of self-importance.
Self-importance is the biggest danger in leadership.
Self-important leaders:
- Live with a sense of under-appreciation. Others don’t fully appreciate the splendor of self-important leaders.
- Love to be noticed and need acknowledgement.
- Expect agreement. Self-important leaders feel offended when challenged. Self-important leaders always have THE answer.
- Idolize the trappings of power. Corner offices, executive limousines, and being rushed to the head of the line seduces leaders to look down on the little people.
- Support weak team members who aren’t a threat, but compete with competent colleagues. How do you feel when colleagues receive praise but you don’t?
- Work to advance themselves even if it disadvantages the team.
- Bristle at being under authority. Qualified boards are enemies to self-important leaders.
7 suggestions to solve self-importance:
#1. Be important enough to make others important.
In order to make a difference in the world, you must believe you have something to offer. But remember, you have two or three remarkable qualities. Everything else you have is average or below.
#2. Let others win. Better yet, help them win.
#3. Stop comparing yourself with others.
Everyone loses the game of WHO HAS THE MOST TOYS.
#4. Show up to serve.
#5. Admire everyone on the team.
Reflect on people’s strengths more frequently than you ruminate on their weaknesses. Invite everyone in for a THIS IS WHAT I ADMIRE ABOUT YOU conversation. Don’t add a few weaknesses at the end.
#6. Realize leaders are nothing without the people they serve.
#7. Acknowledge the temptation of self-importance.
What symptoms of self-importance do you see in leaders?
How might leaders overcome self-importance?
(Please feel free to challenge the premise of this post and suggest your own “biggest danger.”)
Isn’t self-importance just another word for EGO??? For me at least, egos being so negative, where you use self-importance, I can use ego.
Hey John. Thanks for stopping in. You’re probably right. This afternoon I got to thinking about self-importance. The word ego came to mind a few times, but it felt less descriptive. For some reason, the word self-importance helped me think more clearly.
Having said all that, I won’t fight over it.
I appreciate the distinction and the desire not to fight. I think “ego” refers to one’s total concept of self. “Egotistical” might be more closely related to “self-importance.”
Self-Importance is often a cover for inadequacies or perceived flaws. From a leader this can be ‘fleshed-out’ in constant requests for affirmation (and who is going to tell the Leader they are wrong?), using people without knowing them (don’t care who does the job as long as it gets done), and only wanting to talk about themselves (the conversation always comes back to them). I truly believe that ‘fear’ is the driving force behind what seems to be a narcissistic Leader.
Thanks Steve. You added some useful expressions of self-importance. Needing to be the focus on the conversation is one symptom for sure.
Self-importance says “It’s all about me.”
How might leaders overcome immature narcissicism?
Think, speak, and act on win/win/win strategies and scenarios … it’s a habit, not a weakness.
#3. Comparisons invite jealousy and its companion emotion, resentment – which, taken together and not resisted, allow hatred and ENVY (behavioural sins) to form and take a deep root. Always ask whether you are enabling entitlement/envy or empowerment/VIRTUE, and always be vigilant as to which is occuring: the evil or the good.
#6. Leaders serve virtues that are loyal to the people, not the people (who are not so virtuous) themselves.
#7. Narcissicism is not so much a temptation as a default; human corruption of influence/authority/power and all that. Self-importance is far easier to justify (especially to one’s self) than public virtue.
(Sustainable) Leadership persuades/affirms the good; it doesn’t manipulate/coerce tolerance of the bad.
Thanks Rurbane. I so appreciate how you added insights to these ideas. Very helpful.
Your first statements about win-win-win is powerful. It gives a center and focus to leadership.
Sometimes self importance is hidden insecurity
I realise the part where you have “Everyone loses the game of WHO HAS THE MOST TOYS” probably wasn’t meant to but it made me laugh, this could be relative to so many scenarios in life in general. Not sure if it a ‘time of life’ moment but I always thought toys were for children but as I go through the years, see different scenarios, I often relate the scenarios to childhood behaviour.
“#6. Realize leaders are nothing without the people they serve” – this is something that can be, possibly even often forgotten or become lost, a leader is there to serve the people as well as the people to serve the leader, demonstrating two way co-operation, communication, understanding.
a thought for The Thinker …
Narcissicism is a natural developmental necessity (i.e. one to pass thru, not to get stuck in),
both when a child is utterly dependant (say, up to age 6 and begins to socialize), and then again when
that same child differentiates/becomes self-sufficient (say, around the ‘age of majority’ of 18, 21, 26 – who knows these days?)
so it can be comic to realize that otherwise sophisticated intellects are in fact very immature emotionally and stuck in a need to project their own need for the envy of others (which gives them validation for their instinct toward self-importance),
and then tragic when we realize we’ve enabled them with influence, authority, and/or power.
Dan,
I see “we the people” as all the people, so from a team perspective you can be the leader, just know its about all the people.
The reflections on “EGO” hopped out today, but “self importance” can be an acknowledgement as well that everyone is part of the team and are equally important, not so much an “Ego” trip statement.
I appreciated your challenge to challenge this premise.
I tried to think of things, like lack of clarity, focusing on activities instead of objectives, focusing on the short term win over the long term success, and others like those. I was unable to come up with anything that couldn’t be linked to a possible by-product of self-important leadership.
If I can think of anything throughout the day, I’ll be back. 🙂
I enjoyed Patrick Lencioni’s (sp?) insights in Ideal Team member that talked about Hungry, Humble and people smart. You were mostly speaking about the proper need for humility today. Which I agree with, but the risk of a long term leader loosing that hunger can end up in leading his team to stagnation or lack of people smarts can lead to tyranny all lead to destroying the team and loss of leadership.
Thanks Dan
I like #4 and #5. So often, we hear the term “servant leaders. I’ve found that to be valid with our mission of empowering people with knowledge and skills, then stepping back and letting them take the lead and get the credit for improving their lives and communities. My dad used to say, “God’s gift to a small man is a big ego.” The best leaders in my work experience have been the most supportive and humble.
Would love to see you expand on the statement that even insecurity is a symptom of self-importance! I’m sure it’s true, but it would be interesting to see how that dynamic works.
Now, Dan, this is just cold…”But remember, you have two or three remarkable qualities. Everything else you have is average or below.” Probably true about everyone AND me, but just ‘cold.’ LOL. Thanks for keeping me humble.